WWF Superstars (July 4, 1992)

Original Airdate: July 4, 1992 (taped June 1)

From Hamilton, Ontario, Canada; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Mr. Perfect

High Energy v Bob Bradley and Joe Milano: Well, nice to see that Todd Parker and Rahad Jackson put their differences aside. If those two guys can make it work, the world has hope. Or maybe this was the prequel? High Energy finish Joe off with the missile dropkick/somersault cradle combo at 1:55. Well, it was energetic. High energetic. Get it? ¼*

Gene Okerlund is here with an update on the Big Boss Man/Nailz hubbub, complete with another replay of Nailz's debut attack. Boy, they really got a lot of mileage out of replaying clips in those days, didn't they? It's funny, if you combine all their weekly shows from this era, it's probably still shorter than an episode of RAW is today, and they still do tons of extended replays and slow burn angles

Rick Martel v Jason Knight: Martel still has Tatanka's feathers here, since apparently Rick is such a tough guy that Tatanka can't just, I dunno, run back out and get them? Like, he's spent time getting back to his roots, he's cut dozens of promos... just DO SOMETHING, you jobber. Martel with the Boston Crab at 2:09. I'm honestly surprised Knight never got a chance in either of the big two, especially during the period where they were really hurting for talent. ¼*

WWF Fan Club ad. It's FUN!

Crush v Kerry Davis: Some little fucker's eatin' stuff in the crowd. Sorry, not relevant, but I don't want you to miss a thing. I'm not that guy. Speaking of 'little fuckers,' what trailer park did David crawl out of? Holy shit, look at that mullet! Crush with the headvice at 1:41. DUD

Kamala wants to go canoeing

Davey Boy Smith is training so hard his tits might explode right off of his chest!

Papa Shango v Joe McMullen: Papa dry humping the air is never not creepy. Shango curses Joe's knee before the bell, and then goes to work on that, before finishing with... an inverted shoulderbreaker at 1:10. Well, that's one way to do it. The kids still look pretty scared of the big Papi, at least. DUD

Kerry Von Erich is sick of people challenging his guts. He also promises to share more about the WWF road schedule, but then never does. Jerk. I actually have always wondered how guys used to hit the gym so often with the crazy road schedule they had in those days. Like, they were in and out of towns, often not in nice hotels with on-site gyms, sometimes working two shows a day... and still managed to find time and places to work out regularly. It's actually rather impressive

Ric Flair and Mr. Perfect like when people point at them. Hmm, I was raised that it's rude to do that, but if people like it, fuck it, I'm pointing away

Sgt. Slaughter v Barry Hardy: I have no idea why Slaughter was still getting TV time at this point. I'm guessing only because he's so obviously not on steroids. At least for the home crowd it's Fourth of July. The poor assholes in the building had to suffer through him in June. But then, they're Canadian anyway, so not like the Fourth of July means much up there anyway. So, enjoy Slaughter. Cobra clutch finishes at 1:40. DUD

The 1992 WBF Championship is now available on home video. Even Coliseum Video was too smart to bother with this bullshit

Okerlund brings Repo Man out for an interview, fresh off of stealing (sorry, repossessing) some kids bike. Hey, little Timmy needs to learn that a man pays his debts sometime. It's nice of Repo to help out. Apparently he'll be facing Davey Boy Smith at SummerSlam, and BOY did that sure change

Bret Hart v Barry Horowitz: Bret's WWF Intercontinental Title is not on the line. Funny inside joke to the booking here, as Barry used to work as 'Brett Hart.' Also Bret (real Bret) is super over here, and it's becoming more and more obvious why they went with him when they needed a guy in October. He may not have been the next Hulk Hogan, but he was over, dependable, a great worker, and didn't look like a steroid abuser. Sharpshooter finishes at 1:46. ¼*

Razor Ramon is on the streets of New York, giving great advice to all the bambinos ('forget about school'), and pushing around fruit vendors. About time somebody put them in their place. Razor comes off like the most badass motherfucker who ever motherfucked here

WBF Body Stars ad, featuring Lex Luger

The Beverly Brothers v Scott Taylor and Phil Apollo: Some woman in the crowd appears to have time traveled back from 1995, based on the WWF logo on her sweatshirt. Also, why is she wearing a sweatshirt? It's June! The Beverly's still have an issue with the Legion of Doom here, but considering LOD are busy playing with dolls now, their 'Legion of Sissies' taunts are sounding more and more justified by the moment. Shaker Heights Spike finishes at 1:22. DUD

Tatanka wants his feathers back. Here we go again. Just have your mom call the teacher, or something, you damn pansy

Mountie wants to ass-fuck Sgt. Slaughter. Don't we all?

BUExperience: Well, we’re into July now, so hopefully the SummerSlam build starts soon, because these aimless episodes (without even any feature matches) are getting hard to watch.