WWF UK Rampage 1993 (Version II)

Original Airdate: April 11, 1993

From Sheffield, England; Your Hosts are Jim Ross and Bobby Heenan

Opening Match: Brian Knobbs v Fatu: Though business Stateside was ice cold, crowds in the UK were still really into the WWF product, as evidenced by the monster pop fucking BRIAN KNOBBS gets for his entrance. Fatu tries a sneak attack, but Knobbs quickly fights him off with a clothesline and a backdrop, and Fatu bails. They feel each other out, with Knobbs dominating, but he gets tripped up by Afa and superkicked - as Heenan wonders how the English make pudding out of Yorkshire Terriers. It's too bad we never got to see Heenan and Lawler call a pay per view together, because I'm pretty sure we would have literally seen Ross or Monsoon have a nervous breakdown on the air. Fatu works the Nasty Boy over, but Brian escapes a reverse chinlock, and starts mounting a comeback. Bodyslam and a clothesline lead to a ten-punch count, but he runs into another superkick while attempting a charge, and Fatu scores a leveraged pin at 7:57. Dull stuff, but they were drawing heat way beyond their pay grade. ¼* (Original rating: DUD)

Doink the Clown v Kamala: The referee actually finds a weapon on Doink during the pat down, which is one of the few times I can remember that actually happening. The crowd roars for Kamala like he's the biggest star in the world as he shoves Doink around to start, but the Clown takes him down, and stomps. Doink works the arm, but Kamala manages to whip him into the corner, and hit an avalanche. Doink bails, and goes underneath the ring, confusing Kamala enough to allow him a sneak attack. Doink with a flying axehandle on the way back in, but another try ends badly, and Kamala knife-edge chops him. Splash, but he tries to cover while Doink is still on his belly, so that goes nowhere. I get that Kamala's character was supposed to be primitive, but we'd seen him on WWF TV on and off for, like, ten years. Are we really supposed to buy that he still hasn't figured it out? Apparently yes we are, because the finish is Kamala getting confused, and Doink schoolboys him at 4:36. Nothing match, but based on the reactions these guys were getting, I'm half surprised the WWF didn't move their operations across the pond. DUD (Original rating: DUD)

Mr. Perfect v Samu: Heenan goes on an epic rant about how Perfect owes him his whole career during the entrances, in classic Heenan fashion. Criss cross to start, ending in Samu missing a bodypress, but Perfect hitting one for two. Perfect then continues to put him through a cardio workout with a few armdrags and dropkicks, until Samu bails. Back in, Samu wants a test-of-strength, but Perfect is too smart for that, and forces him to criss cross again. Samu manages to clothesline him this time, and he tosses Perfect over the top for Afa to abuse, as the Headshrinker takes control on the contest. Samu misses a charge, allowing Perfect to go after the leg, but Samu rakes the eyes to quickly escape a spinning-toehold. He dumps Perfect to the outside again for Afa to pound, and a superkick is worth two on the way back in. Samu works him over, but engaging Perfect in a slugfest ends badly. Perfect looks to parlay that into a comeback, so Samu simply punches him in the dick, in a funny spot. That'll do it. Perfect, a noted aficionado of overselling, has a ball(s) selling it. Samu keeps hammering, so Perfect tries a small package, but only gets two. Samu responds with a bodyslam and a headbutt drop, but a flying headbutt misses, and the Perfect-Plex finishes at 12:47. Huge pop, too. Had its moments, but Samu on offense without someone to tag out to is not exactly state of the art stuff, and the middle portion dragged. * (Original rating: ¾*)

Bob Backlund v Damien Demento: It feels like they're trying to test the limits of the UK fans' loyalty with this lineup. Remember, this wasn't just some house show. This aired on pay per view over there! Damien Demento is kind of an underrated character though, I will say that. And speaking of underrated, Ross and Heenan were never really as good together as they were with different partners, but they're pretty entertaining here so far. Lots of posturing to start, until Bob hooks a backslide for two, and knocks Demento over the top with a forearm. Demento stalls on the outside, as this thing is dragging already. Demento drops Backlund with a series of bodyslams, and then works a chinlock, as the bored announcers run out of stuff to comment on, and literally stop talking for about a full minute, before starting to talk about the rest of the card. Bob escapes and hits a bodyslam of his own, then hooks a sunset flip for two, so Demento bails again. Damien goes to the eyes to take control on the way back inside, and a snapmare sets up a legdrop for two. He works a reverse chinlock next, as even this unnaturally hot crowd is losing patience with this shit. Backlund escapes, and tries another bodyslam, but gets toppled for two. A bridging rollup has better results though, finishing Demento at 7:56. Typical house show match here. And not a good house show match, either. –¼* (Original rating: DUD)

