WWE Extreme Rules (May 2011)

Original Airdate: May 1, 2011

From Tampa, Florida; Your Hosts are Josh Matthews and Booker T

Opening Last Man Standing Match: Randy Orton v CM Punk: Jerry Lawler is on commentary for this one, and sounds like he’s calling some completely different show. The New Nexus are banned from ringside for this one, per an email from the anonymous RAW General Manager during the entrances. Seems that stipulation comes up, like, every month. Didn’t they just think to ban them from ringside permanently? Seems like it would save everyone a lot of trouble. Orton dominates early on, but Punk manages a snapmare to set up a kneedrop, looking very Randy Savage-like in his delivery. Orton gives him the same sequence, so Punk bails, and he cracks Randy with a kendo stick when Orton follows. Inside, more stick shots, but Orton won’t stay down for the count. Punk with a side suplex to set up a dive, but Orton uses the kendo to block, and he unloads with it some. Pair of clotheslines lead to an inverted headlock backbreaker, but Punk blocks the rope-hung DDT, and sends Randy into an exposed turnbuckle with a catapult. Orton beats the count, so Punk nails him with a knee in the corner, but Randy blocks the GTS. Reversal sequence ends in Orton chucking him into a corner mounted chair, and Punk takes a bump to the outside off of it. Randy follows, but Punk nails him, and drops him onto a chair on the way back in. Randy beats the count, and manages an RKO, but Punk beats that count. Back to the outside, Punk takes a bump into the barricade, and Randy tries a DDT on the floor, but Punk shoves him into the post to block. He goes to the top on the way back in, but Orton beats the heck out of him with the kendo, and an RKO finishes at 20:07. Most of these Last Man Standing matches are like watching paint dry for me. ½*

WWE United States Title Tables Match: Sheamus v Kofi Kingston: Two matches in a row that can’t end in a pinfall/submission is not a good start. They slug it out to start, with Kofi getting the better of it. He goes to the outside to get a table, but Sheamus cuts him off, and Kingston gets tossed into the barricade. Sheamus sets the table up on the floor for a crucifix powerbomb, but Kingston slips away. Kofi gets inside, so Sheamus follows with a slingshot shoulderblock, and he hits Kofi with a table. Crucifix powerbomb through the table, but Kofi blocks again. Brogue kick, but Kofi dodges, and he tries suplexing the champ over the top though a table, but Sheamus blocks. He knocks Kingston off of the apron, but Kofi manages to land on the other side of the table to avoid losing the match. Sheamus tries a suplex through a table, but Kofi blocks, and does a crazy dive off the top to drive Sheamus through a table on the floor at 9:08. Another boring match, but at least it was boring for nine minutes instead of twenty. ½*

Country Whipping Match: Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross v Jack Swagger and Michael Cole: Cole comes out covered in bubble wrap, in a funny touch. Lawler and Swagger start, and a distraction from Ross allows Jerry to get some shots in. Tag to Cole, and he swaggers in with his bubble wrap. Lawler takes a few swings, but gets nowhere, so he just punches him in the face, and takes the wrap off. Cole tags out before Jerry can get much in, and Swagger pounds the King down. He ties Jerry to the middle rope with one of the straps to put the boots to, and he passes to Cole to unload. The heels work Jerry over, but Jack misses the pump-splash, and Lawler makes a comeback. Cole comes in to try and save, but Lawler no-sells, and nearly gets his hands on Michael… before Swagger recovers with a chopblock. That allows Swagger to get an anklelock on, so Ross swings with the strap to distract him, and King is able to tag. Yes, it’s a hot tag to Jim Ross against a former world champion. This is a thing that is happening. Ross gets an anklelock on Swagger (which Jack actually sells like death), but he’s able to tag out. Ross beats Cole down, and gets an anklelock on him, but Swagger saves, so Ross goes low. The distraction allows Cole to recover, however, and he schoolboys Jim at 7:00. Swagger selling for Ross here was a bigger joke than Hulk Hogan selling for Jay Leno in 1998. DUD

