WWF Royal Rumble 1988 (Version III)

 

Original Airdate: January 24, 1988

From Hamilton, Ontario, Canada; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Jesse Ventura 

Opening Match: Ricky Steamboat v Rick Rude: Rude tries dumping Steamboat over the top early on, but Ricky skins the cat back in, and Rude ends up on the outside instead. They feel each other out, with Steamboat dominating, until Rude decides to start throwing punches to swing things around. A clothesline misses, however, and Steamboat forces a criss cross, winning it with an armdrag into an armbar. Rude fights free, and manages to win a criss cross with a knee, and Steamboat ends up down on the outside. Rude follows for a bodyslam on the floor, and a vertical suplex back in gets him two. That allows Rick to wear him down with a reverse chinlock, but Steamboat escapes. Rude pounds him back down and covers for two, before going to another reverse chinlock. Steamboat escapes, and chops him down for two, so Rude goes to a headlock, but Steamboat turns it into a reversal sequence - winning with a backslide for two. Steamboat adds a schoolboy for two, and a somersault cradle is worth two. Bodyslam, but Rude counters to a small package for two - reversed by Steamboat for two! Rude throws a clothesline for two, but a vertical suplex gets reversed on him. That allows Steamboat to go upstairs, but Rude pulls the referee into the flightpath of a flying bodypress. That allows Rude a backbreaker rack, but the referee recovers, and calls the DQ on Rude at 17:39. This wasn’t a poor match, but it was a poor opener. Just too long and too slow to kick things off with, both for the live crowd, and especially for the television audience. The last few minutes were great, but overall this wasn’t strong. * (* ¼; * ¼) (Three review average rating: 1.17)

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Dino Bravo joins Gene Okerlund and Jesse Ventura for a podium interview, where he sets the world bench press record of 715 pounds - though not without some help from Jesse. This was a really long segment (over fifteen minutes), where a pre-taped highlight reel would have been much better suited

WWF Women's Tag Team Title Two-out-of-Three Falls Match: The Glamour Girls v The Jumping Bomb Angels: The Angels kickstart things, but Leilani Kai gets control on Itsuki Yamazaki quickly. The champs briefly dominate Yamazaki, but she manages to slip away, and tag to Noriyo Tateno. Tateno comes in with a modified piledriver on Judy Martin for two, as Jesse openly asks what the Bomb Angels’ names are. And Vince openly admits that he has no clue, and just assigns them names based on the color of their gear. To be fair, I don’t really know their names either, but I didn’t fucking hire and employ them. The Angels fight off a double team by doing a rowboat spot, and Tateno holds Kai in a figure four. The Angels dominate, but Tateno gets into trouble, and takes a reverse powerbomb to lose the first fall at 6:00. The Girls go right back to working Tateno over from there, but Tateno fights hard, and is able to pull off a sunset flip at 10:43 to even the score. The Angels turn their victory into momentum, and double up on Kai, but Kai fights Tateno off, and gets the tag. Martin quickly gets into trouble, however, and Yamazaki tags in, but a bodyslam attempt gets blocked. That allows Martin to turn it around, and she delivers a catapult. The champs go to work on Yamazaki, but Tateno gets a tag in, and runs wild. The Angels hit Martin with a combo for two, and Tateno bodyslams her for two. A bridging butterfly suplex gets two, and I love and appreciate how Jesse would always take shots at Joey Marella, even when Gorilla wasn’t around. Yamazaki misses a 2nd rope senton splash, and Martin covers for two. Yamazaki fights off the follow up, and passes back to Tateno for a 2nd rope clothesline, but Kai saves at two. The Angels stay focused, and both head up to different top turnbuckles, then dive at Martin with stereo flying dropkicks to win the belts at 21:02. * (* ¼; **) (Three review average rating: 1.42)

Gene Okerlund and WWF President Jack Tunney host an in-ring contract signing between Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant for their big rematch scheduled for the first Main Event special the next month. These two are such masters of crowd control, that even the way Andre puts his hands in his pockets is strained with tension. As Ted DiBiase (who had not only made a deal with Andre for the belt, but also bought the rights to his contract from Bobby Heenan earlier in the month as well) taunts him relentlessly, Hulk signs - as does the Giant. And, of course, like every other contract signing in wrestling history, it ends with a beat down. This one woman in the front row's shocked reaction is really awesome, though. I mean, what was she expecting? Anyway, a strong segment

