WWF WrestleMania VII

In the days before WrestleMania was guaranteed to sell out massive stadiums every year, the success of the show still heavily relied on the product itself – as well as the state of the wrestling business. With the Golden Age dead, and wrestling in an undeniable slump during the early 1990s, Vince McMahon made the grievous error of deciding to run his flagship show at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum – coolly estimating 100,000 people would turn out for the event.

After a year of business declining, hoping to ensure success, McMahon put his most bankable star (Hulk Hogan) in the main event, and ran a hot (though still controversial) angle where American hero Sgt. Slaughter turned heel, becoming an Iraqi sympathizer during the first Gulf War. Unfortunately, days before the show, tens of thousands of tickets remained unsold (the building was booked over a year in advance – promotion beginning as far back at WrestleMania VI – but only some 15,000 actual seats had sold), so, citing ‘security concerns’, the WWF moved WrestleMania to the smaller Sports Arena.

From Los Angeles, California; Your Hosts are Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan (with Regis Philbin, Alex Trebek, and Marla Maples as WrestleMania ‘guest hosts’ – doing various backstage duties). Willie Nelson sings America the Beautiful to kick things off.


Opening Match: The Rockers v Haku and The Barbarian: The Rockers were in limbo at this point - their tag title push halted, and the breakup still months away. Shawn Michaels tries to use his speed to evade Haku, but gets caught pretty quickly, and whipped around. He comes back with a diving shoulderblock out of a criss cross, and tags Marty Jannetty for a double-team - only for Barbarian to run in and clobber them both at the same time with a clothesline (sold with duel 360 flips). The dust settles on Marty and Barbarian, and Marty hits a rana (assisted by a dropkicking Michaels) for two, but Barbarian slaps him in the face, and passes back to Haku for a double-headbutt. The Rockers try the assisted rana spot again to turn things around, but Barbarian cuts Shawn off this time, and turns it into a vicious looking assisted stungun. The heels cut the ring in half with well paced power stuff, but Barbarian misses a flying headbutt, and there's the tag to Shawn! House of arson - a four-way brawl breaking out - and the Rockers finishing Haku with a missile dropkick/flying bodypress combo at 10:33. Fun, well paced opener, with lots of nice double-team work. **

Dino Bravo v The Texas Tornado: Bravo jumps Tornado (Kerry Von Erich) as he climbs through the ropes, and dumps him to the floor for some abuse. He ends up getting atomic dropped on the way in, but dodges the clawhold, and returns the favor with an inverted atomic drop for two. Sidewalk slam only gets two (it was Bravo's finisher), and a 2^nd rope axehandle doesn't do much better - ending with Tornado getting him in the claw, and finishing with the Discus Punch at 3:11. TV-stuff, but Bravo was on the way out, and they were still trying to get some mileage out of Von Erich at this point. ¾*

Davey Boy Smith v The Warlord: The issue here is whether or not Davey is strong enough to power out of Warlord's Full-Nelson finisher. Not surprisingly, a power-showdown to start - ending with Davey shoulderblocking him to the floor. He regroups, and comes in unloading axehandles, and drops Davey like a Samoan off of a crucifix attempt. Series of elbowdrops get two, and he hugs him like a bear - but Davey gets uppity, and stungunned for two. Chinlock, but Davey powers into a standing dropkick, and hits a bodypress for two. Piledriver, but Warlord backdrops, so Davey counters into a sunset flip for two. Blind charge misses, however, and Warlord slaps on the Full-Nelson - but he can't get the fingers locked! Davey manages to power out, and into his Running Powerslam for the pin at 8:14. Decent, if a bit plodding. Despite the clean victory, this feud continued for the rest of the year - neither guy having anything better to do, assumably. *

WWF Tag Team Title Match: The Hart Foundation v The Nasty Boys: The Nasties were the new hot team in 1990 - getting a strong push upon their debut in WCW, before quickly taking the better money, and jumping to the WWF a few months before this – just in time to get a tag title push over the dissolving Hart Foundation. Bret Hart starts with Jerry Sags, and Sags quickly turns it into a brawl to dominate Hart - only to get caught with a Thesz press out of a criss cross, and get mounted for a series of closed fists. He tries to bail, but gets slingshot back in for a low blow before Bret allows him to bail for Brian Knobs. He wants Jim Neidhart, however, and the champs happily oblige - Neidhart destroying him with shoulderblocks. He tries an armbar, but Knobs drives him into the wrong part of town, and the challengers double-team. Tag back to Bret for a ten-punch on Sags, and a Russian legsweep sets up the 2^nd rope elbowdrop for two - when Knobs breaks it up. The cheap shot from him allows the Nasties to cut the ring in half (working the back), until Hart manages to electric chair Knobs out of a reverse chinlock, and Neidhart comes in hot. Powerslam gets two on Knobs - triggering a four-way - with the Foundation creaming Knobs with the Hart Attack. Nasty manager (and former Hart manager) Jimmy Hart gets involved, however, and one shot with the Nasties' motorcycle helmet later, we have new champions at 12:10. As noted, this was pretty much the last hurrah for the Foundation - Bret finally breaking off for his long-awaited singles run. The Nasties' restholdy heat segment was a little dull, but decent stuff otherwise, and well booked. * ¼

