WWF Monday Night RAW (March 14, 1994)

 

Original Airdate: March 14, 1994

Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Johnny Polo from the studio

Lex Luger v Jimmy Del Ray: From Liberty New York on February 24. I think I went to high school basketball games that had better attendance than this card did. And yet, this is one of my favorite periods in all of wrestling. Go figure. In hindsight though, marketing a character known as the 'gigolo' (complete with that perverted dance) as part of a product aimed mostly at children is a fucking weird call. No wonder attendance was in the toilet. I had no idea what a 'gigolo' was at age nine. I thought it might have something to do with tennis, honestly. I mean, Jim Cornette carried that racket around, and I thought that symbol on the Heavily Bodies' tights was a flaming tennis ball. See, because they could hit it so fast that the ball caught fire. Shut up, it was 1994, NBA Jam Tournament Edition skewed my understanding of the likelihood of balls catching fire in sports. Luger uses his power advantage to dominate in the early going, with Del Ray bouncing all over the place to sell for him. Big charge misses, however, and Lex takes a spill to the outside, where Tom Prichard is waiting to abuse him. Back in, Del Ray capitalizes with a series of kneedrops to the lower back, and he adds some forearm blows to the part. Into the corner for some more cheating with the aid of Prichard, and man, this building is so small that even the banners they have up look comically oversized. And it's not charmingly small, like the Manhattan Center, it's just dinky. The Bodies work Luger over with loads of cheating, but Jimmy misses the flying moonsault, and Lex makes his comeback. Powerslam sets up the torture rack, and Del Ray is done ray at 8:32. This was a very Southern style match. Afterwards, Cornette tries to sneak up on Lex with the tennis racket, but Lex turns the tables, and Cornette leaves the ring with his ass feeling like that tennis ball on the Bodies' tights. That leads to WWF Champion Yokozuna coming out to defend Jim's tushy honor, but the officials block his path, and we're left with them doing a stare down instead. *

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Little Richard is ready for WrestleMania

Bret Hart v Crush: From Liberty on February 23. They size each other up in the early going, with Bret doing his usual brilliant job of getting the little nuances of everything over. The more I watch of his work from this period, the more I really appreciate what an absolute genius he was in the ring. Crush goads him into a test-of-strength, but Bret wrestles to an advantage in the knucklelock, and Crush is forced to use the ropes to escape. He bails to the outside, and both of these guys are selling the absolute hell out of that test-of-strength spot, even a minute after it's over. Crush charges back in, but Bret dodges him, and uses a hangman's clothesline to take him down for one. Hart dives onto his back with a sleeper, so Crush snapmares him off, only to miss a fistdrop. That allows Bret to knock him to the outside with a running backelbow, but Crush blocks a rollup on the way back in, and blasts the Hitman with a superkick. Now firmly in control, Crush works the back, and uses a backbreaker for two. Cross-armbreaker grounds the Hitman, but Bret wrestles it into a cradle for two, so Crush corner whips him, and works a bearhug. He dumps him to the outside for Mr. Fuji to abuse, but the referee intervenes before the manager can, so Crush whips Bret into the steps instead for two. Backbreaker gets two, and a tilt-a-whirl version is worth two. Crush argues the count, allowing Bret to sneak up with a schoolboy for two, but Crush cuts off the comeback with a headbutt. Corner whip follows, but a charge hits boot, and Hart dives off the middle rope with a bulldog for two. Rollup gets two, and a Russian legsweep follows, but Bret takes a bad landing, and the cover is delayed. Hart guts out a 2nd rope pointed elbowdrop, but again bumps his head on the landing, and is slow to recover. Both guys stagger up, and Hart manages to corner him for a ten-punch, but Crush fights him off with an inverted atomic drop. Crush adds another backbreaker (that, like, four of those fuckers now) to set up a dive off the top, but Bret moves, and it's Sharpshooter time! He goes for the hold, so Fuji hops up onto the apron to distract him, and Bret takes the bait. That allows Crush to sneak up, but he accidentally nails Fuji, and Hart hooks a small package - only for Owen Hart to slide in and roll it over, giving Crush the pin at 14:37. Very effective match, as Bret made Crush look dangerous ahead of his match with Randy Savage for the big show, and it added more heat to the Hart brothers' match as well. I'm surprised we didn't get Bret/Crush for the title on TV after WrestleMania, honestly, as this set them up for it perfectly. **

Earlier today, Vince caught up with Randy Savage, who gives an intense interview about how personal his beef with Crush is

Flashback to WrestleMania VIII, where Reba McEntire sang the national anthem 

Rhonda Shear calls in, so excited for the gangbang at WrestleMania

Todd Pettengill is in the studio for the WrestleMania X Report

Yokozuna v Tatanka: From Liberty on February 23, where Yoko's WWF Title is not on the line. A distraction from Mr. Fuji allows Yoko to attack from behind, and Tatanka ends up on his ass in short order. He tries fighting back with some tomahawk chops, but Yoko dodges a dropkick - only for Tatanka to then dodge a splash. He goes up with a flying bodypress for two, and he tries to take control with an armbar, but Yoko whips him into the ropes, and wins a criss cross with a knee. Yoko's nipples were surprisingly small for such a big dude. He works a nervehold (we're almost three minutes in, what do you expect?), until Tatanka starts to fight free, so Yoko dumps him to the outside. He uses the time to undo one of the top turnbuckle pads, and Tatanka takes a bodyslam on the way back in, on his way to getting trapped in another nervehold. Well, this certainly IS a preview of WrestleMania X! Tatanka fights free, but runs into a clothesline as they criss cross. That allows Yoko to go for the exposed buckle, but Tatanka reverses, and we get a dramatic two count out of it. Tatanka starts making a comeback, and a flying tomahawk chop puts Yoko down again for two, but he stupidly tries the End of the Trail, and eats a belly-to-belly suplex instead. Well, he has no one to blame there but himself. I mean, come on! Even Hulk Hogan wouldn't have tried that shit. Banzai Drop finishes at 10:18. This was, like, 35% nervehold. ¼*

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Men on a Mission close us out with the WrestleMania Rap

BUExperience: A rehash of March to WrestleMania, but not a bad one. Of course, WrestleMania X is my all time favorite show, so maybe I'm biased.