WWF Coliseum Video Collection: Invasion of the Bodyslammers (1993)

WWF Coliseum Video Collection: Invasion of the Bodyslammers (1993)

Coliseum Video compilation. The front cover of the tape features Tatanka hiptossing a Beverly brother, and promises a segment with Kamala learning how to bowl. The back features several guys using restholds, and promises a Repo-Cam segment with (surprise) Repo Man! Would it have killed them to at least feature one guy using a bodyslam on the cover?

Lord Alfred Hayes hosts from a bowling alley, where Slick and Kamala are hanging out. Man, I know business was rough in the early 90s, but I didn't realize they were reduced to filming in literal bowling alleys. Even Frank Grimes has the dignity of living above the bowling alley... and below another

Yokozuna v Earthquake: This is a dark match from a TV taping in San Jose California on January 25 1993 (the night after the Royal Rumble). Lots of posturing to start, with Earthquake able to use his slight speed advantage to stick and move, but Yoko not going down for anything. Earthquake does manage to knock him into the corner, but Yoko throws an elbow to shake him off, and hits a legdrop. Yoko with an avalanche, and the Banzai Drop quickly finishes at 3:41. Earthquake was on his way out at this point, this taping being his last appearance in the promotion until returning a year later. DUD

The Nasty Boys v The Beverly Brothers: From Prime Time Wrestling on December 28 1992 (taped December 14) in Green Bay Wisconsin. The Nasties bounce them around to start, and Blake Beverly gets a trip to pitty city. The Brothers manage to double up on Brian Knobbs to turn the tide, but Blake misses a 2^nd rope flying splash, and Brian fights Beau Beverly off as well to allow the tag to Jerry Sags. Sags comes in hot, and Roseanne Barr the door! Bodyslams for both Beverly's, and a double facebuster sets up a legdrop on Blake, but Beau saves at two. Unfortunately, things get out of control, and the referee gets hit in the chaos, throwing the match out as a double disqualification at 6:45. I just thank God WCW didn't bother picking the Beverly's up along with all the other WWF castoffs in 1994/95, otherwise I'm pretty sure we would have gotten six months worth of twenty minute pay per view shitfests between these teams. ¾*

Back at the bowling alley/studio, Kamala stomps around the lanes in bare feet. I don't blame him, those shoes are nasty. Also, forget the shoes, what bowling alley have you ever heard of that allows guys to walk around without a shirt or pants, all while rhythmically slapping their belly?

Undertaker v Razor Ramon: A TV taping dark match in Dayton Ohio on November 24 1992, the night before Survivor Series. Razor suckers him into a chase, and unloads with rights on the way back in, but 'Taker no-sells, and hits the ropewalk forearm. Backdrop, but Razor blocks, and sends the Dead Man over the top with a clothesline, but Undertaker lands on his feet. He snaps Ramon's throat across the top rope, but gets dropped crotch-first across it while trying to follow-up, and Razor sends him into the post and steps. Back in, Ramon hits a sidewalk slam, followed by a series five elbowdrops - though the elbow never even comes close to making contact. Them were some ugly ass elbowdrops. Razor grabs the urn to bash 'Taker with to finish, but it only gets two, and Undertaker manages a chokeslam - Ramon bailing for the countout at 5:03. Very basic, but fine. *

Bam Bam Bigelow v Typhoon: From Wrestling Spotlight on January 30 1993 (taped January 5) in San Antonio Texas. They measure each other for a bit to start, establishing that both guys are big. Bam Bam tries a bodypress, but gets caught in a slam, and bails. He comes back in with a vengeance, but Typhoon dodges an avalanche, and hits a bodyslam. He starts unloading on Bigelow with rights, but Bam Bam hooks the tights to force Typhoon into the middle turnbuckle to stop that effort. Bigelow grabs a front-facelock, so Typhoon powers out, but fails to execute a vertical suplex. Bigelow responds with his own suplex for two, and he works a chinlock. Typhoon escapes, so Bigelow throws a headbutt drop for two, but a bodyslam gets toppled for two, and Typhoon starts to make a comeback! Avalanche hits, but a second one doesn't, and Bigelow puts him away with the flying headbutt at 7:28. Decent enough big man match. * ¼

Back at the bowling alley/space center Slick tries to teach Kamala how to throw a strike, but Ugandan Giant appears to be more interested in using those finger holes for something else entirely

