WWF WrestleMania XII

With a thin roster going into 1996, the WWF tried something different for WrestleMania XII: selling the event on a card filling sixty-minute Iron Man match between Shawn Michaels and WWF Champion Bret Hart, and leaving the celebrities behind – one of the first WrestleManias not to feature any celebrity involvement whatsoever, despite taking place in Southern California. Instead, the show was sold entirely on Shawn Michaels’ efforts  to realize his ‘boyhood dream’ of winning the WWF Title – with no other title matches booked on the card.

Watching live as an eleven year old mark, the buildup absolutely worked. Like the WWF, I didn’t care much about the rest of the card, but I remember being absolutely pumped at the notion that my two favorite wrestlers were going to battle for an hour, and my buddy and I were pulling hard for Shawn Michaels – one of the very few times I wasn’t fully behind Bret Hart in a match.

From Anaheim, California; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler.


Free for All: WWF Tag Team Title Match: The Godwinns v The Bodydonnas: This is the finals of a tournament for the titles - vacated by the Smoking Gunns after an injury. Henry Godwinn starts with Zip, and backdrops him quickly then catches him with an Ocean Cyclone suplex. Both men tag, but Phineas Godwinn gets too hot and bothered looking at Bodydonna manager Sunny, and Henry has to literally wrestle him to the mat to prevent the debut of rape on WWF programming. Henry gets caught in a double-team suplex to allow the Godwinns to cut the ring in half, but Skip misses a Rocket Launcher, and Phineas is an outhouse of fire! Slopdrop (an inverted DDT) for Skip, but Sunny hops up on the apron and lifts her skirt up to distract him (hey, I popped for that back in ’96, too – can’t blame him), and Skip schoolboys him for the titles at 5:24. It's kinda sad that the tournament final for a major title didn't even make the cut for the pay per view (or break six minutes) - but this period was one of the worst for the titles during the 90s, so it's not particularly surprising. This was decent for what it was - the Bodydonnas working some nice tandem spots, and bumping around for the Godwinns. *

Opening Six-Man Tag Team Match: Yokozuna, Jake Roberts, and Ahmed Johnson v Vader, Owen Hart, and Davey Boy Smith: If the face team wins, Yokozuna gets five minutes alone with former manager Jim Cornette. Yokozuna and Vader don't wait for the bell to start trading off - triggering a six-way brawl ending with the heels on the floor, and Johnson diving out after them with a plancha. Inside, Yoko and Vader slug at each other again, but Yoko shrugs it off, so Owen and Davey fire off a double-team, and now Yoko's selling those body shots. He manages a chokeslam, however, and tags Ahmed to powerslam Bulldog - only to get clobbered by Vader. Buttsplash misses, however, and Ahmed takes him down with a diving shoulderblock. Slam for Smith, but Owen Hart stops the Pearl River Plunge with a missile dropkick, and an enzuigiri allows Vader to splash him. The heels cut the ring in half on Johnson, but Owen gets clotheslined out of a criss cross, and Jake tags for a short-clothesline. Blind charge misses, however, and now it's Jake's turn to get triple-teamed. Davey with the Running Powerslam for two, but a legdrop misses, and Jake passes to Yoko for another slugfest with Vader. Samoan drop has Davey finished, but he stupidly tags Jake instead of covering, and that triggers a six-way brawl. Roberts plants Hart with the DDT in the chaos, but gets caught up with Jim Cornette, and the Vaderbomb finishes Roberts at 13:11. Weird ending for this type of match - but they wanted to keep the heels (particularly Vader) strong, in turn failing to deliver what the fans came for. Good work from the heels, but the face team looked sloppy - particularly Johnson and Roberts. *

