WWE WrestleMania 35 (April 2019)

 

Original Airdate: April 7, 2019

From East Rutherford, New Jersey; Your Hosts are Michael Cole and Renee Young (RAW), Tom Phillips and Byron Saxton (Smackdown), with Corey Graves joining both teams. Like the last couple of years, I’ll be keeping track of the time between bells

We start with Alexa Bliss (host of WrestleMania) welcoming everyone to the show. Well 'start' in the sense that she shows up ten minutes in, after the opening video that's longer than most short films. And then she doesn't even say anything, instead just bringing Hulk Hogan out to pose with her. The giant screen that makes up the entire set (complete with reflection on the stage) is really disorienting

Opening WWE Universal Title Match: Brock Lesnar v Seth Rollins: Paul Heyman pushes past the Bliss/Hogan pose fest, marching down to the ring, and declaring that if Brock is going on any time before last, he's going on first, because he doesn't have time to waste. Funny bit, as Paul has a large fly land on his bald head during his rant, and it just kind of stays there. You know, like it might on shit. Luckily, Seth's dressed and ready for action. It would have been neat if they had him come out in street clothes, or something. Brock attacks during the entrances, and starts beating on Rollins on the outside, before the official bell rings. However, I'll consider that the 'start,' and will note that we're already eighteen minutes into the show at this point. So, anyway, Brock destroys him on the floor, and hits a quick F5 out there, then chucks Rollins into the apron and the barricade for good measure. Bell still hasn't gone here, but that doesn't stop Brock from continuing to unload, and he tosses Seth into an announce table next. Brock takes him in so the referee can officially start the match, but the ref refuses, so Lesnar tosses Seth right back over the top just to be a dick. Seth takes another trip into an announce table (taking out one of the poor German commentators in the process), and Brock puts him through one of the table hoods. Inside, the referee finally starts the match, and Brock unloads in the corner. He takes Seth to suplex city, as I guess now that he's killed a German with Seth, it's time to kill Seth with Germans. F5, but Rollins blocks, and throws a low blow to shake the champion off. Superkick hits, as does the curb stomp, but Rollins isn't quick enough to cover. He adds another curb stomp, but Brock is still moving too much, so Rollins delivers a third, and that's enough to win the Fruit Roll-Up belt at 2:32 of official time, 7:00 total. An exciting way to start the show, but even if you count the full seven minutes, this was a nothing match. ¾*

AJ Styles v Randy Orton: Jerry Lawler sits in on commentary for this one. Why does Orton have giant CGI turds on the stage for his entrance? Nine minutes between bells here. Feeling out process to start, with AJ dominating, until Orton takes the eyes, and throws a dropkick to take control. He puts the boots to Styles, but a charge is blocked when AJ throws his own dropkick, and Randy bails to the outside to regroup. AJ dives after him with a plancha, but ends up getting dropped across the barricade before he can follow up, and Orton hooks the leg for two on the way back in. Chinlock, but AJ fights free, and starts throwing spinning fists. Orton ends up in the corner, so AJ charges in with a forearm, and uses a fireman’s neckbreaker for two. Clash, but Orton blocks, and manages a snap powerslam for two. He tries the rope-hung DDT, but AJ counters to the Calf Crusher, and Randy needs the ropes to escape. Phenomenal Forearm, but AJ anticipates Orton's RKO counter, and head fakes him. Nice! That allows him to hit the springboard 450 splash for two, but the Phenomenal misses, and Orton uses the inverted headlock backbreaker to turn the tide. Randy delivers a gorgeous vertical superplex for two, and tries the rope-hung DDT again, landing it this time. RKO, but Styles counters with an enzuigiri, followed by a schoolboy for two. Both pop up, but Orton is able to land the RKO for two. He takes AJ to the top for another one, but Styles counters with a pele kick, and Orton ends up on the outside. That allows AJ to dive with a Phenomenal Forearm on the floor, but by the time he can get Randy in, Orton is recovering. Styles tries again, but Orton counters to the RKO - only for AJ to block by snapping Randy's throat across the top rope. That allows him to hit the Forearm, and we're done at 16:13. Did this really need sixteen minutes? It had some cool spots peppered in, but overall it was a really big drag. This needed less than ten to tell this same story effectively. And, apparently, this was originally scheduled to be the OPENER, which would have been a terrible choice. ½*

