WCW Battlebowl 1993 (Version II)

Original Airdate: November 20, 1993

From Pensacola, Florida; Your Hosts are Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura

Opening Lethal Lottery Match: Vader and Cactus Jack v Charlie Norris and Kane: Yeah, not that Kane. This is Stevie Ray of Harlem Heat. Gene Okerlund actually reads off Kole (Booker T), but Kane comes out instead, with the announcers basically blowing it off. Yeah, because they all look alike to you, don't they? Vader attacks Jack before they even get to the ring, but Kane fails to get much in on him once the dust settles. Cactus dumps Kane to the outside, where Vader starts working him over with forearms, but Jack actually saves, since he wants to slug it out with Vader himself! Harley Race acts as the voice of reason, but the scuffle allows Kane to bodyslam Jack, and Norris gets the tag. He's useless, however, and Cactus is easily able to fight him off for the tag. Vader kills him with a short-clothesline, and a bodyslam sets up the Vaderbomb. He dumps Charlie to the outside for Jack to hit with a flying somersault senton off the apron, and back inside, Vader bodyblocks Norris down. Tag to Jack for a legdrop for two, and a side suplex is worth two, as Jesse notes that Vader should have tried for the pin after the Vaderbomb. Yeah, I was just thinking that during the Clash XXV review. It's weird how little impact that move had in WCW, compared to the WWF, where it was a finisher. Anyway, Jack gets overwhelmed in the corner, and Charlie vertical suplexes him, then knocks him out of the ring with a big boot. Kane hops down for a smash into the guardrail, then back in for Charlie to snapmare down into a chinlock. Vader's response is to simply come in, and punch him clean in the face to break it up. Well, whatever works. That allows Jack to hit a double-arm DDT, and Vader gets the tag. Norris tries a flurry of offense on him, but Vader completely shrugs it off, and powerbombs him at 7:35. He lost his footing on that one, and fell backwards into the ropes while executing it, which looked goofy. Norris looked terrible, but this was really energetic, and nicely carried by Jack and Vader. * ½ (Original rating: ¼*)

Lethal Lottery Match: Brian Knobbs and Johnny B. Badd v Paul Roma and Erik Watts: This has to be some sort of rib on smart fans here. Badd and Roma start, and they feel each other out. Over to Knobbs to whack Paul with a clothesline, but a criss cross ends in Roma hitting a bodyslam and a dropkick, as the announcers have a pretty funny conversation about what a creep Okerlund can be with the ladies. Ha! Tag to Watts, and a kneelift sends Brian to the outside, but Erik fails to follow-up, and Johnny gets the tag. He trades hammerlocks with Erik, and Watts hooks a schoolboy for two, so Badd hooks a somersault cradle for two. Not the smoothest of sequences there. Over to Roma for a flying axehandle, but Johnny bodyslams his way out of a wristlock, so Watts tags back in. He misses a cross corner charge, however, and Badd backdrops him before tagging. Knobbs hits a corner clothesline, but runs into a pair of armdrags, and Erik tries holding on with an armbar, but Brian rakes the eyes. Tag to Badd, but he's upset that Knobbs would resort to an eyerake, and refuses to capitalize on it - instead letting Watts recover before criss crossing with him. That proves to be a bad idea, as Erik dominates the exchange, and passes to Roma for a tandem backelbow for two. Powerslam, but Missy Hyatt distracts the referee to prevent a count, and Knobbs takes a cheap shot. That allows Johnny a headlock, but Paul reverses, so Brian takes another cheap shot. Missy rushing to defend him against the referee's accusations is pretty funny - she's doing a great job in this role. Heel Missy is so much more entertaining than face Missy. Knobbs with a vertical suplex on Roma for two, and he slaps on an abdominal stretch, as they cut the ring in half - Badd reluctantly participating. Knobbs hits boot while trying a 2^nd rope flying splash, but he still manages to cut off the tag, so Roma throws a leg-feed enzuigiri. That's finally enough, and Watts comes in hot - though the crowd doesn't really give a shit. Erik with a bodypress, but Knobbs rolls through for the pin at 12:57. A little longish, but not as bad as it could have been. ¾* (Original rating: ¼*)

