WWF One Night Only (September 1997)

I literally just fucking told you what this is in the headline. Are you fucking stupid? WWF! One Night Only! I’ll tell you more shit later, fuck. You’re getting to be a real dick, you know that?

From Birmingham, England, your hosts are Vince McMahon, Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler, from an arena decked out with enough English regalia to make the Olympics blush.


Opening Match: Hunter Hearst Helmsley v Dude Love: Triple H and Mick Foley were in the midst of an endless (in a good way) feud of opening matches in 1997, and when Mankind just couldn't get the job done, Foley decided to give some of his other multiple personalities a chance, with Dude Love, and, of course, Cactus Jack - all of which would later come back into play during their more famous feud in early 2000. Dude wins a criss cross to start, and catches him with a STIFF looking elbow, and follows with a backdrop out of the corner. Dude dumps him (a sentence I could write all day), and works the arm coming back in. You know, the more I look at him, I think Mick switched gimmicks strictly because of the outfit. You wouldn't want to dress like a giant turd every night, would you? Have all the kiddies shouting 'TURD MAN!!!!' at you at all the airports and bus stops, some of them possibly shitting their own pants while they do it (from excitement, seeing their favorite turd themed grappler!). I'm probably right, too - I mean, he did move on to sweats when he went back to the Mankind gimmick later. No one wants to be mistaken for fighting turd - bottom line - that's all I'm saying. They work a nice inverted ten-punch count sequence off of a Flair Flip, but a chase gets Dude clotheslined by Chyna (Hunter's manager/future porn 'star'). Inside, Hunter goes to work, and a facebuster gets two. Rope assisted abdominal stretch, but the referee must have been watching every other match these two ever had because he catches him, and then actually gets in a fight with the future Triple H, shoving him out of the ring. Wow, I’d love to see that today. The referee would be taking a canoe back to the States. That allows Dude a bulldog for two, but Hunter gets a neckbreaker off of a criss cross. Pedigree, but Dude counters with a slingshot, and he scrambles his brains in the corner. Avalanche, and Dude with a double-arm DDT, but Chyna puts HHH's foot on the ropes. The distraction is enough, and Hunter gets the pin at 11:06. As noted, these two had many matches together during this period, and their chemistry is good enough where even the lesser bouts - such as this one - are fine, but this definitely played like a house show version of their better efforts. **.

Tiger Ali Singh v Leif Cassidy: Sunny is the special ring announcer. Leif would go on to find more fame as Al Snow, and Tiger would never find it, much to the WWF's dismay. Sunny, of course, is still quite famous - as long as you work in a police station, or are a bail bondsman. Cassidy jumps him to start, but gets quickly hammered into the corner, and hit with a Northern Lights suplex. He comes back with a spinkick, and works the arm. He tries for a superplex, but gets knocked off, and Singh finishes with a flying bulldog at 4:10. Al Snow is a fine wrestler, but this was a straight up squash. ¼*.

WWF Tag Team Title Match: The Headbangers v Los Boricuas: The Headbangers are Mosh and Thrasher, while the Boricuas are Savio Vega and Miguel Perez, Jr. The Boricuas jump them during the entrances, and Perez starts with Mosh, officially. Perez, for those who don't remember the horrible 'Gang Warz' period (and, frankly, I don't blame you if you've blocked it entirely), has a full sweater worth of chest and back hair - enough to make even Robin Williams blush. A few minutes of non-action give us the epic Vega/Thrasher showdown, and Savio hits his always impressive cross corner spin heel kick, and they work some restholds, while cheating behind the referees back. Perez tries a swanton bomb - which misses by about a foot – so he follows up with a springboard moonsault, which also doesn't make much contact. His suplex exposes the business far less, and they work in the blind tag spot to really work in some cheap heel heat. Vega with a splash, but he hits the knees, but another well timed cheap shot prevents Thrasher from making the hot tag. Unfortunately, instead of actual offense, they pretty much stick with restholds between the double teams in the corner, and blind tag bits. It's psychologically sound - but boring as an enema. Unless, you know, that’s your thing. Thrasher finally catches Vega with a side suplex, and gets the hot tag to Mosh. He hits a top rope rana on Perez, and a powerslam gets two when Savio saves. Everyone brawls, and Mosh hits Perez with the Mosh Pit (a diving senton) to retain at 14:07. About too long by a half, but psychologically sound enough. Basically a house show title defense. ¼*.

