WWF WrestleMania V (Version II)

Original Airdate: April 2, 1989

From Atlantic City, New Jersey; Your Hosts are Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura

Opening Match: Hercules v Haku: That story Scott Keith recently mentioned in his brilliant Observer Flashback series from this period about Haku getting drunk at a bar and demanding some girl 'bow down in servitude' to him as king, and then beating up her boyfriend when he objected gets this match an automatic extra half-star. Haku attacks from behind before the bell, and goes to work in the corner, but runs into a hiptoss and a bodyslam. Hercules with a flapjack before clotheslining Haku over the top, then vertical suplexing him back in for a pair of elbowdrops. Hercules is bringing the fire tonight. A distraction from Bobby Heenan on the outside allows Haku to sneak attack again, however, and he hits a two-alarm no-release backbreaker for two on the way back in. Bearhug allows them to have an extended spot call session on camera, and Haku jabs him in the throat when he tries to escape the hold. Hercules dodges a 2^nd rope bodypress, however, and starts mounting his comeback. Series of clotheslines and a powerslam get two, but a flying axehandle is countered with a superkick. Haku tries turning the tide with a nice 2^nd rope splash, but Hercules rolls out of the way, and bridging side suplexes him for the pin at 6:53. Solid opener here, both guys worked hard. And, for those who are going to e-mail me about it, no, I did not actually add a half-star. * (Original rating: *)

The Twin Towers v The Rockers: I'm kinda glad they didn't do Rockers/Brain Busters here, because it would have been depressing with this crowd. The Rockers lead them through a chase to start, until the dust settles on Big Boss Man and Shawn Michaels. Boss Man tries condescendingly putting him on the top turnbuckle, but gets nailed with a 2^nd rope dropkick, and the Rockers pinball him in the corner. Tag to Akeem, so Michaels challenges him to a dance-off, which pisses the big man off. He goes for Shawn, but ends up getting caught in the wrong corner, and the quicker Rockers work him over with a succession of quick tags. Marty Jannetty ends up getting sandwiched between the Towers, however, and they cut the ring in half on the Rocker. Another sandwich spot misses to allow the hot tag back to Shawn, and he's a crack-house of fire! The Rockers double-team Akeem, but Shawn loses a criss cross, and gets MURDERED with a clothesline. For those keeping track, that Shawn Michaels' first of many, many WrestleMania oversells. Boss Man tries to capitalize with a flying splash, but Shawn moves, and the Rockers start throwing double-teams again. Stereo missile dropkicks on Boss Man get two when Akeem saves, so Shawn tries a flying rana, but Boss Man counters with a powerbomb - passing to Akeem to finish with Air Africa at 8:05. This would have been a hotter way to open, but then you'd start the show with heels going over, so I understand why they didn't want to go that way. ** ¾ (Original rating: *)

Ted DiBiase v Brutus Beefcake: Ted showing the Million Dollar Belt off to Donald Trump at ringside before the bout has always been one of my favorite little moments. He tries to show it off to Brutus too, but that doesn't go so well, and DiBiase ends up regrouping out on the floor. Back in, Brutus catches him with a powerslam, then adds a pair of bodyslams before sending Ted back to the floor with a clothesline.  In again, Beefcake wins a slugfest, so Virgil hooks his ankle from the floor to trip him up, and DiBiase immediately capitalizes - choking the Barber down. Backelbow and a fistdrop get two, and a clothesline sets up a 2^nd rope axehandle. Brutus counters a backdrop with an inside cradle for two, and manages to reverse a vertical suplex, but can't quite turn the tide, and Ted delivers a vertical suplex of his own. Million Dollar Dream, but Beefcake makes the ropes, and reverses a turnbuckle smash to start his comeback effort. Sleeper, but Virgil interferes again, and they spill to the outside for a double countout at 10:00. Shitty ending, but a totally watchable match. * ¼ (Original rating: ¾*)