WWE Smackdown Tag Team Title Fatal Four-Way Match: The Usos v The Bar v Rusev and Shinsuke Nakamura v Aleister Black and Ricochet: First fall wins. Eleven minutes between bells here. You know, I'm really happy Black and Ricochet are getting called up, though it sucks that they're getting stuck in the tag division. Black starts with Jey Uso, and they criss cross, until Sheamus pulls down the top rope to send Jey flying. Sheamus comes in to trade off with Black, but Rusev tags himself in, and blasts Black with a clothesline. Over to Nakamura with a tandem move for two, but Jimmy Uso blind tags in during a criss cross, and sneak attacks Nakamura. Ricochet tags in to hit Nakamura with a springboard flying clothesline for two, but then Cesaro tags himself in - walking right into an insane headscissors takedown from Ricochet. Wow! Cesaro responds by giving Ricochet an equally impressive giant swing into a sharpshooter, but Jimmy Uso saves. He gets dumped, leaving Rusev and Black, and Black dominates with quick combos until Nakamura runs in to save. I see we're just throwing the illusion of needing actual tags out, and that's fine. With almost everyone else down on the outside, we're left with the NXT call-ups running a straight tag match with Rusev and Nakamura for a bit, but the Bar show up before Rusev can superplex Ricochet, and we end up getting a big tower of doom spot with everyone in the match. Well, except Black, who I assume was off getting another tattoo, or something. Ricochet manages to land on his feet during it, and he hits a dive onto Sheamus, but a bunch of gives rush in to break the count. Everyone trades strikes next, ending in Sheamus landing a Brogue Kick, but then taking stereo superkicks from the Usos. Usos go up on opposing top turnbuckles for stereo dives, and Sheamus is done at 10:05. An entertaining mess of spots. **

The Hall of Fame class of 2019 (D-Generation X, Honky Tonk Man, Brutus Beefcake, Torrie Wilson, The Hart Foundation, Harlem Heat, and Sue Aitchison) come out to take a bow. I liked some of the changes they made to the ceremony this year (both visually, and in trying to cut down on the length), but it still ended up going on forever. Also, DX doing the old act at their ages was kind of depressing. Torrie's speech was pretty great though (as was New Day's reaction to it), and the whole bit with Bret Hart getting jumped by some nut job was crazy

