WWF Royal Rumble 1999 (Version II)

 

Original Airdate: January 24, 1999 

From Anaheim, California; Your Hosts are Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler

Opening Match: Jesse James v Big Boss Man: The WWF Hardcore title is not on the line here. James tries to move, but gets cornered, and pounded. Boss Man with an avalanche, but a corner splash misses, and Jesse crotches him with the top rope. Jesse with a ten-punch count, but Boss Man fights him off with an inverted atomic drop, so Road Dogg dropkicks him. Boss Man responds by pulling the nightstick, but Jesse bails before he can use it, and sweeps his legs from the outside, while the referee argues with Boss Man about the weapon. Boss Man fights him off with a backelbow, and he throws a big boot, then corner whips him for two. They really rattled the ring with that one. Boss Man grabs a bearhug, and a sidewalk slam gets him two. Boss Man with a ropechoke, and he starts throwing punches, but Jesse stays in the game. Boss Man gets the better of the slugfest, and he delivers a straddling ropechoke, then a bootchoke. Jesse manages a sleeper, but Boss Man goes to the eyes to escape. That allows Boss Man a backbreaker, and he heads to the top, but Jesse slams him off. Another slugfest goes Jesse’s way, and he uses a straddling ropechoke of his own, ahead of a kneedrop for two. Clothesline, but Boss Man counters with the scrapbuster at 11:36. This wasn’t terrible, but didn’t really distinguish itself in any way. ¾* (Original rating: *)

WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Ken Shamrock v Billy Gunn: Ken charges in, and they slug it out right away. Billy gets the better of it, but a turnbuckle smash gets reversed, and Shamrock unloads in the corner. Shamrock with a cross corner whip, and Billy rebounds into a clothesline. Ken tries going to the well again, but this time Gunn rebounds with a clothesline of his own, and he covers for two. Gunn goes to a chinlock from there, and a suplex gets him two. Billy with a cross corner whip of his own, but a charge in misses, and Ken literally kicks his ass from there. Ken with a kneelift, and a bodyslam sets up a kneedrop. Backdrop, but Billy counters with a rocker dropper for two. Gunn takes him into the corner for a ten-punch, but a charge misses, and Billy takes a bump over the top. Shamrock follows to the outside to put the boots to his challenger, and he feeds Billy the post from there. Into the announce table, but Gunn reverses that, and Billy covers for two on the way in. Gunn with a kneelift, but Ken sweeps the leg, and starts working the ankle. Gunn pulls out a schoolboy for two, but Shamrock cuts him off, and uses a fisherman suplex for two. Ken goes back to the leg, but an exchange results in everyone down - referee included. That allows Val Venis to sneak in and DDT Shamrock, and Billy covers for a dramatic two count. Billy keeps coming, and a corner splash connects. A bodyslam leads to a dive, but Shamrock dodges, and Gunn rolls his ankle on the landing. That allows Ken to get the anklelock on, and we’re done at 14:26. This was a solid match, though Val’s interference felt kind of pointless, since it didn’t factor into the finish. It was a great nearfall, though. ** (Original rating: * ¼)

WWF European Title Match: X-Pac v Gangrel: A criss cross allows X-Pac a hiptoss, and he throws a series of strikes in the corner. A corner dropkick misses, however, and Gangrel trapping suplexes him for two. Gangrel press-drops him across the top rope for two, and he slaps on a chinlock from there. X-Pac escapes, so Gangrel uses a pop-up flapjack for two, but a flying elbowdrop misses. X-Pac with another series of strikes, and a jumping clothesline gets the champ two. X-Pac with a spinheel kick, and he takes Gangrel into the corner for a ten-punch. That puts Gangrel down for the bronco buster, and a spinkick finds the mark. X-Pac goes up, but Gangrel crotches him on the top. He tries a superplex, but X-Pac shoves him off, and dives with a flying bodypress - Gangrel rolling through for the pin, though they pretend it was two because that wasn’t the planned finish. That whole reversal looked really sloppy, and the very obvious pinfall is hard to ignore. Gangrel with a powerslam for two, but a backdrop is blocked, and X-Pac lands a sitout facebuster at 5:48. ¾* (Original rating: **)

WWF Women's Title Strap Match: Sable v Luna: Shane McMahon acts as the guest ring announcer for this one, and as a guest commentator. Sable uses the strap right away, so Luna bails, so Sable uses the strap to pull her into the post. More shots with the strap, and Sable chokes her down with it. Sable gets two corners, but Luna cuts her off, and chokes her with the strap. Luna gets two corners before Sable cuts her off, and she unloads with the strap some more. Sable misses a charge in the corner, allowing Luna a backbreaker, and she does some more strap choking. That allows her to drag Sable to the corners, but Sable hits them all in her wake. They fight over the final one, so Shane tries to interfere, but gets blocked by the referee. That allows a fan (Tori) to jump out of the crowd, nailing Luna, and allowing Sable the win at 4:17. I think this is the only Strap match I’ve ever seen where the heel didn’t get to use the strap even once. DUD (Original rating: DUD)