The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers v The Bushwhackers: Ah, fuck. Things had been going well in the first forty five minutes, too. The Rougeau's attack, but a triple-team with manager Jimmy Hart backfires, and the Bushwhackers clean house. Raymond Rougeau starts with Luke, and outsmarts him to take control. That's not saying much. He gets nailed with the Battering Ram anyway, and a double-team with Jacques Rougeau backfires. More comedy spots abound, until Luke ends up taking a nice cross corner whip, and the Brothers cut the ring in half. That features one of my all time favorite spots in history, as Raymond goes to bodyslam him, and Luke (either as a rib, or from simply being out of position) ends up vigorously stroking his crotch as the spot is executed. It's pretty awesome. They get too cocky, however, and the Bushwhackers execute another Battering Ram at 5:11. The Rougeau's tried, and it was short, but what a waste of a great team. DUD (Original rating: DUD)

Mr. Perfect v Blue Blazer: Are we sure that Dolph Ziggler isn't also Perfect's son? Criss cross to start, which Perfect wins with a hiptoss. He tries slapping him around in the corner, but that backfires, and Blazer plants him with a drop-toehold. Another hiptoss is countered with a pair of bodyslams, and Perfect does a brilliant over the top sell off a standing dropkick. Blazer goes after him with a baseball slide, and grabs an armbar on the way back in, but gets chopped in the corner. Blazer with another two bodyslams followed by another standing dropkick, and a backbreaker gets two. Northern lights suplex gets two, but a flying splash hits the knees - ouch! Perfect grabs a reverse chinlock, but Blazer blocks a corner charge, and front-powerslams him for two. Overhead suplex gets two, and a crucifix for two, but he stops to argue the count with the referee, and gets caught with the Perfect-Plex at 5:49. I used to be rather blown away by this one during my youth as a budding smark, but now, after having seen that Blazer was regularly working better matches on house shows and TV tapings during this period, this one is really rather disappointing. Well placed on the card, though. * ¾ (Original rating: **)

WWF Tag Team Title Handicap Match: Demolition v Mr. Fuji and The Powers of Pain: Talk about a feud that should have been WAY bigger than it turned out to be. Ax starts with Warlord, and evades him in the corner, then pounds him down. Smash tags in to snapmare him over for a chinlock, and Ax tags back in for a headvise. The champions work Warlord over in dull fashion, so the challengers try a triple-team in the corner than results in Barbarian tagging in, but getting clobbered with a bodyslam from Ax. Demolition cut the ring in half on Barbarian, but Ax runs into a cheap shot, and the challengers take over. They work Ax over, as the dead casino crowd just totally kills this already dull match dead. Fuji misses a flying elbowdrop to allow the tag to Smash, and he's a derby of fire! Brawl breaks out, and the Powers try taking advantage of their strength in numbers, but some salt throwing from Fuji backfires, and the Demolition Decapitation retains at 8:55. Total nothing throwaway match, despite being the blow off to months of feuding. ½* (Original rating: DUD)

Dino Bravo v Ronnie Garvin: With both guys already in the ring, but before the bell, a majorly coked out looking Jimmy Snuka makes what is, to this day, still one of the most absolutely random appearances of all time - coming out, posing for the fans, and then leaving. Was he in a rush to catch a plane, or something? Guess he figured the lines at the snack bars were going to be insane during this match, and he wanted to get it out of the way. The distractions allows Bravo to sneak attack, and he works Garvin over. Powerbomb is countered with a seated senton splash for two, however, and Garvin splashes him for two. Knockout punch and a well executed somersault cradle get two, and Ronnie wears him down with a sleeper. Piledriver, but Dino counters with a backdrop - countered back with a sunset flip for two. Ten-punch in the corner is countered with an inverted atomic drop, however, and Bravo finishes with the Sidewalk Slam at 3:33. You know, someone missed their mark by not making Mark Henry's finisher the 'perverted atomic drop' during the Sexual Chocolate days. Not really a WrestleMania worthy match, exactly, but not unwatchable. ¾* (Original rating: DUD)

