ECW Hardcore Heaven (August 1997)

After the success of Barely Legal in April, ECW returned to pay per view in the summer of 1997, bringing their annual Hardcore Heaven live event into the pay per view market – the buildup focusing on an cross-promotional match between ECW mainstay Tommy Dreamer and the WWF’s Jerry Lawler.

From Ft. Lauderdale, Florida; Your Host is Joey Styles.


Opening ECW Television Title Match: Taz v Chris Candido: Candido tries to get in Taz's face (finally picking on someone his own size, at least), but gets cunt punted for his troubles, and head-and-arm suplexed to the outside to lick his wounds. Back in, Taz tosses him around, and takes him to the mat with an armbreaker - but Candido makes the ropes, and powerbombs the champion. Enzuigiri and a legdrop get two, and they do one of the worst chain sequences I've ever seen - both clumsily exchanging holds. Candido recovers with a nice hanging vertical suplex, and a pair of sliding legdrops - but a blind charge gets him backdropped to the floor. Taz follows to whip him into the rail, but Chris reverses, and drags the champ in for rana off of the top rope. Flying headbutt gets two, but a clothesline misses, and Taz tries to choke him out on the mat - only for Candido to make the ropes. He powerbombs Taz again for two, and then tries it off of the top rope, but Taz belly-to-belly suplexes him off. German suplex, and a t-bone suplex, but he gets powerslammed coming out of the ropes, and Candido tries a superplex, but gets caught in the Tazmission from there, and we're out at 10:52. Bad match and a bad opener. This was a total mess - lacking any flow, psychology, or execution - coming off more like two local Indy guys honing their craft than something you'd expect on pay per view. ½*

Bam Bam Bigelow v Spike Dudley: Spike goes right after Bam Bam - unloading closed fists - but the Bammer pitches him clear across the ring in response, and squashed him with an avalanche. Samoan drop, but Dudley counters into a faceslam, and follows with a bulldog. Dropkick sets up a flying rana, but Bigelow catches him in a powerbomb on the way down to trigger an 'ECW' chant. Press slam onto the post sends Dudley crashing to the floor, and Bam Bam drags him in - only to press slam him from the ring into the first row. Just crazy - not only as a spot, but in endangering the fans (kinda makes those 'first three rows may get wet!' warnings at SeaWorld seem ridiculous by comparison), and not helped by Dudley then bleeding all over a really uncomfortable looking guy trying to get out of the way. Bam Bam finally drags him back in, and finishes with a flying moonsault at 5:05. A few great bumps from Spike, but nothing overall. ½*

Rob Van Dam v Al Snow: Van Dam tries to get flippy floppy early, but Snow takes him to the mat in a front-facelock, and gives him an Ocean Cyclone suplex for good measure. Blind charge misses, however, and Van Dam monkey flips him - only to get caught up patting himself on the back, and dropkicked to the floor. Al follows him out with a plancha, then walks all the way up the aisle to get a proper running start into a clothesline. Into the rail, but Van Dam springboards off of it for a moonsault. Van Dam with a somersault seated senton, but he gets crotched on the top rope on the way back in, and Snow super-duperplexes him off for two. Another try, but Rob shoves him off, and hits a flying sidekick on the way down. Standing moonsault for two, and the Five Star Frogsplash gets two. Criss cross allows Van Dam to flip flop around some more, so Snow simply flapjacks him to take the pep out of his step. Standing moonsault and the Snowplow for two, so Van Dam tries more flipping, but gets flopped when Al dropkicks him to the floor. He follows with his own somersault senton, and starts going ballistic on Van Dam with a chair to drive the point home. He tries the charge out of the aisle trick again, but Van Dam throws the chair at him to counter, then crotches him on the rail. Inside, a corkscrew legdrop gets two, and the Van Daminator finishes at 13:43. Sluggish and repetitive - though it had some nice spots peppered in. *

ECW World Tag Team Title Match: The Dudley Boyz v PG-13: This is replacing the advertised Gangstas/Dudley's match, as Gangsta Mustafa Saed bailed on the promotion, in turn vacating the tag titles - which the Dudley's are awarded here. D-Von Dudley starts with Wolfie D, and they actually trade hammerlocks to start - Wolfie controlling, and setting up an atomic drop/clothesline combo with partner JC Ice. Tag to Buh Buh Dudley, and he counters a go-behind by literally being too fat for Wolfie to wrap his arms around, so D takes him to the mat with a rana instead. 2^nd rope bodypress misses, however, and the champs work him over - targeting the arm. A miscommunication teases PG-13 taking control, but the Dudley's just pound Ice instead. Buh Buh misses a clothesline to allow Ice to pass back to Wolfie, and he's a house of arson - hitting D-Von with a gutwrench powerbomb for two. Four-way brawl breaks out, and PG-13 can't hold it together - Wolfie getting Dudley Death Dropped at 10:58. Amateur night continues, as these guys work the most basic match they left training camp with - running too long, to boot. ECW prided itself on being an 'extreme' alternative to the WWF and WCW, but this felt like a dark match from a Superstars taping more than 'hardcore' - a running theme so far tonight. DUD