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Main Event: 20-Man Royal Rumble Match: Bret Hart draws #1 and Tito Santana gets #2 to get us started. Hart hammers him down in the corner, but Tito reverses him into the ropes, and lands a clothesline. That allows Santana some mounted punches, but Bret fights back with an inverted atomic drop. Hart keeps coming with a 2nd rope pointed elbowdrop, and then a stomp to the groin. Butch Reed draws #3, and immediately helps Bret beat on Tito. Jim Neidhart gets #4, and the three heels work Santana over, hitting him with combos and triple teams. They don’t actually manage to eliminate him, however, and Jake Roberts rushes in at #5, immediately tossing Reed, and attacking the Hart Foundation to give Tito some breathing room. The babyfaces make a comeback, and Jake looks for the DDT on Bret, but Anvil is able to save before he can drop him. That allows Bret to piledrive Santana, as Harley Race joins the party at #6. He hits Jake with a series of elbowdrops on the way in, and he teams with Neidhart to try for an elimination, but Jim has to abandon the effort to go save Bret from elimination on the other side of the ring. #7 is Jim Brunzell to even things up on the babyface side, and Bret nearly gets dumped, but manages to hang on. Sam Houston draws #8, but he immediately gets doubled up on by the Foundation, after stupidly picking a fight with them. Danny Davis gets #9, and nearly eats a DDT from Jake, but manages to hold the ropes to avoid it. #10 is Boris Zhukov, and he goes right for Houston. Don Muraco is #11, but Nikolai Volkoff is hot on his tail, apparently thinking it’s his number. Man, it’s the first one of these, and they’re already adding cool variations. Boris gets dumped as that gets sorted out, and then Volkoff is allowed in at #12. Muraco gets rid of Race, but he gets into a long argument with the official over the call, like it’s FIFA, or something. Jim Duggan draws lucky #13, and he gets into a scuffle with Race on the way in. Ron Bass is in at #14, but doesn’t do much of note. B. Brian Blair draws #15, and goes right for Bret, with Jesse immediately mocking him for going after the guy who has been in the longest. I’m surprised he isn’t praising him for that. Hillbilly Jim is in at #16, and that’s the end of Neidhart’s night. #17 is Dino Bravo, as Bass tosses Houston. Ultimate Warrior draws #18, as Muraco eliminates Bret (who sets the first Iron Man record). #19 is One Man Gang, and it feels like they’re speeding up the clock here, so things must be running heavy. Gang gets rid of Blair and Roberts, and here comes Junkyard Dog at #20 to round out the field. I can’t believe Davis is still in there, but you have to know he’s going soon. Duggan dumps Volkoff and Davis, so there you go. Bass gets Dog out, but Muraco dumps Ron, and that leaves Don Muraco, Jim Duggan, Dino Bravo, and One Man Gang as the final four. Muraco brawls with both heels, but gets distracted by Frenchy Martin, and Bravo is able to clobber him. That allows Gang to charge, and Don is done, leaving Duggan alone with two heels. They double team, but another combo backfires, and Gang accidentally eliminates Bravo. Duggan gets fired up, but Gang is fresher, and shakes him off. He goes for a big charge, but Duggan ducks down, and Gang goes over the top at 33:24. I think Duggan is the only one to ever actually win from the lucky #13 spot, though it was a smaller field. It’s interesting how, even in this first incarnation, they worked a more interesting match than a lot of the modern Rumbles, which very much follow a ‘new guy comes in, runs wild, fades into the background’ script. Not having decades of previous Rumbles to reference was actually an advantage for the early ones. I maintain that Ted DiBiase should have won this one to give him some momentum, and I’m surprised they didn’t book Randy Savage or Honky Tonk Man in it, considering that they were two of the biggest stars in the promotion at the time. Also, am I the only one who found it weird that Tito was in there, but Rick Martel got the night off? * ¾ (* ½; * ¼) (Three review average rating: 1.50)

Hulk Hogan comes back out for a podium interview, and he claims that none of his Hulkamaniacs would ever sell out and that '(he) won't either.' I’ll just leave that one right there

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Two-out-of-Three Falls Match: The Islanders v The Young Stallions: Tama and Jim Powers start, as Vince tries to explain the suspension and unsuspension of the Islanders. Posturing, and both guys tag out. Paul Roma catches Haku with a bodypress for two, and he passes back to Powers for a stereo backelbow for two. The Islanders use a cheap shot to put Paul in trouble, and that’s enough to turn the tide. Roma ends up down on the outside after taking a bump over the top, and his knee is in a bad way, resulting in a countout at 7:41. Roma is all fucked up, so we decide to pause, so Craig DeGeorge can bring Andre and DiBiase back out for a podium interview to respond to Hogan. Mid-match. Why even bother booking a two-out-of-three falls match if you want to spend the time on promos instead? It’s not like anyone was clamoring for the stipulation. The Stallions catches a second wind and dominate Haku, but Powers takes a punch to the gut, and the tide turns again. The Islanders work Powers over, but Haku telegraphs a backdrop, and Jim cradles for two. Haku cuts him off with a backbreaker for two, and the heels go back to working Powers over. Roma gets the hot tag, but the crowd doesn’t even react. Hell, half of them are heading for the exits anyway. And then Paul gets immediately killed, as they target the bad leg, and polish him off with a half crab at 26:13. ¾* (*; ** ½) (Three review average rating: 1.42)

BUExperience: As far as a concept, obviously the Rumble was a huge success. But as a show, this inaugural version was pretty bad, with overlong matches, and that horrible bench press segment. Yes, it wasn’t all bad, and yes, the contract signing was fantastic, but overall this is not worth your time.

DUD