WWF Coliseum Video Collection: Crunch Classic (1992)

WWF Coliseum Video Collection: Crunch Classic (1992)

Coliseum Video compilation. The front cover of the tape features Earthquake sitting on a jobber, and promises a profile on Roddy Piper, while the back cover promises a segment on Jimmy Hart’s life on the road, as well as something called ‘snakes are fun’ with Jake Roberts

Roddy Piper hosts from the studio, and he's his usual calm, tranquil self. He starts by running down all his career highlights, but noting that despite all the achievements, he never actually won a title. Yeah, well, if you were willing to actually, you know, do jobs, that might not be the case. Of course, all of that changed when he met the Mountie...

WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Mountie v Roddy Piper: From Royal Rumble '92. Piper throws the kilt at him to take control at the bell, but Mountie bails before the challenger can do too much damage. Roddy is right after him for more abuse on the outside, and back in Piper hits a fistdrop. Roddy with a pair of turnbuckle smashes and a bulldog to setup another fistdrop for two, but a second bulldog is blocked, and Piper misses a dropkick to lose control. Mountie is right on him with some turnbuckle smashes of his own, but a jumping backelbow is worth two, so Mountie tosses him to the outside. Piper comes back at him with a slingshot sunset flip for two, so Mountie tries dumping him again, but now he's just pissing the Hot Rod off! Roddy with a backdrop and an atomic drop, so Jimmy Hart tries to get involved, but it backfires and Piper applies the Sleeper to win his first (and only) singles title in the WWF at 5:21! Not much as a match, but it was fun, and a great moment for the long time veteran. * ½

Back in the studio, Piper is still celebrating the win. Probably with cocaine, given his general demeanor. He talks bout eating baloney sandwiches with Virgil, and notes that Ted DiBiase is a jerk because he's 'got so much money.' Says the man wearing a $25,000 Rolex Day-Date on his wrist

Virgil and Big Boss Man v Ted DiBiase and Irwin R. Schyster: Dark match from a TV taping on October 22 1991 in Dayton Ohio, before Money Inc was even an official named team. I know everyone says that the team didn't make sense (since IRS should be DiBiase's nemesis), but I always interpreted it as Irwin being crooked, and on DiBiase's payroll. Of course, if that were the case, you'd think they wouldn't go on TV every week and declare flaunt their alliance for the whole world to see, but I guess that's where that suspension of disbelief stuff comes in. IRS starts with Boss Man, which kind of backs up my theory, since here is an officer of the law trying to go after this crooked partnership. Of course, he's a local cop from Georgia, and you'd think that would be a federal matter, but there's that suspension of disbelief thing again. They both tag out after a quick exchange, and DiBiase hammers on Virgil, but telegraphs a backdrop, and takes a sunset flip for two. Atomic drop sends Ted over the top, where Boss Man is waiting with a right hand, and back in they go. Virgil stays on him, but eats boot while trying a corner charge, and IRS tags in with a jumping forearm. He adds a pair of elbowdrops, and the future tag champs double up behind the referee's back. Ted with a vertical suplex for two, and IRS with a flying forearm for two, as they cut the ring in half. DiBiase telegraphs another backdrop to allow Virgil a swinging neckbreaker, and Virgil then reverses a suplex from IRS to allow the hot tag to Boss Man - Roseanne Barr the door! Sensational Sherri tries to help her team out with her shoe, but hits IRS by accident, and Virgil schoolboys him at 7:02. Somewhere in the back, I bet a light bulb went off over Hulk Hogan's head. Afterwards, DiBiase and IRS nearly come to blows, until Ted shoves some money in his hand, and everything's cool again. This was perfectly competent tag action. * ½

Back in the studio, Piper offers his thoughts on managers, comparing them to dogs who do nothing by cash checks. I don't know what the hell kind of dogs Piper's been hanging out with, but most canine's I know only take cash money

Speaking of managers, as promised, we're getting a look at the day in the life of Jimmy Hart. Jimmy pulls up to a hotel, and runs right up to the front desk to make sure all of his guys are checked in. They are, but they don't have a room for Hart himself. Mountie isn't especially sympathetic though, only worried about Jimmy servicing his shock stick. This is basically just a series of skits with Hart at either the arena or the hotel, dealing with the various demands of his charges. It's not a particularly good segment, but it's fun to see something like this focusing on a minor supporting character that we don't hear a lot about outside of the ring, kind of in the same way that it was always fun when the Simpson's would do an episode on Disco Stu or Chief Wiggum, and not just Bart and Homer for the hundredth time

