Goody Bag XV: Barbed Gems

Barbed Wire Fire Death Match: Terry Funk v Cactus Jack: From IWA Japan Duel of the Wilds in Saitama Japan on January 8 1995. Terry throws a chair at him before Jack even gets into the ring, then follows him to the floor for some abuse with it. Inside, Funk tries to whip him into the wire, but Jack reverses - only for Terry to stop short. They decide to slug it out, with Jack able to control, but whipping Funk into the ropes fails when Terry slides out of the ring. Cactus follows him out for a brawl into the "crowd" (the quotation marks because there are more empty chairs than actual bodies in this small gymnasium), then back in for Funk to try a spinning-toehold, but Jack blocks. Terry keeps coming and gets it applied on the second go around, but Jack quickly slugs free, and is able to bust him open. Well, that was inevitable. Jack uses the wire, and fuck this is nasty. I mean, it's just straight up tearing Terry's arm apart. Of course, that's not good enough for Cactus, so he busts out a flaming chair to beat on Funk with, and they fight back into the crowd. Funk manages to hiptoss Cactus onto the flaming chair, and this is just a disaster waiting to happen. They somehow get the flaming chair into the ring, and Jack whacks Terry with it for two. Vertical suplex, but Funk counters by dropping Jack front-first across the wire, then adding a DDT. Terry with a series of headbutts before tossing Jack into the wire, and he chokes Cactus with it. Back to the outside, Funk sends him into a propped up table, then brings out a flaming branding iron to brand Jack with. Cactus responds by grabbing a barbed wire 2x4, but Funk swats it out of his hand with the flaming iron, so Jack hits a backbreaker on the floor, then follows with a flying elbowdrop off of the apron. Jack then grabs a bunch of chairs and starts burying Funk in them, but Terry rises up and starts swinging - even decking some poor fan in the process. Jack chokes him down with a t-shirt on the way back in for two, and the Double-Arm DDT is worth two. Cactus with a vertical suplex for two, and both guys end up getting tangled up in strands of wire. Cactus tries a hotshot into the wire, but Terry counters with a sloppy DDT to end it at 15:55 - which Funk celebrates by beating up the referee. Look, it's no secret that I'm not a fan of the style, but I've heard about these gory Funk/Foley Japanese Death Matches for literally twenty years, and it was about time I checked it out. Like I said, the style isn't really my cup of tea, but you can't help but admire what both guys put into this - literally bleeding for their art. I mean, this wasn't even a particularly sizeable crowd, but these two were pulling out all the stops like it was the main event of WrestleMania. *** ½

King of the Death Match Tournament Quarterfinal Match: Barbed Wire Baseball Bat and Thumbtacks Match: Cactus Jack v Terry Gordy: From IWA Japan Kawasaki Dream on August 20 1995 in Kawasaki. Gordy gets the bat right away, and starts beating Jack with it until he retreats. Gordy chases for a brawl on the outside, then back in for a hiptoss - Jack narrowly avoiding the bed of thumbtacks. Gordy tries to rub his face in the tacks, but Jack blocks, so Gordy tries a bulldog, but Cactus bails to the floor. They slug it out on the outside again, but this time Cactus gets the better of it. He tries a bulldog into the tacks on the way back in, but Gordy counters with a side suplex. Piledriver follows, but Jack backdrops him over the top - only to get slammed from the middle rope to the floor while attempting a flying elbowdrop follow-up! Nice bump there - which is no shock, of course. Inside, Gordy manages to drop him face first into the tacks, so Jack utilizes a low blow, then gives him a shot with the barbed bat. Straddling ropechoke and a legdrop follow, and they spill to the outside again - Terry sending him into the crowd with a clothesline. He follows for a piledriver onto a table, then back in for a powerbomb into the tacks! Another powerbomb onto the mat gets two, so Jack throws a handful of tacks into his eyes to blind him, then quickly follows up with a Double-Arm DDT into the tacks for the pin at 6:58 - Gordy refusing to make contact with the tacks to sell the move. This one was ALL Cactus, as he took every major bump, and Gordy wrestled the entire match looking like he was afraid of the ball. I mean, not that I blame him (I wouldn't do it either), but it certainly didn't help the match. Great performance by Jack, though. ** ¼

King of the Death Match Tournament Semifinal Match: Barbed Wire Board and Spiked Nail Match: Cactus Jack v Shoji Nakamaki: From IWA Japan Kawasaki Dream on August 20 1995 in Kawasaki. Jack stomps him down early on, and uses a baseball slide to send Nakamaki out of the ring, and into the barbed board sitting at ringside. Cactus props it up against the ring, but Nakamaki reverses a whip, and Jack finds out what 'cactus' is all about. Nakamaki with a vertical suplex on the floor, so Jack throws the barbed board at him, and he wraps a strand around his head. Back in, Jack gets sent into the board of nails a few times, but he takes revenge by using the barbed board on Nakamaki for two. Jack then suplexes the board onto Nakamaki, before knocking him out of the ring onto another bed of nails. Jack then gets brutal (well, MORE brutal) by covering Nakamaki in the bed of nails, then diving off the apron with a flying elbowdrop to drive them into his body! Ouch, ouch, OUCH! It only gets two though, and Nakamaki headbutts him into the nails a few times, then down into the wire. He tries following up with a splash, but Jack dodges, and Nakamaki lands in the wire. Jack vertical suplexes him into more wire, but a 2^nd rope flying elbowdrop is only worth two. Elbowdrop onto the wire gets two, but Nakamaki starts throwing headbutts, and adds a DDT for two. Jack one ups him with a Double-Arm DDT into the wire, however, and that's enough at 9:49. Nakamaki certainly was a lot more willing to bump than Gordy was, but this was a total freak show. Of course, that's kind of what this tournament was MEANT to be though, so you can't say it didn't deliver, I suppose. ** ¼

