Chair Shots and Miscarriages of Justice: WWE Tables, Ladders, and Chairs 2016

CHAIR SHOTS AND MISCARRIAGES OF JUSTICE

WWE TABLES, LADDERS, AND CHAIRS 2016

BY: DOUBLE M

Smackdown back in action after the disappointing showing at Survivor Series with a name that goes straight to heart of this blog: Tables, Ladders, and Chairs [we believe it should be ‘chair shots’ but legal issues and royalty demands being what they are].  Anywho history set to be made in Dallas with all belts on the line in a night with so many stipulations that the matches without a stipulation are in fact a stipulation.  So pull up to the table and drop in off the ladder onto your favorite chair here we go.

BEST MATCH:  Dean Ambrose v. AJ Styles.  Solid back and forth between the two, Ambrose with his style purely his own and Styles running off pure disdain.  Trading chair shots capped off with a finish that I doubt many saw coming with the awkward James Ellsworth dumping Ambrose off the ladder onto tables.  Crazy Ambrose dropping the elbow off a ladder set up ON an announce table, game saving Phenomenal Forearm knocking The Lunatic off the ladder to victory.  Speaking of the ladder to victory, I know it’s all about drama and suspense but seriously, why do they always… climb…. one... step… at… a….. time.  Now speaking of the biggest fan in the business, where did that come from???  Help the guy who beat the living crap out of you retain???  Say you’re pissed at Ambrose ok but make it really fun.  Dump AJ too!!!  That’s drama.  Curious to see what’s next for this series.  They’ve been the main event going on four events which usually cues a change.  Aside from Miz, who retained his IC belt and is a) rumored to leave for RAW, b) fight the GM with about as many concussions as the RAW GM, not sure who else is worthy.  

WORST MATCH:   Heath Slater/Rhyno v. The Wyatt’s/Randy Orton.  It’s important for the opening match to set the tone, keep the energy up and give the crowd something to buzz about for a bit.  I’m sure the champs Slater and Rhyno can hold that up… somewhere in video game land when we’ve all taken mushrooms and a couple hits of LSD.  Why is Slater still harping about having kids so he needs a job?  Did he not gain a contract when he won the Tag titles thus granting him employment to feed said offspring which should be a shining example of the need for birth control?  Controversial debates aside I do like that The Wyatt’s and Orton hold the titles, I have more faith in the possibilities involving the dark side of The New Day than the White Trash Duo.

BEST MOMENT:  The Road to Wrestlemania is near and so is my personal favorite ppv The Royal Rumble.  The chatter has started and soon 30 superstars will vie for a shot at the main event for the biggest spectacle in sports entertainment.  I’m assuming the format will go back to the original format so the WWE title won’t be on the line, but still what surprise entrants will participant and surprise the pants off all of us?  Who will stand alone at the top of the mountain?

MOST DISAPPOINTING MOMENT:  There really wasn’t a best moment at TLC.  Yes I could go with James Ellsworth shocking the world dumping Dean Ambrose, The Miz low blowing his way to retaining the IC belt [as dirty as that sounds], perhaps how unexpectedly entertaining Baron Corbin/Kalisto round whatever number they’re on was.  Fact is yes 3 of the fights were good but overall really nothing memorable.

PARTING SHOTS:  

-Let’s take a moment to reflect on Maryse’s attire for TLC…..  

-Your moment of zen courtesy of the WWE: what weapons you bring into the ring to use on others will be used on you.

-Now for the elephant in the room: AJ Styles had a blowout on his ring attire and had part of his ass hanging out.  Pffffhahahaahaha

-I’m sure it was just excitement at not having his match buried in the pre-show but Kalisto.  Buddy.  Amigo.  You’re in a chairs match.  There are chairs all around the ring.  WHY ARE YOU LOOKING UNDER THE RING FOR A CHAIR STUPIDO PUNTA?!?!?!?!?!!?

-Carmella had a revelation to make.  She had something to bring to light.  She had some breaking news.  It was news that wasn’t broken yet.  She thought it was important.  Worth sharing.  Something the Universe needed to know.  I said she thought the Universe needed to know.  I said Carmella claims Natalya jumped Nikki Bella.  [crickets].   Yea I didn’t care either but it was fun doing a Stone Cold Austin ‘what?!’ chat wasn’t it?

-Baron Corbin had a great showing at TLC.  Moved well, angrily, and purposeful.  I’d love to see the Smackdown crew actually do something with him.  They need another peg to go with Ambrose/Styles/ Miz/Ziggler and Corbin’s style stands out.  

-Nice work by Becky Lynch and Alexa Bliss even though they literally fell into the ending.  Charlotte/Sasha Banks it was not but there’s something cooking here.  

Angry Rating Scale:  7.  Nice.  Not thrilling.  But nice.  There were moments of ‘wow’ but nothing that really stood out.  The opening tag title match was a bore followed up by the Nikki Bella/Carmella snoozer.  Still it didn’t seem to drag like the last few events RAW or Smackdown has put on.

~Double M