Back in the studio, Piper preaches the importance of paying hotel bills. You see, you have a little fun, and you learn something

The Nasty Boys v The New Foundation: From Prime Time Wrestling on December 23 1991 (taped December 4) in Austin Texas. The announcers relate an interesting back-story for the New Foundation here about Owen feeling that Anvil might treat him like a child since he's Bret's kid brother, and Owen trying to prove himself. The Nasties try to gang up on Jim Neidhart to start, but he cleans house, and then whips Owen at them with a tope. Back in, the dust settles on Owen working Brian Knobbs' arm, but he gets punched in the face, and Jerry Sags tags in. He hits a bodyslam, but Owen dodges an elbowdrop, and tags back to Anvil. The New Foundation take turns working Sags' arm, but Owen gets suckered into a chase, and Knobbs dives off the top rope at him to turn the tide. The Nasties go to work cutting the ring in half, but Owen manages a blindtag to Jim, and he brings him in with a slingshot shoulder on both heels. Cover, count, but Sags throws the referee down to stop the fall - only to get his team disqualified at 7:29. Nothing special here. ½*

Back in the studio, Piper remains unimpressed with Jimmy Hart, and reminds us of the time he had to deal with that little runt back at WrestleMania III. He notes that it was the greatest night of his life, because for the first time, he didn't have to worry about people trying to stab him or throwing drinks at him

Hair v Hair Match: Roddy Piper v Adrian Adonis: From WrestleMania III. This Coliseum release only came out five years after this match, and already 1987 felt like a lifetime back. Even just visually, it's immediately apparent that you're in a different era simply by looking at the video quality. Compare that to today, where you can go back a full decade, and things don't feel all that different. Roddy attacks him with a belt to start, as the crowd goes fucking ballistic. A bit of interference from Jimmy Hart allows Adrian to use the belt himself, but he gets reversed going into the corner, and Piper rams his head together with Hart's before tossing them both out of the ring. For his next trick, he launches Jimmy off the top rope at Adonis, but gets tripped up as he tries to abuse the poor manager another time, and Adrian goes to work in the corner. Out to the floor, Piper takes a trip into the timekeeper's table, and Jimmy Hart gets his licks in as well. Back in, Piper is on spaghetti legs, but don't quit fighting. Hart helps him by spraying some perfume in his eyes to allow Adonis the Good Night Irene sleeper, but he releases prematurely, and Roddy slaps on his own Sleeper for the win at 6:13. The match was shit, but it totally worked as an angle and blow off. ¼*

In the studio, Piper takes credit for kicking off Brutus Beefcake's career as the Barber that night. I’m pretty sure that was Hulk Hogan. This does reinforce what I was saying about how quickly things used to turn over. Here we are five years later, and Beefcake's run had already come and gone. Roddy then pulls a postcard out of his kilt, and it's from a fan, requesting a British Bulldog/Undertaker match. That was such a random segue that it makes me wonder if the mailman delivers post directly to Piper's kilt. Like, maybe he suddenly felt a little flick downstairs, and was like, 'oh shit, I've got mail,' and opened it up right then and there

Undertaker v Davey Boy Smith: Dark match from a TV taping in Utica New York on November 11 1991. Undertaker jumps him at the bell, and chokes Davey into the corner. Cross corner whip follows, but a charge misses, and Bulldog clotheslines him over the top - Undertaker landing on his feet, and pulling Smith out after him. He tries a smash into the steps, but Bulldog reverses, only to have his throat snapped across the top rope while trying to pull Undertaker back into the ring. Undertaker with a ropechoke on his way in, then tosses Bulldog right back to the floor for that trip into the steps. In, Undertaker tries an elbowdrop, but Davey dodges. That allows him to try a bodyslam, but Undertaker topples him for two, and hits a jumping clothesline. More choking, until Bulldog manages a few headbutts, but another try at the slam gets him toppled again. Undertaker tries a backdrop, but Smith manages to block, and he delivers a hanging vertical suplex. Undertaker sits right up, so Bulldog hits him with the Running Powerslam, but Paul Bearer distracts the referee to interrupt the count. That allows Undertaker to bash Bulldog with the urn, and that's that at 6:56. What a waste of a stamp this was. DUD

