WWE The Bash (June 2009)

 

Original Airdate: June 28, 2009

From Sacramento, California; Your Hosts are Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler (RAW); Jim Ross and Todd Grisham (Smackdown); Matt Striker and Josh Matthews (ECW)

Opening ECW Title Championship Scramble Match: Tommy Dreamer v Christian v Jack Swagger v Mark Henry v Finlay: Christian and Swagger start, with Jack throwing a knee out of the initial lockup. Powerslam gets him two, so Jack goes to the mat with an abdominal stretch, and a pumphandle-stomachbreaker. Christian tries a sleeper, but Swagger quickly fights him off, and slows him down with a front-facelock. Superplex, but Christian shakes him off, and dives with a missile dropkick for two. Finlay is next in, and he unloads on both guys. Jack bails, allowing Christian to hook a small package for two, but Finlay quickly fights him off, and hits a senton splash for two. Cross corner whip works, but the charge in doesn't, and Christian dives off the middle with a backelbow for two. He comes off the ropes with another move, but Swagger hooks the ankle, and dumps him to the outside - allowing Jack to schoolboy Finlay at 4:42. Christian comes at Swagger with a slingshot sunset flip for two, and a reversal sequence ends in Christian hitting an inverted DDT for two. Jack fights back with a belly-to-belly suplex, as Dreamer enters the fray. He hits Jack with a bulldog right away, and wins a reversal sequence on Christian with a sitout spinebuster for two. Tommy puts Christian in a tree of woe to set up a dropkick, but Jack attacks before Tommy can do anything else. That looked really sloppy. Finlay is back to hit Jack with the Celtic Cross, however, scoring a pin at 8:11. Christian hustles in with a snapmare on Finlay for two, but a trip to the top doesn't go anywhere, and Henry enters the match to round out the field. He barrels into Tommy with a clothesline, before sending Christian and Swagger off the top in a tower of doom spot, and I guess that's why they were taking forever deciding what to do with Christian on the top rope for a half hour. Henry runs wild, and a slam on Dreamer gets him a pin at 10:26. Henry keeps trying to fight everyone at once, but ends up getting ganged up on, and Christian cradles Finlay for two out of the deal. Corner whip, but Finlay reverses, and he dives at Swagger with a tope. Dreamer also does a dive at Jack, but here's Christian with a dive on Dreamer. All that leads to Henry going up for his own dive, but Jack knocks him off the ropes, and he hits a springboard splash at 12:19. Jack tries to keep everyone out of the ring to run the clock, but fails to hold the high ground for long, and Henry delivers a straddling ropechoke. Unfortunately for Mark, he's ganged up on again, and Christian hits Jack with the Killswitch to try and steal the pin, but Dreamer breaks it up at two. He drops Christian with a DDT, and that's a pin at 13:25. Finlay rushes in with a schoolboy on Dreamer for one, so Jack tries one on Finlay, but Tommy breaks it up at two. Finlay with an inverted DDT on Tommy, but Swagger breaks it at two. Finlay DDTs Swagger for two, and here comes Henry, so Dreamer DDTs him for two. Why did Christian bother breaking the count, Dreamer's already the one holding the hot potato. Everyone keeps trying to score a last minute pin before the clock runs out, but no one can get anything, and Dreamer retains at 14:47. This was actually a lot of fun. ** ½

 

