WWF WrestleMania IX

Going into WrestleMania IX, the WWF’s direction was veering wildly. While the main event scene of 1992 had been dominated by Ric Flair, Randy Savage, and the Ultimate Warrior, by 1993, Flair was back in WCW, Warrior had bailed on the promotion, and Randy Savage was (perplexingly) regulated to broadcast duty.

Fearing that his main event of Bret Hart and Yokozuna clashing for the WWF Title wasn’t enough of a draw (both were still relatively untested – Hart only recently elevated to main event position, and Yoko a mere six months into his run), Vince McMahon called upon his most historically reliable draw – Hulk Hogan – to save the day. While he wasn’t technically booked in the main event, his return (Hogan had stepped away from the WWF after WrestleMania VIII) was heavily promoted – teaming with pal Brutus Beefcake to take on WWF Tag Team Champions Money Inc.

From Las Vegas, Nevada (outdoors at Caesars Palace – one of the greatest wrestling sets ever designed); Your Hosts are Jim Ross, Randy Savage, and Bobby Heenan – in Ross’ WWF debut.


Opening WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Shawn Michaels v Tatanka: Tatanka was doing an undefeated gimmick at this point, and he beat Shawn in a non-title effort on TV to set this up. Luna Vachon debuts as Michaels' new valet, so former valet Sherri stands in Tatanka's corner in response. If you ever need proof that Shawn enjoyed boatloads of drugs in the early 90s, look no further than that trade - though, really, trading Sherri for Luna is about the pussy equivalent of trading heart disease for cancer. Shawn tries for a pair of single-leg takedowns, but Tatanka kicks him away, and they trade hammerlocks until Shawn gets him in a side-headlock. Flying bodypress, but Tatanka catches him in a well-timed armdrag on the way down, and a dropkick. Shawn Flair Flips to the floor, and Tatanka keeps hammering away - only to get his eyes raked, and caught with a sloppy sunset flip for two. Criss cross ends with Shawn taking an inverted atomic drop, and another ends in a single-arm DDT. Tatanka works the arm, and hits a shoulderbreaker as Shawn tries to criss cross him again. Flying tomahawk chop, but a second falls right into a Superkick - though it wasn't lethal let in 1993, so Shawn doesn't even cover, instead dumping him to the floor. Shawn with a nice diving clothesline off of the apron, but he wastes time taunting Sherri instead of finishing him. Back in, Michaels manages a swinging neckbreaker for two, and a standing dropkick for two. Chinlock, but Tatanka powers up, so Shawn tries a victory roll - only to botch it like he did the sunset flip. He tries it again, but Tatanka counters with an electric chair, and we have a double knockout. Shawn with a series of 2^nd rope axehandles, but Tatanka is JIGGING UP!! Series of Chops! Flying Bodypress for two! Slingshot into the Corner for two! Fallaway Slam - but Shawn counters into a schoolboy for two, and breaks the momentum. Flying bodypress of his own, but Tatanka catches him in a powerslam on the way down for two. It spills to the outside, and Shawn misses a dive into the steps - but Tatanka stupidly leaves him out there, and gets a countout victory at 18:15. The booking made Tatanka look ridiculous, and they should have done a disqualification of some sort instead - possibly involving the women. Long opener for the era, a bit sloppy at points, but generally well worked, and with nice selling from Michaels. ** ¾   

The Steiner Brothers v The Headshrinkers: Scott Steiner starts with Fatu, and Fatu makes the mistake of shoving Steiner - ending in Scott sweeping him to the mat in a double-leg takedown. Slugfest goes Scott's way, and a clothesline is sold with a nice somersault by Fatu. The Headshrinkers try a double-team to slow things down, but end up getting blasted with stereo flying clotheslines - but Steiner's flying off of the same turnbuckle at the same time, in a visually impressive touch. The dust settles on Rick Steiner and Samu, and Samu levels him with a knife-edge, and a cross corner clothesline. Steiner returns fire with a clothesline of his own, and passes back to Scott for a double-underhook powerbomb. Criss cross ends with Samu catching him in a vicious stungun (Steiner falling all the way to the floor), and Fatu slams him while on the outside. Back in, the Headshrinkers cut the ring in half, but Samu misses a big flying splash, and Rick's a doghouse of fire - but gets caught with a double-forward falling Russian legsweep. The Headshrinkers try an electric chair/flying bodypress combo, but Rick catches the flying Samu in midair with a powerslam for two. Tag back to Scott, and he creams Samu with a Frankensteiner for the pin at 14:22. Good, hard hitting stuff here - Scott selling the heat segment quite well, and some nicely worked double-team stuff from everyone. ** ½