The Brain Busters v Strike Force: They could have very easily swapped the Busters and the Towers, still put the same two teams over, still run the same breakup angle (whoops, SPOILER!), and likely get the best WrestleMania match since Savage/Steamboat to boot. Tully Blanchard starts with Rick Martel, and the Busters fire off a cheap shot in no time at all! Tito Santana rushes in to prevent it from going on for too long, however, and the Force stereo dropkick them out to clean house. Dust settles on Martel dropping Arn Anderson with a facebuster for two, and he works to get the Boston Crab on him, but Tully saves. Tito rushes in with a bulldog to save, and the Force hook stereo figure fours on the Busters. Pinfall reversal sequence between Blanchard and Santana ends in Tito hooking a backslide for two, and an inside cradle. Atomic drop follows, but a miscommunication with Martel ends in Rick getting blasted with the Diving Forearm! That allows the Busters to take over and cut the ring in half on Santana, as Martel recovers from the blow on the outside. Tito manages to slam Arn down off the top rope to allow the tag, but a still recovering Martel refuses to slap his partners hand. He stews on the apron for a few more seconds as the Busters continue to work over Santana, then decides to walk out on him all together. Considering they'd just run that exact breakup with the Mega Powers two months earlier, you'd think they'd change it up a bit. Not that it didn't work. Now alone, Santana fights valiantly, but eats a spike piledriver at 9:17. This was okay, but kind of a clash, as the Busters were more focused on the ring work, while the Force were all about the angle. * ½ (Original rating: * ½)

Andre the Giant v Jake Roberts: Big John Studd acts as the special guest referee for this one - which seems especially ridiculous, given that he openly hates Andre. Not to mention that I can't even imagine him diving to count near falls, ala Tommy Young. Not that I'm expecting a lot of complex cradles here. Andre rams Jake into an exposed turnbuckle right away, and grabs a sleeper. Much choking follows in the corner. I love Andre, but the man had no business out there working ten minute singles matches at this stage in his career. Much like Yokozuna in the mid-90s, putting him into a tag team was a brilliant move to hide his limitations, I just wish they thought of it sooner. This is just way too long for what it is. Like, even at WrestleMania IV, when he had a much more high profile match against Hulk Hogan on the card, he was out and done in five minutes. Roberts ends up getting Andre tied in the ropes, but Studd prevents him from using the snake, and Andre escapes. Jake uses the exposed buckle to his advantage, but ends up getting knocked out of the ring. The Giant ends up getting into an argument with Studd during this, and Ted DiBiase shows up in the chaos to steal Jake's snake. Meanwhile, Andre starts choking Studd down to get disqualified at 9:39 - Roberts chasing down DiBiase and unleashing Damien to save. Man, what a clusterfuck that finish was. This is another one that should have been a hot blow off after months of feuding, but ended up falling flat. And there's still over an hour of this show left to go! -* ½ (Original rating: -*)

The Hart Foundation v Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine: Technically, they're not 'Rhythm and Blues' yet. Bret Hart starts with Honky, and wins a criss cross with a rollup for two, followed by both atomic drop variants. Greg tags in to take an inverted atomic as well, and Jim Neidhart tag in with a slingshot shoulderblock for two. The Foundation work Valentine over with quick tags, but Hart misses a 2^nd rope elbowdrop, and Greg delivers a pair of fistdrops before whipping the Hitman into the corner. The heels cut the ring in half on Bret Hart, and Honky hits the Shake, Rattle, and Roll, but stupidly doesn't cover. Instead, he tags Greg in to try the Figure Four, but Hart is able to counter with an inside cradle for two. Valentine cuts off the comeback with a stomachbreaker, but Bret catches Honky with a bodypress for two while coming off the ropes. Tag to the Anvil, and he's a Hart-house of fire! Back to Bret with a 2^nd rope pointed elbowdrop on Honky, followed by a vertical suplex for two. That's enough to bring Greg back in, but Neidhart passes Bret Jimmy Hart's megaphone before Honky can get to it - Honky getting knocked out at 7:40. Solid outing here. * ¼ (Original rating: * ½)

WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Ultimate Warrior v Rick Rude: Warrior rushes the ring while still wearing the title belt - Rude hurting his knee when he tries to knee him on instinct. Warrior throws the challenger around as the crowd finally shows some signs of life, and grabs a bearhug at center ring. Rude's selling to make Warrior look like a complete powerhouse was just brilliant here. Rick rakes the eyes to escape, and plants a gorgeous missile dropkick on the champion, but it only gets one. Warrior pops back up and delivers a pair of bodyslams, then goes back to hugging him like a bear. Rick rakes the eyes again, so Warrior blitzes him, but a splash hits the knees, and Rude piledrives him for two. Jawbreaker gets two, and Rude can't even swivel his hips due to Warrior's beating! That was always one of my favorite Rude touches, and something I absolutely despise about today's product. With the exception of a few guys, everyone still does the same full on celebration after a win now, regardless of how grueling the match was. Rick keeps going to work, but Warrior starts powering up, and nails him with a jumping shoulderblock and a pair of facebusters. Backbreaker and a big clothesline set up a few corner whips, but a stinger splash misses. That's enough to setup the Rude Awakening, but Warrior blocks, and blasts him with a short-clothesline to send the challenger to the outside. Warrior tries to vertical suplex him back in, and executes it - only to have Bobby Heenan sweep him from the floor to allow Rude to topple him for the title at 9:42. Rude's lean physique and propensity to oversell made Warrior look like a beast here, and it made for a very entertaining bout. Smoke and mirrors never looked so good! Easily Warrior's best match ever to that point, that much is for sure. ** ¾ (Original rating: ** ¼)