WWF Title I Quit Match: Mankind v Rock: Mankind slugs Rock into the corner to start, and a cross corner clothesline connects. That puts Rock down for a running kneesmash, and they actually bother checking if Rock quits after that. I get the concept, but, really?! Mankind with a facebuster to set up some mounted punches, but Rock doesn’t quit. Mankind responds by beating on him with the microphone, and it makes a great ‘thump’ sound. A clothesline sends both men tumbling over the top, but Rock reverses a whip into the steps, so Mankind can take a bump into them. I know, I’m shocked that he’d feel the need to take a big bump, too. Rock stops to do commentary, but that allows Mankind to recover, and he beats on the challenger with a chair. Okay, so he started it. They spill into the crowd, where Mankind continues to dominate, but a charge backfires when Rock powerslams him back over the barricade. Rock feeds him the steps from there, and he grabs the ring bell to do some damage with. Rock tries a uranage through an announce table, but the table collapses before he can execute it. “I knew Mankind had gained weight,” Lawler quickly snarks. Rock spits water in his face, but it backfires, waking Mankind up. Mankind beats Rock up the aisle, but the challenger manages a DDT on the floor. Mankind won’t quit, so Rock grabs a ladder, but that backfires as well. Mankind dives onto the ladder, but Rock dodges, and Mankind takes another big bump. He still won’t quit, so Rock decides to… run away? He climbs the ladder up onto the edge of the lower level seats, but Mankind follows, and they slug it out up there. Rock gets the better of it, and Mankind takes another big bump off of the landing - landing on a bunch of A/V equipment. That draws Shane McMahon out to check on things, as they try to recreate some of the drama from King of the Ring. Luckily, they don’t go too far with it, and anyway, Mankind doesn’t quit. Rock beats him back to ringside, and decides to handcuff his hands behind his back as they go into the ring. Rock with a series of turnbuckle smashes, but Mankind manages a mulekick, and he drops a knee to the groin. Mankind continues to fight back without access to his hands, but can only get so far, and Rock delivers a people’s elbow with a chair! No quit, so Rock grabs a chair, and shot number one puts Mankind to his knees. Shot two puts him down, and Mankind is bleeding pretty badly. Remember, his hands are cuffed, he can’t even get them up to protect himself. Rock with another three shots, and Mankind is not looking good here. He falls out of the ring, but Rock follows with another series of unprotected chair shots to the head. He beats Mankind up the aisle, with shot after shot, all to the head. Mankind ends up down and out at the entrance area, and his limp carcass screams ‘I quit’ at 21:49. Well, that was certainly something. And certainly something you would never, ever see today. Thankfully. I have no idea why they thought it was okay then, but it was a very different time, both in the business, and in society in general. As a story, the finish was great, but it is not pleasant to watch, and time has not made it any easier. Just brutal. ** ½ (Original rating: *** ¼)