Lethal Lottery Match: Lord Steven Regal and Ricky Steamboat v Paul Orndorff and Shockmaster: The running gag throughout the show with Okerlund wearing down Fifi with his charms as they draw the names is actually pretty funny. Gene was great at getting the silly shit over, certainly much more so than any announcer WCW had prior. Steamboat starts with Orndorff, and they feel each other out. Paul tries tossing him over the top during a criss cross, but Ricky skins the cat, and pulls Paul over the top with a headscissors. They brawl out there, but Orndorff in control, but an attempt at a flying axehandle on the way back in is blocked, and Ricky kneelifts him for two. Steamboat grounds him for a while, but a collision in the corner leads to tags on both ends. Hey, you think Regal called Shockmaster for wardrobe advice when he jumped to the WWF in 1998? Regal tries wrestling him, but Shockmaster uses his size to power out of everything, so Regal tries a bodypress, but gets slammed. Tag to Orndorff, as the match grinds to a halt, with both guys arguing with their partners instead of locking up. And when they finally do, it's Regal working a headlock, instead of anything exciting. Steven with a hiptoss for two, but Paul hooks a backslide for two, and both back off to shake hands, since they're fellow heels, and all. Regal grabs a full-nelson, but Orndorff reverses, so Regal sweeps the leg. This is going nowhere, and fast. Steven finally tags out to Steamboat, but he runs into a hotshot, and Paul adds a sidewalk slam. Bodyslam leads to a tag to Shockmaster, but he misses an elbowdrop, and suddenly Regal is refusing a tag! Ha! Shockmaster forces one, but misses an avalanche, and Regal gets two. He tries to put it away using Sir Williams, but Steamboat objects. He rips it away and hits Regal with it (though, it missed by a mile), and Shockmaster splashes Steven at 6:27. This was pretty rough. The majority of the guys in it are good workers, but this isn't their style of match, and it didn't work at all. DUD (Original rating: DUD)

Lethal Lottery Match: Dustin Rhodes and King Kong v Equalizer and Awesome Kong: The announcers basically ignore the match, as they discuss the bombshell of Ric Flair challenging Vader to a title versus career match for Starrcade, which took place during a pre-taped press conference they played just before this match. Good segment, too, though marred a bit by cheap production values. Like, supposedly there was a big crowd of people there representing venues all over the world to bid on hosting Starrcade, but it was pretty clear there were less than a dozen people there. Which made bits like Flair coming through the 'crowd' to challenge Vader far less impressive. I don't blame the announcers for ignoring this, because, well, it kinda sucks. Rhodes tries holding it together, but he's dealing with three terrible worker here - honestly all having no place working on pay per view to begin with. A weak slugfest between King and Equalizer ends in King missing an avalanche, and Equalizer puts him down with an ugly jumping shoulderblock, but then misses a legdrop. Tags all around, and Rhodes hammers Awesome with an elbowsmash for two. Sunset flip gets two when Equalizer saves, but here comes King, and Roseanne Barr the door! The Kongs end up working together, but Dustin stays focused, and bulldogs Awesome at 5:56. Really bad. -** (Original rating: DUD)

Lethal Lottery Match: Jerry Sags and Sting v Ron Simmons and Keith Cole: Sting's experimenting with a new face paint pattern here, and it looks weird. After some debate, Sags starts with Simmons, and Jerry immediately bails to the floor to stall. Once in, Ron hiptosses and dropkicks Jerry, then hits a jumping shoulderblock, before passing out to Keith. Cole does an amateurish job of working Jerry's arm, until Sags gets bored with it, and pounds him in the corner. This thing is just dying a slow death here. And it's not helped when Cole armdrags him down for another armbar, either. Tag to Ron for a tandem backelbow for two, so Sags rakes the eyes, and passes to Sting. Hey, at least this portion might be watchable. They do some clean breaks to establish that they're both babyfaces, but Ron takes him down with a drop-toehold, and passes to Cole. Yeah, so that went nowhere. Sting and Cole do some more basic babyface stuff, with Sting hooking a backslide for two, and tagging. Sags walks right into an armdrag into an armbar, but he fights Cole off on the ropes, and snapmares him down for a kneedrop. Tag to Sting, but he fails to cut the ring in half, and Ron tags. Sting hits him with a bodypress for one, and a clothesline follows, but he gets decked shortly after, and Ron ropechokes him. Powerslam hits, as Tony and Jesse have a funny conversation about Simmons' bright green attire hinting at a hidden Irish heritage. Ron snaps Sting's throat across the bottom rope with a catapult, then tags Cole in to do what he does best: armbars. That's, like, literally all he's done so far. Sting escapes with a backdrop and a bodyslam, followed by a clothesline, and a vertical suplex. Stinger Splash connects, and Sags tags in - coming off the top with a flying elbowdrop to finish at 13:14. Cole looked like a total loser here. Much longer than it needed to be. ¼* (Original rating: DUD)

