WWF SummerSlam 1991 (Version II)

Original Airdate: August 26, 1991

From New York, New York; Your Hosts are Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, and Roddy Piper

Opening Six-Man Tag Team Match: Warlord and Power & Glory v Davey Boy Smith, Kerry Von Erich, and Ricky Steamboat: Man, how many cards did Steamboat open at the Garden in '91? He starts with Paul Roma, and quickly takes a bodyslam, followed by a dropkick. Wow, Paul got so much elevation on that one that he nearly went over Ricky's head with it. He tries a dive off the middle rope, but Steamboat is ready with an armdrag into a wristlock, then into a savate kick. Roma tries a cross corner whip, but misses the follow-up charge, and Steamboat dropkicks him, then snapmares him into a tag to Hercules. Dragon armdrags him over before passing to Kerry, and they fight over a wristlock, with Von Erich reversing an attempt at a turnbuckle smash, then unloading a ten-punch. Hercules goes to the eyes to allow the tag to Warlord, but they fail to cut the ring in half first, and Bulldog gets the tag! He wins a power-showdown with the Warlord, and a vertical suplex is worth two. Back to Steamboat for a flying tomahawk chop, but a monkeyflip gets blocked, and Roma tags in with a flying axehandle. Lariat sets up a backbreaker, but Steamboat counters with a rollup, so Warlord comes in with his own lariat to stop that effort. Roma with a snap suplex for two, and a three-alarm no-release backbreaker follows ahead of a tag to Hercules for a press-slam. Warlord with a bodyslam, then back to Roma as they work the Dragon over with quick tags, but Warlord ends up missing a 2^nd rope flying elbowdrop, and Von Erich gets the hot tag! He's a sportatorium of fire, and a blind tag to Bulldog sets up a bodypress/Discus Punch combo for two. Tag to Roma, who walks right into the Running Powerslam from Davey, but kicks out at two, so Steamboat comes in with a flying bodypress to end it at 10:42. Peppy action - the perfect way to open the show. Steamboat did all the heavy lifting here for the babyfaces, with Davey just coming in with a few power moves, and Kerry basically just standing around - which was smart booking, especially with Von Erich. *** (Original rating: *)

WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Mr. Perfect v Bret Hart: Feeling out process to start, with Hart dominating, and Perfect resorting to hair pulls and cheap shots to try and fight him off. It takes very special wrestlers to make standard mat-based side-headlocks interesting, and these two are doing it. Criss cross sees Hart hit a bodypress for two, and a slingshot sunset flip is worth two after the champ tries dumping him. Perfect is getting increasingly frustrated and frazzled, and manages to unload some chops after failing to give a clean rope break, but gets taken down and hammered again. He manages to reverse a cross corner whip to hit a bodyslam, but Hart responds in kind, then clotheslines the champion over the top! Man, Perfect is just going out of his way to make the Hitman look like a superstar here. Perfect decides to walk out, but Hart drags him back with such intensity that he tears his tights apart in the process! Back in, Perfect hides in the ropes, which of course leads to a cheap shot, and it's finally enough to allow him to take control. He knocks Hart to the outside, and keeps him from getting back into the ring, then sends him flying into the rail by using the top rope as a slingshot to make sure he gets the message! Back in, Bret manages a rollup for two, but gets decked, then cross corner whipped for two. Somersault necksnap sets up a somersault cradle for two, and a dropkick sends the Hitman back to the floor. Perfect goes to the top to dive, but Bret follows up from the outside, and a slugfest results in both men falling down to the mat - Perfect landing on top for two! Perfect starts whipping him around the ring by the hair to setup a sleeper, but Bret slugs free. He tries a crucifix, but Perfect is ready with a Samoan drop for two, and he cracks him with chops in the corner, then sends him chest-first on a cross corner whip for two. Bret is selling his little ass off here. Perfect-Plex looks to finish, but Bret kicks out at two! If I recall his book correctly, Hart noted how honored he was to be the first to kick out of the move, though as these reviews have shown us, it had been done numerous times prior. Still an honor regardless. That allows Bret to start making his comeback with a pair of atomic drops, and he returns the favor by tossing Perfect across the ring by HIS hair - the champ expertly running himself crotch-first into the post off of it! Hart with a snap suplex for two, and an inside cradle is worth two. Russian legsweep gets two, and a well executed backbreaker sets up a 2^nd rope pointed elbowdrop for two. He argues the count, however, allowing Perfect a rollup for two, and they spill to the outside - Perfect taking a somersault bump after getting whipped into the post. Back in, Perfect keeps overselling by back flipping over off of simple kicks, but Coach gets onto the apron to prevent the Sharpshooter, and Perfect capitalizes by kicking Hart down low! He follows up with a few legdrops to the crotch, but Hart catches one, and counters into the Sharpshooter for the title at 18:02! Afterwards, Hart tears what's left of his singlet off to leave Perfect retreating in short tights, which is fitting since that’s the look he rocked when he debuted. I thought this one might get downgraded, but nope, it's still great! And given how bad Perfect's back was going into it, it's nothing short of a miracle. **** ¼ (Original rating: ****)

