WCW Bash at the Beach 1996 (Version II)

Original Airdate: July 7, 1996

From Daytona Beach, Florida; Your Hosts are Tony Schiavone, Dusty Rhodes, and Bobby Heenan. Right away, they announce that Eric Bischoff is missing, and assumed kidnapped by the Outsiders

Opening Match: Rey Mysterio Jr v Psychosis: Mike Tenay sits in on commentary for this one. Rey wants a handshake to start, but Psychosis is feeling extra dickish, and slaps him across the face instead. Rey responds by dumping him to the outside right away, and Psychosis stalls a bit. Inside, Rey shoots at the leg, and gets Psychosis in a half-crab, but Psychosis counters to a Mexican surfboard. Rey topples him for two, and goes to a cross-armbreaker, but Psychosis counters to a stepover-toehold coupled with an armbar, then into an armscissors. Rey counters to a toehold, but Psychosis is in the ropes, and both guys break to a neutral position. Psychosis tries a cheap shot as they lockup, but Rey outmaneuvers him, so Psychosis sends him to the floor with a spinheel kick, and then nearly kills himself while diving after him with a tope suicida! Back in, Psychosis uses a bodyslam to set up a legdrop for two, and he grounds Mysterio in a cobra clutch. Rey starts fighting free, so Psychosis bodyslams him to set up a well executed flying legdrop for two. Dude got some air on that one. Psychosis with a guillotine legdrop and some chops in the corner, followed by a lariat for two. Psychosis grounds him in a headscissors, but Rey gets the ropes, so Psychosis snaps his throat across them since he loves them so much. Criss cross sees Rey flip out to the apron, so Psychosis goes after him, but Mysterio sends him into the post with a monkeyflip! Rey then dives off the apron with a flying rana on the floor, and a springboard flying rana into a cradle is worth two on the way back in. Dropkick to the leg sets up a stepover-toehold, and Rey props him up in the corner for a dropkick for two. Psychosis fires back with a drop-toehold into a headscissors, and an inverted DDT sends Mysterio bailing to the outside. Psychosis is on him for a drop across the guardrail, and he dives off the top with a wild flying senton splash on the floor! That was some craziness! Psychosis with an enzuigiri for two on the way back in, and he slaps on a camel clutch. I like how the announcers refer to it as a camel clutch 'style' hold, like maybe they think it's a horse clutch. Psychosis switches to a hammerlock, but Rey snapmares his way free, and hits a rana as they criss cross. That puts Psychosis on the outside, and Rey nails him with a springboard dropkick on the apron. Flying rana sends Psychosis back to the floor, and Rey rolls him in for a slingshot moonsault for two. Psychosis tries a pop-up, but Rey counters with a dropkick, then sends him to the outside with a springboard missile version. Rey is after him with a wild springboard corkscrew senton out there, but he ends up bashing his knee into the rail on the landing, and it slows him down as they head back in. That allows Psychosis to counter a springboard seated senton with a sitout powerbomb for two, and he drops Rey into the turnbuckles with authority. Psychosis follows him upstairs for a splash mountain off the middle, but Rey deftly counters with a rana off the top for the pin at 15:18! Yeah, so this was wild stuff, and a hot way to open up the show. *** ¾ (Original rating: ****)

Carson City Silver Dollar Match: Big Bubba Rogers v John Tenta: Having armed guards stationed along the aisle to defend against the Outsiders is a great touch. Tenta is looking more like Whale than Shark here. Bubba stalls at the bell, so Tenta goes for the coins (on a pole), but gets pulled down and decked. Bubba goes for the coins, same result. Tenta goes for the coins, same result. This is pretty terrible, and having to follow that opener isn't helping their case. Bubba goes for the coins, but this time Tenta crotches him on the top to change things up, and he dumps Rogers to the outside. John climbs, but loses his nerve at the feel of the rickety pole, and stops to try and adjust it, but that allows Bubba to attack him with his belt. He chokes Tenta with it, then uses some tape to shackle him to the middle rope for a beating. "Got him right in the gills there" notes Heenan, prompting a funny discussion where the announcers clarify that John Tenta is, in fact, not a fish. Bubba grabs some scissors to do more haircutting, but Tenta fights him off, and goes back to adjusting the pole again. That allows Bubba to recover and attack with an earringer, followed by a spinebuster. He sends Jimmy Hart up the pole for the coins, and yeah, that thing is looking rickety as fuck with little Jimmy on it, let alone one of these big dudes. Hart gets the sock full of coins, but Tenta gets it away from him, and he whacks Bubba with it for three at 8:53. The Great American Bash match was rough, but this one was downright terrible. Afterwards, Tenta puts coins over Bubba's eyes, in perhaps the only entertaining moment of this entire shit match. -* (Original rating: -½*)

