WWF Coliseum Video Collection: The Undertaker: The Face of Fear (1994)

 

WWF Coliseum Video Collection: The Undertaker: The Face of Fear (1994)

Coliseum Video compilation. The front cover of the tape features Undertaker, while the back promises to show him sending Yokozuna, Kamala, Crush, Adam Bomb, and Bam Bam Bigelow all ‘into the depths of darkness.’ Well, three out of five died very young, so mission accomplished...?

Your host is Paul Bearer, reporting from the loading dock of his funeral parlor. Remember how Paul Bearer's voice was really annoying to listen to as a kid? Well, here he is for a full hour, and with no buffer!

Undertaker v Adam Bomb: From a TV taping in Worchester Massachusetts, September 28 1993. Bomb sneak attacks, pounding Undertaker into the corner to start, and a cross corner whip ends in Undertaker getting dumped to the outside. Adam follows to bash him into the apron out there, and Undertaker takes a two-for-one trip into the post/steps next. Well, that was certainly efficient. Back in, Bomb keeps hammering, but Undertaker starts returning fire, so Adam goes to the eyes. Couldn't Undertaker just roll his eyes back to block? No matter, he starts no-selling moments later, and Bomb eats a chokeslam at 2:36. Speaking of efficient. DUD

Undertaker himself is hanging out in a graveyard, where he promises to extract from each of us a heavy price in our darkest hour. Fair way of describing this tape, honestly

Undertaker v Bam Bam Bigelow: Also from a TV taping in Worcester, but this one on May 4 1993. Do we really need Undertaker's full entrance for every match? It's like when you play a WWE 2K game... you watch that shit once, and then skip it every other time. Unless you get a new venue, or something. And this doesn't even meet THAT simple criteria, since it's the same stupid arena as the first match! Bam Bam tries slugging away at the bell, but gets absolutely nowhere with it, and Undertaker chokes his bald ass in the corner. Bigelow manages to block a charge, but a shoulderblock is no-sold, and Undertaker takes him down until Bam Bam bails. Undertaker chases, but this isn't Dawn of the Dead, so Bigelow is easily able to outrun the zombie, and take the high ground. And he STILL gets his ass kicked once Undertaker gets up anyway! Ropewalk forearm hits, but Bam Bam manages to duck the jumping clothesline, and he takes 'Taker to the outside for trips into the post and steps. All expense paid, sure, but was it a twofer? No? So fuck off. Back in, Bigelow uses a snapmare to set up a pair of headbutt drops, and a bodyslam sets up a third and fourth. Undertaker starts sitting up, so Bam Bam gives him a fifth, and that looks to leave him down for a bit. Bigelow capitalizes by going up for a flying headbutt, but Undertaker dodges, and Bam Bam decides to walk out - only to get cut off in the aisle by Tatanka! He beats Bigelow in (in full view of the referee, no less), and Undertaker finishes with a chokeslam at 5:08. Pretty standard Undertaker dark match from this era. He wrestled near the same match with Razor Ramon a bunch around this period too, with elbowdrops in place of the headbutt drops. ½*

Undertaker is so deadly that his image comes up as a negative on film!

Undertaker v Yokozuna: A TV taping dark match from San Antonio Texas on January 5 1993. Undertaker quickly hits a jumping DDT, but misses an elbowdrop, and Yoko clotheslines his dead ass over the top. Crowd is hot for 'Taker tonight! Mr. Fuji tries a cheap shot with the flagpole out there, but Undertaker no-sells, so Yokozuna sends him into the steps instead. Back in, Yokozuna somehow hits an avalanche, despite moving at the speed of fat. Legdrop follows, but Undertaker sits up, so Yoko belly-to-belly suplexes him. Undertaker sits up again, so Yoko starts beating on him with the salt bucket, and that's a DQ at 4:07. Barely a match. And this poor town had to suffer through this match again at Survivor Series in '94, too. DUD

Next, we get clips of the feud with Kamala to set up their Survivor Series match, which basically amounts to Kamala running away in terror a bunch of times, while Undertaker goes off into the woods to build a casket

Casket Match: Undertaker v Kamala: From Survivor Series 1992. This is the first of many, many Casket matches for the Undertaker - at this point called a 'Coffin' match, and you have to actually pin the opponent first. Kamala is terrified, and takes off running at the bell. Undertaker catches up with him (how fucking slow do you have to be to get caught by early 90s Undertaker?), and he hits the ropewalk forearm. Undertaker with a turnbuckle smash and a short clothesline to setup some choking, but he telegraphs a backdrop, and gets pounded. Kamala clotheslines him over the top, but Undertaker lands on his feet and chokes out Kamala's entourage, so the Ugandan Giant attacks with a chair. Back in, Kamala hits a bodyslam, but Undertaker completely no-sells it. Again, but Undertaker sits right back up. I love how Kamala's shocked at that, as if he'd just hit a brainbuster, or something. It's a basic bodyslam, dude. A third slam seems to get some traction, however, and Kamala adds a series of three splashes. Kimchee grabs the urn from Paul Bearer, but Kamala is too scared of it, and Undertaker knocks him out with it for the pin at 5:27. Terrible, but at least it was short. Also, I really liked they actually had him nail it shut, instead of just closing the lid. Just much more satisfying. DUD

Undertaker v Crush: Dark match from a TV taping in Springfield Massachusetts on November 30 1993. Crush attacks from behind, but quickly gets dropped with a DDT. Undertaker tries an elbowdrop, but misses, allowing Crush to clothesline him over the top. He goes after him, but the Deadman snaps his throat across the top rope to block, and hits the ropewalk forearm on the way back in. Johnny Polo (on commentary) is quick to note that both Quebecers can do that too, so we shouldn't be too impressed. Undertaker tries a jumping clothesline, but Crush dodges, and a superkick knocks him to the outside. Crush successfully goes after him out there this time, sending Undertaker into the apron, and beating on him with a chair as Fuji distracts the referee. Gorilla is all over that, of course, leading Polo to agree that referee Bill Alfonso is pretty bad - though not as bad as "that Joey Marella guy." Monsoon and Polo were an underrated team. Probably because not only didn't it last very long, but they were paired up during one of the least popular periods in the promotions history. Back in, Crush unloads a series of kicks, and rakes the eyes ahead of a turnbuckle smash, but Undertaker no-sells. He chokes Crush against the turnbuckles, and uses a cross corner whip, but takes too long following in, and Crush hits a backbreaker. Undertaker sits up, so Crush decides to give him an impressive press-slam (with multiple presses, to boot), but Undertaker still sits up. This time he hits the jumping clothesline, so Crush tries a tombstone to put this away, but gets predictably reversed at 7:02. This was fine. Paint-by-numbers, but fine. *

Bearer signs off, promising to treat us to more some other time. Sounds more like a threat. And, in fact, they made good on it with an equally appalling tape the following year. Except that one was hosted by Ted DiBiase, probably because Bearer couldn't stomach watching these matches more than the one time at ringside

BUExperience: This is such a lazy tape, that even the Network guys list one of the matches as ‘Yokozuna v Paul Bearer.’

Not a good addition to your Coliseum Collection