WWF Mania (January 9, 1993)

Original Airdate: January 9, 1993

 

Your Host is Todd Pettengill. Todd immediately starts flipping out at the lack of a red carpet, and takes off his shoes in protest. Well, at least it was just his shoes

 

We take a look back at some of Doink the Clown's recent pranks on various superstars

 

Crush v Dave Sigfrids: From Superstars on January 2 (taped December 14 1992) in Green Bay Wisconsin. Sigfrids is actually pretty jacked up for a jobber from this period. He's shorter, but he even looks impressive beside Crush. Doink is back at ringside again, squirting kids with water, which Savage notes is 'not cool.' Why don't you go and do something about it instead of yelling 'SHAKA' over and over again like an asshole? Headvice finishes at 2:40. Afterwards, Crush grabs Doink and gives him a stern warning to leave the kids alone, which the clown laughs off. Well, of course. Playing jokes is literally his whole job! Why would Crush want to put a working man on the unemployment line? What a Shaka jerk. DUD

 

Back in the studio, Todd is sitting on the floor, staring at some guys ass

 

Ray Rougeau catches up with Crush, who is all upset since Doink is not the kind of clown he remembers from being a kid, who were a 'pleasure to be around.' I don't think anyone, anywhere, anytime, anyplace has ever described a clown as such, so maybe Crush is just clouded by nostalgia. Crush is also going full 50 First Dates here. You never go full 50 First Dates, brah

 

Jim Duggan v Repo Man: From Beaumont Texas, January 4 1993. That's a pretty quick turnaround from taping to TV for this era. Repo tries pounding him into the ropes, but Duggan wins a criss cross, and starts throwing clotheslines until Repo bails. Duggan's act is so boring, but damned if it isn't getting a reaction. Repo tries a sunset flip on the way back in, but Duggan blocks with right hands, and he uses an atomic drop to send him back to the outside. Jim tries dragging him back in this time, but Repo drops down, and snaps his throat across the top rope. That allows Repo to take control as he comes back inside, and he works a headvice. No wonder, that did wonders for his former tag partner. Duggan doesn't have much brain to squeeze, however, and it goes nowhere. Hacksaw makes a comeback, and the three-point stance finishes at 3:35. This was nothing of note. ¼*

 

Back in the studio, Todd continues to audition for Blues Clues

 

Yokozuna v George Anderson: From Superstars on January 2 (taped December 14 1992) in Green Bay Wisconsin. Savage wonders if Lawler still wants to enter the Rumble considering the likes of Yokozuna will be in there, but the King isn't worried about it, since he hasn't got any friends in the WWF anyway. "You're right about that," notes Randy. Speaking of the Rumble, Earthquake split screens in to promise that he'll out fat Yokozuna. Banzai Drop finishes at 2:39. Weird bit after the match, as Mr. Fuji hands him an envelope, which the announcers talk about being some sort of cash from his sponsors. That bit likely didn't last long, because I don't remember that part of the gimmick at all. DUD

 

Todd is literally having fits of laughter imagining Yokozuna's weight if converted into metric. It's shit like this that's why we lost the Mars Climate Orbiter, you ass

 

Undertaker cuts a promo on... malnourishment...? Well, at least it would probably be a more interesting opponent than the slugs he ended up saddled with in 1993

 

Todd hypes up Headlock on Hunger, noting that he's been around the WWF for a 'long time,' and that they really care. Really, 'long time?' This is literally your debut!

 

Shawn Michaels v Jim Brunzell: From Wrestling Challenge on January 3 1993 (taped December 15 1992) in Madison Wisconsin. Shawn's WWF Intercontinental title is not on the line here. I didn't even recognize Brunzell here, and the announcers make no mention of his past. I know you punk kids are all about your stupid murder hornets, but the Killer Bees will have respect, damn it! Superkick finishes at 5:12. Shawn actually pinballed around quite a bit for Brunzell here, to the point where it was actually a competitive match more than a proper squash. *

 

Back in the studio, Todd continues to do various voices like Robin Williams on coke. So, like Robin Williams, basically

 

Ray Rougeau is in the locker room with Owen Hart, talking about... I dunno, Canadian things... when Razor Ramon bursts in and beats the absolute piss out of the Rocket with a trash can to send a message to WWF Champion Bret Hart

 

Razor promises to slap Bret around the same way at the Royal Rumble. Hart responds by promising to, uh, not let him

 

Gene Okerlund is here with the Royal Rumble Report

 

Monday Night RAW ad. Odd swipe here, as they note that you 'can't see it on TBS'

 

Mr. Perfect v Berzerker: From Superstars on January 2 (taped December 14 1992) in Green Bay Wisconsin. Perfect's back, and he still hasn't figured out how to keep his dick from poking out of his gear. Berzerker tries barking in his face to start, so Perfect triggers a criss cross, and knocks Berzerker to the outside with a dropkick. Perfect teases a dive, but opts out, and pays the price when Berzerker nails him in the midsection on the way back in. Perfect tries a corner charge, but Berzerker dodges, and he grabs his sword to try and chop Perfect's head off, but luckily misses. That was quite an escalation of hostilities there. Berzerker with a big boot, but a charge gets him backdropped over the top, as Ric Flair marches down to ringside. He's cut off by officials, but succeeds in distracting Perfect, though Berzerker is so useless that it takes him THREE sneak attacks before he can get a shot in on him via big boot. Berzerker with a slam for two, but a backdrop attempt gets countered with the PerfectPlex at 5:27. This was decent. * ¼

 

Gene Okerlund is in the control center with an update on Bobby Heenan, who is still so upset with Perfect that he's bringing in a hired gun to deal with him, someone he will unveil at the Royal Rumble. I guess they already knew Flair was on the way out, because it's kind of insulting to him that Heenan is promising someone else to deal with Perfect. Why, can't Ric get the job done?

 

BUExperience: This was actually a very light, easy show to watch, and since it’s the first show I started regularly watching as a young fan back in 1994, I have a certain nostalgia for it. I will say that though I’m usually very forgiving of Pettengill in general (which also likely has a lot to do with nostalgia), man, he was really terrible here. You just wanted to slap him.