WWE Intercontinental Title v Mask Match: Chris Jericho v Rey Mysterio: Rey should be forced to unmask simply because I don't want to look at that color combination for longer than I need to. Would it have killed him to go with a red/white/blue theme for this one? Chris goes right for the mask to rattle the challenger, but Rey manages to fight him off. Criss cross ends in Jericho using a corner whip, but the charge in fails, and Rey sends him to the outside via headscissor. Baseball slide, but Jericho catches him, and sends him into the barricade out there. Rey beats the count, so Jericho welcomes him back with a catapult under the bottom rope, and he adds a hanging vertical suplex for two. Chris works a crossface chickenwing, but can't coax a submission, so he takes Rey upstairs, but the challenger fights him off. Rey dives with a flying seated senton, but Jericho grabs him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two when Mysterio is looking for his follow-up. Chris uses a turnbuckle smash and a baseball slide to knock Rey back to the outside, but Mysterio beats the count to the apron, so Jericho tries a suplex, but Rey blocks. That leads to a reversal sequence, ending in Jericho hitting a seated dropkick for two. He grounds his challenger in a double chickenwing, but Rey fights to a vertical base, and uses a drop-toehold to send a charging Jericho to the outside. Chris hurts his knee on the landing, allowing Rey time to get to the top rope, and he dives with a wild flying seated senton on the floor. The camera work really accentuated that one nicely. Rey with a springboard flying bodypress for two on the way back inside, and a headscissor sends Jericho into the middle buckle. Mysterio with a springboard slingshot moonsault for two, but Jericho counters a springboard moonsault press with a front-powerslam for two. Chris hammers him with a headbutt and a cross corner whip, but misses his charge again, and Rey dives with a flying moonsault press for two. Seated senton, but Jericho counters to the Walls, locking it on far from the ropes. Rey makes the ropes anyway to save his hopes, and he dodges a charge to send Jericho to the apron. Rey tries an inverted 619, but Chris dodges, and clothesline the challenger down. Jericho with a powerbomb off the middle for two, but the Lionsault misses, and Rey uses a rana into a cradle for two. Dropkick sets up the 619, so Chris counters to a rack drop, but Rey counters back with a DDT for two. Rey takes some shots at the leg to try and weaken the champion, but a springboard ends badly when Jericho catches him in the Codebreaker for two. Chris takes him up for a rana off the top, but Rey manages to block, and he dives with a flying dropkick. 619 connects, but Jericho counters the springboard flying rana into the Walls again. Rey fights into a sunset flip, triggering a pinfall reversal sequence that ends in Chris pulling off the mask. Rey has another one on underneath, however, and the confusion allows him to hit the 619 to set up a springboard flying splash at 15:39. What I like about this series is that not only are the matches really good, but they manage to make each different, while also building off of/referencing the earlier ones. *** ¾

 

No Disqualification Match: Great Khali v Dolph Ziggler: Dolph sticks and moves in the early going, but gets caught in the corner, and dumped. Khali follows to the outside to use a short-clothesline on him, and he hammers Dolph with chops against the post, but Ziggler dodges one. That allows Dolph to dive off the apron a few times, but he does little more than annoy Khali, and back in we go. Dolph uses his speed to buy time, and manages to swipe at the leg to slow the giant down a little more. Dolph grabs a chair and goes to work, and a rocker dropper is worth two. Front-facelock, but Khali escapes, and big boots him down. He's ready to go in for the kill, but Kane shows up (complete with full entrance) to attack with a chair of his own. He beats Khali to the ground, Ziggler covers, and that's a pin at 5:00. Let's move on. ¼*

 

WWE Unified Tag Team Title Triple Threat Match: The Colons v Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase v Edge and Chris Jericho: This is originally scheduled as the Colons defending against Rhodes and DiBiase, but Smackdown General Manager Theodore Long shows up after the entrances to make it a triple threat. Carlito and Ted start, and it quickly turns into a slugfest. Carlito gets the better of that, and clotheslines DiBiase down, before passing to Primo for a drop-toehold/headbutt drop combo for two. Ted fights him off with a chincrusher, and the Legacy double up on Primo in the corner for a bit, but he fights Ted off with a kick combo and a legdrop for two. Back to Carlito with a dropkick for two, and he works a chinlock, the champs taking DiBiase to school. Ted fights Primo off long enough to pass back to Rhodes, as Jericho and Edge get no love from no one, and get increasingly vocal about it. Legacy work Primo over for a bit, and Cody gets him in a submission, but Edge comes in to save since the first fall wins this thing. Cody manages to cut off the tag, but Primo fights him off with a backdrop over the top to allow the tag to Carlito. Carlito comes in hot, hitting Rhodes with a springboard backelbow for two. That brings DiBiase in without a tag, so Primo cuts him off, and Edge manages to tag himself in during the chaos. He nails an oblivious Carlito with the spear, and we have new champions at 9:39. This was pretty basic, but I enjoyed the storyline of both teams freezing Edge and Jericho out. * ½