Kerry Von Erich v Rick Martel: From Prime Time on January 13 1992 (taped December 4 1991) in Austin Texas (same taping as the Nasties/Foundation match from earlier). Martel plays mind games as they square off, but botches a leapfrog in the corner, causing Von Erich to run head-first into Rick's ass. That was a pretty goofy botch, and I'm surprised this not only made TV without getting cut around, but a Coliseum tape as well. I mean, I'm not complaining because I prefer unclipped matches, warts and all, but it's still surprising nonetheless. Von Erich knocks him around, and it's hard to believe he's only a year removed from the Intercontinental title at this point, because he looks terrible out there. He misses a charge in the corner, allowing Martel to pound him down for a 2^nd rope flying axehandle. Rick goes for it a second time, but lands right in the claw! Kerry has it well applied, but Martel makes the ropes to force a break before Tornado can finish him off. Kerry is undeterred, and keeps coming, so Rick grabs the perfume, and mists Von Erich in the eyes for the DQ at 5:42. Really, they were protecting Kerry Von Erich with DQ finishes at this point? Complete nothing match here. DUD

Piper notes that he's not afraid of much, but he's damn sure scared of snakes. According to the Hot Rod, the simple sight of one causes him to scream "higher than Little Richard," and take off running "like Jesse Owens." Thankfully, he doesn't trot out the body paint from WrestleMania VI to demonstrate

Fun with snakes, with Jake Roberts! We start off with Jake in the shower, playing with his snake. Oh dear. Jake's upset that President Jack Tunney has barred his reptile from ringside, since they're the best pet around. You don't even have to feed them everyday! And they'll eat anything! This is followed by clips of snakes eating other snakes, and attacking Randy Savage. Then we flash back to 80s Jake showing off various snakes. This was a creepy little segment, but Jake is such a brilliant talker that it absolutely works

And speaking of brilliant talkers, Piper suggests sending Skinner after Jake's pets. But we don't have time for that, so here's Skinner fighting Jim Neidhart instead

Jim Neidhart v Skinner: From Prime Time on October 14 1991 (taped September 10) in Cornwall Ontario Canada. Skinner stalls a bunch to start, spending more time with his spittoon than he does locking up with Neidhart. The first seven minutes of this feature less than a full sixty seconds of contact, and it's pretty clearly building towards a time limit draw. That's one thing on a house show, but this JTTS shit made television AND a highlight tape. Neidhart gets sick of the stalling and chases him around, allowing Skinner to bop him with that gator claw to get control. And what does he do with it now that he has it? Chinlock, baby! He's like a dog who actually caught the car he was chasing, and has absolutely no idea what to do with it. Though, Neidhart's really more of a bus. Skinner with lots of choking as he tests the limits of the referee's leniency, but Neidhart escapes another chinlock, and hits a jumping shoulderblock. He makes a comeback, but they spill to the outside, and it looks to be a double countout, but turns out to be a time limit draw at 13:00. Huh? Why even bother doing a time limit draw if the finish features them brawling on the outside anyway? This was legitimately terrible, and have very little star power on top of things. I have no idea how this even made TV, let alone inclusion on this tape. –½*

Back in the studio, Piper warns his grandmother to close her eyes for this next one, since it features four of the ugliest guys around. Don't worry, after that last match, she's probably fast asleep anyway

The Natural Disasters v Sgt. Slaughter and Jim Duggan: Dark match from a TV taping on January 27 1992 in Lubbock Texas. Typhoon and Duggan start, and they measure each other for a bit. Duggan manages to put him down with a clothesline, so Earthquake comes in without a tag, but Sarge blocks his path. Dust settles on Typhoon and Slaughter, with Sarge dodging an avalanche, and passing back to Jim to work the arm. He runs into a cheap shot from Earthquake, however, and the Disasters cut the ring in half on Hacksaw. How ironic. That drags on, until he manages to dodge 'Quake in the corner, and there's the tag to Slaughter. The Disasters try to double team him, but it ends up backfiring, and Sarge gets Typhoon in a sleeper. Earthquake saves, and they work together to squash Slaughter in the corner, but Duggan comes in with the 2x4 to prevent another double team, and that's a DQ at 8:41. Really boring. DUD

Back in the studio, 'the Pipes' notes that he had a ball, and he'd stay longer, but there's no more room on the tape. And thank God for that

BUExperience: This one is not the best. While Piper does a predictably entertaining job of hosting, the match selection is really weak, and isn’t worth bothering with. It’s also extremely light on star power. Not a good addition to your Coliseum Collection.