Jim Duggan v Bad News Brown: Brown attacks him before the bell, and unloads with rights, but misses a cross corner charge, and Duggan slugs back. Clothesline sends Bad News to the outside, and Jim brings him back in hard way, but telegraphs a backdrop, and gets clobbered. Brown goes to work with turnbuckle smashes, but Jim no-sells everything. Ghetto Blaster misses to allow Duggan the 3-Point Stance, but they spill to the outside. Both men grab weapons, and that's a double disqualification at 3:47. Complete filler. DUD (Original rating: DUD)

Red Rooster v Bobby Heenan: Heenan is still selling the post-match beating from Warrior earlier on, and Rooster quickly destroys him at 0:32. I'd like to think that Rooster could have beaten Bobby Heenan on his own, but I guess we'll never know. DUD (Original rating: DUD)

Main Event: WWF Title Match: Randy Savage v Hulk Hogan: Elizabeth stands in a neutral corner, as promised. Savage taunts and stalls to start, and a frustrated Hulkster gives chases - Randy hiding behind Elizabeth. Hulk protesting Macho's actions directly to Donald Trump is pretty funny. Back in, Hulk catches him with a drop-toehold into a front-facelock, then shifts to a side-headlock. Macho uses a side suplex to escape, but an elbowdrop misses, and Hulk works a wristlock. Both guys look like they were actively competing to see who could get a darker tan before this match. I'd actually give Savage the edge there, shockingly. It's a wonder neither got skin cancer, to be perfectly honest. Macho catches Hogan with a flying axehandle to put him down with an armbar, but Hulk throws him out of the ring to escape. Back in, the challenger unloads a pair of turnbuckle smashes and a running forearm smash to setup a pair of elbowdrops and a bootrake. Backdrop is countered with a kick to the face to draw blood, however, and Macho follows up with a hangman's clothesline. Chinlock, but Hogan escapes, and hits an atomic drop - only to miss an elbowdrop. That allows Savage to drive him into the corner with a high knee, and a schoolboy gets two. He makes the mistake of slapping the Hulkster around, however, and gets blitzed in the corner. Cross corner clothesline hits, and Hulk decides to make Macho earn his money tonight - bodyslamming him clear out of the ring! Elizabeth tries to check on him, but that only infuriates the world champion, and Hulk goes out to prevent any woman beating. He tries ramming Macho into the post, but Liz won't allow it - only to have her efforts backfire when Savage slips free, and drives Hulk into the steel. Seeing Elizabeth checking on Hogan sets Randy off, however, and he chases her away from ringside. He blasts Hulk with a flying axehandle on the outside, then snaps his throat across the top rope on the way back in. Straddling ropechoke and a bodyslam setup a kneedrop for two, and Savage chokes him with some wrist tape. That's enough to setup the Flying Elbowdrop, and he absolutely NAILS IT! Man, no wonder his knee was all fucked up in later years. Unfortunately for him though, it only triggers the HULK UP!! Fists of Fury! Big Boot! Legdrop! 17:54! These two always had excellent chemistry, and while this wasn't an all time classic from a workrate perspective, is was given time and felt like a completely satisfying blow off to one of the bigger angles of the Hulkamania era. ** (Original rating: ***)

BUExperience: This is a show that suffers from excess more than anything else. Had they cut an hour off, down to the standard pay per view running time of about two hours and forty something minutes, they could have gotten rid of a significant amount of filler, and this one would be a whole lot more rewatchable today. But, this was the 1980s, an era of excess, where ‘more’ was always ‘more,’ and the show drags like crazy after the first hour or so

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