ECW Barely Legal (Version II)

  

Original Airdate: April 13, 1997

From Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; Your Host is Joey Styles

Opening ECW World Tag Team Title Match: The Dudley Boyz v The Eliminators: Sign Guy Dudley tries attacking the challengers before the bell, but eats a Total Elimination. That allows the champs to attack, however, and Buh Buh Ray Dudley powerbombs John Kronus to set up a flying headbutt drop from D-Von Dudley for two. Buh Buh with a tilt-a-whirl slam on Perry Saturn for two, and the champs give Kronus a vertical suplex/flying bodypress combo for two. They try another combo on Saturn, but Perry flips over them, and knocks both champs over with a dropkick. That allows Kronus a spinheel kick on Buh Buh, and the challengers give D-Von a pair of enzuigiris. Stereo superkicks corner Buh Buh, and they slam both challengers to set up flying twisting splashes on each man. That's enough to clean house, and draws an 'ECW' chant to boot. The new ring and guardrails gives this show a slightly more polished look than usual, but the sound quality is so bad here that it's distracting. The Eliminators take turns diving with moonsault presses on the outside, and Saturn hits D-Von with a springboard flying spinheel kick on the way back in. Kronus adds a handspring backelbow on Buh Buh, and a bodyslam on him sets up a flying elbowdrop from Saturn. Saturn with a bodyslam on Buh Buh to set up a springboard flying moonsault, and Kronus slams D-Von to set up a flying 450 splash. The crowd is eating it all up here. D-Von bails, allowing the challengers to double up on Buh Buh, and the Total Elimination crowns new champions at 6:15. A little all over the place, but a fun start to the show, and the pop for the title change was huge. ** ½ (Original rating: * ¾)

Lance Storm v Rob Van Dam: This was scheduled as Storm taking on Chris Candido, but Chris is legitimately injured, so RVD is in instead. And apparently he was pretty bitter about being used as a last minute replacement, not even given a spot on the show otherwise. Candido comes out to cry about not getting to wrestle on the first PPV, and I stand by my original assessment: he sounds and acts exactly like Charlie Kelly on It's Always Sunny. There are people literally smoking in the crowd. What a time the late 90s was. Criss cross to start, won by Storm with a clothesline. The sound for this whole show is weird, especially the ring itself. It sounds way overmic'ed. Storm gets dumped to the outside to set up a dive from RVD, but Lance beats the count back in, so Van Dam welcomes him with a bodyslam to set up a flying legdrop for two. Cross corner whip, but Storm springboards to the top for a flying backelbow to avoid hitting the buckles, and he dropkicks RVD to the outside for a plancha - only for Van Dam to dodge. Camera totally missed that one. Rob capitalizes with a dive off the guardrail to trigger an 'ECW' chant, and he rolls Lance in to chuck a chair at. Hard. Rob dropkicks the chair into his face in the corner next, and a double-underhook facebuster sets up a flying frogsplash for two. Rob chucks the chair at his head again as punishment for kicking out, but a rolling corner splash misses, and Lance suplexes him onto the chair. Rob barely sells, however. Rob with a spinheel kick, but Lance dodges, and hits one of his own. Handspring corner splash leads to a flying bodypress for two, so Lance tries an elevated crab, but RVD is in the ropes. Reversal sequence ends in Rob hitting a slingshot guillotine legdrop, but chucking another chair at Lance misses, and Storm capitalizes with a sitout powerbomb onto it for two. Storm with a flying rocker dropper for two, and another reversal sequence ends in Storm dropkicking him, but Rob blocks the follow-up. Lance ends up straddling the top rope to set up a springboard, which Van Dam botches. It still gets two. Storm with a bridging German suplex for two, so he gives Rob a few weak chair shots, but ends up getting it kicked back into his face while trying for a third one. That allows Van Dam a standing moonsault for the pin at 10:06. This was watchable, though it felt amateurish at times. Afterwards, the crowd chants 'you sold out' at Van Dam... after spending the entire match cheering him. Yeah, that's about right for a vintage ECW crowd. ** (Original rating: * ¼)