Falls Count Anywhere Match: Miz v Shane McMahon: Eighteen minutes between bells. We're now a full hour and a half into the show, and only starting the fourth (of twelve) matches. How great would it have been if Shane brought Howard Finkel out to show Greg Hamilton how to properly introduce him? I mean, it wouldn't have been the right fit for him to do that as the heel, but still. Shane makes Miz chase him around at the bell, and he stalls on the outside, before going after Miz's dad as a taunt. That causes Miz to chase him into the crowd, but Shane is ready, and catches him with a punch. Into the ring, McMahon keeps hammering him with punches until Miz goes down, so Shane can switch to kicks instead. Over to the announce tables, where Shane, not satisfied with the wussy tablets they use as screens these days, finds an old school CRT monitor to lay Miz out on a table with. McMahon heads in to dive, but Miz's dad (George Miz) hops the rail, and stands in his way. Shane challenges him to get into the ring, and since Miz's day is apparently a moron, he agrees. Come on, man! You've sat at ringside while Shane ran roughshod over half the roster like Hulk Hogan on an especially insecure day, and you're getting in there? You deserve whatever you get. Shane destroys him, of course, until Miz comes back to life to save him. Thank God Shane's the only one who gets to play with the CRT monitors, because this show would run an extra hour if everyone could, based on a damage they do. Miz beats Shane into the crowd, and they brawl over to one of the massive pillars that hold up the canopy over the ring, to trade bumps into. No! Someone please spare the Christmas lights! Do you know how long that took Clark to put up?! Shane hits a DDT on a platform for two, but gets dropkicked off said platform, and takes a bump into both the concrete floor, and a steel rail. Say what you will about how he's been booked over the last few months, but Shane certainly inherited the McMahon trait of going out and getting absolutely killed when the time comes. Miz goes to work with a chair next, beating Shane up the steps into the stands, until they end up in the area where most of the international announce teams are set up. Oh no, there may be more CRT monitors there! Miz puts Shane through one of the tables for two, and uses a (weak) tablet monitor to send McMahon bumping over the rail, and down to the concrete. Another crazy bump for McMahon here. They brawl over to the hard camera set up, where Miz hits a Skull Crushing Finale on the platform for two. Shane tries to run away by climbing up the scaffolding to where a higher level hard camera is set up, but Miz is on his ass, leaving McMahon to beg off. Miz shows no mercy, and decides to superplex Shane off the scaffold, and down onto the platform below - both guys crashing through it on the landing for the pin at 15:26. Yes, because Shane was technically on top of Miz's body, so he pins him. Yeah. Doesn't even really make sense, since they're in a pile of rubble, and the shoulders aren't on a level surface, but whatever. I didn't care for the finish, but this was generally well booked, choosing to run a crazy sports entertainment brawl where Shane can bump all over the place, instead of working a straight match. ** ¾

WWE Women's Tag Team Title Fatal Four-Way Match: Sasha Banks and Bayley v The IIconics v Nia Jax and Tamina v Natalya and Beth Phoenix: Paige sits in on commentary here, and the first fall wins. Watching this live, I thought Sasha looked annoyed (like, she didn't do her little pose at the top of the ramp), and now we know why. Good riddance, frankly. She's okay, but nowhere near as good/important as she seems to think she is. Eleven minutes between bells. Bayley and Tamina start, but Tamina isn't satisfied with that, and tries beating up everyone in the match. That doesn't go well for her, so Nia tries to help, but Natalya and Beth whip her into the steps. Dust settles on Bayley and Peyton Royce, with Bayley dominating on the mat, but Banks gets caught with a sunset flip from Peyton for two. Let's stop and talk about how bad Paige is on commentary for a second. I mean, I know it's not her main gig, but damn. She's making Renee sound like vintage Jim Ross. The IIconics double up on Sasha for a while, but Bayley manages to get the tag back in, and the champs fight off all comers with tandem moves. The dust settles on Bayley dominating Beth, but Billie Kay steals a blind tag, and the IIconics hit Phoenix with a combo for two. They try a tandem suplex, but Beth reverses, and Natalya tags in to help hit Billie with the Hart Attack for two. They try a combo on Banks, but Bayley saves, so Beth whips them into each other - backfiring in Sasha hooking the Bank Statement on Phoenix. Shitty execution, too. Beth powers into the Glam Slam, but Sasha counters with a victory cradle, only to send Beth right into a tag to Natalya. Natalya slams the champs onto each other to set up a double Sharpshooter, but Tamina runs into break it up. Nice to see she and Nia are back from nap time. Nia looks to nearly break poor Billie's leg with an awkward Samoan drop, and she and Tamina set the champs up for stereo flying splashes, but Beth shoves Nia off the top, and Tamina just sort of gives up on her end in response. Huh? Dive, woman! You can still win! Whatever, so the champs isolate Beth and go for the kill with dives, but Sasha's flying frogsplash only gets two. They take Beth up for a tandem superplex, but Natalya pulls Banks off with a spinning sitout powerbomb, allowing Phoenix to send Bayley to the mat with a Glam Slam off the top! Cover, but Peyton pulls Beth off, and Billie dives onto Bayley to steal the pin at 10:47! I'm not gonna lie, I love me the IIconics, and I marked out a little bit here. And I guess I'm not alone, because the crowd popped pretty big for it, too. The match was nothing good, but they kept the pace going, and didn't overstay their welcome. ¾*