Blindfold Match: Jake Roberts v Rick Martel: The gimmick here is that both men wear hoods, as Martel had blinded Roberts with a spritz of his signature perfume in the fall of 1990 - and despite Roberts' recovery - the punishment had to fit the crime. Oh, and punishing it was, as both guys have to play it 'blind' (the hoods were gimmicked - they could see), and spend the match 'blindly' pointing around, playing 'hot/cold' off of the crowd reactions. Lots of comedy bits with Martel missing moves, or frustrating bits like Jake JUST missing him - until he catches him with the DDT for the pin at 8:33. Not really a satisfyingly intense blowoff (hell, quite a bit was played for straight comedy), but it kept the crowd engaged, that's for sure. They really should have booked a regular match here - gimmick matches are like fetish porn. Yeah, it's fun sometimes, but you don't want to lose sight of what you're there for to begin with, because before you know it, you're wearing weird blindfolds, and walking around Los Angeles at night. DUD

The Undertaker v Jimmy Snuka: 'Taker destroys him off the bat, and hits the jumping clothesline before getting ChokeMania into full swing. Suplex, but an elbowdrop misses, and Snuka tries a series of headbutts to comeback - only to miss a blind charge into the ropes, and go toppling to the floor. He tries a slingshot coming back in, but 'Taker catches him, and the Tombstone finishes at 4:19 - officially starting what would become a hallmark (and often in recent years, selling point) of WrestleMania mythology. Nothing match, but certainly historically significant. ¼*

Retirement Match: Randy Savage v The Ultimate Warrior: After all the cheap shots, after all the promos, after all the titles cost - it all comes down to this. In a nice touch to highlight the significance of the stipulations, Warrior calmly walks to the ring, instead of blowing himself up by sprinting before a twenty minute match. Lots of posturing in the early going - Savage trying to use his speed advantage, but getting repeatedly clobbered. Savage manager Sherri finally tries to interfere, but Warrior shrugs her off, too, and keeps walloping Savage - getting him tied in the ropes. Backdrop, but Savage lifts his boot, and hits a hangman's clothesline to follow-up. Flying bodypress, but Warrior catches him in midair - only to put him down on his feet for an insulting slap to the face. Savage flips out, going to the floor for a chair, but Warrior keeps unloading - Savage bumping around like a rubber ball. Macho finally manages to dodge a blind charge to send Warrior flying to the floor, and he follows out with a flying axehandle. Into the post for good measure, and back inside, a kneedrop gets two. Neckbreaker, but Warrior counters into a backslide for two - so Savage responds by firing a long distance spit wad right in his face. Unfortunately, Warrior's saliva defenses are impenetrable - but his 'fall flat on my face' systems are down, and he goes crashing to the mat on a diving shoulderblock attempt. Chinlock, but Warrior powers out, and they work a double knockout spot. Warrior tries an inside cradle for two, but gets caught with a high knee - the referee getting clobbered in the process. That brings Sherri in for a cheap shot, but she misses coming off of the top, and Warrior gives chase - the distraction allowing Savage to schoolboy him for two. Bodyslam gets two, and the Flying Elbowdrop hits. Not satisfied, Savage goes back up for a second. And a third. And a fourth. And a fifth! - but it only gets a super dramatic two count! Savage, Sherri, the crowd, the announcers, and even Donald Trump in the front row are shocked - but Warrior's busy BLOWING UP!! Fists of Fury! Series of Clotheslines! Press Slam! Splash! TWO?!? Now it's Warrior's turn to freak out - though he doesn't take the finisher kickout as well as Savage - actually turning the heavens to question God over it. He gets so discouraged, he starts talking to his hands about destiny (not unlike a burned out hippie might), and decides to head home - as obviously he'd done something to upset the Gods, and needed to fly back to his home planet to make peace. Meanwhile, Savage is crawling around half dead through all of it, before bashing Warrior as he hand-rambles on the ring apron. Flying axehandle, but Warrior sidesteps, and Randy goes crashing into the rail - Warrior taking it as a sign from the heavens to go back to work. Diving shoulderblock puts Savage on the floor, as do three more - with Warrior dragging him in between each - before finally pinning him with one foot on atop his chest at 20:46 - sending Savage on a 'summer vacation' before getting reinstated later in the year. Afterwards, Sherri takes her frustrations out on the fallen Macho Man - literally kicking him while he's down - until suddenly, Elizabeth (sitting in the front row) jumps the rail, and shockingly saves Savage, sending Sherri flying in the process. Randy doesn't know what to make of it, but after some soul searching, embraces his long lost love - triggering a massive ovation from the crowd, and legitimate tears from both Elizabeth and many of the fans. Randy holds her up on his shoulders for one last victory lap around the ring, and then - in the best touch of all - dramatically (finally!) holds the ropes open for his lady. Absolutely perfect. This remains one of my favorite matches (and angles) of all time - Savage losing, but scooping up Warrior's heat in the process, and 'ending his career' on a poignant note - the kind of brilliant emotional moment films have a tough time pulling off, let alone wrestling matches. Truly epic stuff, Savage absolutely killing himself to put Warrior over (between his selling, the insane five big elbows, and getting pinned with one foot across his chest), this remains one of the more exciting matches in WrestleMania history – adding to the legend of the Ultimate Warrior, and a beautiful story of redemption for the Macho Man character. **** 

