WWE WrestleMania 25 (April 2009)

 

Original Airdate: April 5, 2009

From Houston, Texas; Your Hosts are Jim Ross, Michael Cole, and Jerry Lawler

Opening Money in the Bank Ladder Match: Montel Vontavious Porter v Kane v Shelton Benjamin v Christian v CM Punk v Mark Henry v Finlay v Kofi Kingston: Money in the Bank as a yearly WrestleMania thing was a much better fit than branching off as a separate pay per view. Kane and Henry clean house to start, giving them a chance to slug it out. Mark gets the better of that and hits an avalanche in the corner, but Christian and Shelton return wielding a ladder, and take both guys out. Kofi dropkicks the ladder back at them, however, but gets dumped to the outside again, allowing Kane and Mark to climb opposite sides of the same ladder. The rest of the gang run in to put a stop to it, and now we've got side-by-side ladders for everyone to climb at the same time. Yeah, because that always works. Kane and Henry tip them over, and Kane wins another slugfest with Mark to clear the ring. He climbs, but Mark is back to tip him off, but here comes Finlay. Mark chucks the ladder at him, but Finlay ducks, and Henry nearly kills half the ring crew as the ladder crashes on the outside. Boy, that was a close one. Everyone ends up on the outside for a dog pile sequence, including an insane dive from Shelton from a very tall ladder in the aisle. He didn't really stick the landing, but it was still a cool eye-popping spot. Henry decides he wants to do a big dive, too, but Finlay attacks with the whappin' stick to put a stop to that, and Hornswoggle comes in with a mini-ladder to set up a dog pile dive of his own. These repeated dog pile sequences are the worst. Like, how phony do you want to look. Finlay tries climbing, but Kofi dropkicks him before he can, so Finlay chucks Hornswoggle's mini ladder at him. Finlay finally climbs, but Kofi comes back again with Trouble in Paradise to knock him off. Now he climbs, but Mark tips the ladder. He tries setting it up, but Kofi runs up the side before Henry even gets it there, so Mark slams him onto a ladder for his efforts. That was a neat sequence. Mark climbs, but MVP attacks with a ladder to stop him. MVP climbs, but Shelton comes in, so MVP tries to suplex him, but gets blocked. That leads to a sequence that ends in Shelton springboarding off of a ladder, but Porter catches him in a powerbomb. He climbs, but Punk hustles up the opposite side to slug it out, until Christian stops them both - bringing Punk off of the ladder with an Unprettier in the process. All that ends in MVP climbing again, but Shelton chases him up the other side. He tries a sunsetbomb to bring him off, but they botch it, and end up just kind of collapsing. It didn't look phony, at least. Benjamin grabs Porter with another powerbomb anyway, this time dropping him over the top, onto Tony Atlas. Nice spot. Shelton climbs, but Christian comes up the other side. He manages to tip Shelton off while still somehow staying on the ladder, but Punk stops him from betting the case, and grabs it himself at 14:24. Felt like it had more than its share of clichéd spots, but also featured some truly impressive athleticism, especially from Kingston and Benjamin. Still, good way to open. ** ½

Miss WrestleMania 25-Woman Battle Royal: We've got: WWE Women's Champion Melina, WWE Divas Champion Maryse, Alicia Fox, Beth Phoenix, Brie Bella, Eve Torres, Gail Kim, Jackie Gayda, Jillian Hall, Joy Giovanni, Katie Lea Burchill, Kelly Kelly, Layla, Maria, Michelle McCool, Mickie James, Molly Holly, Natalya, Nikki Bella, Rosa Mendes, Santino Marella (as Santina), Sunny, Tiffany, Torrie Wilson and Victoria, with Mae Young out as the guest timekeeper. Kid Rock performs So Hott as the women make their entrances, sans introductions. And this is a terrible battle royal, with no storyline, just random people getting dumped every now and then. Even the announcers don't really have much to say here, because there's no story being told in there. Lawler still wants to jerk it to Sunny, so I guess that's a talking point? It's hard to believe she was only 36 at this point, she looks much older. But I guess it's the miles. Torrie (who is basically the same age as Sunny, yet looks younger NOW than Sunny did in 2009) actually gets dumped not over the top, but still leaves, so I guess winning this thing is that big a deal. We finally get down to Melina, Beth, and Santina, with Santina shoving them both over the top for the win at 6:08, just to show what a farce this whole thing is. DUD