Main Event: #1 Contender's 30-Man Royal Rumble Match: Steve Austin gets #1 and Vince McMahon gets #2. Vince is in tremendous shape here. Not that it helps him, though, as Austin absolutely wrecks him the moment the bell sounds. Steve beats on him until #3 entry Golga comes out (“in his first Rumble,” per Cole), but Steve doesn’t want partners, and gets rid of him. Vince uses that opportunity to bail into the crowd, so Steve chases, and they end up in the bathroom, where the Corporation are waiting with an ambush. Droz comes out at #4, but he has no one to play with, until Edge enters at #5. Edge with a spear to set up mounted punches, but Droz tags him with a jumping backelbow. Gillberg joins the party at #6, doing his big entrance… and getting immediately tossed by Edge. Meanwhile, we get a camera up in the bathroom, where Austin has been left for dead by the Corporation. #7 is Steve Blackman, as we cut back to the bathroom, where Austin is getting stretchered out. #8 is Dan Severn, as all the drama remains on the backstage stuff, and not the parade of lower card guys actually in the ring. Tiger Ali Singh draws #9, as Stone Cold gets loaded into an ambulance. Blue Meanie pulls #10, as we’re desperately in need of star power (and Meanie is not a good solution). Mabel comes in at #11, stealing Mosh’s spot. He clears some guys out, as Jesse James hits the ring at #12, giving this thing some much needed star power. He dumps Edge, and is left alone with Mabel, but the lights die as they engage. When they come up, the Ministry of Darkness are in the ring, and they eliminate Mabel. They drag him up the aisle to a waiting Undertaker, and the Ministry abducts him, like they did with Mideon/Dennis Knight a while back. That leaves Jesse alone, as Gangrel comes in at lucky #13. Jesse quickly tosses him, and here comes Kurrgan at #14. James does not quickly toss him. #15 is Al Snow, and he gangs up on Kurrgan with Jesse. James betrays him as they’re trying to push Kurrgan over the top, however, and that proves foolish, as now Snow is out, but Jesse is alone with Kurrgan again. Smoke another joint, Jesse. Smoke another joint. Goldust enters the fray at #16, so Jesse tries to give him shattered dreams, but Kurrgan saves. Godfather draws #17, complete with hoes. Meanwhile, still no sign of Vince. You’d think the hoes would have drawn him out of hiding. It’s worth noting that the announcers aren’t even discussing him, just kind of ignoring the fact that he’s still in the match. #18 is Kane, and bodies hit the floor. That draws out the orderlies with a straightjacket, but Kane fights them off, and walks out of the match (over the top). That leaves no one in the ring… and here comes Vince, just as Ken Shamrock enters at #19. He’s Vince’s boy, and McMahon is chill. So chill, in fact, that he goes out to do commentary instead. Ken hangs out until Billy Gunn comes out at #20, and we’re in business. Gunn is out with only one boot, because his ankle is so swollen from earlier. He still manages to run to the ring like Ultimate Warrior anyway, though. Why even bother doing such a dramatic thing to sell an injury, if you’re just going to forget about it anyway? #21 is Test, and that’s bad news for Billy. Meanwhile, we cut to outside of the building, where the Ministry load Mabel into a hearse, in violent fashion. Just as that happens, an ambulance pulls into the garage, and it’s being driven by Stone Cold! He marches right down to ringside, and makes a beeline for Vince. McMahon runs, and Shamrock is able to nail Austin before Steve can get him. Austin manages to toss Ken, but just as he does, Big Boss Man hits the ring as #22. Triple H joins the party at #23, and goes right for Test, pulling him off of Gunn. Val Venis is #24, as Vince shouts at everyone to get Austin out, and collect the $100,000 bounty. Gunn tries, but Steve tosses him. HHH teases an elimination at the hands of Test and Boss Man, as X-Pac comes in at #25. Austin actually dives with a flying axehandle here, which is the first time in a long time I’ve seen him do that. Mark Henry pulls #26, as Vince reacts to the ‘Sammy’ storyline. I’m not sure if “that was a mistake” was meant in kayfabe, or not, but it works either way. Jeff Jarrett enters at #27, and he gangs up on Austin. #28 is D-lo Brown, as Steve tosses Test, and Boss Man tosses X-Pac. Jarrett gets tossed as Owen Hart comes in as #29, and he targets Austin as well. Well, $100,000 buys a lot of postcards. Steve bails out of the ring long enough to throw a pitcher of water at Vince, but Vince doesn’t take the bait, and stays at the announce position. Chyna rounds out the field at #30, becoming the first woman to enter a Rumble match. She goes right for Henry, and I’m shocked to see her working in heels. Chyna dumps Mark, but as she celebrates that, Austin sneaks up to clothesline her over the top. Boy, Steve sure didn’t need to warm up to the idea of hitting a woman, hmm. HHH goes after Steve in response, but Val gets in the way, so Hunter tosses him. That allows Austin to hit a stunner on HHH, and Hunter is gone. I kind of expected HHH to make it into the final four, given who is left in there at this point. The match suddenly starts to drag as everyone slugs it out, and nothing really happens for a few minutes. That feels like a really weird time to downshift. Owen charges Austin, but gets backdropped over the top, leaving McMahon, Austin, Boss Man, and Brown as the final four. Boss Man and Brown double up, but Boss Man dumps him after a few shots. Unfortunately for Boss Man, Austin pops up, hits him with a stunner, and clotheslines him over the top. Vince is still doing commentary, so Austin goes to drag him in, but Steve slips on the way, and McMahon gets some shots in. That doesn’t last long, however, and Vince takes a bump over the barricade. Austin grabs a chair, and Vince takes an unprotected shot to the head, since that’s the theme for the evening, I guess. Into the ring, Vince throws a low blow to buy time, but he’s got no follow up. That allows Austin to deliver a stunner, but he wants to punish McMahon some more. Steve delivers a 2nd rope pointed elbowdrop, and he climbs for another one, but here comes Rock. Austin gets distracted, allowing McMahon to recover, and dump Stone Cold over the top at 56:38! To say this Rumble was ‘polarizing’ at the time would be an understatement, and that remains true even today. For my money, this was a lot of fun. Lots and lots of gaga, but they used it perfectly, covering up roster weaknesses, and giving the match a strong story throughout, while saving all the bigger names for later in the match. And it was one of the better ‘Rumble stories’ they ever told, right up there with Ric Flair in 1992. This Rumble gets a lot of flak for the gaga, but really, would the match have been better if it were more like most modern Rumbles, where guys just kind of come out, punch and kick, and wait for the next guy? This had story, stakes, and strong characters. That’s not a bad thing. ** ½ (Original rating: * ¾)

BUExperience: While there were no standout great matches, everything was solid, and I was pretty consistently entertained here. This was better as a ‘sports entertainment’ show than a pure ‘wrestling’ one, but there’s nothing wrong with that.

**