Demolition v Genichiro Tenryu and Koji Kitao: This is coming off of intermission - and entire rows of the crowd are still in the bathroom (or getting themselves together after Warrior/Savage), this insignificant match the wrestling equivalent to flashing the lights in the auditorium lobby. The Demos work Kitao over with double-team stuff, but Smash misses a blind charge, and a four-way breaks out as the Demos try to crush Tenryu with the Decapitator - and Tenryu powerbombs Smash for the pin at 4:43. This was pretty much the last notable appearance of Demolition - sadly getting jobbed out to cross-promotional guys. ¼*

WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Mr. Perfect v Big Bossman: Perfect (and the Heenan Family) had spent months hurling insults at Bossman's mother to set this up - Bossman going through every member of the Family Kill Bill-style, before finally getting to champion Perfect. Unfortunately, the psychological effects were too much for Bossman to handle, and he'd end up doing the same thing to the Big Show eight years later - even going so far as to dig up the guys corpse, and drag it from the back of his car. Spitting match to start, until Bossman triggers a Perfect oversell with an uppercut. Hairpull slam and a clothesline trigger some more overselling, and Bossman pitches him over the top to put an exclamation point on it. Bossman gets off a few shots with his belt for good measure, but Perfect gets hold of it to return the favor - and turn the tide. Chinlock slows Bossman down, and an abdominal stretch looks for a submission - Bobby Heenan telling the time keeper to get the bell ready. No dice, so Perfect gives him a necksnap, and tries for the Perfectplex - but gets cradled for two. Another necksnap gets two, but a flying splash runs into a big boot on the way down, and Bossman crotches him on the ringpost. Heenan distracts him enough for Perfect to dump into the steps, but that draws out Andre the Giant (in his first major appearance since turning face on Heenan at WrestleMania VI) to keep Bobby out of things. Perfect objects, however, so Andre wallops him, and we have a double knockout. Heenan's full-on flipping out at this point (about thirty seconds away from talking to his hands, too, by the looks of things), and beckons Family members Haku and Barbarian out - and that's a disqualification at 10:45. Perfect's selling was entertaining as always, and Andre's involvement was fun - but the cheap, overbooked ending didn't work for me. ¾*

Greg Valentine v Earthquake: Earthquake destroys him in the corner early, and hits a powerslam for two, but misses a blind charge, and gets hammered with elbowsmashes. 2^nd rope version puts Earthquake on his back, and he goes for the Figure Four, but 'Quake manager Jimmy Hart gets involved, and the buttsplash finishes things at 3:17. Valentine was strictly enhancement talent by this point - just a TV-squash here. DUD

The Legion of Doom v Power and Glory: P&G try to jump LOD at the bell, but they start no-selling, and finish Paul Roma with the Doomsday Device at 0:58. Much like the Hart Foundation the year before, the quickie squash signaled a tag title push for SummerSlam. DUD