And now, Repo-Cam! This is almost like an early version of a reality show, as Repo Man shows up at a trailer park to repo an RV, while getting filmed with a handheld camcorder. Someone probably should have told the lady holding the baby that she shouldn't be smiling from ear to ear while getting her shit repossessed. Repo then moves on to jacking Bill Alfonso's Cadillac outside of the Selland Arena in Fresno, but almost accidentally leaves his camera man behind. The resulting joyride reveals that apparently the 'trailer park' is in the parking lot of the arena. That's still more believable than Fonzie driving a new Cadillac, though. Next, Repo finds a little boy sitting all by himself on a playground and takes his bike, in a scene that feels like about seven different kinds of wrong. Next, Repo shows up at a janky looking video store (with metal bars on every window and door), and informs the clerk that he'll be repossessing the store since the owner hasn't made any payments 'in a week.' I don't think this Repo Man fella quite understands how the foreclosure process works. He offers to let her off the hook if she plays a tape of Repo's greatest hits in the store. Next, Repo shows up at some guys house at three in the morning, busts the window to his car, and steals it. This is starting to play out like a live action GTA. Also, how much you wanna  bet it was Howard Finkel's car? Seems like exactly the kind of thing they’d do to poor Howard. Finally, he shows up to some woman's house, and takes her station wagon, because she's 'a couple of days late' with her payments. Again, I don't think this Repo character quite understands the finer points of his business. I don't want to boo this guy because he repos peoples shit, I want to boo him because he doesn't take pride in his work! This was goofy as hell, but also fun as hell, and you could tell Barry Darsow was having a ball hamming it up

WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Bret Hart v Shawn Michaels: This is another TV taping dark match, from Syracuse New York on April 29 1992. I wonder if anyone ever thought to create, like, a Facebook group for all those kids Bret gave his glasses to over the years to share stories? I'm still waiting for one of them to show up on Pawn Stars one week. Feeling out process to start, with Hart dominating, but running into a knee during a criss cross. Shawn with a corner whip so Sherri can get her licks in, and Michaels adds a straddling ropechoke, followed by a high knee for two. That one got shelved from the repertoire pretty quickly. Shawn holds a chinlock, but Bret slugs free, so Michaels plants a superkick on him. Teardrop Suplex looks to finish, but Bret blocks, and dives at his challenger with a 2^nd rope flying clothesline. Inverted atomic drop and a clothesline get two, and a backbreaker sets up a 2^nd rope pointed elbowdrop for two. Sleeper, but Shawn dives into the ropes to escape, and both men go tumbling out. Slugfest out there is controlled by Michaels, and Sherri gets involved to help her Boy Toy send Hart crashing off of the apron into the guardrail - Bret getting counted out at 8:50. Morons! Why actively cause him to get counted out when the title is on the line? I don't think these two ever had a bad match together, but I also can't remember a single one of their meetings that I wouldn't ultimately classify as 'disappointing.' **

Back at the bowling alley/kitchen/bathroom, Slick is still trying to educate Kamala on the finer points of the game, but Kamala balks when Slick tries to get him to cheat on his ball with another ball

Kamala v Doink the Clown: A TV taping dark match from San Diego California on February 16 1993. Doink tricks Kamala with a gift wrapped box at the bell, and then pops him with a cheap shot when he falls for it. I get that the Kamala character was supposed to be simple and primitive, but this is the same dude who was manhandling the Undertaker only six months before, and now we're supposed to believe he doesn't know his asshole from his elbow? Doink works him over, but Kamala fights back with a superkick, and a chop sends the Clown over the top. Kamala chases him around out there, but gets suckered with the present again, and gets counted out at 3:19. And then the box turns out to be empty anyway. See, but if he were a cat, he'd still be happy. I guess the lesson here then is that Kamala is not a cat. DUD

Undertaker v Papa Shango: Another dark match from the same TV taping as the tag match earlier, December 14 1992, in Green Bay Wisconsin. Shango tries a chokehold right away, but Undertaker responds in kind, and wins that particular showdown. Undertaker with the ropewalk forearm, but he misses an elbowdrop, and Papa clotheslines him over the top. 'Taker snaps his throat across the top rope, so Shango sprays him in the eyes with some sparks via his voodoo stick, and whacks the Dead Man with a chair, then whips him into the steps. Back in, Papa hits a bodyslam, but 'Taker sits up. Again, same result. Third time, same result. Shango decides to try and trio of elbowdrops next, and now Undertaker isn't sitting up so quickly, so Shango sticks with the plan for another elbowdrop. He goes after Paul Bearer, but that inspires Undertaker to sit up again, and he hits a jumping clothesline. Chokeslam follows, and we're done at 6:29. Felt like the same match as the Ramon one earlier, with a slightly different finish. I feel like maybe Shango should take this loss in stride, consider growing a mohawk, and maybe making jewelry out of the urn, or something. I dunno. ¼*