Lethal Lottery Match: Ric Flair and Steve Austin v 2 Cold Scorpio and Maxx Payne: Austin starts with Payne, and gets knocked around by the bigger man, but Ric won't help him out. Maxx with a shoulderblock for two, and a two-handed chokeslam leaves Austin begging off in the corner. Tag to Scorpio, so Austin tries a vertical suplex, but gets blocked. Criss cross ends in Steve trying a hiptoss, but Scorpio reverses. Another criss cross goes Scorpio's way with a dropkick, but Steve dives for a tag before he gets covered. Flair slows things down by grounding Scorpio with a drop-toehold, but Scorpio refuses to stay horizontal, and a reversal sequence sends in Scorpio hooking a backslide for two. Shoulderblock is well executed (Flair timing his bump perfectly), and Payne tags in, looking pale, and washed out. Ric takes him down, and goes to the top, but Maxx slams him off - only to miss an elbowdrop. Over to Steve, but he runs into a backdrop, and bails before an incoming Scorpio can follow-up. That kills the momentum, and Steve is able to control 2 Cold on the way back in, ahead of a tag to the Nature Boy. Flair unloads in the corner, but a cross corner whip is reversed, and Scorpio follows in with a shoulderblock. Vertical suplex sets up a standing moonsault for two, and a rollup is worth two, so Ric blasts him with a chop to stop the effort. Flair with a backdrop, then back to Austin for a sidewalk slam, but Scorpio blocks, and hooks a sunset cradle for two. Superkick hits, but a trip to the top ends badly when Steve crotches him up there, and he brings Scorpio back down to earth with a vertical superplex for two. Austin taunting Flair as he covers is a hilarious character detail. Ric tags in to corner whip Scorpio, and a kneedrop follows for two. Side suplex is worth two, and he passes back to Austin for a backdrop, setting up a kneedrop for two. Austin and Flair would have been a hell of a team, and a hell of a feud, if things hadn't changed course once Hogan came on board in 1994. Steve tries an abdominal stretch, but Flair objects to him using the ropes (pot kettle black), and tags in to hit Scorpio with a hanging vertical suplex for two. Back to Steve for a slam/flying pointed elbowdrop combo for two, and Steve snapmares Scorpio down for a chinlock. Scorpio reverses a turnbuckle smash, and hits a spinheel kick to allow the tag to Payne, and Maxx no-sells some chops in the corner from Flair! Corner whip and a backdrop lead to a clothesline, but Maxx misses a cross corner high knee, and Flair capitalizes with the Figure Four at 14:31! Good action here. Sadly though, that's probably going to be the high point for this show. *** (Original rating: * ½)

Lethal Lottery Match: Rick Rude and Shanghai Pierce v Tex Slazenger and Marcus Alexander Bagwell: Gene hits a new high (and a new low) by telling Fifi he has to 'tie his shoe,' then bending down to try and look up her skirt before they draw these names. Wow. Also, who's the booking genius who decided that the only matches to have regular partners on opposite sides should feature the two teams no one gives a shit about anyway? Rude starts with Bagwell, and hits the youngster with a suplex-slam, but ends up downed in an armbar. Over to Tex, and he hammers Rick's arm himself, then works a wristlock. Tag to Pierce, but he refuses to mix it up with Tex, so a furious Rude tags himself back in. He chews his partner out, allowing Tex to attack from behind, and Bagwell comes in to work an armbar. Rude powers into the corner to tag, and luckily Pierce has no qualms about beating up on Bagwell. Marcus escapes a side suplex and hits a hiptoss, followed by a bodyslam to setup a splash for two. He grounds Pierce in an armbar, but gets countered to a headlock, so Bagwell counters back with a hammerlock. Tag to Rude, and he smacks Marcus down for a reverse chinlock. Over to Pierce, but he ends up in a chinlock from Bagwell, which eventually ends up being an armbar again. Popular go to hold tonight. Marcus with a floatover suplex for two, so Rude pulls down the top rope to send Bagwell crashing over the top, and he beats Marcus down out there. Inside, Rude and Pierce cut the ring in half on Bagwell in dull fashion, but an argument between Pierce and Tex allows Marcus to sneak through Pierce's legs for the tag! That leads to a slugfest between the regular partners, and Tex gets the better of it with a clothesline. He misses a blind tag to Rick, however, and Tex eats the Rude Awakening at 14:49. This was looking decent in the early going, but it overstayed its welcome, and got really dull by the time it was through. ½* (Original rating: -½*)

