WWE No Mercy (October 2005)

Original Airdate: October 9, 2005

From Houston, Texas; Your Hosts are Michael Cole and Tazz

Opening Six-Person Tag Team Match: Christy Hemme and The Legion of Doom v MNM: Johnny Nitro gets destroyed by the LOD to start, but Animal misses a cross corner charge, and injures his already taped up left shoulder. Nitro tags out to Joey Mercury, and they proceed to cut the ring in half while beating on the shoulder. Animal manages to catches Joey with a powerslam during a flying bodypress attempt, and we have tags to Hemme and Melina. Hemme and Animal give her a bearhug/hangman's clothesline combo, and the Doomsday Device finishes her off at 6:25. Hemme was an absolutely atrocious worker (like, she had three spots to do here, and messed them all up), but the crowd loved it. DUD

Bobby Lashley v Simon Dean: Dean says that if Lashley can win, he will eat twenty cheeseburgers tonight. And, he helpfully has brought said burgers with him, just in case. What a major lack of confidence on Dean's part. I mean, if you're really confident that you're going to win, you'd never go out and actually buy the twenty hamburgers. Not the mention, if you do win, that's a huge waste of food! Though, it turns out his lack of confidence is totally justified, as Lashley destroys him in short order (like the short order cook who made all them burgers!), finishing with the Dominator at 1:55. DUD

WWE United States Title Fatal Four-Way Match: Chris Benoit v Orlando Jordan v Booker T v Christian: First fall wins. Big brawl to start, with the whites fighting the blacks. That goes better for the blacks, but they quickly turn on each other, and Jordan doubles up on Booker with Christian. Jordan and Booker wearing nearly identical gear was a poor choice on someone’s part. Booker and Christian spill to the floor, allowing Benoit to slap the Crippler Crossface on Jordan, but Christian saves. Chris responds by suplexing both of them, and he schoolboys Christian for two. Sharpshooter, but Orlando breaks it up, so Booker sails in with a missile dropkick, as Chris overhead suplexes Christian out of the ring. Booker grabs Jordan with a sunset cradle for two, and a spinebuster gets two. Axekick for two - count broken by Christian. He puts the boots to Booker, but Benoit saves, and delivers a two-alarm rolling German suplex. Orlando saves Christian from the third alarm, but gets tossed out of the ring by Benoit, and he goes right back after Christian to finish his thought with the third alarm. Nice. Another three-alarm rolling German sets up the flying headbutt, but Christian dodges, and tries an Oklahoma roll - only to get countered to the Crossface! Jordan saves, but Booker takes him out - allowing Benoit to put Christian in the sharpshooter to retain at 10:22. Nothing technically 'wrong' with it, it was just one of those cases where there's so much going on at once that nothing registers. * ¼

Hardcore Holly v Mr. Kennedy: Kennedy hides out on the apron at the bell, so Holly uses the top rope as a slingshot to bring him in hardway, then vertical suplexes him for one. Holly with a dropkick, and he goes to work with chops in the corner, but gets run into the post on the outside, and Kennedy takes over. Kennedy with a series of short-shoulderblocks and a side suplex for two, followed by an armbar. Holly escapes with an armdrag, but gets leveled with a lariat for two before he can regroup, and Kennedy drops him with a single-arm DDT for two. Back to the armbar, but Holly escapes with a backdrop, and this time is able to follow-up with a pair of backelbows. Holly with a full-nelson slam for two, and a pair of corner clotheslines leads to a somersault cradle for two. Big boot gets two, but Kennedy crotches him on the top rope, and brings him down with the Green Bay Plunge at 8:50. Decent, but it was a total house show match. *