Handicap Elimination Match: Chris Jericho v Roddy Piper, Ricky Steamboat, and Jimmy Snuka: Piper starts, and he tackles Jericho down for some shots right away, before going tumbling over the top with him on a clothesline. Back in, Piper hits a sunset flip for two, and a kinda dropkick. Into the corner for punches and turnbuckles smashes, and he tags out to Snuka for his turn at getting some shots in. Not much from him, just a few chops, and it's over to Steamboat for a flying tomahawk chop. Pair of armdrags leave Jericho in an armbar, as Chris is going out of his way to make these guys look like threats. Snuka tags back in for a headbutt, but takes too long celebrating, and Chris eliminates him with a Walls at 3:34. Well, that makes sense, since he was easily the most limited of the bunch. Piper rushes in to pound Jericho with kicks, and he tries a Sleeper, but Chris quickly escapes, and sends Roddy home with an enzuigiri at 4:34. So that leaves the Dragon, and he comes in with a flying bodypress for two as soon as Chris is vertical. Jericho cuts him off with a clothesline, so Ricky decides to throw chops, but Chris shakes him off with a snapmare into a half-nelson. Steamboat escapes, so Chris dumps him over the top, but Ricky skins the cat back in, and backdrops Jericho out. Dragon dives with a plancha, and he rolls Jericho back in for another flying tomahawk. Chops and a rollup get two, but Chris fights him off with chops of his own, and lands a one-handed bulldog. Lionsault misses, allowing Steamboat a powerslam for two, but Jericho gets him in the Walls! Ricky manages a cradle to escape, but Chris kicks out at two. Oh man, I totally bought that as the finish. Chris with a side suplex, but Ricky blocks, only to run into the Codebreaker at 8:46. Steamboat looked surprisingly good out there. Not anywhere near his peak, obviously, but not embarrassing like Snuka. This was not a great match by any means, but it was fun, and didn't overstay its welcome. Afterwards, Ric Flair comes in to try and get some revenge for his fellow legends, but Jericho fights him off. That leads to Chris calling out Mickey Rourke (in the crowd, hot off of The Wrestler), with Mickey coming into the ring and knocking him out to end the segment. * ½

Extreme Rules Match: Jeff Hardy v Matt Hardy: Matt's dressed like AJ Styles here. Jeff tackles him down right away, and they spill to the outside, where Jeff breaks a framed commemorative picture over his brothers head. Why would that even be underneath the ring? Let's face it, most stuff they find under there makes little sense, but I found that one to be especially perplexing. Jeff with a springboard off of the steps, but he misses one off of a chair on the way back in, and an attempt at a Whisper in the Wind goes even worse when Matt hits him with a chair to knock him out of the air. That gets two, so Matt finds a vacuum cleaner to hit his brother with for two. We're veering into WCW Hardcore title era stuff here, God help us. Matt with a Side Effect onto a chair for two, so he bootchokes Jeff in the corner, then wraps him around the post for more abuse. Matt sets up a table and attempts to suplex Jeff off of the apron and through it, but Jeff blocks, and dives off of the apron with a bodypress on the floor. Jeff with a leg-feed corkscrew kick into the steps, and he finds a kendo stick to attack with. He puts Matt in a trash can to whack with a crutch, and then adds a slingshot dropkick for two. Jeff with a sitout gourdbuster to set up the Swanton Bomb, but Matt dodges, and hits the Twist of Fate for two. Matt with mounted punches, but a trip to the top rope ends badly when Jeff superplexes him off. Chairshot knocks Matt to the outside, where Jeff puts him on the table from earlier, then stacks a second table on top of that, and puts him through both with a flying splash. I'm surprised Matt didn't move, considering it took Jeff about a full half hour to set that whole thing up. Inside, that all just gets two, so Jeff finds himself a ladder. Well, at least finding that one makes sense. Jeff takes another half hour setting up a pair of ladders for a crazy flying legdrop, but Matt rolls out of the way, and puts Jeff's head through gap in a chair for a Twist at 13:11. This was okay, but I can't help but feel that a straight match would have been so much better. Just let them do their thing, instead of fumbling around finding/setting up weapons and stuff. **