Crush v Doink: Doink had been playing various malicious pranks on Crush for months to set this up - the best of which was faking an arm injury, and beating him with a prosthetic arm. And he starts with another prank (squirting water in his eye), and Crush overreacts just a bit - slamming him on the floor, and ramming him into the rail. Dude, chill! You're outside in the desert sun, and a dude squirted you with cool water. Not exactly a capital offense where I come from, but then, I'm not from Hawaii and I'm not named 'Crush,' so who knows, really. Inside, Crush continues overreacting, and hits a neckbreaker before stomping Doink's face. Backbreaker, but Doink manages to snap his neck across the ropes to take the pep out of his step, and hits a flying axehandle. Another leaves Crush face down on the mat, and Doink picks him up for a piledriver. Bodyslam sets up a flying splash - but Crush gets his boot up to block, and powerslams him. Press slam sets up Crush's headvice finisher (the Compactor) - but the referee gets bumped in the process, and suddenly another Doink runs in with the prosthetic arm to whack Crush with, and give the first Doink an easy win at 8:28. Really dull stuff here - the crowd not into it at all, either. ½*

Razor Ramon v Bob Backlund: Backlund stupidly offers a handshake at the bell, and gets a toothpick thrown in his face as a result. Backlund draws on his amateur background to try and ground the larger Razor, but gets kicked in the gut, and bodyslammed. Lots of stomps follow. Backlund tries to come back with a dropkick and a butterfly suplex, but Ramon bails after an atomic drop. Bob tries to drag him back in - only to get cradled on the way, and pinned at 3:45. Total squash here - Backlund strictly enhancement talent at this point. It's kind of crazy to think that Backlund would go on to win another WWF Title not long after this, and Ramon (despite all of his success in the 1990s), never getting there. DUD

WWF Tag Team Title Match: Money Inc v The Mega-Maniacs: Hulk Hogan's return was set up by Brutus Beefcake's return in February - out of action since a parasailing accident three years earlier - and getting attacked by Money Inc during his first match back on RAW, where the heels tried to break his face (where he was legit injured in the accident), leading to Hogan's return, 'cause 'when you hurt (his) friends, you hurt (his) pride - (he's) gotta be a man, (he) CAN'T LET IT SLIDE!!' Hogan is sporting a nasty black eye here, the cause of which has triggered significant debate over the years. While the storyline explanation was that Money Inc was responsible, the official explanation was that he got it in a jet skiing accident. Other rumors persist that Randy Savage gave it to him - angry that Hogan had supposedly hooked up with ex-wife Elizabeth. Though it's never been made clear, I don't believe Savage was responsible - if only because he seems to have zero animosity towards Hogan on commentary (if anything, complementary), and even celebrated in the ring with him later in the show (off camera). The champs jump them on the way into the ring, clearly not having learned anything from Sid the year before - you can't beat a guy while he has his theme music playing. Good try guys, but it's a physical impossibility. Nothing you could have done there. IRS gets things officially started with Brutus Beefcake, and goes right after the face - which Beefcake has covered with a protective mask. He and Ted DiBiase take turns working him over, but DiBiase makes the mistake of trying a flying axehandle - only to hurt his hands on Beefcake's mask. Tag to Hulk Hogan to unload a ten-punch in the corner, and he mounts him for another series of right hands (variety!). Clothesline sets up more punching, but his hands get tired, and he tags Beefcake. The challengers clean house, so Money Inc decide to bail and keep the titles with a countout loss (hey, it worked for them the year before), but the referee won't have it this year - declaring that if they don't return by the ten count, they lose both the match and the titles. The dust settles on DiBiase and Hogan, and Ted fires off a shot to the throat to get Hogan on the mat. IRS chokes him with the tag rope for good measure, and after loads more choking from both champions, DiBiase manages to hook the Million Dollar Dream. Hogan fades, but Beefcake runs in behind the referee's back and breaks it up with a Sleeper (Really? A sleeper to break up a hold?), and we have a double knockout! Both men manage to get a tag out of it, and Beefcake blasts IRS with a high knee - only to get caught with a cheap shot from DiBiase on the outside. DiBiase manages to get the mask off of him, and Money Inc cut the ring in half with face-oriented offense - though there's only so much face-oriented offense out there, so Beefcake pretty quickly recovers with another Sleeper. Unfortunately the referee gets bumped in the process, and with him out on the mat, both teams (even the heels, perplexingly) bother to make legal tags. The Maniacs destroy them in the chaos, but the referee is still out, so Jimmy Hart (Money Inc manager, who abandoned the team when he thought the attack on Beefcake was taking things too far) runs in and counts the pinfall himself at 18:43. Ah, but this isn't ECW, so another WWF Official runs in, and declares Money Inc the winners by disqualification. Appropriately long for its position on the card, but about five minutes too long from a quality perspective (really disjointed, underwhelming stuff), and with a bad ending to boot. While you would think Beefcake would have gained some momentum out of the whole thing, he was out of the promotion altogether only a few weeks later. ¾*

