Goody Bag XVII: Garden Variety

 

Cage Match: Ultimate Warrior v Randy Savage: From Madison Square Garden on January 21 1991, just two days after Savage cost Warrior the WWF Title to Sgt. Slaughter at the Royal Rumble. Warrior is good and pissed about that, too, and he attacks Macho on the outside with a chair during the entrances. He beats Randy's ass all the way around ringside before forcing him in through the door, where the beating continues, unabated. Poor Sherri is just flipping out on the floor. After about a dozen clotheslines, Savage finally manages to return fire by sending Warrior into the cage, but as he charges with a big hangman's clothesline, Warrior sticks his arm out as well, and we've got a double knockout spot for two. Weird bit there, as the referee is stationed outside of the cage, and had to slide in to make the count. Looks like he improvised that, because I'm pretty sure this is escape rules, and the referee goes right back to the floor after counting two. Savage manages to control with a bootchoke and some jabs in the corner, then with a bodyslam to setup the Flying Elbowdrop for two - the referee having to run in again. They're just making this up as they go along, ain't they? Warrior starts BLOWING UP!! but the splash hits knees, and Savage climbs. He actually gets up and over, and nearly all the way down to the floor when Warrior reaches through the bars and grabs him. Good timing there, without looking phony. He starts pulling Macho up, so Sherri runs in and starts pounding on him to loosen the grip - allowing Savage to fall to the floor for the win at 10:33. Kind of a boring match, honestly. ½* (Original rating: ½*)

Body Bag Match: Ultimate Warrior v Undertaker: From MSG, July 1 1991. Undertaker tries attacking him as Warrior slides into the ring, but Warrior pulls him to the outside, and they brawl around ringside - Warrior sending him into the post out there. Inside, Warrior stays on him with a bunch of turnbuckle smashes, but Undertaker no-sells everything. Warrior decides to try a cross corner whip, but when he follows in, Undertaker blocks with a clothesline, and adds a jumping version for good measure. He chokes Warrior down in the corner, but misses another clothesline, and gets bodyslammed. Both guys miss elbowdrops, and Undertaker gets the better of it with another choke in the corner. When Warrior is the guy carrying this with his selling, you know you're in trouble. He misses his own cross corner charge, and Warrior capitalizes with a piledriver, but Undertaker no-sells it. Warrior with another piledriver that gets no-sold, but a third actually gets some traction. Unfortunately, a splash followup is blocked with a choke. Oh well. Warrior actually delivered some nice piledrivers there, though. Kind of surprised he didn't use those more regularly. Undertaker looks for the kill with the Tombstone, but he fails to get Warrior all the way into the bag to finish it. Warrior starts mounting his usual comeback, but Undertaker won't stay down, so he steals the urn from Paul Bearer, and whacks him with it - knocking him out for long enough to stuff into the bag at 9:29. This was extremely repeatative (it was the same few moves over and over and over again), but it was entertaining in its own way, and didn't drag. ¾*

WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Bret Hart v Ted DiBiase: From MSG, December 29 1991. Feeling out process to start, and Hart sends him over the top with an atomic drop, then brings him back in with a snapmare to setup a legdrop for two. They continue feeling eachother out on the mat, until a criss cross results in Hart taking a hotshot, and DiBiase keeps after the throat with a variety of choking techniques. Nice attention to detail, as even a clothesline is thrown at the throat area. DiBiase with a pair of turnbuckle smashes and a swinging neckbreaker for two, and he grounds the champion in a chinlock. Sherri distracts the referee to allow Ted to get in all sorts of illegal choking, but Bret fights him off, so DiBiase allows him to take his chest-first cross corner bump. And it's a doozy, too! Million Dollar Dream looks to finish, and Sherri seems to think so too, since sherings the bell at 14:30. I get that she's hoping this will fool the fans, but she does remember that there's a referee in there, doesn't she? I mean, does she think he's just going to be, like, 'oh shit, I guess he did submit,' or something. Plus, DiBiase had the hold on, and Hart was fading. Now, he doesn't have the hold on, and Hart has had time to recover while the official sorts it out. No wonder he let her go to Shawn Michaels without a fight. Bret mounts his comeback with a swinging neckbreaker and a snap suplex for two, and an inside cradle is worth two. Russian legsweep gets two, and a backbreaker sets up a 2^nd rope pointed elbowdrop for two. Rollup gets two, so Sherri gets involved again, but Hart dismisses her, and hits DiBiase with a pointed elbowdrop. Gutwrench suplex gets two, and a clothesline sends the challenger over the top to setup a plancha! Sherri attacks again, clawing at Hart, but time has expired at 19:06. This got really good during the last few minutes, but took a while to get off the ground. ** ½

Hulk Hogan v Ric Flair: From the same MSG card, December 29 1991. Flair and Mr. Perfect both attack as Hogan slides into the ring, but Hulk fights through the blitz, and cleans house! He goes after Flair on the floor, choking him with his t-shirt, and back in, Ric begs off. Hulk keeps coming with a cross corner whip and a bunch of punches, then chokes Flair with the wrist tape, and hits a cross corner clothesline. Flair bails, but Hogan is hot on his tail again, and he unloads with chops against the guardrail, then posts the Nature Boy. Ric tries some chops of his own, but Hogan no-sells, and pounds Flair all the way back into the ring for a big boot that sends him right back out! It's worth noting that Flair has botched two over the top bumps thus far in this match. Hulk with a side suplex on the floor before bringing Ric back in again for a ten-punch count, and man, this has been a total slaughter thus far. Hulk keeps pinballing him around, until Perfect finally earns his pay with a distraction, allowing Flair to clip the knee. That's enough to put Hogan down for Perfect to bash with a chair, and Ric keeps on it with a kneedrop to the leg. Figure Four, but Hulk repeatedly blocks, so Flair decides to go up - only to get slammed down off the top rope. Hulk gets some payback by bashing Flair's knee into the post a couple of times, and delivering a kneebreaker to setup his own figure four! Flair pokes the referee in the eye to allow Perfect to come in and break the hold, and as Hogan deals with him, Flair is able to palm a weapon! He blasts Hulk with it behind the referees back for two, but now he's got to deal with the HULK UP!! Big boot sends Ric to the outside again before he can finish, however, and Hulk follows for a shot into the post - Flair counted out at 10:09. Fun, but I hated how one sided it was. ** ¼