Taped Fist Match: Jim Duggan v Diamond Dallas Page: Page tries to work a headlock to start, but quickly gets knocked to the outside. He responds by spitting his gum at Duggan, and then snapping Jim's throat across the top rope when Hacksaw goes after him. That allows Dallas to sweep Duggan down, and he uses some tape to tie Jim's leg's around the post to subdue him for a beating. Way too much tape-used-as-shackles stuff going on with this show. The referee cuts Duggan loose, and he unloads on DDP to knock Page back to the outside, and Hacksaw follows to whip him into the rail. He drives Page into the post for good measure, and a vertical suplex bring Dallas back in from the apron. Page is overselling like crazy here. Duggan tries a another suplex, but Page holds the ropes to block, and takes Jim down with a modified facebuster. Page goes up, but Duggan falls into the ropes to crotch him, and Hacksaw brings him down with a facebuster. Jim follows up with a series of turnbuckle smashes, and a clothesline sends Page over the top. Hacksaw hustles him back in, but Page is ready with the Diamond Cutter at 5:40. The taped fists meant nothing here. ¼* (Original rating: DUD)

Dog Collar Match: The Nasty Boys v Public Enemy: A lot of gimmick matches on this show. Whose bright idea was it to book a match that limits their mobility even further?! It'll be quick, hopefully. They pick partners based on hair color apparently, as Jerry Sags gets connected to Rocco Rock, and Brian Knobbs with Johnny Grunge. Everyone spills to the outside right away, giving us what is, perhaps, my least favorite mid-90s WCW hallmark: the split-screen that gives more space to background shit than the actual action. How they got away with that when people had smaller, non-HD TVs I'll never know. The brawl quickly ends up over at the entrance set, where everyone grabs various beach themed props for a fight in the sand. Hey, at least they're making use of the awesome set. I appreciate that. Grunge hits Knobbs with a bulldog onto a chair over on the boardwalk, as Rock dives off a lifeguard tower onto Sags, but the Boys get hold of trashcan lids to fight them off. Rock tries climbing the tower a second time, but Sags tips him over into the sand to block, as Knobbs whacks Grunge with a surfboard for two. Into the aisle, Rock puts Sags through a table with a flying splash off of the guardrail, but Sags starts slugging him with the chain, as Knobbs and Grunge get back into the ring. Sags and Rock follow, and Rocco puts Jerry on a table to set up a dive, but Sags uses the chain to pull him off - the table failing to break on impact, though. That must have been fun for Rock's back. Sags puts him on the table for a dive off the middle, but the stubborn thing again refuses to break, as Knobbs and Grunge stall for time. Another unintentionally funny bit, as Sags tries to whip Rock into the ropes, but Rocco ends up tripping on the chain, and falling on his ass. Finally, Sags just whacks him with the chain for the pin to put an end to this thing at 11:25. Not my cup of tea. ½* (Original rating: ¾*)