Back at the bowling alley/love shack, Slick is still trying to get Kamala to put his sex toys away. This results in him finding additional sex toys

16-Man Battle Royal: From Monday Night RAW on February 15 1993 (taped February 1) in New York. We've got: Kamala, Tatanka, Tito Santana, Bob Backlund, Berzerker, Shawn Michaels, Razor Ramon, Terry Taylor, Koko B. Ware, Kim Chee, Iron Mike Sharpe, Typhoon, Owen Hart, Skinner, Damien Demento, and Giant Gonzalez - though Giant isn't here at the bell. Interesting format, as everyone starts on the floor, and they have to all slide in when the bell rings. Usual battle royal fare until we get down to Ramon, Tatanka, Michaels, and Santana. Shawn bounces around like a pinball for Tito and Tatanka ahead of getting tossed, but before they can get rid of Razor, Giant Gonzalez marches down the aisle. He tosses Tatanka and Santana quickly to be the last man standing, but forgets about Ramon (who slid out to the floor before Giant could grab him), and exits over the top - the resourceful Ramon getting the win at 15:00. Cute ending, and a perfect use of Gonzalez, because no one (NO ONE!) wants to see him actually work a match. ¼*

Tatanka v Repo Man: From Survivor Series Showdown on November 22 1992 (taped October 26) in Springfield Illinois. Repo initially controls, but gets caught in a flurry of offense, and bails. Tatanka works the arm as Repo comes back in, and a schoolboy gets two. 2^nd rope flying bodypress misses, however, and Repo takes over with an armbar of his own. Repo tries a 2^nd rope flying axehandle, but Tatanka slugs him out of the air, and starts making his comeback. Flying tomahawk chop gets two, and the End of the Trail finishes at 7:42. Repo should stick to low rent reality TV. How this dull shit made three separate compilation videos I'll never know. I get putting a dull match on multiple tapes if it at least had star power, but was Tatanka and Repo Man trading armbars seriously something that needed to be showcased multiple times? DUD

Back at the bowling alley/tuna sandwich, Kamala bends over and presents

Ric Flair v Mr. Perfect: A TV taping dark match from Beaumont Texas on January 4 1993. Hayes refers to Flair as the 'flamboyant one,' and Perfect as the 'flawless one.' Luckily, neither of those nicknames stuck. Feeling out process to start, but Perfect dominating, but walking into a cheap shot. That allows Flair to start unloading with chops, and Perfect oversells a turnbuckle smash with gusto! He manages to reverse a cross corner whip, however, and he backdrops Ric to set up a dropkick, then clotheslines the Nature Boy over the top. Or, the 'flamboyant one.' Whatever works for you. Flair stalls out there, then goes to the eyes as he heads back in, and Perfect oversells a corner whip with a full somersault. Ric with a kneedrop for two, and he unloads with some terribly pulled punches in the corner. Even on a small monitor, and with a wide angle, you could see those were a mile from connecting. More chops, but Perfect returns fire, so Ric goes up - only to get slammed down for two. Perfect misses an elbowdrop to allow Ric a kneebreaker, and it's Figure Four time! Ric uses the ropes for leverage, but Perfect manages a reversal, so Flair kicks at the knee. More chops, but Perfect turns the tables, and starts mounting a comeback. Ric takes a thunderous flip to the outside off a corner whip, but Perfect forces him back in ahead of the count, and the Perfect-Plex finishes at 10:50. Not nearly as good as the Loser Leaves Town match from RAW, but a welcome companion piece, with some great selling from Perfect (both the overselling and selling the leg). **

Hayes wraps up at the bowling alley/discothèque, where Slick gives up on his efforts to turn Kamala into a bowler - only for Kamala to surprise him by throwing a strike!


BUExperience: No hidden gems, but it was an entertaining tape, and an easy watch. A worthy addition to your Coliseum collection.