Six-Man Tag Team Match: Taka Michinoku, Dick Togo, and Men’s Teioh v Great Sasuke, Gran Hamada, and Masato Yakushiji: Taka and Hamada start, measuring each other a bit. Hamada slams him around to take control, and he passes to Yakushiji for a dive. Yakushiji with a bodyslam to set up a legdrop for two, and it's over to Sasuke to unload with strikes. Suplex, but Taka blocks, and brings Men’s in to snapmare him - setting up an elbowdrop from Taka, followed by a somersault senton splash from Togo. Taka adds a spinebuster, allowing Men’s a camel clutch, which Togo punctuates with a dropkick. Togo uses a bodyslam to set up a senton splash for two, so Yakushiji just runs in, and apparently that's as good as a tag here. Well, Styles did say the style was lucha inspired. Unfortunately for Yakushiji, he's quickly destroyed for his troubles. Men’s with a hanging vertical suplex for two, and Toga adds a pop-up flapjack. Another pop-up, but this time Yakushiji is ready with a rana, and he dumps Dick to the outside. Taka is quick to replace him, but Yakushiji dumps him as well, and passes to Hamada to showdown with Men’s. Hamada wins that one, and a reversal sequence ends in Gran grabbing a fujiwara armbar, but Taka is in to save. Hamada puts Taka in it instead, but he's close to the ropes, so Hamada settles for a side suplex instead. Over to Sasuke for a chinlock/bodyscissors combo, but Men’s saves, as Styles takes shots at WCW. Criss cross ends in Sasuke hitting a bodypress on Men’s for two, and Yakushiji comes in, but quickly ends up in the heel corner. Yakushiji manages to fight Men’s off on the outside, and it's back to Hamada, but Togo wins a criss cross with a dropkick. Hamada with a rana for two, so Taka comes in, but Hamada cradles him for two. Sasuke comes in to put Taka in a half-crab, but Taka uses a leg-feed enzuigiri to escape. That draws Yakushiji in, but Togo unceremoniously dumps him so they can get back to working Sasuke over. They triple team Sasuke for a while, until they get sick of him, and take Yakushiji to school again. Taka gives him a brainbuster for two, and they work him with triple teams. Sasuke gets back in, and fights off a triple head with a rana, and he cleans house. He dumps Togo for a springboard moonsault press that ends in Sasuke landing in the crowd, and Taka adds his own dive on Hamada. Yakushiji with a springboard missile dropkick on Men’s for two, and a snap suplex sets up a 2^nd rope moonsault for two. Men’s comes back with a tornado DDT, and a powerbomb looks to finish, but Hamada saves at two. That earns him a powerslam from Togo for two, but a corner charge hits boot, and Hamada dives off the middle with a DDT for two. Togo fires back with a powerbomb for two, and a bodyslam sets up a dive, but Sasuke stops him on the way up, and Gran brings Dick down with a rana. That allows Yakushiji to dive in on Togo with a flying headscissors, and Dick bails - Yakushiji going after him with a tope. Meanwhile, Taka suplexes Sasuke and dives with a flying missile dropkick for two, but the Michinoku Driver only gets two. Taka with another dive, but Sasuke blocks with a dropkick, and uses a springboard moonsault press for two. Powerbomb leads to bridging tiger suplex, and that's enough to give Sasuke the pin at 16:56. All action, though not really my cup of tea style wise. It's worth noting that the execution of the high spots here is at an entirely different level compared to the ECW guys so far. *** (Original rating: *** ½)

ECW Television Title Match: Shane Douglas v Pitbull #2: Pitbull charges into the ring with right hands following a heel promo from Shane, and Pitbull uses a backdrop and a spinheel kick on him. He works a standing front-facelock, so Shane blows him low, but Pitbull counters a DDT attempt with a side-headlock. Pitbull continues to out-wrestle him on the mat, cranking on the neck the whole time, and he drops Douglas crotch-first across the top rope to be a dick. Or to hurt a dick. Whatever, dick is involved. More dick, as Pitbull uses an inverted atomic drop to set up a clothesline for two, and he ropechokes the champion in front on injured partner Pitbull #1. Powerbomb, but Shane counters with a rana, so Pitbull clotheslines him again. Back to the powerbomb, but this time Douglas uses a rana over the top to escape, sending both tumbling to the outside. Back in, Douglas with a trio of piledrivers, and a snapmare sets up a dropkick to the back of the head. Pitbull bails, but Shane forces him back in with a hanging vertical suplex, and he works a camel clutch. Pitbull slugs free, and dumps Douglas into the corner to unload, then uses another inverted atomic drop to set up another clothesline. Pitbull with a sloppy fallaway slam over the top to put the champion through a table, and he follows to the outside to whip the champion into the guardrail. That allows Pitbull #1 to attack out there, but Shane's riot gear wielding bodyguards remove him. Shane heads back in, but Pitbull is on him, bringing a piece of the rail with him. He tries to drop Shane across it, but Douglas reverses, and gives his challenger a headbutt drop to the groin. To the outside, Douglas crotches him on the rail and whacks him with a chair, and he keeps unloading on the way back in. Bodyslam sets up a dive, but Pitbull catches him on his shoulder, and takes Shane back upstairs for a superplex, but Douglas blocks. Douglas dives off the middle, but Pitbull blocks that with a dropkick, and both guys are left looking up at the lights. They stagger up for a slugfest, won by Pitbull with a jumping shoulderblock. Pitbull makes a comeback, and a powerslam gets him two. Backelbow for two, and a dropkick is worth two. Press-slam follows, so Francine deftly passes Shane some knux, and he tees off on the challenger to cut off the comeback. Douglas bashes him with a piece of the broken table from earlier for two, and a shot with a chair is worth two. Shot with the ring bell gets two, so he breaks another piece of the table over his head for another two. Maybe try, I dunno, a wrestling move? No matter, Pitbull starts no-selling anyway, so Shane drills him with the title belt, and that gets some traction. I don't even know why Francine had to palm the knux to him, considering all of these weapon shots are in full view of the official. Shane looks for another weapon (a chain), but that gets Pitbull recovery time, and he suplexes the champion for two. He steals the chain and nails him, so Francine runs interference, allowing Shane a schoolboy for two. Pitbull makes one last attempt at a comeback, but Shane quickly cuts it off with a belly-to-belly suplex to retain at 20:44. This draws the Masked Man out (complete with Rick Rude robe), so Shane attacks him, but it turns out to be Brian Lee under the mask. As Shane is dealing with that, one of the bodyguards comes in to help, but HE unmasks as Rude, in a great twist. He beats on Shane to allow Lee a chokeslam, and of course they get a huge ovation from the crowd. Pitbull #2 is not what you might call a 'good worker,' and honestly he wasn't really competent enough to make a twenty minute match of this sort work. Meanwhile, Shane Douglas is a solid worker, but he's no Ric Flair or Shawn Michaels where he can drag a good match out of a poor worker. I give them credit for keeping it from ever getting boring, but lots and lots of poorly executed spots, and general sloppiness. * (Original rating: ¼*)