The Patriot v Flash Funk: The battle of Buff Bagwell's former tag team partners! Also, hey, I get that The Patriot was in the midst of a pretty big push at this point, feuding with WWF Champion Bret Hart, and all, but, seriously? Does he seem like the guy with the right gimmick for a show taking place in England, where Bret Hart was promoted as a top babyface, and his stable mate 'The British Bulldog' Davey Boy Smith is a national hero, in the main event, getting placement over even the WWF Title? Coming down waving Old Glory like there's no tomorrow isn't helping you much there, either, Del. They do some mat wrestling to start - establishing that they're both faces - until Funk starts throwing kicks. Patriot responds with a lariat, and a falling headbutt gets two, but he misses a blind charge, and Funk catches him with a flying bodypress for two. Spinkick, and he works a chinlock. To the corner, but Patriot counters with a nice atomic drop into a side suplex combo. Criss cross, and Funk catches his with a reverse spinkick, but gets powerslammed for two. He tries a backdrop, but gets victory rolled for two, in a nice sequence. Patriot swats him away, and hits a flying shoulderblock for two, but gets slammed, and Flash hits a flying splash. Moonsault hits the knees, and Patriot finishes him with a full nelson slam in 9:38, getting booed out of the building, despite being a face. Hey, I told you. Match picked up towards the end with the non-stop back and forth, and at the very least, Bagwell can definitely sleep well knowing he made the right choice in dumping Funk for the Patriot in 1994. * ¾.

The Legion of Doom v The Godwinns: See, The Godwinns also bring out a flag, but they're heels, and they bring a Confederate flag, which actually makes sense - even in England - as it's the universal symbol for 'dumbass hicks.' The LOD dominate the early going with a devastating array of chinlocks, but a cheap shot allows Henry to Cactus clothesline Animal to the floor, turning the tide. Phineas with a DDT, and the Godwinns cut the ring in half. Henry hits Hawk with the Slop Drop (inverted DDT), but it only gets two, so they go to Plan B: cheat outrageously. Oh, and more restholds. Can't ever forget the restholds. Hawk makes the comeback with a pair of clotheslines, gets off the tag, and the Doomsday Device finishes at 11:34. Well, The Boricuas match had better psychology, but this one had rednecks. It just depends what you're in the mood for, really. DUD.

Vader v Owen Hart: Both of these guys would be so over today, they would run John Cena out of town in a week. Vader uses his size to toss him around to start, allowing Owen to do his human-pinball routine. He comes back with a rana, and a springboard bodypress gets two. He goes for the Sharpshooter early, but Vader powers out, so Owen tries a suplex. Vader reverses, but Owen counters THAT into a cradle for two. Crucifix, but Vader counters with a Samoan drop, and a 2nd rope splash gets two. Owen takes Bret's chest first cross corner bump (and as well as his brother), and a short clothesline. Ooh, Vader's working stiff tonight. Of course, that's like saying 'ooh, water's wet tonight.' Avalanche, and Vader grabs a leglock, as Owen sells it like he's dying. 2nd Avalanche misses, but Owen stupidly tries a slam, and gets swatted. Will no one ever learn anything from all those Hogan matches? That shit never works unless you properly Hulk Up! Powerbomb, but Owen counters with the enzuigiri, and gets the Sharpshooter. It doesn't last, however, as Vader makes the ropes. Owen actually pulls off the bodyslam for two (he didn't even Hulk Up! No wonder they whacked him), and a missile dropkick as the crowd goes wild. Spinheel kick for two, and he tries a flying bodypress, but Vader catches him with a powerslam for the pin at 14:21. These two had excellent chemistry, and timing - very well worked match. *** ½.

WWF Title Match: Bret Hart v The Undertaker: 'Taker comes right at him to start, beating him from post to post, but misses an elbow drop. Bret goes right for the Sharpshooter, which works as well for him as it did for Owen in the last match, so he dumps 'Taker to the floor, and then baseball slides him into the announce table. He dives off of the apron after him, but 'Taker catches, and rams him into the post. They brawl up the aisle, and 'Taker gently slams him on the ramp way in a spot that looked so worked he might as well have dumped him onto a feather bed, while kittens lick his feet - or, in Bret's case, it would be strippers, and his balls. Inside, Hart catches him with a DDT, but takes his chest first corner bump into the exposed corner (Bret had exposed it earlier, but failed to use it to his advantage). 'Taker capitalizes, pounding on the injured sternum, dropping elbows, and catching him in a bow-and-arrow. He misses a cross corner knee, however, and Bret smells blood, going right to work. Ringpost figure four (a spot I didn't like as a kid, when Bret introduced it, and still don't today - awkward looking, and you can't get a submission off of it, as you're technically getting counted out), and then a standard version. You know, the type where he actually win the match with it. 'Taker reverses, however, so Bret grabs the ropes. Big boot misses, allowing Bret to go back to the knee. Russian legsweep gets two. Suplex gets two. Backbreaker, but the 2nd rope elbow is met with a boot from the Undertaker, and we get a double knockout spot. 'Taker's up first, and gets a ball shot in (to the dismay of every strip club in Birmingham) but a 2^nd attempt gets him countered into the Sharpshooter, ala SummerSlam '91. Hey, Bret's balls need to be in full working order. Fuck you, 'Taker – work the back. Undertaker powers out, so Bret retaliates with a pair of his own nut shots (like any needy friend, if he's not getting laid - NO ONE IS!), but that just pisses 'Taker off more, and he hits the big boot for two. Looks like this is no longer a battle for the WWF Title, and more about each man’s raging sexual frustration. Bret clips the knee, but gets dumped (taking out a camera man in the process), and tossed pretty viciously into the steps. Guess he wanted to make up for that lame ramp way bump earlier. Inside, they do a great bit, as 'Taker tries a cross corner whip, but Bret sees the exposed corner coming, and tries to bail, but ends up posting himself in his efforts. Awesome. Ropewalk forearm attempt, but Hart slams him off, and tries a tombstone. He gets reversed, of course, but reverses again, and gets dumped into the ropes, getting tied up, the way Mick Foley lost an ear in Germany in 1994. Owen Hart and a bunch of WWF Officials run down to free him, so 'Taker starts chokeslamming everybody, and the official decision is Bret by DQ at 28:42. Match was solid, but far too long for THAT ending. I mean, hey, look, I completely understand why they wouldn’t book a clean ending here – especially on what’s essentially a C-show – but he’s got Hart tied up in the ropes – completely vulnerable – and he starts beating the shit out of officials? What? That doesn’t even make a little bit of sense. ** ½.

