Saturday, April 20, 2019

WWF Superstars (May 2, 1992)


Original Airdate: May 2, 1992 (taped April 8)

From Kalamazoo, Michigan; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Mr. Perfect

Big Boss Man v Mark Roberts: Boss Man was always consistently over. If he came along a few years later, I bet they'd have tried to do a little more with him. Not that he had a bad run, but he got lost in the shuffle a lot of the time. Neat spot here, where Boss Man is running through this jobber so fast and hard that even the REFEREE has to leapfrog him at one point, to avoid getting run down. Boss Man Slam finishes at 1:46 - with Boss Man not even bothering to cover for the entire count. And then afterwards, Boss Man handcuffs the poor jobber to the ropes, which is really weird, considering he's a babyface, and they have no beef. I mean, it's not like the jobber was a known heel, he's just a random scrub. I'm starting to think maybe Nailz was onto something. ¼*

Last week, Berzerker tried to straight up murder Undertaker. He's not in jail, though. He's on the streets. In fact, he's coming to your town soon! Buy tickets now! No wonder business was down. Also, why wasn't Boss Man going after THIS guy, instead of wasting his time beating up abusing innocent jobbers?

Papa Shango v Red Tyler: Tyler looks like a lost Von Erich brother. Hell, maybe he was. Based on some of the stories we've heard, doesn't sound like Fritz was especially good at keeping track of his offspring. Now I'm gonna wonder for days what they used in Shango's skull that made everyone in the crowd cover their noses like that. Considering it's wrestling, let's just assume it's in some way related to human fecal matter. Shango isn't impressed either way, and kills this bootleg Von Erich at 1:49. DUD

Tito Santana refuses to be a jobber any longer. Heck, he might even be WWF Champion by the end of the year. Yeah, yeah, sure - it sounds unlikely now. But, I mean, who are they gonna put it on if Randy Savage doesn't work out? Bret Hart? Come on now

Sid Justice is the top dog in the World Wrestling Federation. Yeah, that dog got run over by a car. Also, why 'top dog?' Why dog at all? Can't they be fish? 'The top fish in the World Wrestling Federation' has a nice ring to it

Tatanka v Brian Costello: Tatanka should really quit that running down the aisle in a fringe outfit thing now that Warrior is back. There's only room for one fringe running maniac per promotion, sorry. Try WCW. Actually, I'm kind of surprised he never did. He seems like exactly the type of guy (with exactly the type of resume) they would have scooped up during the height of the Monday Night Wars. End of the Trail finishes at 2:19. Afterwards, Rick Martel shows up to try and clean Tatanka up a bit, but Tatanka wants no part of this generous free spa day offer, and even shoves Rick off of the apron. That triggers a level five freak out from the Model, and he sprays Tatanka in the eyes with the cologne, then steals his ceremonial feathers for good measure. Well, that's what he gets for looking a gift horse in the mouth. DUD

Virgil gets really excited when the fans cheer his name. Like, really fucking excited. Boy, I hope that doesn't suddenly end for him. He might end up getting depressed

Shawn Michaels doesn't like sour grapes

Backstage, Tatanka is acting like a big baby at the eyewash center

Money Inc v Ron Cumberledge and Chris Hahn: Money Inc's WWF Tag Team Title is not on the line here. IRS' spiel is such great heel heat. It's such a perfect midcard heel character. Like, you know he won't be touching a top title ever, but as a JTTS beater, or tag guy, it's excellent. The whole team was a great fit, actually, giving Ted DiBiase a direction again and someone to play off of. Write Off finishes at 1:53. DUD

We take a look back at Randy Savage winning the WWF Title from Ric Flair at WrestleMania VIII. This leads to Gene Okerlund bringing the Macho Man out for a podium interview, and the fans are so excited that one poor kid in the crowd starts sobbing. No, but really, they love the guy. I know this run did horribly from a business standpoint, and Savage kind of took the blame from the office for it, but honestly, business would have been down that summer no matter who the champion was. Anyway, Savage is good and pissed that Flair forced a kiss on Miss Elizabeth after the match at WrestleMania, and if you thought Randy was mad before, you ain't seen nothing yet

Back when Crush was a kid, he once squeezed his balls so hard, that one popped. Poor bugger, no wonder he’s so weird now

High Energy v Duane Gill and Tom Bennett: Koko B. Ware is still wearing his 80s singles gear here, leaving Owen Hart too look like an asshole all by himself. And Hart still wanted to tag up with him after that?! If you let me go out there wearing that outfit, you're not my friend unless you wear one, too. Stereo missile dropkicks finish at 2:07. Pretty fittingly energetic. ¼*

WBF Championship show ad. It takes place June 13 in Long Beach California. And if you don’t care, you’re normal

Ultimate Warrior v Skinner: Whatever though. I mean, we already saw one fringe wearing maniac earlier, how am I supposed to get excited about him now? Skinner spits his chewing tobacco in Warrior's face at the bell, since I guess the similarities to Tatanka weren't enough already. However, unlike Tatanka, Warrior no-sells that shit, and destroys Skinner in the corner. Skinner gets dumped to the outside, where Warrior follows for a clothesline, and he hits another one on the way back inside. Jumping shoulderblock and a splash finish at a brisk 1:39. DUD

The Beverly Brothers are apparently undefeated. Wait, seriously? I found that hard enough to believe that I had to go and check, and yeah, not remotely true. They'd done jobs on house shows, and even at least one on TV to Jim Duggan and Sgt. Slaughter at the most recent Saturday Night’s Main Event

And speaking of Sgt. Slaughter, he's got visions of the WWF Title dancing in his head again. Uh, yeah, keep dreaming, pal

Next week, Ric Flair battles Sgt. Slaughter. Slaughter prepares by reading the 'Diamond Dallas Page Book of Insults,' and I don't know what Flair is saying because I'm too distracted by the NASTY scar he's sporting from his WrestleMania bladejob. Yuck!

BUExperience: Really nothing going on this week, as the big angle is a weird mash-up of ones they ran better elsewhere (Arrogance blinding part with Jake Roberts in 1990, and the feather stealing bit with IRS in 1994), but it continues to be an easy watch.

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