 

WWE Women's Title Match: Melina v Michelle McCool: McCool goes right at her with uppercuts, but Melina blocks a whip into the ropes with an elbow, and uses a takedown for some mounted punches. Melina with a backdrop and a clothesline to set up a seated backelbow for two, and she chokes her challenger on the ropes, but McCool fights back with a dropkick to the leg. That allows McCool to work the part, and I'm pretty sure the announcers are jerking off right now based on the way they're describing the action. McCool misses a corner big boot to allow Melina a comeback, and she throws a roundhouse kick for two. McCool quickly fights her off with a kick of her own for two, but Melina blocks a superplex, and dives off the middle with a facebuster - McCool in the ropes at two with Alicia Fox's help. That earns Fox a shot from the champ, but the distraction allows McCool to recover with a big boot for two, and the Faith Breaker wins the title at 6:35. Not particularly good, but Melina sold well enough. ¾*

 

World Heavyweight Title Match: CM Punk v Jeff Hardy: Feeling out process to start, going back and forth. Jeff tries the Twist of Fate, but Punk blocks, so Hardy backdrops him over the top instead, then dives with a plancha. Jeff leans him up against the barricade for a springboard leg lariat off of the steps, but Punk sidesteps. Punk rolls in to take the countout win, but Jeff beats it, so Punk just covers his battered ass for two. I like what they're doing, but that whole sequence felt too early in the match. Punk grounds his challenger with a headscissors, wearing Jeff down, and covering for two. Backbreaker gets two, so he goes back to the headscissors hold, but Jeff gets into the ropes. Punk stays on him with a bodyslam, and he's looking gassed. 2^nd rope legdrop misses, as does a corner splash, allowing Hardy to dive with the Whisper in the Wind for two. Series of clotheslines lead to an inverted atomic drop, setting up a legdrop to the groin, followed by a seated dropkick for two. Gourdbuster looks to set up the Swanton Bomb, but Punk rolls to the outside before the challenger can dive. Jeff changes gears and leaps from the apron with a clothesline on the floor instead, and he drags Punk back in for the slingshot dropkick, but Punk catches him in the GTS. Jeff hold onto the ropes to block it, however, so Punk bulldogs him for two instead. Punk with a series of strikes, but he misses a spinning backhand, allowing Hardy the Twist. Swanton Bomb, but Punk dodges. GTS, but Hardy manages a small package for two, so Punk kicks him square in the brain. GTS, but Jeff counters with another Twist, and this time the Swanton connects for the pin... whoops the referee spots Punk in the ropes after counting the fall. He breaks up Hardy's celebration, and Jeff spends about an hour arguing the point instead of just bashing Punk in the head and covering again. He finally tries the Twist again, but Punk counters to the GTS, so Jeff rakes the eyes to block. Punk tries to get the official to call a DQ, but he's hesitant, so Punk just flat out hits the referee to get his DQ at 14:54. I appreciate the psychology at work there, but that's a really weak finish to a PPV title match. Jeff's facial expressions to sell it are great, though. Overall a pretty good match, though the false finish and the DQ both hurt it. ** ¾

 

John Cena v Miz: Well, no one can argue that Miz's look hasn't improved 10x since 2009. Cena toys with him to start, until Miz manages to violently snap John's neck across the ropes, and that turns the tide. Miz dives with a flying axehandle for two, and a vertical suplex is worth two. Corner whip and a clothesline on the rebound get two, so Miz uses a baseball slide to knock him to the outside. Back in, that gets Miz another two count, but a whip into the ropes backfires when it triggers Cena's comeback routine. Five Knuckle Shuffle sets up the Attitude Adjustment, and the STF finishes at 5:39. The announcers note that Miz is 'seeing stars' after that match. Well, glad someone is. This was basically a squash. ½*