Ted DiBiase v Virgil: Roddy Piper (on crutches) stands in Virgil's corner - acting as his trainer during the buildup. DiBiase shrugs Virgil off, but walks into a flurry of jabs, and ends up sucking wind on the floor. Back inside, DiBiase tries to box him, but Virgil's from the streets yo (which they emphasize in a contrived high five with Piper), and Ted ends up back on the outside. He makes the referee frisk him for knux to stall for time, but he finds nothing, and Virgil goes back to work. DiBiase manages to get a droptoe-hold to wrestle Virgil to the mat, and blasts him with a backelbow. Clothesline and a piledriver get two, and a suplex for two. Gutwrench suplex gets two, and it spills to the floor for DiBiase to shove over the hobbled Piper. Inside, with a powerslam, but Piper gets involved with the crutch, and DiBiase gets counted out while dealing with him at 7:37. Afterwards, Piper goes ballistic with the crutch, until Sherri (in all her gold digging glory) saves him - becoming his manager in the process. While a definitive blowoff would have been nice, Virgil was pretty much dead in the water after the DiBiase feud, so prolonging the blowoff for SummerSlam was actually logical booking. DiBiase worked hard here, but this was extremely disjointed, before the cheap ending. ½*

Tito Santana v The Mountie: Big criss cross ends in Santana hitting the diving forearm right away, but Mountie gets hold of his taser, and that finishes Tito (ya think?) at 1:20. They're obviously running low on time here, and this show needs to go home. DUD

Main Event: WWF Title Match: Sgt. Slaughter v Hulk Hogan: Alex Trebek is the guest ring announcer, Marla Maples acts as the guest time keeper, and Regis Philbin sits in on commentary for the battle of the baldies! Slaughter tries to run at the bell, but the referee forces them to showdown, and they have an intense battle over the initial lockup - ending in Hogan shoving him across the ring. Side-headlock ends in Hogan folding him up like an accordion with a shoulderblock, but he gets walloped with a chair as they spill to the outside. Not that he bothers selling it, or anything - but it happened. Slaughter cowers in the corner, but Hogan gets overconfident (Hulk Hogan? No!), and has his eyes gouged. Slaughter hammers away, but Hulk dodges an elbowdrop, and a clothesline drops the champion to his knees. Atomic drop gets two, and another clothesline for two. Backdrop, and a high knee allow Hogan to fire him into the post with a slingshot, and he mounts the champ with punches. Cross corner clothesline, and a ten-punch count get two, so Hogan tries a 2^nd rope axehandle. Series of elbowdrops, and Hulk goes up again - this time all the way to the top - but General Adnan hooks his leg, and Slaughter slams him off. Back to the floor, Slaughter finally gets to have his fun with the chair, and chokes the Hulkster with an electrical cable for good measure. No! Lack of oxygen is Hulkamania's Kryptonite! Backbreaker leaves Hogan on the mat for a Boston crab - but the world champion stupidly hooks it about two inches from the ropes. Even goofier is that the challenger (and multi-time former champion), wastes precious time and energy trying to power out before simply sliding his hand over (not even needing to fully extend his arm to reach) for the ropes. Slaughter with a flying stomp to the back, but the referee's caught up arguing with Adnan (Seriously?! Your guy has the pin, and you want to have a chat with the referee NOW?), so Slaughter bops him with the chair again - this time busting the Hulkster open. Camel Clutch to finish, but Hogan powers up - so Slaughter rams him into the corner to knock him out. He covers him with the Iraqi flag to rub it in before covering, but the very thought of countries other than America triggers a HULK UP!! Iraqi Flag Ripping! Fists of Fury! Big Boot! Legdrop! 20:23! They were going for an epic in the style of Hogan's main event with Ultimate Warrior the year before, but didn't quite get there. Still, a well booked, psychologically sound effort overall - and a nice, definitive blowoff that should have ended the Slaughter angle - though, unfortunately, he kept feuding with Hogan through the end of summer. Slaughter, for his part, sold wonderfully - but Hogan (despite the bladejob), didn't really make him look like much of a threat. **

BUExperience: Like many of the early WrestleMania’s, this one suffers from too much filler – especially during the second half – dragging quite a bit by the time the main event rolls around. Not a particularly well remembered WrestleMania (it mostly comes up in discussions of the venue change, and Gulf War angle controversy), but Savage/Warrior is more than enough to carry the undercard on its own (along with the extracurricular activities, it takes up a good chunk of the show), and the main event is old school fun in the Hogan v Evil Foreign Heel tradition that sold many a WWF card during the 1980s. Not enough here (or, too much – depending on how you look at it) to truly make it a worth sitting through, but certainly not a total stinker. *