WWE Title Match: Daniel Bryan v Kofi Kingston: I remember when Bret and Shawn were fighting over the title and people were shocked Vince would let such 'small' guys get to that level. Both look like beasts compared to these two. Thirteen minutes between bells. Feeling out process to start, with some nice, old school style exchanges and psychology. Kingston gets the edge with a dropkick to send the champ to the outside, and he dives with tope suicida, but Bryan bails again when Kofi tries to bring him back inside. It's moments like these where I miss Jesse Ventura chiming in about how he's the champ, and Kofi has to beat him. I can hear it in his voice. Daniel comes back in when he's good and ready, and tries a headlock, but Kofi forces a criss cross. Kingston throws a hip attack, but Bryan is ready for it, and counters him into a surfboard on the mat. Kofi escapes and starts pelting Bryan with kicks, so Daniel tries turning it into another criss cross, but this time Kofi is able to nail him with a knee for two. Legdrop follows, so Bryan bails, but Kofi is on him with a baseball slide. He tempts fate with another dive, but Daniel dodges this time, and Kingston crashes into an announce table. Bryan immediately capitalizes on the miss as they head back in, hammering on his challenger's back. He drapes Kofi across the top rope to set up a flying knee to the back for two, and then grounds the challenger in a waistlock. Daniel rolls it into a bridge for two, so Kofi starts throwing elbows to break free, but Bryan cuts him off with a drop-toehold into the middle buckle. He starts with cross corner dropkicks, so Kingston tries to block the third of those, but Daniel is ready for it - catching him in a Boston crab. Kofi makes the ropes, so Daniel punishes him with strikes in the corner, but a superplex attempt gets blocked. Daniel keeps trying again, but Kingston keeps elbowing him off to block, until Bryan gets the message, and stays down. That allows Kingston to dive with a flying splash on a hunched over champion for two, but Daniel blocks Trouble in Paradise. He tries for another Boston crab, but Kingston counters to a cradle, and manages a springboard bodypress for two - rolled through by Bryan for two. Daniel tries to ground him in the LeBell lock, but Kingston kicks him in the brain to block - only to miss a charge in the corner. That allows Bryan a charge of his own, but Kingston turns it into a sunset cradle for two, and quickly adds the SOS for two - countered by Bryan into the LeBell lock at the kick out! Despite Bryan's brutal grip and elbow strikes, Kofi still makes the ropes, so Daniel decides to punish him with Yes Kicks. He goes for the kill, but Kofi is ready for him with an inverted vertical suplex for two, so Bryan wisely bails. Kingston follows, but Rowan blocks his path out there, and he takes out New Day as well. That allows Daniel to hide back in the ring, but an attempt at a tope gets blocked with a right hand from the challenger - only for Trouble to miss for Kofi. That allows Bryan to blast him with the running knee for two, and man, this crowd is way into this, and CRAZY behind Kingston. Just shows what an incredible heel Bryan is, considering how over HE used to be with these same fans as the underdog challenger not too long ago. Bryan traps him in another LeBell lock, but Kofi starts to escape, so Daniel shifts it to a triangle. Kingston throws rights before Daniel can get it locked on though, and the challenger starts viciously stomping Bryan in the face like he owes him money. That's enough to property daze Bryan for Trouble, and we have a new champion at 23:45! And then New Day immediately rush in to tackle him with love and tears, as the other workers go crazy in the back, and the crowd fucking loses it. This whole thing has a great WrestleMania X quality to it, except instead of closing the show, it closes the first HALF of the show. Not that I think it ever should, but if WrestleMania ever became a two day festival type event, this would have been the perfect way to cap off the first night. It's also so nice to see a WrestleMania moment that doesn't feel forced or manufactured. *** ¾