 

Main Event: WWE Title Three Stages of Hell Match: Randy Orton v Triple H: First stage is a standard match, second stage is a Falls Count Anywhere match, and if it goes to a third stage, they do a Stretcher match. Has one of these ever NOT gone to a third stage? Or not featured HHH? Slugfest to start, won by the challenger with a high knee. Cross corner whip, but Orton reverses, so HHH rebounds out of the corner with a clothesline. Another try at the cross corner whip works, but this time the charge in fails, allowing Randy to sweep the leg. He tries to crotch HHH on the post, but Hunter pulls back, bashing the champ's head into the steel. HHH uses a vertical suplex to bring him back in for two, and I'm surprised Randy didn't blade on the post spot. Was blood a no-no in 2009? They go back and forth so often I have trouble keeping track. Orton manages to clip the leg and bash it into the post to take control, but Hunter blocks the RKO, and manages a spinebuster. The leg slows down the follow-up, however, allowing Orton to hit the inverted headlock backbreaker. HHH wisely rolls to the outside to avoid getting covered, and he whacks Orton with a chair when Randy goes after him - costing himself the first fall by DQ at 4:52. So now it's a Falls Count Anywhere match, and Hunter can use the chair freely. And, boy, does he. He pounds the ever-loving shit out of the champion until Orton falls out of the ring, so Hunter follows, Pedigrees him on the floor, and ties the ballgame at 6:18. Man, if all HHH matches moved at this pace. So now it's a Stretcher match, and Hunter quickly puts Orton's limp body on the stretcher. Up the ramp they go, but Randy manages to fight him off before he can get it across the finish line, and he shoves the stretcher right into the bad leg. Hunter hobbles away, but Orton is on him, clipping the leg to send the challenger crashing to the ground. Randy drops him crotch-first across the barricade, allowing Hunter to personally suck the cock of every guy in the front row. Well, that's one way to ensure you get a babyface reaction. Orton follows for a brawl through the crowd, and he breaks off a piece of the barricade to beat Hunter with once they're back at ringside. Randy grabs the stretcher, but can't get Hunter on it before the Game slugs him in the jaw. Orton responds by whipping his challenger into the steps, and he tries dropping them onto him on the way back into the ring, but HHH counters with a drop-toehold. Literally 90% of the stuff happening to Orton should draw blood in normal wrestling circumstances. I can imagine a 1986 JCP fan watching this and being very, very confused. HHH puts him on the stretcher and powers it up the ramp, but Orton manages to use gravity to ride back down before Hunter can get him over the finish line. See, science finally does something useful, I told you guys. Orton gives him an elevated DDT on the ramp, no blood. Dusty Rhodes is probably crying somewhere. Punt, but HHH dodges, causing Orton to hit the stretcher. Ooh, probably stubbed his toe on that one. Now it's a ready blood feud. Pedigree on the floor, but Orton counters by backdropping him onto the stretcher, which somehow knocks Hunter out. That must have been a hell of a backdrop, especially considering the landing was on a mattress. Up the ramp they go, but HHH fights him off. Randy responds with the RKO, but Hunter blocks, and delivers a Pedigree on the stage. They're right by the finish line, and HHH gets him onto the stretcher, but Cody Rhodes runs out to prevent him from pushing it over the line. Yes! Get revenge for your pa, son! HHH fights him off, but now Ted DiBiase is here to save Orton again, and Legacy stomp the life out of the challenger. Stretcher, but HHH finds a random sledgehammer to fight them off, but Orton is ready with another weapon to knock him over the line at 21:23. I enjoyed the psychology, but the match felt like it lost a lot of steam after the first two falls. **

 

BUExperience: A forgettable, but totally watchable show.

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