John Bradshaw Layfield v Rey Mysterio: Bradshaw tries talking down to Rey, but the little guy flips out, and starts unloading with quick jabs and kicks. He's like a human Ted! Bradshaw manages to take him down in a headlock, but Rey escapes, and sticks and moves - managing to knock Bradshaw out of the ring. Rey forces him into a long chase to try and tire him out, then blasts him with a baseball slide while he's sucking wind. For all that smarts, he stupidly then turns his back, and gets clobbered. Bradshaw with a swinging neckbreaker, but Rey catches him with a dropkick to the knee, and a somersault stunner gets two. Mysterio keeps after the leg to try and take the wheels away from the big guy, and executes a headscissor takedown to setup the 619, but Bradshaw rolls to the floor to dodge. Rey goes after him with a flying bulldog off the apron, but eats steps as he tries to climb back in. Inside, that gets Bradshaw two, and he hammers Rey in the corner before giving him a fallaway slam off the top rope to grow on. Bradshaw's gut flab is a thing of wonder here. I know he's playing a rich businessman, but there's committing to the gimmick, and then there's just being a fatty. I mean, Terry Taylor had a rooster gimmick once, but it didn't stop him from working out, you know? Another fallaway slam, then a third delivered on the floor get two. He's shocked, but dude, come on! It's a FALLAWAY SLAM! I mean, it's a cool move, but Scott Hall used to use it as a simple transition spot. If he had at least done the full rotation and turned it into a blockbuster, then maybe. Bearhug, but Rey escapes with a tornado DDT, and starts sticking and moving again. Bodypress and a seated dropkick batter Bradshaw, and a sloppy rana sets up a bronco buster. Cue Jillian Hall (and her insanely short skirt) for a distraction, but Bradshaw eats turnbuckle anyway, and Mysterio hits a flying moonsault press for two. Dropkick sets up the 619, but Bradshaw ducks the follow-up, and kills him with the Clothesline from Wall Street at 13:24. This really should have been a lot more fun than it actually was. * ½

Handicap Casket Match: The Undertaker v Randy Orton and Bob Orton: Undertaker fights them both off with relative ease, so Cowboy Bob blows him low, and Randy quickly follows up with a kneedrop. The Orton's go to work, and it spills to the floor, where Randy manages to whip him into the steps. Undertaker does a really good job of selling as the Orton's continue to pound away in dull fashion, but manages to escape the casket before they can close it. I should note at this point that we're some five minutes into this match, and no one has done anything other than punch or kick. No, wait, Randy did do that kneedrop, sorry. Undertaker hits Randy with the ropewalk forearm and a reverse STO, then gives Bob a ropewalk forearm, but Randy crotches him on the top to save. It's kinda funny to watch the Orton's working together, as Bob just keeps getting in his son's way with his slower stuff, and Randy keeps having to stop mid-move to accommodate. They do manage a tandem superplex to bring Undertaker down off the top, and Bob covers, but there's no pinfalls, of course. They try a tandem vertical suplex into the casket, but Undertaker counters with a double-DDT, and he drops Randy with a snake-eyes and a big boot. Tombstone, but Randy escapes, so Undertaker settles for a clothesline instead. Back to the Tombstone, but Randy counters with an inverted headlock backbreaker, as papa Bob brings a fire extinguisher into things. Undertaker kicks him in the face before he can use it, however, then beats Randy into the casket with a chair. He slaps a weird triangle choke on the apron to get Bob into the box as well, but takes a ridiculously exposing amount of time to close the lid, and Randy fights him off. Back into the ring, Randy powerslams him, and Undertaker sells it like he's been shot - going completely comatose. From a single powerslam? Guy really needs to find a happy medium. Randy can't get him into the casket since Bob is still in there, however, and Undertaker gives him a hellacious low blow. That was nasty. Jumping clothesline, but Randy uses a well timed dropkick to counter, then delivers an inverted ten-punch count. You know what, that's a fucking AWESOME bit of psychology! I mean, how many times do we see someone try a ten-punch on Undertaker, and get powerbombed? Try 'every time.' Randy then completely negates the breezy by doing a standard ten-punch, and yep, he gets powerbombed. See, this is what happens when you pause to praise Randy Orton. Bites you in the damn ass every damn time. Tombstone into the casket, but Bob pops out with the fire extinguisher, and blinds Undertaker for Randy to RKO - the Orton's getting Undertaker into the casket at 19:06. And then, afterwards, the Orton's set fire to the casket for good measure, ala Royal Rumble 1998. Well, lucky that fire extinguisher is nearby, eh? Not a good match by any means (BY ANY MEANS), but kind of entertaining in a perverse, train wreck sort of way. However, whoever booked this to run that long should be fucked in the ear by a big black cock with no lube for nineteen minutes and six seconds. ½*