WWE United States Title Match: Samoa Joe v Rey Mysterio: Booker T is here for guest commentary. Twelve minutes between bells. Joe blitzes him with a running big boot right at said bell, and goes for a powerslam, but Rey fights him off. Springboard flying headscissors sets up the 619, but a wheelbarrow bulldog is countered into the Coquina Clutch at a brisk 1:01. Well, that was certainly to the point. DUD

Roman Reigns v Drew McIntyre: McIntyre gets played out by the NYPD Emerald Society, while Roman just kinda shows up. Hmm, thought for sure he'd get a bigger entrance than that this year. Eleven minutes between bells. Drew tries to strike first, but Roman cuts him off, and beats him into the corner. Samoan drop gets a quick two, and Reigns corners him for a ten-punch, leaving McIntyre dazed on the ropes. Spear, but Drew is ready with a rotating spinebuster into a sunset cradle for two, and he dumps Reigns to the apron. He tries to knock him off, but Reigns counters with a guillotine legdrop, only to get dropped while heading back inside. Crowd seems spent after the Kofi match, and it looks like a lot of them are taking snack breaks. Drew with a suplex before tying Roman up on the mat, but Reigns knocks him back to the outside for a Drive-By - only for McIntyre to dodge. McIntyre with a suplex on the floor, and he brings Roman in with an insane inverted whiplash for two. The power display there was just... wow! He tries a superplex next, but Reigns knocks him down into a tree of woe - only for McIntyre to sit up, and slam him off the top anyway! This match isn't very good, but McIntyre's power and conditioning are impressive as hell. McIntyre slaps him across the face, but that triggers the Big Dog, and Drew ends up on the outside for the Drive-By. Roman is looking like Sawyer from LOSTs stunt double these days. He hits Drew with a Samoan drop on the outside before bringing it in for a jumping clothesline, and it's Superman Punch time. McIntyre tries to dodge, but Reigns rebounds with it anyway, and the spear finishes at 10:10. Not much to this one, and the crowd wasn't invested at all. Kind of felt like waste of Roman after everything, but I'm guessing the whole deal was cobbled together with leftovers once he was in for the show this year. ¾*

Elias comes out to do a bit where he (via two pre-taped bits of himself to go along with the live bit) plays guitar, piano, and drums at the same time, like he's Paul McCartney. Pretty neat, mostly because the massive entrance stage screen makes it work. So everyone seems to expect Undertaker to show up, but instead we get John Cena - dropping in as the Doctor of Thuganomics! Complete with Word Life knux, and everything. Though, really, his later character wasn't that much different from this one, he just turned down the volume on some of the louder traits. So, he roasts Elias for a bit before hitting the FU (named as such, to go along with the gimmick), and that's it. You know this segment was well done because I wasn't even watching regularly while Cena was doing this gimmick (and thus have very little nostalgia for it), but I still found it entertaining as hell. And though I'm sure it won't be, IF this was Cena's last WrestleMania appearance, it's kind of a perfect way to go out, bookending his first 'Mania appearance (also in a non-wrestling roll at WrestleMania XIX in 2003)

