WWF Prime Time Wrestling (June 2, 1986)

Original Airdate: June 2, 1986

Your Hosts are Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan in the studio

Don Muraco v Dan Spivey: From Boston Massachusetts on April 26 1986. Muraco stalls at the onset, which goes on for several minutes. Spivey finally puts the boots to him and delivers a bodyslam to get things going, but then Don immediately bails for more stalling. Muraco has the weirdest body hair patterns I think I’ve ever seen. Inside for a criss cross, won by Spivey with another bodyslam, and he takes a stomp to the groin before Don can bail again. Spivey slaps on a standing side-headlock, as Gorilla and Lord Alfred Hayes wonder if the young wrestlers today are too ‘chivalrous.’ That’s probably the first and only time I’ve heard literally anyone wonder that about a pro-wrestler in the 1980s. Muraco dumps him to the outside to turn the tide, and Spivey takes a ride into the first row. Don with a flying axehandle on the way back inside, and a vertical suplex is worth two. Spivey comes back with a clothesline for two, and a standing dropkick sends Don right over the top. Spivey with a suplex back into the ring, but Muraco rolls back into a cradle after landing, scoring the pinfall at 9:00. A lot of stalling here, but it was okay when they were actually engaged. ¾*

Tony Garea v Mr. X: From Boston Massachusetts on April 26 1986. Joined in progress here (thank God) with Mr. X in control. Mr. X with a kneedrop for two, and he works a chinlock for a while. Clipped right to the good stuff, I see. Mr. X switches to an armbar, as the announcers discuss their experiences with the guest commentators at WrestleMania 2, which is actually significantly more interesting than anything going on in the ring. Mr. X with a bodyslam to set up a legdrop for two. Mr. X goes back to the mat with a headlock, until Tony forces a criss cross, but gets nailed while trying a backdrop. Mr. X puts the boots to him for two, and it’s back to the headlock, as Gorilla talks about how his longest ever match was ‘an hour and a half’ against Bruno Sammartino, in which he became so dehydrated that he had to lick the sweat off of Bruno’s body to stay in it. “Of course, Bruno thought I’d come out of the closet, or something,” notes Monsoon. Oh boy. Tony tries making a comeback, but misses a charge in the corner, and Mr. X delivers a bodyslam to set up a springboard flying splash - Garea able to roll out of the way! Tony goes back on the comeback trail, and a rollup puts it away at 9:13 shown of 14:20. I think I can safely rate this at ½*

Ken Resnick catches up with Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake. I’m assuming there were multiple takes done for this, and they went with that one?

Lanny Poffo v Psycho Capone: From Boston Massachusetts on April 26 1986. Joined in progress, with Poffo in control. Lanny with a leg-feed enzuigiri, and they trade wristlocks, dominated by Poffo. Capone manages a backdrop, but a hiptoss into an armbar gets reversed on him, and Poffo dropkicks him out of the ring. Capone nails him on the way back in, but gets reversed into the turnbuckle anyway, and Lanny dropkicks him back to the outside. Inside, Poffo uses a bodyslam to set up a flying somersault senton splash, and another bodyslam sets up a flying moonsault for two. Another bodyslam sets up a springboard flying somersault senton splash, and that’s it at 4:28 shown of 6:59. *

King Tonga v Tiger Chung Lee: From Boston Massachusetts on April 26 1986. Also joined in progress, with Tiger holding a toehold, as Gorilla notes that he doubts Tonga would ever submit to anything. Yeah, you think? Tonga fights him off with an atomic drop to set up a toehold, and he works that for a while. “Neither man is trying to pin his opponent, they’re just trying to bang each other,” notes Monsoon. “Yeah… uh huh…” responds Alfred. This has been a very revealing show for Gorilla. Tonga with a turnbuckle smash, and he keeps pounding on the leg, then slaps on a leglock. Lee counters to a nervehold, but Tonga fights to a vertical base, and they slug it out - won by Tonga. Criss cross allows Tonga a superkick, and that’s that at 7:14 shown of 10:37. This was really dull. DUD

Resnick catches up with Hoss Funk and Jimmy Jack Funk to debate insanity. That kind of panel isn’t really complete without Terry

WWF Tag Team Title Match: The British Bulldogs v The Hart Foundation: From Brantford Ontario Canada on May 5 1986, and originally aired on the May 17 episode of All Star Wrestling. The Bulldogs can’t be bothered to wear matching tights tonight, they should have been stripped of the title right then and there. Davey Boy Smith starts with Bret Hart, and Smith wins a criss cross with an atomic drop that knocks Hart right into a headbutt from Dynamite Kid. Kid tags in to unload on the Hitman in the corner, but Bret gets away, and both guys tag. Jim Neidhart tries a bodyslam, but Davey reverses, and passes back to Kid, so Anvil rakes his eyes. Tag to Bret for a combo, and he hammers Kid with a series of headbutts, then unloads in the corner. Hart with a pointed elbowdrop, and a backbreaker sets up a 2nd rope elbowdrop, but Kid dodges. That allows the tag to Davey, and Bret kisses the sky off of a backdrop. Running powerslam looks to finish, but Neidhart breaks the count at two. That allows the Foundation to deliver the Hart Attack, but the referee calls for a disqualification at 4:09. This wasn’t much of a match, but the quality of the work in even just those four minutes was blowing away everything the Tiger Chung Lees and Tony Gareas of the world had, and then some. *

From Tuesday Night Titans, Vince McMahon hosts the Mating Game, with Jimmy Hart, Bret Hart, and Jim Neidhart playing the bachelors. This is a lengthy, lengthy skit (running some twenty minutes, not including the time taken by the commercial breaks), and it drags significantly. I mean, it’s a cute gag, but for five minutes, max. Max. Bret’s voice also sounds really weird here

Big John Studd v Ted Arcidi: From Boston Massachusetts on April 26 1986. Ted is probably the most ‘roided up individual I’ve ever seen. Even Big Poppa Pump era Scott Steiner would be telling him to cool it with the gas. I mean, his arms are so big that they barely look fully functional. They measure each other to start, with literally nothing going on for, like, the first five minutes. Studd powers him into the corner, but Ted slugs back when Studd starts hammering his chest with forearms. They spill to the outside to keep slugging it out, and we have a double countout at 10:04. This was one of the most boring matches I’ve ever seen. DUD

BUExperience: The selection of the matches for these things is… something.