WWE Intercontinental Title Match: John Bradshaw Layfield v Rey Mysterio: First Intercontinental Title match at WrestleMania since way back in 2002, which is crazy to the child version of me. Bradshaw beats him up before the bell, but misses the Clothesline from Hell once it actually rings, and Rey hits a quick 619 to set up a flying splash at 0:21 (0:54 total). These two had a good match back at Judgment Day '06, and probably could have had one here too, but this wasn't really a match. Afterwards, JBL quits. And that actually stuck, as aside from a one off Royal Rumble match appearance in 2014, he hasn't laced up the boots since. DUD

Undertaker v Shawn Michaels: Shawn sticks and moves in the early going, so Undertaker tries literally throwing him around, but Shawn is too slippery. Shawn fakes a knee injury to sucker Undertaker into a tackle, and Bret Hart must have been frantically pointing at his screen right there if he was watching this. Undertaker finally gets hold of HBK, and a corner whip rebounds Shawn into a backdrop. Press-slam sets up an elbowdrop for two, and the ropewalk forearm connects. Corner big boot doesn't, however, and Shawn capitalizes with a kneebreaker. He clips the leg to put Undertaker on his knees, and an enzuigiri puts him all the way down. Shawn tries for a figure four, but Undertaker blocks, so Michaels stomps him in the crotch a few times to allow him to apply it. Well, that certainly works. Undertaker slugs free, so Shawn dropkicks the leg, but his attempt at a follow-up ends badly when Undertaker catches and corners him for right hands. Cross corner whip sets up a corner clothesline, and Undertaker adds a second one for good measure. Snake-eyes sets up a big boot, and Undertaker adds a legdrop for two. Chokeslam, but Shawn counters to a crippler crossface, so Undertaker tries rolling it into a cradle, but Shawn holds on through his kick out. That forces Undertaker to power to a vertical base in the hold and use a sidewalk slam to escape, so Shawn starts sticking and moving again. He manages to hit Undertaker with a jumping forearm, and he adds a pair of inverted atomic drops. Jumping clothesline puts a battered 'Taker back down for the flying elbowdrop, but Undertaker catches him in a chokeslam on the way down. Shawn counters to a Superkick, but Undertaker hits the deck to dodge, and grabs Michaels in a triangle choke, but Shawn is in the ropes very quickly. They spill to the outside on the break, where Undertaker sends him into the steps, but misses the guillotine legdrop. Shawn capitalizes with a baseball slide, but a flying moonsault press on the floor misses. Well, I mean, that one pretty much always misses. But this time they actually act like it misses. The referee teases stopping the match, but Shawn refuses to quit, so Undertaker dives out after him with a suicida. He ends up hitting the camera man instead, in a nice callback to the Badd Blood match in 1997. Unfortunately, 'Taker looks like he legitimately almost broke his neck on the landing. Looked like the worker playing the camera guy was out of position there. Well, anyway, he's not dead, so the match continues. He is in danger of getting counted out, though, with Shawn dragging the referee into the ring to try and get him to make said count, but the official is battered from taking a spill on the outside during the dive. He finally starts counting, but Undertaker manages to beat the count back in, so Shawn revs up the band. Superkick, but Undertaker counters with a chokeslam for two. Tombstone triggers a reversal sequence ending in Shawn planting a Superkick on him for two, but whatever the follow up is gets blocked by the Last Ride - Shawn's attempts at a block not working. It only gets two, so Undertaker goes up for a flying elbowdrop, but Michaels moves. They stagger up, and Undertaker tries tossing him over the top, so Shawn skins the cat - right into a Tombstone for two. Another Tombstone, but Shawn counters with a DDT on the way down, and he dives with the flying elbowdrop. Superkick connects, but 'Taker kicks out at two. Both guys stagger up for a slugfest, won by Undertaker with a big boot. Tombstone, but Shawn blocks, and throws chops. Cross corner whip, but Undertaker reverses, only for Shawn to block the corner charge. That allows Shawn to go up for another go at the flying moonsault press, but this time Undertaker catches him in the Tombstone to keep the streak alive at 30:42. Honestly? I don't really see the big deal with this one. I remember people going nuts for it at the time, and its reputation has held up for over a decade, but I don't see more than just a really good match. Really good, but not great, and certainly not legendary. And I don't say that to be contrarian, I just honestly don't see it. Like, the complexity of the spots isn't particularly above their usual pay grade. The story is good, but again, nothing they didn't do often. The multiple finisher/signature move kick outs and reversals had been done to death, even in 2009. Shawn worked the leg early, and it was completely forgotten about after the first third of the match. There was extensive downtime (even when taking into account that they are selling). I really didn't find that there was anything particularly unique going on between the ropes here, and neither guy really ventured out of his comfort zone. I guess I just don’t see it, and even in my original review (back in 2012) I thought it seemed way overrated, and even more so now. *** ½ (Original rating: ****)