Typhoon v Brooklyn Brawler: This makes the last match look like a star studded affair. Even the announcers don't give Brawler much of a chance here. Brawler tries to stick and move, but gets bounced around. Typhoon uses a dropkick to knock Brawler to the outside, which earns him points for effort, though the execution was lacking. Brawler stalls, but gets hiptossed when he does climb in. Typhoon misses an elbowdrop to allow Brawler to take over, as some asshole keeps sounding off with a vuvuzela. Why are those so popular in the UK? Are the people there just so polite that they can't work up the nerve to ask those idiots to stop? That shit wouldn't fly in, like, Detroit, I'll tell ya. First you'd hear the sound of the vuvuzela, and then you'd hear the sounds of gunshots and sirens. Anyway, Brawler works Typhoon over, and it's just like you'd imagine a career jobber working over a JTTS guy for ten minutes would be like. So, awesome, basically. Typhoon escapes a chinlock, but misses an avalanche, and Brawler puts the boots to him. He stupidly tries a bodyslam, and even the announcers are calling him a dumbass now. Typhoon reverses that shit, and hits the avalanche on the second try, then powerslams Brawler at 8:42. Did anything about this... from the star power to the move set to the psychology... really warrant nearly ten minutes? –¼* (Original rating: DUD)

WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Shawn Michaels v Crush: And now we're going to play our favorite game, 'Can Shawn Michaels Carry an Entire Pay Per View?' Feeling out process to start, with Crush overpowering, and Michaels bumping around. Shawn goes to the eyes to try taking control of things, but runs into a backbreaker during a criss cross, and the champion bails. He suckers Crush into a chase and puts the boots to his challenger from the high ground, but Crush no-sells his stuff, and hits a press-slam! Clothesline sends Shawn over the top, and Shawn milks the count, so Crush drags him back in. A charge in the corner misses, however, and Shawn knocks him back to the outside with a high knee. Shawn quickly follows to send Crush into the guardrail, then the post for good measure - Michaels leaving him out there to take the count. Crush beats it, so Shawn welcomes him with a pair of flying axehandles off the middle, then one off the top. 2^nd rope flying elbowdrop follows, but Crush keeps coming, so Shawn tries a DDT for two. He tries grounding the challenger in a chinlock, but Crush powers up, so Shawn throws a superkick - Crush blocking. The challenger mounts a comeback effort, so Shawn bails to the outside, and gets himself intentionally counted out at 8:52. Not a show saving match, but decent. * ½ (Original rating: * ¼)

Main Event: Lex Luger v Jim Duggan: Yokozuna (who Heenan conducted an in-ring interview with after the last match) is hanging around at ringside for this. They might as well have announced the finish in the event program. This crowd is so hot that Duggan even gets them to go along with a loud and prolonged 'USA' chant. Jim dominates in the early going, with Luger stalling. Lex blocks a backdrop and starts throwing clotheslines, getting Duggan down to choke on the ropes. Chinlock, but Duggan escapes, only to run into a boot in the corner. Lex drops an elbow for two, and it's back to the chinlock. These poor people suffered through this horrible excuse for a pay per view, and your lazy ass can't even be bothered to give them a decent main event? We're, like, three minutes in, and you're already using multiple restholds? Haven't these people suffered enough tonight? Anyway, Duggan escapes, and starts making a comeback, but gets clobbered by Yokozuna on the outside, and Lex hits him with the running forearm smash to finish, but Mr. Perfect runs in to break the count, giving Luger the DQ win at 6:42. Typical Luger, can’t ever get the job done. And then he went and stole Duggan's gimmick, and took his place in the Yokozuna feud. ¼* (Original rating: DUD)

BUExperience: Bless their hearts, the UK fans were on fire all night, but what a slap in the face! Was the goal here to try and cool down the UK market as much as the US one? A terrible card, filled with a bunch of tag guys moonlighting as singles, or guys on their way out of the promotion, all working overlong matches underneath a quickie main event with a bullshit finish. If this were a normal pay per view, it would easily rank as the worst by either national promotion ever.

By the way, if you’re looking for this thing (which you shouldn’t, but if), the Network currently has it filed with all the other Coliseum Videos, instead of as a pay per view. 


DUD