Taz v Sabu: They get into a slugfest after the stare down, with Taz drilling him with a clothesline, and Sabu bailing. Not that this is news, but these ECW crowds are so weird. One dude's out there in a shirt and tie, another has a sign advertising his travel business. Back in, Taz takes him down a few times to try for submissions, but that seems like a stupid idea. I mean, what about Sabu's history would make you think he's a guy who would ask you to stop hurting him? Taz keeps pounding and pounding until Sabu is bleeding from the nose, and frankly, looks like he's falling asleep. This has been a really dull start to such a highly anticipated match. Sabu finally gets a shot in with a dropkick to the leg, and he dives with a springboard leg lariat to send Taz to the outside. Sabu is on him with a baseball slide, and Taz ends up in the crowd - Sabu double springboarding to set up a dive after him. Not that he actually, you know, hit anything. But it's the thought that counts. Sabu springboard off of another chair in the crowd, but Taz dodges, and Sabu wipes out against the rail. Back in, Taz tries a choke, but it goes nowhere, and they do a slugfest on their knees - won by Taz with mounted punches. He tries for a cross-armbreaker, but Sabu makes the ropes, and throws a leg-feed enzuigiri to set up a springboard somersault legdrop. He grabs a chair to chuck at Taz's head, then springboards off of it with a leg lariat in the corner. Again, but Taz dodges this time, and he drops Sabu with a hotshot on the chair for two. Clothesline gets two, and a spinebuster follows, but Sabu dumps him to the outside to block the follow-up. He springboards after him, but Taz dodges, and he overhead suplexes Sabu into the crowd. There's a legitimately attractive woman in this crowd, likely a first for ECW. Taz wants to use a table, but Sabu fights him off, and sets Taz up on a table planked between the apron and the rail. Springboard, but he gives up on it half way, and then Taz just suplexes him through the table anyway. What the fuck was that? Another slugfest is won by Taz, so Sabu throws a dropkick to the shoulder on the way back in, and he uses a rana off the top for two. Flying legdrop connects, but it messes Sabu up as well, and Taz is able to bail before a cover is made. Back in, Taz with a cobra suplex, and a vertical suplex, so now Sabu tries bailing, but Taz cuts him off. Sabu responds with his own suplex, and he mocks Taz before putting him in the Tazmission. Taz escapes with a suplex, and he slaps on his own Tazmission - Sabu passing out at 17:33. Well, that was a flat finish. Not a bad finish on paper, but they rushed it, so instead of Hart/Austin at WrestleMania, it felt like Sabu was just a scrub who blows his load too quick. This whole match was really disappointing, and in many ways worse than Douglas/Pitbull - which, at least, was never boring. It's almost like they couldn't decide what type of match they wanted to have, so they tried having every type of match, and none of them worked. Afterwards, Taz offers Sabu respect, and the two embrace. That draws Rob Van Dam out to attack Taz (in what I guess was his original role for the show), but Sabu stops him. That allows Taz to recover and attach RVD, but that's a bridge too far for Sabu, and he saves - he and Van Dam wrecking Taz. And as if that wasn't bad enough for Taz, manager Bill Alfonso then tears off his Taz shirt to reveal a Sabu one - joining in with he and RVD to complete a double turn. The matches may not deliver, but the angles are first class. ½* (Original rating: * ¾)