World Heavyweight Title Triple Threat Match: Edge v John Cena v Big Show: First fall wins it. Cena goes at both guys to start, but gets overwhelmed quickly, and goes down to a shoulderblock from Show. Edge thinks that means he has an alliance with Show now, but getting dropped crotch-first across the top rope quickly dissuades him of that notion. Cena tries to hit Edge with the Attitude Adjustment, but Show stops him, which seems like a flawed strategy. Like, let him do the move, and then stop the cover. Why stop him from inflicting damage? Anyway, all that ends with Edge taking a breather on the outside, while Show beats on Cena in the corner. Show with a pop-up flapjack, but a big boot misses, allowing Cena to dump his fellow challenger over the top. Edge is waiting out there with a dropkick to the leg, and Cena dives with a flying rocker dropper on the floor for the giant. That was a pretty big spot that they just totally undersold. Cena is down from the impact as well, allowing Edge to roll him in, but it nearly backfires when John grabs him for the AA. Edge manages to counter with a DDT for two, but he gets knocked to the floor while going to the top rope, and Show sneaks up with a sidewalk slam on Cena for two. Cena fights back, but Chavo Guerrero trips him up, forcing John to deal with him via an AA on the floor. He hustles back in to tie Show up in the ropes, and dodges an incoming Edge with the side suplex to set up the Five Knuckle Shuffle. AA, so Vickie Guerrero distracts him, but it backfires when Edge's spear attempt knocks her off of the apron. That allows John to schoolboy the champion for two, but both guys collide while running the ropes for a double knockout. Show gets loose of the ropes as they recover, and he barrels into both, taking control of the bout. Show sandwiches them both in the corner for a double avalanche, but a double Chokeslam attempt only goes through on Edge. That allows Cena to try the AA, but Show is too big, and easily blocks. Meanwhile, Edge has wisely bailed to the outside to avoid getting covered, so Show follows him for a Chokeslam on the floor, but Edge counters with a DDT out there. He follows by tackling Show through the barricade, and he rolls a downed Cena in to cover for two. Spear, but John uses a drop-toehold to counter to the STF! He manages to keep Edge off the ropes, but Show comes back to save him. Show tries a pump-splash, but Edge dodges, and he and John work together to vertical suplex Show. They decide to keep working together to clothesline Show over the top, but Edge immediately turns on his challenger afterwards with a big boot for two. Cena fights back with the Throwback, but Show shoves him off the top as he sets up the flying rocker dropper - right into a spear from Edge for two. Cool spot in theory, but it looked awkward in practice - almost like Cena was DDT'ing Edge. Edge grabs a sleeper on Show, but he can't really hold it, so John gives the big guy an AA, and then gives Edge one ONTO Show - Cena covering Show to win the title at 14:43. People will probably think I'm trolling, but I actually really liked this one, and found it right on par with Undertaker/Michaels. The highs weren't as high, but it also had far fewer dead zones, pretty much all action, with hard work all around. And it's a testament to their skills that they actually had the crowd engaged while trying to follow Undertaker/Michaels. *** ½

The Hall of Fame class of 2009 (Steve Austin, Terry Funk, Dory Funk Jr, Bill Watts, Howard Finkel, Koko B. Ware, The Von Erich Family (represented by Kevin), and Ricky Steamboat) come out to take a bow. Of all the great Stone Cold shirts over the years, that original one really was the best. And it's hard to believe Austin was 'only' retired for six years at this point, as it already feels like a lifetime has passed