The Bushwhackers v The Natural Disasters: From that, to this. Butch starts with Typhoon, and immediately gets to biting him on the ass. That brings Earthquake in, and we get some silly miscommunication bits that end in the Bushwhackers pinballing them around and cleaning house. Kind of a weird strategy to introduce your new top heel team - having them get outsmarted and knocked around by comedy midcarders. Earthquake manages to take Butch down when the dust settles, and the Disasters cut the ring in half. They work a weird tandem move here, where Typhoon holds Butch in an overhead backbreaker, then passes him down into a bearhug from Earthquake. I think that may be the first case of a combo move that is literally one resthold into another. That's why they were perfect for each other. Luke gets the tag after another miscommunication, and Roseanne Barr the door, we've got a kettle on! The Bushwhackers manage to knock Earthquake to the outside, but a schoolboy on Typhoon fails, and Luke ends up getting sandwiched between them before the Earthquake Splash ends it at 6:27. It could have been much worse. ¼* (Original rating: DUD)

Million Dollar Title Match: Ted DiBiase v Virgil: Virgil doesn't even wait for the bell, attacking DiBiase in the corner, and blitzing him with an attack that ends in Ted going over the top from a clothesline! Virgil goes after him on the outside with a smash into the steps, then back in, he pops off some jabs. Atomic drop sends DiBiase over the top again, but Virgil misses a plancha as he goes after him this time, and Ted returns the favor with a trip into the steps. He adds a trip into the rail too to get a bit of return on his investment, and I wouldn't have expected less! That's why he's the Million Dollar Man! Back in, Ted works him over with a clothesline and a fistdrop, and a 2^nd rope flying axehandle gets two. Virgil has improved tremendously since the beginning of the year here, and is doing a terrific job of selling. DiBiase with a cross corner whip to setup a backdrop for two, as Piper does a fantastic job of getting over the drama on commentary. Virgil manages to get the Million Dollar Dream on during a criss cross, so Sherri runs in with her loaded purse to save, and that's a DQ at 3:56. But, the referee has a change of heart (Earl Hebner would never allow someone to get screwed on his watch, after all), and decides to re-start, but with Sherri banned from ringside! That was a clever little way to let them rest, while still keeping the crowd engaged. Beats a chinlock. So, with Sherri gone, the referee re-starts the match, and both guys stagger to their feet. Ted is up first and tries a turnbuckle smash, but Virgil reverses, and adds a bunch more for good measure, then pounds him with his golden gloves routine. Ten-punch count leads to a cross corner whip, but DiBiase reverses, and the referee goes down in the process. Should have stopped the match while you had the chance, pal. DiBiase with a series of three vertical suplexes on his challenger (who is he, Brock Lesnar?), but irony strikes when there's no referee to count after Ted hits a piledriver. He decides to make the best of the situation by removing a top turnbuckle pad, but of course, Virgil reverses him into it, and gets a dramatic three count at 10:53. This is everything that the WrestleMania match should have been! An average match made much better through strong booking - which is kind of the opposite of today, where they routinely have great matches that are hurt by their stupid booking. ** ¼ (Original rating: * ½)