Mr. Perfect v Lex Luger: Luger was introduced by Bobby Heenan at the '93 Royal Rumble, as his hired gun to get revenge on Mr. Perfect for betraying Heenan with a face turn before the '92 Survivor Series. They fight over wristlocks and hammerlocks in the early going, until Luger gets blasted with a Perfect dropkick (in both senses) to knock him to the floor. He regroups out there, and tries to overpower Perfect on the way back in, but gets swept off his feet, and Perfect starts targeting the knee. Chops in the corner, but Luger reverses a cross corner whip, allowing Perfect to do his somersault oversell out of the corner. To the floor, Luger works the back with a ram into the ring apron, and he keeps after it back inside the ring. Backbreaker gets two, so he tries a rollup with two feet on the ropes - but the referee catches him. Powerslam gets two, but a backdrop ends with Perfect sunset flipping him for two. Sleeper, but Luger backs him into the corner to break - so Perfect fires off a cradle for two. Backdrop, and a slingshot into the post leave Luger cowering in the corner - but Perfect keeps on him with a ten-punch count. Pair of clotheslines get two, and a swinging neckbreaker for two. Missile dropkick for two, and a backslide - but Luger hooks the ropes, and reverses for the pin at 10:56 – the referee missing Perfect’s feet in the ropes. Disappointing match - one that likely would have been better had the heel/face dynamics been reversed. Both guys put in an effort (particularly Perfect), but they just weren't clicking, and the crowd taking a collective nap didn't help them any. * ½

The Undertaker v Giant Gonzalez: This grew out of Undertaker's 'feud' with manager Harvey Wippleman, as 'Taker had defeated Wippleman's Kamala in a casket match at Survivor Series, so Harvey brought in the mysterious Giant to harass Undertaker instead.  Fuck, look, I get why they did these shit as feuds for ‘Taker. It was the kind of 90s junk they built a large part of the company on... but FUCK dude. Gonzalez gets right to choking, so ‘Taker runs (well, slowly walks) the ropes to gain leverage, and grabs a choke of his own. God forbid someone usurp The Undertaker in the choking department! God forbid! Ropewalk forearm makes its WrestleMania debut, but ‘Taker eats boot off of a charge. Gonzalez with what sort of looks like a hiptoss (it was more of a ‘hip directional suggestion’), and then a chinlock so loosely applied I can actually see people in the crowd pointing it out. Jim Ross tries to cover it up on commentary by actually stopping to discuss the weather. Power of the Urn (or, you know, logic) saves him from submitting to it, but a jumping clothesline fails, and they spill to the outside. Undertaker no-sells some shots into the steps, and back inside, no-sells some headbutts with the sit up. Slugfest gets Gonzalez to his knees, but Harvey Wippleman tosses a rag into the ring. Gonzalez gets a hold of it, and smothers ‘Taker with the chemical soaked rag, getting himself disqualified in the process at 7:33 - and giving us a chance for a re-match at SummerSlam! Afterwards, as the Giant beats 'Taker down, the crowd loudly chants for Hogan - clearly expecting him to have some involvement beyond losing his earlier match. Holy God was this bad! As I said, I understand why they booked these type of feuds for ‘Taker during this period, but at least blow it the fuck off. If I were in the crowd (or buying the pay per view), I would have felt insanely ripped off by that lazy excuse for a match (you’re not good wrestlers, fine, but that was lazy wrestling, and there is a difference), and the non-ending that settled literally nothing. -****