King of the Death Match Tournament Final: Barbed Wire Rope Exploding Board Exploding Ring Time Bomb Death Match: Terry Funk v Cactus Jack: From IWA Japan Kawasaki Dream on August 20 1995 in Kawasaki. Jack tries to whip him into the ropes early on, but Funk stops short and delivers a neckbreaker instead, so Cactus bails. Back in, Jack manages to rub his face into the wire, but Funk blocks a vertical suplex onto an exploding board by shoving Jack into the ropes - only to get slugged down onto an exploding board for two! These boys just ain't right. Both guys use the wire ropes to their advantage, and Funk manages a butterfly suplex before unloading some headbutts. That's enough to wear Jack down for a hiptoss onto an exploding board, and Funk adds a piledriver for good measure. Another piledriver through a barbed board follows, and Terry throws Jack through another barbed board in the corner for two. There is just so much barbed wire in that ring that it's ridiculous. It's more barbed wire than anything else! To the outside, Jack manages to put him down for an elbowdrop, then covers Terry in a barbed board - elbowdropping that into him! Whip into the rail gets reversed, however, and Jack crashes out into the first row. At least there are actual fans out there this time, and they're not just killing themselves for rows of empty chairs. Back in, Funk applies a spinning-toehold, but Tiger Jeet Singh runs in, and uses a sword to break it up. He and Jack then whip Terry into an exploding board, and Cactus adds a swinging neckbreaker for two. Double-Arm DDT is worth two, so Jack gives him a second one, when suddenly the ring posts explode. Jack tries a bulldog next, but Terry counters with a side suplex onto an exploding board, and thank God this is taking place in an outdoor stadium, because I can't even imagine what all this would do to the ventilation system in a traditional arena. Jack brings a ladder into the madness - charging Funk with it and then suplexing the ladder onto him for two. Jack climbs the ladder for a flying elbowdrop onto Funk, but THAT'S only worth two. I mean, what else is left? Cactus looks to find out by climbing the ladder again, but Terry tips him over into the barbed ropes - only for Funk is so battered that Jack pins him anyway at 13:21. These two certainly gave the fans their money's worth, that much is for sure. This one has a has a legendary reputation for good reason. Even if it may not be your particular brand of vodka, but you have to respect the performance. *** ½

William Regal v Samoa Joe: From Ultimate Pro Wrestling on October 11 2000, when Regal was on the WWF roster (UPW had a working relationship with the WWF at the time). I don't know whose on commentary here, but they can't decide whether Regal is 'Steven' or 'William,' and refer to Joe as 'that greasy Samoan' at points. Feeling out process to start, with Joe hanging with the veteran, but getting outfoxed, and sent into the post. Regal immediately grounds him in stretch, but Joe fights free, and delivers a superkick for two. Trying to slug it out with Regal ends badly, however, and William puts him down with a pair of knees. Butterfly suplex for two, so Regal tries a cobra clutch, but Joe elbows free, and release overhead suplexes him for two. Enzuigiri gets two, and a rotating spinebuster is worth two. The mat here looks like a repurposed pool cover. Big boot follows, but Regal clips the knee to prevent a follow-up, then quickly takes him down for the Regal Stretch at 7:03. This isn't really a match worth generally going out of your way to see, but it's interesting because of who Joe is now. * ¼

FCW Florida Title Match: Seth Rollins v Kassius Ohno: From FCW TV on April 29 2012 (taped April 5) from Tampa. Tiny venue here. I mean, it makes the ECW arena look like the Pontiac Silverdome. Feeling out process to start, with Rollins able to take control with a dropkick, then down into a side-headlock. Seth unloads some chops in the corner to setup a bodyslam and a kneedrop for two, but a sunset bomb off of the apron gets blocked, and Ohno grounds him in a cravat. Criss cross goes Seth's way with a cradle for two, but Ohno shoves him to the outside to block a follow-up, then brings him back in for some abuse in the corner. Ohno with a sling blade for two, but a somersault senton splash is blocked by Seth's lifting the knees, and a slugfest goes the champion's way. Dropkick knocks Ohno to the outside for a plancha, but the challenger dodges. He tries his own dive, but Seth dodges, then manages to hit a tope before Ohno can dodge that as well. It gets two on the way back in, and Seth tries a superkick, but Ohno blocks with a waistlock. Kassius with a modified release vertical suplex for two, so Rollins throws an enzuigiri at him, then follows with a flying forearm smash into a superkick for two. Ohno fires back with a rolling elbow for two, and the Ohno Blade is worth two. Again, but Rollins counters with an enzuigiri, and the curb stomp retains at 16:40. This one is less interesting than the Regal/Joe match in that it isn't quite far back enough in time to have that 'before they were stars' type of appeal. I mean, Rollins was walking out of WrestleMania with the top title not three years after this. **