NWA (JCP) Bunkhouse Stampede 1988 (Version II)

Original Airdate: January 24, 1988

From Uniondale, New York; Your Hosts are Jim Ross and Bob Caudle

Opening NWA Television Title Match: Nikita Koloff v Bobby Eaton: Bobby tries to muscle Nikita into the corner for some abuse, but that ends badly for him. Fighting for an overhead wristlock goes equally poorly. We're only three minutes in, and the super slow, super plodding pace is already telegraphing a time limit draw here. Koloff grabs a hammerlock on the mat, so Bobby rakes the eyes, and literally kicks him out of the ring. Brawl on the floor goes the challenger's way with another eyerake, and he slaps on a mat-based side-headlock as they re-enter. Koloff powers out with a bodyslam, but Eaton re-applies the headlock before he can follow-up. Koloff tries powering up again, so Bobby throws a cheap shot to knock the champ to the outside, but gets reversed into the post. Koloff capitalizes by ramming him shoulder-first into the post a second time, followed by a hiptoss on the exposed floor. Bobby rakes the eyes to cutoff the comeback, however, and a snapmare on the way back in sets up an elbowdrop for two. He grabs a hammerlock, and throws another cheap shot when Koloff tries escaping, then blasts him with a missile dropkick for two before going back to the hammerlock. The layout of this match is fine (Koloff powering Eaton around, with Bobby cheating to cut him off every time, then grounding him in holds), but they're just taking way too long on the mat each time. Like, each hammerlock or headlock has been running about three times as long as necessary in order to stretch time. Koloff finally escapes and nails him with a Russian Sickle before Bobby can take a cheap shot, but Nikita is dazed, and can't follow-up - allowing Eaton a single-arm DDT to take it back to the mat for another extended hammerlock. Bobby cuts off yet another comeback with yet another single-arm DDT into yet another hammerlock, but now Koloff just starts no-selling. Ten-punch count in the corner bashes Bobby, and Nikita blasts him with the Sickle - only for time to expire at 20:00. Who books a twenty minute draw to open a show - especially one with as little going on as this one did? Really dull stuff here, though Eaton was working really hard to get heat on the bigger Koloff. ½* (Original rating: – ½*)

NWA Western States Heritage Title Match: Barry Windham v Larry Zbyszko: Barry tosses him around to start, so Larry bails and stalls. Inside, Zbyszko manages a leglock, but Windham quickly escapes, and dodges a dropkick. Is it me, or does Baby Doll look a lot like Whitney Cummings, only with blonde hair? Zbyszko tries a standing hammerlock, but Windham escapes with a fireman's carry, and executes an atomic drop to send his challenger to the floor. Back in, Larry grabs another leglock, then shifts into a toehold when Barry tries escaping. Windham breaks with an enzuigiri, and he follows with a powerslam for two. Bodyslam sets up a flying elbowdrop, but Larry moves, and Barry wipes out. Larry goes back to the toehold, as I realize that their rhyming names make me feel like I'm writing a children's book. The Wonderful Stall-Tales of Larry and Barry! Windham tries another enzuigiri, but now Zbyszko is ready for it, and delivers a backbreaker for two. Chinlock, but Windham uses a side suplex to escape, so Zbyszko catches him with a drop-toehold, and hangs onto it on the mat. Barry fights free and throws a dropkick at his challenger, but the leg gives out during a vertical suplex - Windham hitting it, but not getting all of it. Gutwrench suplex gets him two, and Barry grabs a sleeper, but Larry's in the ropes, and he bails to hear what Whitney has to say. Probably something mildly funny. Windham attacks on the floor, but gets reversed into the post out there, and Larry keeps blocking him from climbing back in. Um, Lar, you realize HE'S the champion here, right? Maybe have Bruno go over that chapter again for you. Windham manages to crotch him on the post, but Zbyszko dodges a lariat on the way back in, and Barry bumps back out to the floor off it. He tries a slingshot sunset flip on the way back in, but Larry blocks for two. Swinging neckbreaker, but Windham counters with a backslide for two. Larry tries a piledriver, but Barry counters with a backdrop. That leads to a criss cross that results in a double-knockout spot, and Zbyszko misses a knee in the corner as they recover. That allows Windham a ten-punch, but the referee gets bumped as he goes for the pin - allowing Zbyszko to grab Whitney's shoe, and knock Barry out with it to win the title at 19:16. Guess she didn't appreciate Windham not laughing at her jokes. If nothing else, it's easily the best Western States Heritage Title match ever contested on pay per view, that much is for sure. ** (Original rating: DUD)