Main Event: WWF Title Match: Bret Hart v Yokozuna: This was less a proper, main event feud than Yoko winning the Royal Rumble (in the first year that the winner received a title shot at WrestleMania), and then... getting that title shot. The angle here is less blowoff, than 'can champion Hart defeat the unstoppable monster?'. Bret blasts him with a dropkick as Yoko stretches, and unloads on him in the corner - but Yoko swipes at his face, and a shoulderblock sends Hart crashing to the floor. Bret manages to sweep Yoko on the way back in, and follows with a slingshot splash to set up a 2^nd rope elbowdrop. Series of clotheslines, but Yoko won't go down again, and fires off another shoulderblock to put the Hitman on the mat. Bodyslam sets up a big legdrop, as the crowd chants 'USA' to motivate the Canadian Hart. God, no wonder he became so bitter in 1997. Nervehold, but a blind charge misses, and Bret tackles him to the mat for a two count - only to walk into a savate kick. Another nervehold, and another missed blind charge set up a 2^nd rope flying bulldog for Hart, and a 2^nd rope elbowdrop for two. 2^nd rope clothesline, and a hangman's clothesline leave Yoko staggering into the corner for a ten-punch. He falls flat on his face out of it, and Bret slaps on the Sharpshooter, but Yokozuna manager Mr. Fuji throws a handful of salt into Hart's eyes, and Yoko hooks the leg  at 8:56. Bret noted in his autobiography that this was booked to run longer, but that the desert heat affected the obese Yokozuna so badly that Yoko segued into the finish ahead of schedule - in turn cutting off most of Bret's offense. Not much of a match here, but Hart certainly worked hard around Yoko's restholds. * Afterwards, Hulk Hogan runs back out to protest what ‘the Jap’ had done, and Mr. Fuji stupidly challenges him to the title match then and there - Yokozuna still sucking wind. Bret 'gives his blessing,' leading to...

WWF Title Match: Yokozuna v Hulk Hogan: Yoko tries to jump him right away, but Hogan ducks another Fuji salt throw, and hits the Legdrop to win the title at 0:21 to send the fans home happy. This was supposed to set up Hogan/Hart at SummerSlam (after Hogan finishes Yokozuna in a rematch at King of the Ring, where Hart would win the tournament), but Hulk didn't feel Hart was 'in his league,' and instead dropped the title back to Yoko at King of the Ring before leaving the promotion. While the decision to put the title back onto Hogan here has been heavily criticized over the years, it did make logical sense. Hart wasn’t a proven main event draw, and Hogan was – with business down, and the bulk of the main eventers no longer in the title picture, not putting the title on him would make less sense. Especially when it was all supposed to lead to him passing the torch to Hart – in turn boosting his credibility. DUD

BUExperience: This WrestleMania was considered a commercial failure, drawing less than any WrestleMania before it (though better numbers than they would see until 1998), and given the promotion, that’s not surprising. Hart and Yokozuna’s main event wasn’t a properly developed feud to sell the show on, and Hogan’s return for a tag match felt more like a step down for him than a proper return.

The show has earned a reputation as one of the worst WrestleManias – and understandably, as it was a really underwhelming show, filled with lousy finishes from top to bottom. While I enjoyed the show as a kid (and still do in some ways – especially the venue), it certainly wasn’t a well booked show. Out of nine matches, there were only three clean finishes (and that could even be argued as only two, since Luger’s pinfall victory over Perfect involved a referee missing a rope break), which doesn’t really work when booking the biggest blowoff show of the year. Nothing was settled here – everything got the ‘this isn’t over’ treatment. I mean, come on! It’s WrestleMania! It isn’t the buildup show – it’s the show. Grow a pair, and put guys over. *