Jailhouse Match: Big Boss Man v Mountie: Boss Man slugs him down for a splash right away, but only gets two with it. He keeps hammering him to setup a straddling ropechoke, so Mountie tries to dodge a second one, but Boss Man manages to slide out of the ring to save himself. Mountie goes to the next trick with an eyerake, but Boss Man shrugs it off, and plants him with a spinebuster. Man, Boss Man lost a ton of weight since the Twin Tower days. He slaps on a headvice, but gets distracted by Jimmy Hart on the outside, and stupidly engages him - Mountie able to capitalize by sending him into the steps. Mountie with a jumping backelbow on the way in, and Boss Man nicely sells a cross corner whip. Mountie with a bodyslam for two, and a snapmare sets up a pair of elbowdrops for two. Dropkick gets two, and a nice delayed piledriver hits. Mountie wants to add a cherry on top with the shock stick, but Boss Man dodges - only for the Boss Man Slam to get just two! That was a good near fall. I mean, I've seen this match probably a half dozen times before, and I thought that was it. Mountie capitalizes on the shock with another piledriver, but this one is countered with a whiplash, and that's enough at 8:38. And, as per pre-match stipulations, Mountie must now spend a night in a New York City jail cell - leading to a hilariously epic odyssey that plays out in segments throughout the rest of the show. Not a great match, but solid, and satisfying as a blow off. * ½ (Original rating: DUD)

WWF Tag Team Title Street Fight: The Nasty Boys v The Legion of Doom: The challengers don't even bother taking their spikes off before attacking, and it spills right to the floor for a brawl. Inside, Animal hits Brian Knobbs with a powerbomb for two, and Hawk nails Jerry Sags with a leg-feed enzuigiri and a jumping shoulderblock for two. The Nasties respond by grabbing a can of spray-paint and blinding Hawk with it, and Sags whacks him with a bucket holding a bunch of sodas. Fun spot, as the shot resulted in a big splash, and soda cans flying around everywhere. Despite the no holds barred rules, the referee is still enforcing tags here, and the Nasties cut the ring in half on Hawk. Sags with a flying elbowdrop for two, but Knobbs misses a 2^nd rope flying splash, and Animal gets the tag. He's a cage of fire, but Jimmy Hart passes his Boys the motorcycle helmet, and they put Animal down for two. That leads to Hawk kicking Jimmy's ass, and he whacks Sags with the helmet to setup the Doomsday Device at 7:44! Another match that benefitted tremendously from wise booking, and not overstaying its welcome - though it could have been a bit more chaotic. 1991 WCW would have booked this as a standard tag match and given it seventeen minutes. * ½ (Original rating: DUD)

Irwin R. Schyster v Greg Valentine: Feeling out process to start, with Valentine dominating, and sending IRS to the outside with a clothesline. He stalls out there for a while to break the momentum, but gets caught with a well executed sunset flip for two on the way back in. Greg adds a bodyslam to send IRS bailing for the floor again, but this time Valentine is hot on his tail - only to get clobbered on the way in for giving up the high ground. Irwin capitalizes with an abdominal stretch, but gets caught using the ropes, and Valentine hiptosses him. IRS cuts him off with a clothesline and an elbowdrop for two, then slaps on a chinlock. Fun fun fun. Backbreaker sets up a trip to the top rope, but Valentine slams him off before we get to find out what for, then unloads with chops. IRS tries a high knee in the corner, but it misses, and Greg immediately capitalizes by going to work on the leg. That sets up the Figure Four, but Irwin gets the ropes. Valentine keeps after him with a kneebreaker, but another Figure Four is countered with an inside cradle at 7:07. I wasn't really feeling this one. It wasn't bad, but I found it too long to be simple filler, while not good enough to warrant seven minutes on pay per view. * (Original rating: ¼*)

