WWE Backlash (April 2006)

Original Airdate: April 30, 2006

From Lexington, Kentucky; Your Hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler

Opening Match: Carlito v Chris Masters: Both guys have really cool colors for their gear. Masters gets in his face at the bell, which earns him a firm slap across the chops - which in turn earns Carlito a whooping. Carlito throws a dropkick at the knee to setup a bulldog, but it's only worth a one count. Masters shoots back with a nice backdrop for two, and a press-slam, but Carlito gets a full-nelson (Masters' finish is a full-nelson known as the MasterLock). Chris powers out, but misses a charge, and goes flying out - Carlito after him with a plancha. Back in, Carlito hammers him in the corner with a ten-punch, but a cross corner whip is reversed, and Chris kills him with a turnbuckle powerbomb for two. Okay, so maybe not quite 'killed,' then. Straddling ropechoke and a legdrop get two, and Masters applies a headvice. Carlito tries escaping, so Masters drops him with a backelbow for two, then a neckbreaker for two. Clothesline allows Masters to wail on him with mounted punches, then drop him into the corner with a snake-eyes. MasterLock, but Carlito counters with a victory cradle for two, then throws a nice springboard backelbow to turn the tide. Baseball slide into the knee and a series of clotheslines daze Masters, and a dropkick puts him down for two. Flying moonsault press gets two, but a reversal sequence ends in Chris trying the MasterLock again - only to get knocked into the corner to block, and Carlito quickly capitalizing with a Back Stabber for the pin (with two feet on the ropes) at 9:58. Good opener, with both guys working hard, and turning in a well paced effort. ** ¾

Ric Flair v Umaga: Brawl on the floor to start, then in, where Umaga pounds him in the corner. Ric goes to the eyes to slow the assault, then adds a low blow to stop it altogether. Chops, but Umaga gets sick of selling, and corner clotheslines him - only to miss a charge. Ric bails to the floor for a breather, but Umaga is right after him, so Flair dodges another charge - this one resulting in the Samoan posting himself. Back in, Flair goes after the knee, but the Figure Four gets blocked, and Umaga ties him in a tree of woe. Samoan Wrecking Ball sets up a 2^nd rope flying headbutt, and the Samoan Spike finishes Flair at 3:29. Wow, that was basically a squash. Good on Flair for going out and basically playing an enchantment schlub for a young guy. * ¼

WWE Women's Title Match: Mickie James v Trish Stratus: Mickie works a wristlock to start, but Trish takes her down for two. Matrix into a headscissors takedown leads to a clothesline, followed by a dropkick from the challenger. Chick Kick, but Mickie ducks, so Trish settles for a bicycle kick instead. That sends the champion to the outside, but Trish is right on her with a Thesz-press off the apron - getting two on the way back in. Stinger splash sets up a ten-punch count, but James shoves her over the top to the floor to get out of it. Trish beats the count, but Mickie is ready with a bootchoke for two. Lots more choking follows, in fact - so much so that the referee disqualifies James over it at 4:05. Well, that was a finish, I guess. Not a good one, mind you, but a finish nonetheless. * ½