Hollywood Backlot Brawl: Goldust v Roddy Piper: Simple angle here: Goldust hits on the ultra-macho Piper (while he was subbing as WWF President for Gorilla Monsoon - who was selling an attack from Vader), and gets his ass kicked. Though, really, Piper was subbing for Scott Hall, who had gotten himself suspended for drugs again, and was quickly falling out of favor with management. The idea here is that they battle on an actual Hollywood backlot - no more is really explained (To a pinfall? Submission? Ten count?), and we cut 'live' (it was pre-taped) to Piper standing in a alley with a baseball bat, waiting for Goldust. Conveniently, Goldust shows up at just that moment (dramatically screeching the tires of his gold Cadillac around a corner), only for Piper to smash the windows in, and start beating him with the bat. Into a catering table (it's a 'Hollywood backlot,' remember), and then into a dumpster for good measure. Piper keeps beating the shit out of him with various weapons, and slams him onto the hood of the car before blasting him with a closed fist. Goldust blows him low to turn the tide, and bails back into his car, ramming Piper onto the hood, and then driving off - Piper hopping into his white Ford Bronco to give chase at 4:39. To be continued...

Steve Austin v Savio Vega: Austin was still quite early into his run here - still managed by Ted DiBiase, and carrying the Million Dollar Belt. Big slugfest to start - spilling onto the floor quickly. Inside, Vega tries a backdrop, but gets a boot to the face, and Austin rams him into the post before stomping the shoulder. Armbar, but Vega wrestles out - only for Austin to axehandle his shoulder as he tries to build momentum, and post him again. Hammerlock slam, and the not-yet FU 2^nd rope elbowdrop for two. Vega with a fluke bodypress for two, but he can't keep it going - getting Thesz pressed. They do a pinfall reversal sequence, and Vega tries a backslide, but (in a nice touch) his shoulder gives out, and Austin reverses. Meanwhile, we start to see footage of Piper and Goldust involved in a 'high speed car chase' - which is actually news footage of the then still somewhat relevant OJ Simpson Bronco chase from June 1994. Austin tries to put Vega away with a flying splash, but Savio gets the boot up, and starts unloading chops. Backdrop, but a spinkick ends up taking the referee out, and Austin whacks him with the Million Dollar belt - only the referee is still out. Austin kills time by putting the unconscious Vega in a chinlock - which gets him the submission by knockout at 10:08. Psychologically sound, but the crowd didn't give a shit about either guy, and the announcers were wrapped up in the Piper/Goldust drama. The ending didn't do them any favors, either. * ¼

Hunter Hearst Helmsley v The Ultimate Warrior: This is Warrior's big return to the WWF - last seen in the fall of 1992 - as Vince McMahon starts hedging bets with Diesel, Razor Ramon, and Bret Hart all either leaving the promotion, or taking sabbaticals after WrestleMania. Helmsley's valet for the evening is the still unnamed Sable, in what would be her debut angle. Warrior gets a big, pyro filled entrance - as Vince sits silently on commentary, likely annoyed that the crowd doesn't seem to give a shit about his expensive new toy. Not that he gives one about them, either, but they could at least pretend! It's WrestleMania! Helmsley pretends - jumping Warrior from behind with the Pedigree, but he's already BLOWING UP!! Series of Clotheslines! Diving Shoulderblock! Press Slam! Splash! 1:39! Complete and total squash - really only notable today for watching the guy who would become Triple H getting destroyed in under two minutes. The really interesting stuff happens afterwards, as HHH bitches out Sable for the loss backstage, only for Marc Mero (her real-life husband, making his WWF debut) to step in and save the day - triggering a long feud between the two. DUD