Falls Count Anywhere Match: Rey Mysterio v Cody Rhodes: Rhodes hammers him to start, but Rey manages a headscissors to send him to the outside, and Mysterio is on him with a baseball slide into another headscissors on the floor. Rhodes bails up the aisle, and nails Rey with a dropkick when Mysterio chases, allowing Rhodes a two count. They fight onto the entrance stage, where Rey reverses him into the set, so Cody distances himself, but Rey dives off the stage with a seated senton on the floor for two. They fight into the crowd, and end up going up the steps to the (conveniently taped off) concourse. They do some nothing brawling there (drawing a ‘this is awesome’ chant from the crowd - which seems especially silly considering they’re watching on screens), and Rey dominates as they head back down to ringside. Rey tries a charge, but Cody hiptosses him on the floor to block, and he feeds him a helping of steps for two. Rey manages a springboard for two on the way back in, and a flying headbutt gets him another two. Cody tries a superplex to come back, but Rey mists him in the eyes to block, and the 619 sets up a springboard flying splash at 11:41. ½*

No Disqualification Loser Leaves Town Match: Michelle McCool v Layla: Michael Cole joins the announce team here, and stays on for the rest of the show. McCool attacks before the bell, dumping Layla over the top, and then planting a roundhouse kick for two on the way back inside. She dumps Layla to the outside a second time, but Layla drags her out this time, and sends her into the announce table. Charge, but McCool sidesteps, and Layla crashes into the table. That gets McCool a two count on the way back in, but a big boot misses, and Layla dropkicks her for two. McCool begs off, but Layla shows her no mercy, so McCool delivers a belly-to-belly suplex for two. Back to the outside, McCool misses a big boot again, and they fight onto the barricade, won by Michelle. Inside, McCool talks trash, but Layla fights back with a somersault stunner for two, and a neckbreaker gets another two. McCool manages another roundhouse kick for two as they recover, and a reversal sequence ends in McCool delivering a pancake piledriver for two - Layla countering the pin into a crucifix cradle at 5:23. And the stipulation actually stuck, as McCool never returned, save for a few one-off appearances in battle royals years later. Afterwards, Kharma makes her debut, attacking McCool for the hell of it. ½*

World Heavyweight Title Ladder Match: Alberto Del Rio v Christian: This is for the vacant title. Christian dominates in the early going, but Del Rio turns the tide on the outside, sending Christian into the post. Del Rio grabs a ladder, but Christian backdrops him over the top on the way inside. Christian looks to climb, but Del Rio trips him up, and sends him into the steps. They fight over the ladder for a bit, ending in Christian climbing, but Del Rio chucks a mini ladder at him to cut it off. He tries a suplex out of the ring, but Christian reverses onto a ladder. He climbs, but Del Rio cuts it off, so Christian puts him through a planked ladder on the outside. That gives Christian a clear path to the gold, but Brodus Clay comes out, pulling the ladder off, and leaving Christian hanging from the title belt, high above the ring. Clay pulls him off to a chorus of boos, but Christian reverses him into a ladder, knocking him silly. Time to climb, but Del Rio has recovered, and clobbers him. That allows Alberto to trap him in a cross-armbreaker, and he climbs, but now Edge shows up in a Jeep. That distraction allows Christian to tip the ladder, and Christian climbs at 21:05! I didn’t really dig this as a match, but the overall story was good, and it was great that they pulled the trigger on Christian, because the crowd wanted it so badly, and it would have been a huge error to drag it out to the next show, or whatever. ¾*

WWE Tag Team Title Lumberjack Match: Kane and Big Show v Wade Barrett and Ezekiel Jackson: Show and Wade start, and Show knocks him around. Over to Kane for a shining wizard for two, but Jackson clobbers him, and the heels cut the ring in half for a bit. Show gets the tag, and runs wild, but gets dumped over the top by Jackson, and the heel lumberjacks unload. Inside, Jackson bodyslams Show, and Wade goes for the kill, but stupidly gets over confident trying to power Show into a firemans carry, and gets chokeslammed at 4:13. DUD

Main Event: WWE Title Triple Threat Cage Match: Miz v John Cena v John Morrison: First fall wins, and it’s via pinfall, submission, or escape. The Johns team up on the champ to start, but Miz fights them off, and sends Morrison into the cage. He tries to escape, but Morrison cuts him off. Morrison tries to escape, Cena pulls him down, so Morrison does a springboard onto both guys, getting a two count on Cena. Morrison makes some crazy leaps up the side of the cage to try an escape, but R-Truth comes in, stopping him. Truth locks himself in the cage so he can beat Morrison down, leaving him cold. That allows Miz to try and climb, but Cena keeps him inside after an Attitude Adjustment off the top rope, giving Cena the pin at 19:52. ¼*

BUExperience: I got nothing out of this. 

DUD