WWE Intercontinental Title v Money in the Bank Contract Match: Shelton Benjamin v Rob Van Dam: Feeling out process to start, until Shelton suckers him into accepting a clean break, and nailing him. Van Dam fires back with a spinkick to send the champion to the outside, and a spinheel kick is waiting for him as he comes back in. Bodyslam sets up Rolling Thunder, but Shelton bails to avoid it, so Rob dives after him with a plancha instead. RVD tries to take it in, but Benjamin blocks, and hits a sunsetbomb on the floor that gets two on the way back in. Straddling ropechoke gets two, and Shelton works a chinlock. Rob tries escaping, so Benjamin drops him with a running kneelift for two, then delivers a backbreaker before going back to the chinlock. Rob gets the ropes to escape this time, so Shelton responds with a pair of bodyslams, then goes back to the hold. Dude, it's a fucking chinlock. Move on. T-Bone Suplex looks to finish, but Van Dam blocks, and smacks him with a backelbow to setup Rolling Thunder - only to get caught in a Samoan drop for two! Benjamin keeps him grounded in a waistlock, but Van Dam fights to a vertical base, so Shelton decides to teach him a thing or two about 'vertical' - vertical superplexing him for two. Chinlock, but RVD escapes again, and dodges a dropkick attempt from the champion. Van Dam starts mounting a comeback, and a springboard sidekick leads to a spinheel kick to setup Rolling Thunder for two. Slam sets up a split-legged moonsault for two, but Benjamin lands on his feet to avoid a monkeyflip - forcing Van Dam to reroute with another spinheel kick. Five Star Frogsplash looks to finish, but Shelton rolls out of the way, then plants his challenger with a DDT - only for two! To the outside, Shelton grabs the briefcase, but Rob knocks it away from him, so Benjamin throws a flying splash - only for Van Dam to roll through for two! Shelton tries a spinkick, but Rob ducks, and hooks a rana. That sends Shelton grabbing for the case again, but ends up getting it kicked into his face, and the Frogsplash crowns a new champion at 18:41. The announcers were basically all but promising a four star classic here, and while this fell well short of that mark, it was still a good bout, if a bit chinlocky. ***

Big Show v Kane: Kane tries slugging at the bell, but gets press-slammed for his efforts, then pounded in the corner. Show works the arm, but gets rammed into the post on the apron, and Kane hits a corner clothesline for two. Show shoots back with a bodyslam, but misses an elbowdrop, and now it's Kane's turn to work the arm. Big boot sets up a flying clothesline, but Show catches him in a fallaway slam, then throws a clothesline. Avalanche and a shoulderblock setup the Chokeslam, but the arm is battered, and Kane is able to take him down for two. Show responds with a big boot of his own, and he adds a legdrop for two. Well, this isn't 1986, to be fair. Powerslam gets two, but Kane blocks an attempt at an eye poke, and big boots Show out of the ring when suddenly the area lights all turn red, and creepy voices taunt Kane with mentions of 'May 19.' Kane completely loses his shit (rolling around on the ground while hitting himself in the head), until Show decides to knock some sense into him. Unfortunately he decides to do so with a chair, and the whole thing is ruled a no-contest at 9:00. Dull stuff, though it picked up towards the end, before ultimately crashing back down with the stupid non-finish. ½*

No Holds Barred Handicap Match: Shawn Michaels v Vince McMahon and Shane McMahon: Yes, technically this is billed as a tag match with Shawn and God against the McMahons, but let's all do what I did, and pretend that never happened. The BALLS on them in 2006, fuck! Vince's nearly explodes as he screams at Shawn before the bell (like, holy shit, that is the reddest I have ever seen a human being get), but he ends up getting his ass kicked after telling Michaels that both he and God will be going 'straight to hell' tonight. Again, the balls on them in 2006! Shawn destroys both guys and hits a few dives out of the ring before brawling up the ramp with Shane. Shane tries a piledriver off the stage, but Michaels counters with a backdrop, so Vince hustles over with a chair - only to get bodypressed off the stage by Shawn! Michaels pulls himself out of the rubble and up the stage, where he's met with a wild chairshot from Shane - the camera angle perfectly accentuating the spot so that you couldn't see Shane coming until the last possible moment. That busts Shawn open, and Shane hammers the cut all the way back down to ringside, where he whips Michaels into the post, then armdrags him into the guardrail. I've said it before, and I'll say it again now: moves into the rail became significantly less impressive once they switched from the classic steel to the giant padded ones. Inside, Shane side suplexes him, but a flying elbowdrop misses, as Vince joins us on the apron to settle things down into a proper tag format. Shawn has no one to tag out to, however, and Shane DDTs him before passing out to Vince, who promptly beats Michaels with his belt. It's like these two are finally living out their wildest fantasies from 1996, or something. Vince then adds a shot with a trashcan, before stopping to grab a microphone, and mock Shawn for his faith. Superkick, but Michaels blocks, and forearms Vinny down. That draws Shane in with a chair, but he ends up cracking Vince, and Michaels mounts his usual comeback on Shane instead. Bodyslam sets up a flying elbowdrop, and both McMahon's eat Superkicks! No cover, as Michaels isn't through with them. Instead, he retrieves a super tall ladder and pair of tables, and puts a McMahon on each. He climbs to finish them off, but the Spirit Squad show up, so Michaels instead dives out onto all of them, in a crazy spot. Unfortunately for Shawn, unlike at WrestleMania, he fails to fight them all off single handedly (I guess he finally ran through his supply of that Hulk juice he had left over from the build to SummerSlam), and they put him through a table with High Spirits for Vince to pin at 19:59. This wasn't nearly as entertaining as the WrestleMania match, and felt kind of needless given that Shawn had already decisively beaten Vince at that show, and beaten up Shane and the Squad as well. Not to mention, this match didn't break any new ground, and felt like a total warmed over rehash. **