The Undertaker v Diesel: Good angle to set this up, as each guy had cost the other separate pay per view WWF Title matches against Bret Hart, and then spent months playing mind games with each other - the best of which was probably 'Taker sending Diesel a casket... with Diesel's own corpse inside. Big, proper slugfest to start, won by Diesel, but he misses a blind charge. 'Taker, in turn, misses a leaping elbowdrop, and they spill to the floor - Diesel going into the steps. Back in, an early Tombstone attempt pops the crowd (Seriously guys? You thought it was over two minutes in?), and when that fails we get the ropewalk spot instead. To the floor again, ‘Taker grabs a chair, but misses, and Diesel dumps him into the rail, then the post a couple of times for good measure. He then does the best thing one could do in that situation – walk back into the ring and stick both arms up in the air like he’s already won. 'Taker makes it back in, and Diesel pounds away - so maybe I shouldn’t question his brilliant arm thrusting strategy. Sidewalk slam gets two, and more arm thrusting sets up some abuse in the corner. Neat double big boot spot puts both guys down, and you can guess what happens when Paul Bearer (aligned with the Undertaker, for those Bearer-tracking) starts screaming about the Power of the Urn. Unfortunately, no amount of sitting up can save us from a resthold - in this case, Diesel with a bearhug. Come on, dude! You just literally laid on the mat for a good two minutes – get it together, or go to WCW. ‘Taker comes back with a side suplex, and a leaping elbowdrop. Flying clothesline gets two, but he stupidly goes for a backdrop (Come on! When do you ever even use a backdrop? And on a guy Diesel’s size? And when his finisher is a powerbomb?), and, yeah, gets powerbombed, popping the hell out of the crowd. Diesel, of course, just stands there instead of actually covering, clearly learning nothing from his previous arm thrusting. Another powerbomb, and after a full minute, he bothers to go for a cover – only to be met with UT sitting up into a chokehold, like some horror movie villain. Jumping clothesline! Chokeslam! And the tombstone finishes things at 16:47. Diesel (already on his way to WCW) actually wrestled a very smart match here, as he took his sweet time to do anything after his finishers, and never actually let UT kick out of them. I remember liking it a lot, live, as an eleven year old mark - though it doesn’t hold up as well today. Still, Solid, fairly well paced, not overly plodding stuff. ** - and probably the Undertaker's best match to that point, as he didn't rely on the gimmick too heavily, which was a big problem with his early stuff. In fact, he would soon revamp his entire style away from the zombie character - and became all the better for it.

Hollywood Backlot Brawl: Goldust v Roddy Piper: We go backstage, as Todd Pettengill is watching a monitor - Goldust and Roddy Piper apparently only moments from the arena, which is great timing, since the last match is over! Speaking of great timing, just as Todd says that, their cars come flying into the arena parking lot, and Piper stalks him to the ring to finish the brawl. Goldust tries to go after Piper's leg, but he no sells the whole 'hit with a car' thing, so Goldust blows him low, and fondles his ass. To the top rope, but Piper crotches him up there, so Goldust gives him a smooch to try and smooth things over. Of course, Piper loses it, and strips Goldust down to the S&M gear he has underneath his tights (remember - if anyone ever makes unwanted sexual advances towards you, first beat them, then remove their clothing in public while smacking their ass), and Goldust bails to give Piper the win at 5:35. So, I guess to answer the earlier question, it's a fight until one guy gets stripped near naked, and has his bare ass smacked. Stiff stuff here, and certainly not boring - but you have to ask: if Goldust is being chased by Piper, why drive to a building where thousands of people are inside, calling for his blood? That's like a police chase ending with the guy pulling up to the courthouse. * ¼