WWE Cruiserweight Title Match: Nunzio v Juventud: Juventud surprises him with a quick schoolboy for two, followed by a backslide for two, and a magistral cradle for two. Nunzio knees him and hooks an inside cradle for two, and they trade a few bodypresses before the sequence ends in a stalemate. Criss cross goes Juventud's way with a big boot, and he follows up with a headscissors takedown for two. Scrapbuster across the knee gets two, but Nunzio knocks him off the top rope when he tries following up, and makes a lateral press for two. Bow-and-arrow, but Juventud escapes with a sunset flip for two. Nunzio puts him down with a Russian legsweep for two, and a facebuster off the top gets two - Juventud rolling through for a two count of his own. Juventud goes at him with a spinheel kick, and adds a seated dropkick for two. Shining wizard and a tilt-a-whirl facebuster get two, but a flying bodypress gets rolled through for two. One last reversal sequence, and the Juvi Driver finishes to crown a new champion at 6:50. This was quite a lot of stuff packed into a short match - very reminiscent of the Cruiserweight matches WCW used to run on Nitro ten years earlier. ** ½

Main Event: World Heavyweight Title Match: Batista v Eddie Guerrero: Eddie knows he's outsized here, and immediately shoots for the leg to take Batista down, but the champ fights him off before he can slap a hold on. Eddie manages a fireman's carry takedown for two, but gets caught in a test-of-strength that doesn't go well. He wisely climbs the ropes in the hold to get a leverage advantage, but it backfires when Batista slams him down off the top. Eddie bails to the outside to regroup, but gets caught in a side-headlock on the way back in. Eddie claws his way out, and dodges a cross corner charge, but still ends up in another headlock before he can capitalize. Batista with a pair of bodyslams for two, and Eddie wisely rolls to the floor again to break the momentum. He thinks about grabbing a chair, but ultimately decides not to give in to his heelish nature. Batista thanks him for it with a choke, but Guerrero manages to snap his throat across the top rope to block, and quickly follows up with the Frogsplash for two. Guerrero grounds the champion with a bodyscissors, but Batista is so big and strong that he powers to a vertical base in the hold, and dumps Eddie into the corner to break. He's still dazed, however, so Eddie manages to take him down with a dropkick, and he keeps him grounded with a half-crab. Batista makes the ropes instead of powering up this time, and Eddie digs the progress. He looks to finish by grabbing a piece of loose metal off the turnbuckle, but like the chair, ultimately discards it instead of heeling up. He settles for a dropkick to setup a chinlock/bodyscissors combo, but Batista powers to his feet to counter with a bearhug. Eddie escapes and dropkicks the knee to setup the Lasso from El Paso, but Batista counters with an inside cradle for two. Guerrero swipes at the back to neutralize any comeback, and manages a DDT during a reversal sequence - though he bumps the referee in the process. With the referee down, Eddie can't help but think about cheating again, and grabs a chair. With a smile on his face he prepares to blast Batista with it, but does the Roddy Piper routine from WrestleMania VIII, and discards it. And, as Piper learned the hardway so does Eddie - big mistake! Batista fires at him with shots in the corner, and a cross corner clothesline is followed by a backdrop. Spear hits, but Eddie counters the Batista Bomb with a sunset flip - the champ countering back with a spinebuster for two. Elbowdrop gets countered when Guerrero lifts his knees to block, and he capitalizes with a three-alarm rolling vertical suplex. Frogsplash looks to finish, but Batista dodges, and delivers another spinebuster to retain at 18:40. Very solid match, with Guerrero bringing a lot of psychology to the table, and getting a much more interesting match out of Batista than the stuff Triple H and Bradshaw were doing with him. This was also Eddie's last pay per view appearance before his untimely death the next month, so it was nice to see him go out with a strong performance in a main event match, at least. *** ¼

BUExperience: It’s got the historical significance of being Eddie Guerrero’s last pay per view appearance, but outside of the very good main event, nothing on the show is really worth bothering to check out.

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