WCW Cruiserweight Title Match: Dean Malenko v Disco Inferno: Dean has no patience for Disco's antics, and slaps the taste out of his mouth before the bell, and then dumps him right to the outside for a beating. Back in, Malenko cross corner clotheslines him, and throws a leg lariat for two. Brainbuster is worth two, and Malenko grounds his challenger in a chinlock. He shifts to a headscissors from there, but Disco shakes his booty free, so Dean uses a saito suplex before tying him up in a grapevine. Malenko with a snapmare to set up a seated dropkick for two, and damn is his level of precision off the charts! Dean with an STF, but Disco escapes, so Malenko uses a sunset cradle for two, then beats on him in the corner. Disco turns the tables, and manages to outsmart Malenko during another exchange in the corner to set up a hotshot. Disco adds a reverse Russian legsweep for two, but Dean tosses him to the outside before the challenger can build momentum. Back in, Malenko uses a snapmare to set up a kneedrop, and he ties Disco up in a crucifix hold. Disco manages the ropes, so Dean uses another snapmare to set up a springboard legdrop for two. Dean goes up for a flying axehandle, but Disco manages to block, and he drops the champion with a neckbreaker, but Malenko is in the ropes for the cover. Disco with a backdrop for two, and a swinging neckbreaker gets two. Dean fires back with a springboard dropkick to set up the Texas Cloverleaf, but Disco counters with a cradle for two, and breaks off a clothesline for two. Hiptoss, but Dean counters with a short-clothesline, only for Disco to dodge a dropkick. He goes for another neckbreaker, but Malenko blocks, and hits a butterfly powerbomb into the Cloverleaf at 12:03. Solid work here, though nothing high level. ** ¾ (Original rating: ** ¾)

Steve McMichael v Joe Gomez: These two look a lot alike when standing together. Gomez charges him in the corner as Steve is helping Debra out of the ring, but it backfires on him pretty quickly. McMichael with a corner clothesline, but Joe fires back with a bodypress for two, and starts unloading turnbuckle smashes until McMichael mulekicks him. I see the Horsemen have rubbed off on him already. McMichael with a backbreaker for two, and he works a chinlock. Gomez fights free, so Steve tries a sleeper instead, but Joe is ready with a stunner to escape. Backdrop, but McMichael counters with a neckbreaker for two. He tries a figure four, but Gomez counters with a cradle for two, so Steve bodyslams him. Elbowdrop, but Joe dodges, so Steve tries a powerbomb, but Joe counters with a backdrop. Gomez gets fired up for a comeback, and they BADLY blow a sunset flip spot, before Steve puts him away with a tombstone at 6:46. Not good in general, but considering this was McMichael's first singles match (and only third match ever, period) you have to be impressed by how quickly he grasped the concepts. He never really improved into a good worker, but he had passion. This was a bad match where it could easily have been a train wreck. ¼* (Original rating: ¼*)

WCW United States Title Match: Konnan v Ric Flair: Feeling out process to start, and Konnan manages a corner whip to set up a nice backdrop, then down into a bow-and-arrow. Ric won't quit, so Konnan press-slams him, and starts unloading with chops in the corner. Flair tries turning the table, but Konnan brushes him off, and hits another press-slam. Cactus clothesline sends them tumbling over the top, and Konnan dives off the apron with a flying clothesline - taking Elizabeth down with Ric in the process. That probably earned him an earful from Randy Savage later on. Konnan goes up, but Woman shakes the ropes to prevent another dive, and Ric capitalizes with a chop on the way back in. Kneedrop gets two, but Konnan starts no-selling some chops, so Flair goes to the eyes, and Woman sneaks in to punt the champion in the nuts while the referee is busy admonishing the challenger for the eye poke. Ric tosses him over the top for Woman to abuse some more, and he uses a hanging vertical suplex to bring the champion in from the apron for two. Chinlock, but Konnan starts fighting free, so Flair goes to work with chops. It backfires when Konnan gets fired up and unloads a ten-punch, followed by a cross corner whip that flips Flair to the apron for a springboard dropkick. Flair begs off on the way back in, but Konnan tries a sunset flip, so Ric throws a right to block. Figure Four, but Konnan counters with a cradle for two, and a drop-toehold takes Ric down for a figure four from the champion! Ric makes the ropes and bails to the apron, but Konnan vertical suplexes him back in for two. Corner charge hits Ric's elbow, allowing Flair to go upstairs, but the champion slams him off, and hits a one-handed bulldog for two. Rolling clothesline gets two, and an abdominal cradle follows, but Liz distracts the referee to prevent a count. Konnan stays focused, but Flair hits a side backbreaker, and Woman bashes the champion with her shoe to allow the Nature Boy a leveraged pin at 15:26. Standard Flair formula match, with Konnan plugging in nicely. Flair will make a good representative for the title, but it can't help but feel like a demotion for him. But, hey, whatever gets the belt of Konnan. ** ¾ (Original rating: *)