Main Event: WWF Title Iron Match: Bret Hart v Shawn Michaels: This was less a feud, than a really well done angle, with Shawn Michaels making a 'miraculous' comeback to wrestling after legitimately being attacked by a 'group of thugs' outside a bar, and trying to realize his 'boyhood dream' of winning the WWF Title - first getting through the challenge of the Royal Rumble, and now facing Champion Bret Hart. To add intrigue, it's a sixty minute Iron Man match - whomever scores the most decisions after an hour is the winner. Shawn, never understated, flies to the ring on a zip line from the ceiling - still one of the most memorable entrances of all time. Both guys start off slowly and cautiously, and Bret powers him into the corner. Another collar-and-elbow has them on the mat trading go-behinds, and Bret tries a side-headlock, but can't keep Shawn grounded. He suckers Shawn into a false sense of security by allowing him an armbar, and then manages to counter - trapping him in a bracing mat-based side-headlock. Shawn keeps fighting - maneuvering into several pinfall/escape attempts - but Hart keeps him locked down, until Shawn manages to power into an overhead wristlock - only for Bret to trap him right in a front-facelock, and then shifting his momentum back into the headlock. Criss cross allows Shawn a quick armdrag to disorient Hart, and a second into an armbar - Bret trying to counter, but getting held firm by Michaels. Another criss cross ends in Hart hitting a droptoe-hold into the headlock again, but Shawn sees it coming, and slips out before he can lock it - putting Bret on the mat in a nice hammerlock. Weird moment, as the hammerlock allows me to scan the crowd, and I notice a guy dressed (hair, face paint and all) like 'crow-era' Sting - which is especially weird, considering that angle (or even the nWo) hadn't started yet at this point. Maybe it was Jeff Farmer, prophesying his range. Meanwhile, Hart powers out of the hold, and tries to start another criss cross - but gets caught coming into the corner by Shawn, and dumped to the floor with a headscissors takedown. Bret regroups out there, and Shawn gets the frustrated champion into another hammerlock. Bret tries to counter by returning the favor, and dumping him - but Michaels skins the cat back in, and goes back to the armbar. Bret tries a more direct counter this time - blowing him low - but Shawn counters a chinlock with a reverse armbreaker. Bret kips up into a another side-headlock, but Shawn forces a criss cross - only to end up getting spinebustered, and having to dive into the ropes to avoid the Sharpshooter. Bret still manages to clothesline him to the floor as he scrambles to his feet, but Shawn reverses a whip into the post - leaving Bret slumped on the time keepers lap. Superkick, but Hart hits the deck, and Shawn blasts the poor time keeper. Well, no wonder the guy had it in for Bret. Inside, Hart grounds him with a chinlock - Shawn resorting to closed fists to break, and a dropkick dazes Hart enough for Shawn to rehook the armbar.  

Twenty Minutes in Shawn shifts into an armbreaker, and then into a hammerlock - as Hart continues to try and counter. Pair of backelbows finally does it for the champ, and he starts unloading uppercuts in the corner - so Shawn rams the shoulder into the post again to leave Bret on his back. Shoulderbreaker, and a 2^nd rope axehandle to the shoulder follow-up. Sloppy hammerlock slam keeps the hurt on the shoulder, and a single-arm DDT sets up another armbreaker. Hart powers into a stungun to break, and a slingshot into the post gets two - Hart crawling for the cover. Turnbuckle smash reversed by Michaels, but a blind charge misses, and Hart hits an inverted atomic drop for two. Bulldog, and he heads upstairs to ride Shawn down - knee at his neck - only for the referee to get bumped in the process, as Shawn pulls him into his way to cushion his fall/avoid more punishment to the neck. The distraction allows Shawn a powerslam for two, but Hart piledrives him for two. To the top rope again, but this time Michaels slams him off, and hits a rana into mounted punches. Into the rope, but Hart hangs on to the ropes to dodge a backelbow, so Michaels grabs him for a backbreaker for two. Superkick, but Hart hits the deck again - this time slipping to the floor to regroup. Shawn's right on him, though, diving off of the top with a flying forearm to the floor - nearly ending up on Stu Hart's lap in the front row in the process. He drags him in instead of taking the  decision by countout, and it costs him - as Hart rolls through a flying bodypress for two. Backslide, but Shawn somersaults into a cradle for two, and hits a fisherman's suplex for two. Sleeper, but Hart won't go down, so Shawn fires off a backelbow. Blind charge misses, however - Hart catching him on the way into the corner with a backdrop clear over the post to the floor. That should be a countout, but Hart breaks it to slam him into the ringpost, then roll him in.