No Holds Barred Career Threatening Match: Triple H v Batista: If HHH loses, he retires. Though... isn't he already retired? I mean, I know he works a match once in a while, but he's hardly 'active.' Shawn Michaels joins us for guest commentary on this one. Triple H's patented over the top WrestleMania entrance this year has a Mad Max Fury Road theme. I personally look forward to his grandiose entrances every year, though this one was pretty average, and he did the whole Mad Max thing better at 32 in Dallas, anyway. I'm not sure he'll ever top the badass police escort one from 2017, honestly. Batista, meanwhile, rides out in a Cadillac Escalade, complete with a gang of bodyguards. Bodyguards wearing sunglasses at night, so you know they're the real deal. A full THIRTY minutes between bells here. THIRTY. They spill to the outside right away, with HHH taking a trip into the announce table, but then rebounding to tackle the Animal. Batista dumps him over the barricade, but HHH pops up with a literal toolbox to whack him with, and he finds a chain in there. Hunter uses the chain to whip then choke Batista with before whipping the big guy into the steps, and he grabs a wrench to go after Batista's fingers. I get that they want to get over the brutality, and I appreciate that they're taking advantage of the stips, but this barely qualifies as wrestling. And, anyway, we're four minutes in. Maybe build up to the part where you try to rip a guys fingers off with a wrench? I mean, it's gonna be kind of hard to top that now. But HHH is gonna try anyway, and he grabs a pair of pliers, pinning Batista to the ground with a chair, and ripping his nose ring out with them. He tries a dive off the apron with a chain, but Batista catches him with a slam on an announce table, and he whips him into the barricade a couple of times. Very slow and deliberate pace here, which is not what this match needs. Say what you will about Shane's match, but they kept things moving, and there wasn't much downtime. This match has been nothing BUT downtime and torture spots. Batista whacks him with a chair for two as they head back in, and a corner clothesline gets the Animal two. HHH fights back with a kneeling facebuster, but he has no follow-up, and Batista backdrop drivers him for two. Because they went right in to the weapon stuff, all of this feels really lame and tame in comparison. Like, one dude ripped another's nose ring out with pliers, and now I'm supposed to pop for a kneeling facebuster? To the outside, Batista stacks the steps up on an announce table, and he takes HHH up there for a Batista Bomb through another table, but Hunter counters with a backdrop. Table doesn't break, but HHH spears him through another one to make up for it. We're over fifteen minutes into this thing, and it's really time to wrap up, but it's obvious that we're not even close to the finish. They haven't even started trading signature moves yet. Also, basically this entire match has been worked around the announce tables thus far, which is crazy. HHH finds a sledgehammer as they go into the ring, but Batista spears it away from him for two, and grabs the weapon for himself. He goes after Hunter in the corner, but the Game steals the hammer back, so Batista spinebusters him. Batista Bomb gets two, so at least we're getting into the signature move trading portion of the match now. The light at the end of the tunnel is visible, don't give up, fans! Batista drags the steps into the ring to try a superplex onto, but HHH counters with a powerbomb, and he adds a quick Pedigree for two. You have to hand it to Batista. The dude is fifty years old, and has a Hollywood career, but he's going out there and going pedal to the metal with the bumps tonight. Not taking it easy in the least. HHH grabs the hammer again, but Batista DDTs him on the steps to block, so Ric Flair suddenly shows up out of nowhere. He distracts Batista, allowing HHH to deliver the kill shot with the hammer, and he punctuates it with the Pedigree at 24:46. Longest match of the night, as usual for HHH. You can't accuse either guy of taking it easy out there, but honestly, I think I would have preferred it if they had. I don't need to see two dudes whose combined age is nearly 100 years slowly torturing each other with weapons for twenty five minutes. ¾*


Kurt Angle v Baron Corbin: This is billed as Angle's 'farewell match,' and we have John Bradshaw Layfield out for guest commentary. A relatively brisk seven minutes between bells. Hopefully this match will be relatively brisk as well, because we're already four hours and twenty minutes into this show, and there are still several matches to go. Corbin tries to charge at the bell, but that ends badly, and he takes an overhead suplex after some pounding. Corbin goes to the eyes to shake Kurt off, and he does that bit where he slips in and out of the ring to disorient the opponent before striking again. You know, if the dude is already blinded, you don't need to go to that much effort to try sneaking up on him. Just saying. I get that a lot of today's workers are programmed to work a certain kind of match, and have trouble deviating, but come on. Corbin ropechokes him for a bit, so Angle fights him off with a three-alarm rolling German suplex, but gets nailed with a big boot while trying the Olympic Slam. Powerbomb, but Kurt counters to the Anklelock, only for Baron to block. That allows Corbin the Deep Six for two, but he misses a charge in the corner, and Kurt hits the Olympic Slam for two. He gets the Anklelock on this time, but Baron sends him into the corner to break, so Kurt uses another rolling German for three-alarms. That gets a standing ovation from the crowd, so Kurt decides to do one better with a flying moonsault, but Corbin dodges. End of Days, and end of Angle at 5:58. People bitched about Angle doing the job to the likes of Corbin here, but that was the right finish. You go out on your back. That's what the wrestling business is, and what it has always been. The match sucked, but it was all it needed to be, especially this late into such a long show. ½*