Main Event: WWF European Title Match: Davey Boy Smith v Shawn Michaels: Davey is, of course, massively over in his home country. He throws Shawn around to start, with the crowd hanging on his every move. Shawn nearly brings the ring down on a corner bump, and Davey nearly launches him into the front row with a clothesline. Davey with a long delayed Gorilla press slam, and he grabs an abdominal stretch (did he forget he's working face?), but the crowd is so hot, they stay into it. Shawn with a blind charge, but Davey backdrops him to the floor, and then whips him back in, in a visually impressive series of spots. Shawn tries a rana, but Smith counters with a sitout powerbomb for two, and works the arm. Considering his finisher is a running powerslam - not the best psychology - but let's see where it goes. Davey drops him like a Samoan, and hooks a surfboard - one of my favorite spots of hit. Hanging vertical suplex gets two, as at least now he's focusing on the back. Rollup for two, and Rick Rude (who had been acting has Shawn Michaels' bodyguard during the early days of DX) makes his way out. He distracts Davey long enough for Shawn to dump him, and Rude posts him, earning his dirty DX money for the night. Seriously, it probably came out of someone's asshole. And that someone was likely Triple H. Shawn follows out with a flying axehandle, and inside grabs a sleeper. Of course, the difference between a Shawn Michaels-sleeper and most everyone else is that he ties up the arm with his legs, and actually works some two counts off of it, making it more than just a mere resthold. Bulldog powers out, and they do a double knockout spot, drawing Hunter down, likely looking to get his ass money back. Davey with a big backdrop, and a slingshot for two, as DX surrounds the ring. Smith misses a blind charge, and Shawn with a pair of his always fantastic flying elbow drops. Superkick misses, however, but Rude helps Shawn escape the running powerslam, and they spill to the floor. Shawn nails him with the superkick out there, and Triple H gives him a pedigree for good measure. Inside, Shawn rips off Bulldog's knee brace, and throws it into the front row - right to where Davey's wife and sick sister are sitting. Cold. Figure four (with leverage from Hunter and Chyna), and Rude preventing him from reversing, or grabbing the ropes. Davey puts up a valiant effort, but the referee calls it at 25:24, and we have a new champion. This was actually a huge political move by Michaels, as he was scheduled to lose here (Davey NEVER loses in England), but got into Vince's ear that he should have the European Title (because, why not?), and had the booking changed - despite the fact that Davey had specially brought in his ill sister out to see him defend his title, and the crowd literally filled the ring with garbage at the decision. And that was Shawn Michaels on a relatively good day before the back injury and the Jesus finding. Politics aside, these two wrestled enough matches with each other in 1996 to have rhythm (though, it's interesting to see the heel/face dynamic reversed here), but Bulldog matches in England are like Bond films - you know he's going to win, you just don't know what kind of trouble he's going to get in to this time, and that's what makes it interesting. *** ¼.

BUExperience:  1997 was, to say the least, an odd time for the WWF. Besides everything else going on, they constantly had one of their four top stars (Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, The Undertaker, Steve Austin) out of action for one reason or another, and it’s almost impossible to find a show where all four lace up their boots – this one included. This card plays like a house show, with a main event that was taped for television. It’s certainly historically significant for the Michaels/Bulldog title change, and there’s a fun Owen/Vader match, but nothing to go out of your way to see. **.