NWA World Title Match: Ric Flair v Hawk: Flair sizes up his challenger in the early going, but gets caught in a standing side-headlock. Ric tries escaping with some chops, but Hawk completely no-sells them, and Flair bails. Back in, Ric gets press-slammed, and he rolls back out to regroup, but this time Hawk gets impatient, and drags him back in for another press-slam. Headbutt sets up some mud hole stomping in the corner, and a dropkick sets up a fistdrop. Hawk launches Flair with a hiptoss, but that puts enough distance between them that Ric can finally escape to the outside for a breather. Hawk brings him back in with a vertical suplex, and slaps on a bearhug. Ric throws some more chops in desperation, but Hawk ignores him, and hits a jumping shoulderblock to send the champion back to the outside. The challenger follows this time, so Ric tries ramming him into the rail, but Hawk no-sells that, so Ric takes a more direct approach: hitting him in the balls. Can't beat the classics, and it works. Ric follows up by raking the eyes for good measure, and a snapmare sets up a kneedrop for two. Ric dumps him to the outside for several whips into the rail, then leaves him out there to eat the countout, but Hawk makes it in. Ric is ready with a flying axehandle, and another snapmare sets up another kneedrop for two. Stick with what works, I suppose. Hawk fights back with a neckbreaker, but a fistdrop misses, and Ric pounces on the leg. He starts pounding the knee, and makes sure to stop and drive another shot right into the balls in case the challenger is even THINKING about getting uppity, and no-selling. Figure Four looks to finish, but Hawk manages to reverse. Flair's in the ropes to escape, but a trip to the top rope ends with him getting slammed down. Lariat takes out Flair, but also creams the referee in the process. Hawk stays in control by ramming Flair into the post a few times on the floor to draw the obligatory bladejob, and inside, he hits a powerslam. Still no referee though, so Hawk keeps after him with a cross corner whip and a clothesline, followed by a superplex. Still no referee, so JJ Dillon marches in with a chair, and blasts the challenger. That gets no-sold, but as Hawk strangles Dillon in the corner, Ric grabs the chair, and bops him with it for two. Flair goes berserk and tries a hanging vertical suplex, but Hawk no-sells, and delivers a ten-punch count. Fistdrop follows, so Flair grabs the chair again, and whacks Hawk with it in full view of the referee to trigger a disqualification at 22:40. The usual Flair/big stiff formula match, with Flair doing 90% of the work to make Hawk look like a beast. ** ¼ (Original rating: **)

Main Event: Bunkhouse Stampede Match: Winner gets $500,000. And, yes, it's a battle royal contested inside of a steel cage, with the only way to be eliminated to be thrown out of the cage. And, yes, that is fucking insane. We've got: Dusty Rhodes, Barbarian, Arn Anderson, Tully Blanchard, Lex Luger, Animal, Ivan Koloff, and The Warlord. And what can you say here, really? It's the usual battle royal fare, only inside of a cage. Oh, and everyone's dressed in 'bunkhouse' garb, which (if you're unfamiliar with this fashion trend) is basically standard issue Southern shit-kicker clothes. Like, just picture what you'd imagine someone driving a Ford Ranger through the backwoods of East Texas would wear, and there you go. After what feels like an eternity, it gets down to Dusty and Barbarian. Rhodes hammers him with elbowsmashes, so manager Paul Jones passes Barbarian a weapon - which seems kind of redundant in a steel cage battle royal. It works, though. Barbarian follows with a pair of flying headbutts – which seems like questionable strategy, given that a dead weight version of Dusty Rhodes is not going to be a joy at getting out of the cage. Even so, Barbarian very nearly does just that via the door, but Rhodes fights him off. They battle to the top rope, and Barbarian tries shoving him over the top of the cage. The wide angle reveals a ton of empty seats here (the building was only about one-third full), as well as a fat guy videotaping the match with a gigantic camcorder. How did people manage to sneak those in without anyone noticing back in the day? I mean, it's not like today where literally everyone is walking around with a high-def video camera in their pockets - those things were enormous! Anyway, Rhodes uses a few Bionic Elbow's to get it done at 26:20. Yeah. DUD (Original rating: DUD)

BUExperience: What a dull show! Loaded with guys who are primarily tag wrestlers engaged in overlong singles title matches, and capped off with one of the most contrived gimmick matches of all time. Not to mention there isn’t a single clean, decisive finish outside of the main event – and that barely even counts, since it’s a battle royal. It’s kind of interesting as a curiosity – but curiosity, well, that shit kills cats

DUD