Giant and Kevin Sullivan v Arn Anderson and Chris Benoit: This feels like kind of a waste of the world champion, but I guess they didn't need any added intrigue to sell this card anyway. Giant and Sullivan sneak attack in the aisle during the entrances, but Giant gets distracted by Steve McMichael, and leaves Kevin by himself to get double teamed into the ring. The Horsemen work Sullivan over, but Kevin manages to send Arn into Chris with a catapult (though the spot was a little botched), and Giant gets the tag. Roseanne needs to immediately Barr the door here, as Sullivan and Benoit brawl over to the entrance set right away, as Giant slams Arn around. Chokeslam finishes the Enforcer at 8:01. What a surprisingly boring match. ¼* (Original rating: ¼*)

Main Event: Six-Man Tag Team Match: Lex Luger, Sting, and Randy Savage v The Outsiders: Scott Hall and Kevin Nash show up, but the mysterious third man is nowhere to be seen. Gene Okerlund goes into the ring to inquire, but Hall only says the third man is in the building, and won't let on anymore. So they'll just wrestle this is a handicap match, since the WCW geeks ain't no thang. They ring the bell before only two guys are settled in the ring (usually a WWF thing), so maybe the timekeeper is secretly nWo? Luger starts with Hall, and slaps Scott right across the chops. Scott slugs back, but Luger throws a forearm smash, and a clothesline follows. He goes after Nash in the corner, but gets into trouble, so Sting runs in with a Stinger Splash to save - only to take Luger out along with Nash! Lex ends up down and out on the floor, so the EMTs rush out to check on him, and he ends up getting stretchered out. That was a great red herring, considering Luger spent months playing a tweener character earlier in the year. Okay, so with Lex gone we've got a straight tag match here, and the dust settles on Sting and Hall. Sting bounces him around with an inverted atomic drop and a one-handed bulldog before passing to Macho, but Scott blocks a flying axehandle, and Nash hits him with the snake-eyes. Hall tries to add a clothesline, but Macho ducks, and hangman clotheslines him for two. Tag to Nash, and the big guy powers Randy around, and uses a bodyslam to set up an elbowdrop, but Savage dodges ahead of tagging. Sting walks into a knee, however, and Nash unloads in the corner. Cross corner whip, but Sting avoids the crash, and dropkicks Kevin. Sunset flip, but Nash is able to block, and he choke tosses him. The Outsiders work Sting over in the corner, and Hall hits a fallaway slam for two. Nash with a big boot as they cut the ring in half, and Savage goes berserk on the apron. He was never really known as a tag wrestler, but Savage was always fantastic in that role. He was always so pumped up, and made you feel like he was ready to die for his partner. Sting also does a great job of falling JUST short of tags. He manages to fight off Nash long enough to get the tag off, and Macho dives in with a flying axehandle on Hall. He tosses Scott over the top so he can pound on Kevin, then dives to the floor with another flying axehandle. A third one on Hall on the way back in, but Nash goes low to stop the assault, so Hulk Hogan comes down to help the WCW side! Heenan immediately questions his motives, which I know most people hated, but I thought it was perfectly in character, and didn't hurt anything. The Outsiders bail as Hulk hits the ring, but instead of helping Savage, he hits him with the Legdrop, and the whole thing is ruled a no-contest at 17:00! The crowd is shocked as the three Outsiders beat down Sting and Savage, and Hogan delivers the nWo manifesto as the fans fill the ring with trash at an alarming rate. Hulk tells the WCW fans to go fuck themselves (not in those exact words, of course) because they never accepted him to begin with. He gives an amazing, endlessly quotable heel promo, saying without saying that they're invading from the WWF. Gene, and the announcers all play their parts beautifully, and the crowd is leveled. The match itself wasn't much before the big angle, but this was one of the best payoffs in all of wrestling history, so certainly an acceptable main event. * ¼ (Original rating: ½*)

BUExperience: This one sort of gets a pass just for historical reasons. Having one of the biggest angles of all time will do that for you. As a wrestling card, it’s no great shakes. Aside from the hot opener, the rest is pretty mediocre and forgettable. But, again, it’s got one of the most memorable and important angles ever done to cap it off, so it all kinda balances out.

**