Main Event: WWE Title Match: Triple H v Randy Orton: HHH can lose the title if he's counted out or disqualified. Losing the title would suck, but losing that particular belt certainly wouldn't. I like how the buildup to this features Randy attacking HHH's wife to get heat... and then they'd run pretty much the same trick with him again to set up the Edge match at WrestleMania 36. Orton appears to literally be moving in slow motion during his entrance here. Like, was the show running short? Is he recovering from surgery? Move it! HHH tackles him down for some mounted punches to start, and then into the corner for more right hands, and right boots to boot. The referee pulls them apart, allowing Orton to snap off an RKO, but he doesn't cover. Instead, he wants to throw the punt, but Hunter dodges, and hits a Pedigree. He's too battered to cover, but they end up spilling to the outside, where HHH steals some water from Evander Holyfield (in the crowd) to try and get his mind right. He sends Randy into the post out there, and inside, he delivers a catapult underneath the bottom rope. Hunter works the neck until Orton bails, so the champ follows, but gets reversed into the steps out there. The match isn't bad so far, but it's been way too methodical, and they're losing the crowd. Randy sends him into the barricade and heads in to try for a countout, but the champ beats it, so Orton welcomes him back with a volley of stomps. Orton works the neck now, as the crowd gets distracted by something going on in the stands. Probably some guy who didn't think Shawn/Undertaker was an all time classic getting lynched, or something. Orton with a snap powerslam for two, and he works the chinlock, as the match starts to die. HHH escapes and makes a comeback, but Orton counters the Pedigree with a catapult into the corner. He tries a charge on a battered HHH, but the champ blocks with a clothesline for two. He takes Randy into the corner for a ten-punch, but the challenger counters with a hotshot. That sets up a dive off the middle, but Hunter lifts his boot to block. Pedigree, but Orton uses a cradle to block. RKO, but Hunter shoves him into the corner, and schoolboys for two. He manages to add a rotating spinebuster, and his taunts are feeling especially videogame-like tonight. Pedigree, but Orton counters with the inverted headlock backbreaker for two, so Hunter gets himself to the top rope for a dive, but Randy throws a dropkick to block. They're not really connecting with this crowd properly, and need to go home soon. Orton sets up the punt, but Hunter catches the leg, and flips him over the top to block. He follows to send Randy into an announce table, and he grabs a monitor to bash his challenger with, but the referee reminds him that he will lose the title if he gets disqualified, so the Game thinks better of it. Instead, he decides to Pedigree Orton through the table, which is... less of a DQ... apparently? Doesn't matter anyway, as Randy backdrops him onto the table to block, and then delivers an elevated DDT on the floor for good measure. Randy rolls in to take his countout title win, but HHH beats the count in again. Well, with that slow ass count, no shit. Randy puts the boots to him, but HHH won't stay down, and the referee ends up getting bumped as they slug it out. Randy wins the exchange with an RKO, but the official is down, so Orton decides to grab a sledgehammer to finish the job in his absence. It backfires when HHH hits him with a punt on the way back into the ring, however, and Hunter bashes him with the weapon. Still no referee, so HHH has to stay on Orton with mounted punches as he waits for him to recover, and the Pedigree hits as soon as the official is back in business - retaining at 23:34. That finish, while totally logical, fell really flat. On paper, Hunter just pounding the shit out of Orton and then giving him a Pedigree as the cherry on top sounds fine, but in practice it felt like a downer. They had a hot enough start, and I liked the unique bit with the finishers right from the get-go, but ultimately this was too slow and too long to work as it needed to. This needed more of a brawl element, and instead it was mostly just a straight wrestling match. HHH was also doing a bad job of playing babyface here, with his comebacks not connecting at all, and even the announcers sounding bored. * ¾

BUExperience: A decidedly mediocre WrestleMania, but certainly not a bad one. It’s actually a very easy 4 hour watch, and has some historical significance, though it’s missing a standout great match to make it especially memorable. And, yes, I understand that I’m in the minority on that particular point.

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