#1 Contenders Three-Way Dance: Sandman v Terry Funk v Stevie Richards: Tommy Dreamer and Beulah join us for guest commentary on this and the main event. Elimination rules here. Sandman tries to offer Funk a beer at the bell, but Terry tells him he can have it - which Sandman of course is happy to. They work a triple headlock to start, and they get into trading chops and punches for a while. Stevie with a schoolboy on Sandman for two, so Terry tries a spinning toehold, but Richards breaks. He and Sandman take turns dropping elbows and legs on Funk, until Sandman turns on him with a side suplex. Sandman bails to go get weapons instead of covering, however, allowing Funk to grab Stevie for a series of four neckbreakers for two. In what world? Sandman returns with a ladder and chucks it at both guys, then comes in to suplex the ladder onto Stevie. Sandman climbs the ladder, but Funk follows to unload on him, and he dives with a moonsault press on Stevie, but it misses by a mile. Richards is still nice enough to sell it, though. Sandman grabs the ladder, but Stevie superkicks it back into his face for two, allowing Funk to throw a headbutt at Richards for two. Sandman tries whipping Stevie into the ladder, but gets reversed for two. Funk grabs the ladder to airplane spin it into both guys, and this match is just a mess. It's just 'you do a spot, he does a spot, I do a spot,' with no direction or story. Which is a shame, because all three guys are interesting, legitimate challenger's for Raven's title. Stevie with a superkick on Sandman for two, then one on Funk for two. Sandman dumps Stevie and chucks the ladder out at him, then tosses his blue ass into the crowd to see-saw a ladder into. Funk chases after them both with a chair, and he brings Stevie in with a hanging vertical suplex for two. Sandman comes in with a trashcan to help Terry beat on Stevie, and the work together to suplex him onto the can for two. Spike piledriver on Stevie gets two, and a somersault senton splash onto a ladder covered Stevie is worth two. Sandman decides to lean the ladder up against the ropes and dives with it to seesaw it into Stevie's face, and it ends up flying into the crowd, in a scary spot. I'm so glad I never attended an ECW show during the many opportunities I had to do so. Finally, they tandem powerbomb Stevie, and dog pile the cover to eliminate him at 15:41. Funk gives a handshake, but Sandman quickly turns on him from there, so Terry backdrops him over the top. Sandman responds by finding some barbed wire (which is hilariously knotted up in a bunch of the streamers from the Michinoku Pro match), but Terry gets it away from him, and starts whipping his bare back with the wire. Sandman fights him off and wraps himself in barbed wire to set up a flying legdrop for two, but now Stevie's back. That distraction allows Funk to cover Sandman's head with a trashcan for Stevie to superkick, and Terry finishes with a flying moonsault at 19:09. A very ECW match, give it that. ½* (Original rating: *)

Main Event: ECW World Title Match: Raven v Terry Funk: As soon as the bell sounds, Raven is out to capitalize on the battered Funk. He hammers on his limp carcass, and forces him up for a drop-toehold onto a chair to bust Terry open something fierce. Raven works the cut, and they actually stop the match so the EMT can come in and check on Funk, PPE and all. What is this, 2013 WWE? The doc clears Funk, so Raven keeps working the cut, and Terry is punch drunk. Not in love, though. Can you imagine PT Anderson directing an ensemble film about ECW, though? To the outside, Raven suplexes a table on him, then puts Funk across another one to dive at with a plancha. The doctor keeps trying to stop the match, but Raven won't have it, and sics the Nest on Funk. Terry is a left a pile of goo, but instead of covering, Raven stops to taunt Tommy Dreamer. Tommy wants to respond, but Big Dick Dudley attacks him before he can go anywhere, and Raven DDTs the referee for some reason. Dudley tries chokeslamming Dreamer off of the stage and through a pair of stacked tables, but Tommy reverses, as Raven watches from a distance instead of, you know, retaining his title. Dreamer comes to the ring and hits him with a DDT, allowing Funk to cover for two. Raven pops up angry, trying for his own DDT, but Terry counters with a small package at 7:20 - people literally jumping for joy at the decision. Really bad match, though. –¼* (Original rating: DUD)

BUExperience: The individual star ratings don’t tell the whole story here, as this is a pretty good show. Or, well, not ‘good.’ Not in the conventional sense. But fun to watch.

**