Tommy Dreamer v Jerry Lawler: Dreamer doesn't bother waiting for the ring intros to finish before he starts chasing Lawler, quickly blasting him with a cookie tray to draw blood, and taking him on a tour of the arena to abuse him with various weapons - including a sandwich. No! Not tuna! Is there no mercy?! Into the ring, Dreamer tries a Greco-Roman flying chair shot, but Lawler crotches him up there, and slams him onto the chair. The King unloads a few shots of his own, and back to the outside, Dreamer gets whipped into the rail. Then whipped literally, as Lawler finds a belt laying around. Inside, Jerry piledrives him for two, so he tears Dreamer's ECW shirt off of his back, and wipes his ass with it. How Dreamer survived that brutal ass wipe, I'll never know. It does inspire him to come back with a series of jabs, when suddenly the lights die, but, no, it's not the shitty production values - it's Rick Rude here to wallop Dreamer with a trash can. That gets Lawler two, but Tommy catches him with a piledriver coming out of the ropes - only for the lights to die again. This time, it's Jake Roberts (in his ECW debut, looking like a shot out Tony Soprano) to DDT Dreamer. One for Lawler, too, since he doesn't particularly care for him - but the King falls on top of Tommy for two. Dreamer shrugs it all off with a DDT, but the lights die yet again, and this time it's Tammy Lynn Sytch to blind Dreamer with a can of hairspray. That triggers a catfight with Beulah (the best part of this mess), but Lawler breaks it apart to piledrive Beulah/fondle her ass. Dreamer stops it with a clawhold to the balls (that must have been awkward, considering Lawler was likely at least half hard from Beulah), and a DDT finishes the King at 18:57. Pretty disappointing, given the build. I mean, it gave the fans what they wanted (Lawler getting killed), but didn't have enough gas to justify twenty minutes. Sort of a tough booking situation - as it's a case where you have to go long enough to give the fans their moneys worth/suitably blow off the angle, but the two guys you're booking can't really do more than ten minutes without it falling apart - hence loads of overbooking. ¼*
 
Main Event: ECW World Title Three-Way Dance: Sabu v Terry Funk v Shane Douglas: Everyone circles, sizing each other up, before Sabu gets Douglas in a headlock - Funk wisely deciding to head to the floor to let them have it out, since it's elimination style anyway. The others don't like that plan, however, and a brawl on the floor quickly breaks out - both guys taking turns whipping Funk into the rail. Inside, they continue to work together against Funk (Suplex! Slingshot Legdrop! Bodyslam! Atomic Drop!), but Funk won't stay down. Douglas stupidly breaks the treaty by bashing Sabu with a chair (as he's covering Funk - which is ridiculous, considering this is elimination), and they spill into the crowd to brawl - Sabu springboarding into the third row after him. Meanwhile, Funk takes advantage of the retards, and recovers in the ring. Back inside, Shane hits Sabu a hanging vertical suplex for two, and Funk gives him a neckbreaker across two chairs for two. Shane clips Terry to try and work the knee, but Sabu breaks that up, so Funk piledrives him for two - as Douglas heads to the floor to grab a piece of the guardrail. He stupidly throws it into the ring (in turn, passing it to Funk), and gets whipped into it for being an idiot. Shane manages a sleeper on Sabu, but Funk piles on with a sleeper on Douglas - and they play totem pole for a while, the low man switching to the top. It all ends with Sabu springboard moonsaulting onto both for two, and he grabs a table, but everyone misses their cues - the idea that Funk would switch Sabu-manager Bill Alfonso into his place, but they took so long doing it, Sabu had to wait on the top rope for a solid thirty seconds before 'accidentally' diving onto Fonzie. Ladder gets involved next, but Sandman (who Sabu and Rob Van Dam sent to the hospital earlier) shows up to whack him with it, allowing both Funk and Douglas to roll him up for the pin at 19:34. Terry and Shane spill to the floor for various weapon shots, as half the locker room stumbles out to watch from the aisle - as if this is a classic they have to see with their own eyes. Slugfest goes Shane's way with a belly-to-belly suplex for two, and a piledriver allows him to set up a table. Francine comes to get her licks in first, but that draws Dory Funk in to even the score. Well, I'm not sure hundred and ten pound woman versus former world champion is 'even,' exactly, but close enough, I guess. Meanwhile, Shane finally gets to the table - trying a belly-to-belly off of the apron through it - but Funk reverses. Inside, Douglas with a pair of belly-to-bellies for two, but a third try gets him cradled for two. Another belly-to-belly finally finishes it at 26:37. Wow. I don't know what they were going for there, but I don't think that was it. All over the place, no flow or psychology (or even basic logic), just dull chaos, and certainly not a classic in any sense of the word. DUD

BUExperience: One of the worst shows I have ever seen, especially from ECW – as usually even when the wrestling isn’t great (which is often), it’s made up for with atmosphere and excitement. This lacked any of that – everyone looking like the Florida heat put them in slow motion for the night (were they drinking on the beach all day?), and no one putting in a particularly good effort. All that combined with the worst production values (not ECW’s strong suit to begin with) I’ve ‘seen’ yet make for a horrible, amateurish, and forgettable show. DUD