Forty Minutes in Hart starts working the back - firing off headbutts at it, and whipping Michaels into the turnbuckles. 2^nd rope elbow to the lower back, and a backbreaker leave Shawn slumped in the corner for Hart to keep stomping. Flair Flip leaves Shawn on the top, so Bret helps him down with a side-superplex for two. Reverse chinlock, but Shawn breaks, and tries a desperation sunset flip for two. He can't sway the momentum, however, and Hart goes for a superplex - but Shawn fights him off, and dives at him with a flying axehandle. Still, he can't capitalize, and Hart gives him a Russian legsweep for two. Cross corner whip sees Michaels flying over the top, and Bret whips him into the stairs for good measure. Back in, a belly-to-belly suplex gets two, and he tries a vertical suplex, but Michaels counters into a rollup for two - only to end up getting launched to the floor out of a forceful kickout. Bret follows with a well executed tope (one of the more iconic visuals of his career), and Shawn is dead half way up the aisle - Hart hanging back in the ring to take his countout with less than twelve minutes left! Shawn beats the count, but Bret is right there to meet him with a another suplex from the apron, only for Shawn to slip into the rollup counter again - this time Bret anticipating it, and countering into a German suplex for two. Slugfest goes Bret's way (a determined Michaels slugging from his knees), and he hooks another reverse chinlock - ten minutes to go. Shawn struggles up into a standard chinlock, and from there manages to fire off a pair of elbows the break. Criss cross ends in a double knockout spot, and Hart's up first with a super-duperplex. Sharpshooter, but Michaels kicks and claws before Hart can lock it on, so Bret compromises with a half-crab instead. Michaels makes the ropes, but he's still dead, and Hart has no problem hitting a backbreaker. 2^nd rope elbowdrop, but Michaels lifts his boot to block, and dropkicks Hart into the corner, then whips him across the ring for his chest-first cross corner bump. Shawn with a diving forearm out of the ropes, and a diving backelbow sets up a flying axehandle for two. Snap suplex, and a flying elbowdrop get two. Gutwrench powerbomb, and a well executed flying moonsault for two. 2^nd rope flying rana for two, and Shawn's so exhausted at this point he can barely climb the ropes for a missile dropkick - Hart using the extra moments to recover, and catch him in the Sharpshooter on the way down - thirty five seconds left on the clock. The crowd loses their shit, but Michaels hangs on, and time expires at 60:00 - a draw. Hart retains (the crowd about fifty-fifty in their reaction), but WWF President Gorilla Monsoon decides to restart the match under sudden death rules. Bret begrudgingly heads back - arguing with Monsoon as Shawn struggles to recover - and Hart aggressively goes right back after the back at the bell. Backdrop sends Michaels into the heavens, and a backbreaker, but Shawn catches him coming into the corner again (just as he did in the first ten minutes) - this time blasting him with the Superkick instead of a takedown. He's too battered to even crawl over and cover, however, and both men stagger to their feet - Shawn just beating Bret up with another Superkick - this time having the presence of mind to fall on top for the pin at 1:53 of overtime. Afterwards, no embrace, no handshake - just Shawn posing in the ring with his new title, as the defeated Bret Hart shuffles back to the locker room - not to return until the fall (though he did work some overseas tours, as he was still the biggest draw). The lack of an embrace or passing of the torch moment caused a lot of observers (and even workers within the promotion) to infer that there was legitimate heat between the two. And while there was some, their real feud didn't start until later - at this point having Bret walk out was meant to help build what was supposed to be a rematch for the title the next year at WrestleMania 13. While a lot has been said about the booking of this one, I agree with the consensus that the lack of falls hurt the match - especially in the long run. That said, I also agree with both Shawn and Bret's logic that two top guys giving up tons of falls doesn't work either (a problem I have with many 'Texas Death' style matches), but there were certainly situations that warranted credible falls - and the draw really makes this hard to sit through on repeat viewings, since all the real drama is in the sudden death portion. Still, it's a brilliant match - well worked from bell to bell, filled with impeccable timing and execution, and loads of fluid chain wrestling sequences. Where it falls short is the noted lack of falls, as well as some strange psychological choices (Shawn spent so much time focused on the arm instead of the neck (Superkick!), and Hart eventually got to the back, but spent the first forty minutes on the neck) - though both guys worked those parts exceptionally well. Overall, it did a good job of living up to the hype, and certainly carried the show – going over sixty minutes without any ‘are we there yet…?’ feeling. ****

BUExperience: Pretty much the definition of a ‘one match show’ – and it doesn’t pretend to be about anything else, not even putting the tag title match on pay per view. On that level, it delivers – as the Iron Man takes up over a third of the show, and is brilliant. That being said, it is very slow, mat-oriented stuff (even by 1996 standards), and certainly isn’t for everyone – even people like me, who enjoy the style, not clamoring to sit down and rewatch it they way I would some other four-star level matches. If it’s not your style, unfortunately the show doesn’t offer much else – making for a very polarizing card. **