Main Event: WWE Title Triple Threat Match: John Cena v Triple H v Edge: First fall wins it. Edge wisely bails to the floor and lets the other two guys start off alone, which Cena controls with shoulderblocks and a vertical suplex for two - Edge popping in the break the count, then right back out. That allows HHH to turn the tide with an inverted atomic drop, and he adds a high knee - Edge pulling Hunter out at two. Slugfest staggers both guys, but the shit eating grin on Edge's face annoys them more than they do each other, and they drag him in to participate as well. They take turns ramming Edge into the announce table about a dozen times, before HHH inevitably turns on Cena, and tries to finish Edge off himself. Edge manages a drop-toehold into the turnbuckle to slow the effort down, but Cena takes both guys out at Edge tries a vertical suplex, then hits his challenger with a flying splash for two. Don't see that one out of John-boy too often. Five Knuckle Shuffle looks to follow, but Lita pulls down the top rope to send him flying, and HHH rams him into the steps for good measure. Inside, Hunter hits Edge with a kneeling facebuster for two, and a rotating spinebuster is worth two. Vertical suplex, but Edge counters into the Edge-o-Matic for two, so HHH tries a sleeper - reversed by Edge. Cena rushes in and picks both guys up for a double-FU, but Edge slips free before it can be executed, and Spears Cena - in turn causing him to hit HHH with a Samoan drop as he falls. Edge goes to the floor to bust Hunter with into the post via a slingshot, and he adds an Impaler on the announce table - which fails to break. Holy shit, HHH's bladejob is all kinds of gory here. With HHH down, Edge hits Cena with a missile dropkick for two on the way back in, and a Spear drills Cena into the buckles. Impaler looks to finish, but Cena counters to the STF, so a blood covered HHH saves. He looks like Carrie at the prom here, fuck. Hunter knocks Edge into the crowd with a chairshot, but gets trapped in the STF as well on the way back in! HHH leaves a literal pool of blood as he fades, but manages to make the ropes, so Cena tries the FU. Hunter counters to the Pedigree, but John counters back to the STF - only for Edge to start climbing to the top rope, forcing Cena to release the hold to deal with him. John tries to bring him down with an FU off the top, but HHH butts in by slamming both guys down. Edge gets the worst of it, so Lita heads in with a chair to try and help out, but takes a rotating spinebuster from HHH in the process. The Game finds his ever present sledgehammer underneath the ring (one of these days, you'd think an opponent would take the time to check the ring before the match to prevent that), but Edge Spears it out of his hands. He himself grabs it, but Cena counters with the FU - only for HHH to blow him low, thus causing Cena to drop Edge over the top to the floor. Pedigree, but Cena counters with a somersault cradle to retain at 17:34. A solid enough piece of work, though lacking much imagination. ** ½

BUExperience: There’s nothing poor or offensive here, but nothing particularly exciting, either. Definitely a show that falls into that class of cards that aren’t quite good or bad, but where the most distinctive overall quality is its blandness.

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