WWE Intercontinental Title Match: Bobby Lashley v Finn Balor: Eleven minutes between bells. Finn hits him with a spinheel kick right away, and adds a quick axekick. Running dropkick into the corner leads to Lashley on the outside for a somersault suicida, but Lashley manages to fight him off with a uranage on the way back in. Vertical suplex follows, so Balor bails to the apron, forcing Bobby to force him back in with another vertical suplex. Balor bails again, so this time Lashley just clotheslines him to the outside, and he sends the challenger into the barricade out there. Charge misses, however, allowing Finn a running dropkick into the barricade, and he rolls Lashley in - only to get distracted by Lio Rush, and speared off the apron by the champion. Lashley with another spear on the way in, but it only gets two, and Finn fights his way out of a powerbomb attempt. He throws knees to soften Lashley up for his own powerbomb, and the flying double stomp finishes at 4:02. Finn probably spent longer on the makeup job. This was quick and to the point. Pretty fun in general, but thankfully short, because we're definitely in that Red Rooster/Bobby Heenan just-get-to-the-damn-main-already section of this thing. * ½

Main Event: WWE RAW Women's Title and WWE Smackdown Women's Title Triple Threat Match: Ronda Rousey v Charlotte Flair v Becky Lynch: First fall wins both titles. Ronda has Joan Jett and the Blackhearts playing her out live, while Charlotte flies in on a helicopter, like dad Ric did at the Great American Bash back in 1985, complete with red carpet. Though, sadly, it isn't logistically possible to land INSIDE the stadium like Ric did on the ball field back then, so she has to land just outside, and then get into the building. Which takes, like, ten minutes. Kinda lessens the impact, but whatever, still cool. Sadly, there's no dude in overalls to greet her on the ground, like Ric had. Still, she's quickly becoming the female Triple H of awesome WrestleMania entrances. Meanwhile, Becky just walks out, though that's more fitting for her character than some over the top entrance. Twenty one minutes between bells, putting us right around the stroke of midnight as the match begins. Big stare down to start, until both Charlotte and Becky charge at Ronda. Becky gets her first, but Ronda fights her off, so Charlotte rushes in, but gets dumped to the outside as well. Ronda follows to slam them both on the outside, but she gets overwhelmed fighting a two front war, and Charlotte suplexes her into the barricade. That clears the way for Charlotte and Becky to go inside alone, and it's slugfest time. Charlotte wins by taking a swipe at the leg, and she starts cranking on the arm, but an attempt at Becky's finisher gets countered with a schoolgirl for two. Becky tries Charlotte's finish, but that gets blocked as well, and here's Ronda to knock them both down. She goes for the kill on Becky, but Charlotte saves, and Ronda ends up hanging upside-down on the ropes for Becky to baseball slide into. Pretty nasty bump there for Ronda there, smacking into the apron, and then the floor, ouch. Charlotte pounds Becky down for a kneedrop, but a flying moonsault is countered into the Dis-Arm-Her, and Ronda has to make the save. She tries an armbreaker on Becky right away, but Flair blasts her with a knee to block, and hits a double-Natural Selection for two counts on both opponents. She dumps Becky to the outside to focus on Ronda, and she starts unloading with chops, but Ronda trash talks her between blows, and returns fire with a big kick. She tries a triangle choke, but Charlotte counters to an elevated crab, so Becky runs in with a one-handed bulldog to save. That allows Becky to DDT them both at the same time for a pair of two counts, and a corner whip on Charlotte results in Flair flipping to the top rope, but Lynch is ready with a superplex for two. Meanwhile, Ronda has gotten to the top rope as well, and she dives with a flying bodypress onto both women for two, then traps them both in an armbreaker at the same time. Charlotte and Becky work together to powerbomb their way out of the hold (taking three-alarms to do it), and Flair quickly dumps Lynch to the outside to try and steal the pin, but Rousey kicks out at two. Becky's back, and she dodges a spear from Charlotte to allow