Lethal Lottery Match: Davey Boy Smith and Kole v Road Warrior Hawk and Rip Rogers: Oh God, this is going to be terrible. Hawk is so thrilled to work with Rogers that he levels him on his way to the ring! And then, to make it even more hilarious, both Smith and Kole stomp him as they pass his carcass in the aisle! Ha! Rip is still down out there as the match starts, with Smith and Hawk in together. They work a few false tie-ups to start, and take some time measuring each other. It goes nowhere, so Kole tags in, as Rogers is still crawling to the ring. Sure, it's derivative of Buddy Lee Parker at Starrcade '91, but at least its entertaining - which is a lot more than I can say for most of this show. Kole grounds Hawk in a headvice, but Hawk escapes, and delivers a flurry of chops. Bodyslam connects, but Kole pops back up (via the spinarooni!), and he pounds Hawk back down. This match is absolute dog shit thus far. Kole with a sidewalk slam for two, as Rip finally reaches the ring - only to get knocked back down by Kole as he does! Hawk has no one to tag out to, and Kole keeps working him over in dull fashion, but a 2^nd rope flying elbowdrop misses, and Hawk hits a fistdrop. He pulls Rip (still down on the ramp) in by force, and press-slams him onto Kole for the pin at 7:55. Just as awful as I expected it to be. So, on the plus side, at least it wasn't disappointing. This was basically just a singles match between Hawk and Kole, with Bulldog doing nothing, and Rogers down the whole time. The finish was cute, though. -¼* (Original rating: DUD)

Main Event: BattleBowl 16-Man Battle Royal: We've got all the Lethal Lottery winners - Vader, Cactus Jack, Brian Knobbs, Johnny B. Badd, Paul Orndorff, Shockmaster, Dustin Rhodes, King Kong, Jerry Sags, Sting, Ric Flair, Steve Austin, Rick Rude, Shanghai Pierce, Road Warrior Hawk, and Rip Rogers. Rogers is the first to go, no surprise. So many guys rocking the black/red color pattern tonight. Anyway, it's the usual boring battle royal action, with lots of punching and kicking going on, until things narrow down to Vader, Sting, Flair, and Austin. Perfect final four! Kudos to WCW for actually hitting a booking homerun, for once. Vader and Sting dance, as Austin goes with Flair, but then Vader decides he wants a piece of Ric, and goes to town in the corner. That allows Sting to vertical suplex Austin, as Vader misses an avalanche on Ric. That brings Harley Race into play, and he pulls Flair onto the ramp for a vertical suplex - only to get reversed! Vader follows out to elbowdrop Flair, as Sting and Steve knock each other out with clotheslines in the ring. Back on the ramp, Vader splashes Flair, so Sting abandons a Scorpion Deathlock on Austin to go give the Nature Boy a hand. Everyone brawls on the ramp now, and Vader squashes Flair again with an elbowdrop, and Ric is too hurt to continue - getting stretchered out, despite never going over the top. Teddy Long's outfit here is how I dream of dressing for work. Points to Austin as well, for coming out and taunting Ric as the EMTs scrape his carcass off the ramp. With Ric done, Vader and Austin throw Sting back into the ring with a tandem press-slam, then both come off the top - Austin hitting Sting's boot, and Vader getting slammed! Awesome! Sting fires up a comeback on both men, and avoids getting overwhelmed by making them chase after him. He wears them down that way, but ends up colliding with Vader, and Austin hits a 2^nd rope flying fistdrop. They pinball Sting around with some rights, and Vader adds a few splashes, but a third one misses. The comeback fails, however, and Vader hits a Vaderbomb to take the pep out of his step. Austin follows up with flying splash, but Sting rolls out of the way, so Vader starts hammering him again. An avalanche ends up hitting Austin, however, and Sting manages to eliminate Steve before getting ganged up on again. Vader clobbers him with a short-clothesline and a splash, however, but another clothesline misses, and Sting ends up headbutt dropping him downstairs! He tries to dead lift Vader over the top, but only ends up getting him onto the top turnbuckle instead. He tries to rock him over with the Stinger Splash, but Vader moves, and Sting sends himself over the top at 25:35. Standard battle royal action for the first portion, but once it settled into the final four, this was awesome. * ½ (Original rating: ½*)

BUExperience: Yeah, this is pretty terrible. It’s a flawed concept to begin with, and with such a weak roster, it really didn’t yield good results this time out. Only one good match the whole night (and, while ‘good,’ it’s hardly ‘great’), two negative star outings, and lots of dull middle ground. What’s worse, is how inconsequential this whole show was. Nothing was settled. Little was set up. Even the BattleBowl itself had no actual stakes. And, yeah, that was true of the Royal Rumble as well for the first four outings, but at least those cards had other things going on. And it was a better, more exciting concept to begin with. And even they eventually added a prize as well, since they realized the concept wouldn’t draw forever without it.

The only real positive here – and its a stretch – is that they got this concept out of the way, and left Starrcade alone so they could do a proper card, and the whole tenth anniversary deal.

DUD