ECW Eastern Championship Wrestling (June 8, 1993)

Original Airdate: June 8, 1993 (taped May 14)

 

From Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; Your Hosts are Jay Sulli and Paul E. Dangerously. This is somewhat significant as the first ever show held at what would become known as the fabled 'ECW Arena'

 

Tod Gordon shows up to start, noting that the winner of the Terry Funk/Eddie Gilbert match at Super Summer Sizzler Spectacular (SSSS for short) will be crowned King of Philadelphia. As Paul E. notes, 'truly a high honor'

 

Road Warrior Hawk shows up to call out Dangerously for passing bad checks. It's kind of sad watching Hawk hit his catchphrase, and pausing for a crowd pop that never comes

 

We take a look back at the feud between Terry Funk and Eddie Gilbert, leading to Terry himself coming out to cut a promo. That draws Dangerously over to challenge him to a match with Dark Patriot, with Funk correctly noting that he's never heard of him, but sure, why not

 

Handicap Match: Road Warrior Hawk v Samoan Warrior and Don E. Allen: Though this is the same building, the setup looks completely different than the familiar ECW Arena look. The heels attack as Hawk gets his gear off, double teaming him. They try a cross corner whip, but Hawk rebounds out of the corner with a clothesline on both me, and he dumps Allen to the outside. He gives Warrior a fistdrop and a powerslam, followed by a flying clothesline. Allen comes back in, so Hawk press-drops him onto Warrior, and then sandwich pins them both at 1:11. Now that was a squash! ½*

 

Now we get a pre-recorded promo with Hawk on ECW Television Champion Jimmy Snuka, as they'll meet right here next week

 

Eddie Gilbert is going as Arn Anderson for Halloween, apparently

 

ECW Philadelphia State Title 16-Man Battle Royal: This is to establish the first champion, and we've got: Sir Christopher Candido, Sir Jonathan Hotbody, Tommy Cairo, Glen Osbourne, JT Smith, Salvatore Bellomo, Larry Winters, Tony Stetson, Max Thrasher, Herve Renesto, Canadian Wolfman, Rockin' Rebel, Samoan Warrior, Super Destroyer #1, Super Destroyer #2, and Sandman. It comes down to Cairo and Winters, but Stetson is all upset that Winters eliminated him, and pulls a Hulk Hogan. And then Cairo just dumps Winters over the top to win it at 7:02, with fucking Winters needing three separate tries to get himself over the top. This sucked. And then afterwards, Stetson kicks the shit out of Winters to add insult to injury, and, of course, Cairo has to run right over and white knight for him. DUD

 

Backstage, Stevie Wonderful catches up with Sandman and Peaches to hype up SSSS

 

Backstage, Sulli catches up with Salvatore Bellomo, who is apparently challenging Sylvester Stallone to a match. Bro, just because they got Hawk doesn't mean celebrities are suddenly going to start coming in. This was pretty over the top, and kind of funny

 

ECW Tag Team Title Match: The Suicide Blonds v Tommy Cairo and Glen Osbourne: The Blonds now have Hunter Q. Robbins III in their corner, so I guess he's doing the Sunny 'tag team title slut' gimmick. Well, hopefully he'll at least be more loyal to Candido. This must be Tommy Cairo Appreciation Night, or something. And he celebrates by going crazy with belly-to-belly suplexes. He's a wild man! Robbins whacks Glen with his cane, allowing Candido the pin at 2:29, as Cairo just stands around on the apron letting it all happen. The one time he actually SHOULD be interfering in something, and the just stands around? Also, Robbins using the weapon was in full view of the referee, and somehow wasn't a DQ. This was barely a match. Afterwards, Robbins introduces a third member of the team, Sir Richard Michael. Well, at least he's blond. This draws the Super Destroyers out, feeling like a couple of jilted lovers. They complain that they were the champions for two and a half years, and deserve a shot. Did the lineage even go back that far at this point? And then they fire Robbins, which seems like kind of a cow's opinion, since he'd already left them for another team. All this somehow leads to a brawl, though I'm surprised the Blonds didn't just laugh in these two losers faces. Quick check of the records shows that their actual reign was less than one year, by the way. DUD

 

They run down the card for Super Summer Sizzler Spectacular, and oddly, they've already got Stetson/Winters on there. See, that's what happens when you've got a president who hasn't got his head up his ass like that old mustache Jack Tunney

 

ECW Title Match: Don Muraco v Sandman: This is joined in progress with Sandman hitting a powerslam, and holding a mat-based headlock. Looks like the match just got going here, I don't think we missed much, lucky us. Stevie Wonderful takes over for Paul on commentary here, so Dangerously can properly manage the champion. The commentary table is literally shoved up against the ring apron, could he not just yell shit from there? Don escapes the headlock and puts Sandman down with a kneelift, and Paul is right there with the cheap shot. Okay, he probably couldn't do that from the desk. Don works him over with dull stuff, but Sandman wins a slugfest, and makes a comeback. I like that even Sulli is making fun of Sandman's stupid ass surfing outfit. When JAY SULLI is scoring on you, it's time to revaluate. Though, to be fair, he certainly did. And that may be the only instance in all history when Zubaz was actually an upgrade. Muraco and Dangerously cheap outrageously, so Peaches attacks Paul, allowing Sandman another comeback. He gets distracted by Paul going after his lady on the outside, however, and gets counted out at 7:16 shown. I think we can safely rate this at ¼*

 

BUExperience: This was a bad episode.