her a belly-to-belly suplex for two, then takes Ronda down in the Dis-Arm-Her, with no Flair around to save! Ronda manages to fight her own way free, but gets trapped in another one on the ropes, but this time Charlotte is alive, and she big boots Becky into releasing her. Charlotte follows Lynch up with a Spanish fly off the top for two, nicely floating over into the cover there. Suplex for Ronda follows, but Becky is on her before she can even cover. She tries the Dis-Arm-Her, but Charlotte drops into the turnbuckles to block, and knocks Becky to the outside. That allows her to pound on Ronda's knee, and man, Rousey is just getting legitimately destroyed here. She's bruised up and bleeding in multiple places, and apparently she legitimately broke her hand, too. Charlotte punishes her with a ring post figure four, then goes for the kill with the standard one, but Rousey counters with a cradle for two. Charlotte gets the hold on on the second try, and bridges into the Figure Eight - only for Becky to dive in off the top to break. And now Charlotte is hardway bleeding from the arm as well. Lynch decides to bring a table in now, but takes so long getting it ready that Charlotte has recovered, and attacks. Becky ends up sprawled out on the table for Charlotte to try the flying moonsault on, but Ronda shoves her off the top rope before she can dive, and she unloads on Lynch in the corner. She goes for the kill, but Charlotte spears both opponents down for two, and Flair props the table up in the corner. She starts ramming Ronda's head into it repeatedly, but Becky comes over, and Flair has to stop and spear her for two. She tries to spear them both through the corner leaning table, but ends up going through it herself, leaving Ronda and Becky to slug it out in furious fashion. Ronda gets the takedown, and goes for the kill, but the bad leg it legitimately giving her trouble getting to a vertical base with Becky on her shoulders. She muscles through it anyway - only to have Lynch counter with a crucifix at 21:26. The execution of the finish was botched (with Ronda's shoulders clearly not pinned), and I thought it felt out of nowhere while watching live, but it came off better on the rewatch. Not the botched pin, but the fact that it didn't feel out of nowhere. Or maybe they were just getting too close to surpassing HHH's match in running time, or something, who knows. Anyway, as happy as I am that the women headlined, and as much as they absolutely deserved it this year, they also deserved better. This was the hottest angle coming in to WrestleMania, but by the time the match started (right at midnight on a Sunday night in New Jersey - five hours into the main show, and seven in if you count the Kickoff show), the crowd just didn't have the energy for this that it deserved. Heck, the workers probably didn't, either. Becky, in particular, looked tired. Even still, the best 'Mania main since 31 back in 2015, and a good way to break the wall down for the women as 'Mania main eventers. ***

BUExperience: At 5 hours and 24 minutes this breaks WrestleMania 33 and 34’s tied record for longest WrestleMania by a full fourteen minutes, and it’s just too damn much. I mean, there were a couple of good matches, a historic main event, and most of the right people went over, but that all kind of gets lost in the sheer length. 5.5 hours is a long, long time to watch anything, let alone something that’s best enjoyed with enthusiasm.

I don’t know how people watched this in one sitting. It took me four. I watched the entrances, other non-wrestling bits, and the main event on the night of, and then needed three sittings (over three days) to get through the matches. I really have no idea how the live crowd tolerated it, especially those who sat through the two hour Kickoff show, too.

Oh, and for those who kept track with me, the final between bells running time added up to about 172 minutes this year. Which is absolutely insane. I’m not saying they should cut out the grandiose entrances (which are as much a part of the show as the matches these days), but there absolutely is fat to trim. Maybe start with all the commercials? Like, we're some five hours into the show, rapidly approaching midnight on the East coast, and we really need a Miz & Mrs commercial wedged in between video packages?

*