Main Event: Handicap Match: Hulk Hogan and Ultimate Warrior v The Triangle of Terror: Sid Justice serves as the special guest referee for this one. Hogan starts with Sgt. Slaughter, and right away Sid establishes himself as babyface by taking a weapon away from Sarge. Slaughter comes hard to Hogan, but gets reversed into the corner, and the faces pinball him in the corner. Tag to Warrior for a tandem clothesline, and an inverted atomic drop follows. Great bumping by Slaughter here. Tag to Hogan for a tandem big boot, and a turnbuckle smash gets two. Running forearm smash and a 2^nd rope flying axehandle get two, and a corner clothesline follows. This has just been a total - ahem - slaughter here thus far. Sarge manages to fight Hulk off after Sid distracts Hogan by actually CALLING HIM ON HIS SHIT, which must have been a shock for the Hulkster after years of pushover officials. That brings General Adnan in for some back scratches, and Col. Mustafa adds a gutwrench suplex to setup the Camel Clutch, as the announcers note that they "remember this from back in 1983." Warrior saves anyway, so Slaughter comes in for some choking, and a corner whip reversal sends Hulk crashing into Sid, but unlike in the earlier match, this referee DOESN'T go down. And what an asshole Hogan is, immediately clenching his fist, and threatening to hit him. Dude, YOU crashed into HIM! I love Hulkamania, and everything, but man, sometimes looking back it's hard to believe this guy was the big babyface hero. Slaughter goes up to finish him off, but Warrior shoves him down off the top, and gets the tag! He blitzes Slaughter with clotheslines, but ends up colliding with Justice during a criss cross - again bringing in Hogan to threaten him. Seriously dude, what's your fucking problem?! Like, how tone deaf can you be? I wish Sid would just powerbomb his orange ass, already. The heels cut the ring in half on Warrior, but he catches Sarge with a jumping clothesline during a criss cross, and Hulk gets the hot tag. He's a tanning bed of fire, and Slaughter eats the big boot as Warrior takes out the other two - chasing them to the dressing rooms with a chair. That allows Hogan to throw powder in Slaughter's eyes behind Sid's back, and the Legdrop finishes him at 12:38. The powder seemed kind of unnecessary, considering how easily they were squashing Slaughter the whole match. Like, what a bully. Hogan and Slaughter are fun together, but the other three dragged it down - especially the involvement of Mustafa and Adnan, both not exactly top physical specimens to begin with, and each around fifty years old at the time. It managed to be entertaining beyond its rating, though. ¾* (Original rating: ½*)

The Match Made in Heaven: The ring crew does a fantastic job (and quickly, too) of dismantling the ring, and turning Madison Square Garden into a church for Randy Savage to marry Miss Elizabeth in - 'blowing off' the angle set up at their WrestleMania VII reunion. In reality, they were already married (back in 1984), and they got real-life divorced the next year - though they seemed to have a friendly relationship for many years after. Sadly, Howard Finkel doesn't do the ring introductions (a gig he would end up having in real-life, in later years), but everything else goes wonderfully, and it's a nice moment for everyone.  Afterwards, they go off to the reception, and you haven’t LIVED until you’ve seen the Macho Man bring his intensity to opening presents, and yelling things like 'CANDLESTICKS!!' while his eyes light up like a kid on Christmas.  I mean, we’re talking Monica Geller territory here. Of course, the night ends in tragedy, as a gift cobra from Jake Roberts and the Undertaker starts and panic, and Savage is fuming

BUExperience: I love this one! Though there is only one truly great match on the card, it’s a supremely entertaining show, with lots of satisfying blow offs, fun angles, and historical significance. Plus – and this is a biggie – it never felt like it got bogged down in crap at any point, feeling light throughout. Just a fun, fun show, top to bottom

****