Monday, February 19, 2018

WWF Monday Night RAW (January 15, 1996)

Original Airdate: January 15, 1996 (taped December 18, 1995)

From Newark, Delaware; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler

Owen Hart v Marty Jannetty: Feeling out process to start, dominated by Jannetty. Owens gets increasingly frustrated, but can't get an edge, and Marty overhead armdrags him, then hits a clothesline for two. Jannetty works a chinlock, but runs into an overhead belly-to-belly suplex, and Hart adds a backbreaker. Marty fires back with a 2nd rope flying bodypress for two, but eats a leg-feed enzuigiri for two, with the announcers again immediately putting over the move as the one that put Shawn Michaels on the shelf. They used to be so good at getting stuff like that over, in simple but effective ways. Sharpshooter, but Jannetty blocks, so Hart throws a standing dropkick instead. Gutwrench suplex gets two, and Owen uses a headvice and a legdrop. Backdrop, but Jannetty counters with a facebuster, as McMahon notes that the Royal Rumble is the 'Super Bowl of the WWF,' which is something I don't think legal would even let them dare say these days. Jannetty with a 2nd rope flying stunner, followed by a powerslam, and he clotheslines Owen over the top. Jannetty tries a suplex back in from the apron, leading to a reversal sequence, with Owen winning via a bridging cradle at 7:41. Decent enough, if a bit flat. **

Todd Pettengill is in Dok Hendrix's man cave to announce the debut of the Free For All ahead of the Royal Rumble. That was a neat concept at the time, and I wish the Network included them for the sake of completeness. The WWF was very obviously feeling WCW breathing down their necks, and they were trying all sorts of new stuff as a result, which was great

Dok Hendrix is backstage, where it was been confirmed that Razor Ramon is on his way to the arena to confront Goldust

Sunny auditions for a porno, under the guise of hyping RAW

Ringmaster v Matt Hardy: This is Steve Austin's WWF in-ring debut. And he's got no heat here. None. Zero. Hardy's jobber gear here is straight off of Wrestling Challenge in the 80s. And Ringmaster is apparently less than impressed either, as he destroys him, while the announcers talk about how much money Ted DiBiase has, and make fun of Ted Turner. Austin squashes him in dull fashion, and finishes with the Million Dollar Dream at 4:36. This was far too long and unimpressive for a debut squash, with Ringmaster sleepwalking through it. ¼*

Shawn Michaels vignette. This one answers the age old question of 'how much bullshit can be packed into ninety seconds?' Like last week, they're treating Michaels' comeback like an afterthought, which is weird considering it was the biggest plot point they had to exploit at the time. I also remember it being a lot more dramatic when I was a kid

Backstage, Dok Hendrix reports that Razor Ramon is still on his way to the arena. Unless we get Arnie Pie in the Sky, I don't believe shit

The Smoking Gunns v The Spiders: The Spiders are the future Headbangers, under masks. This is joined in progress, with the Spiders cutting the ring in half on Billy Gunn, but one of them gets caught with the rocker dropper, and Bart Gunn gets the hot tag. Sidewinder finishes up at 1:00 shown. I'm guessing they were either short on time, or the match was brutally bad, because I can't remember the last time they did a 'joined in progress' match on a taped RAW. I'm leaning towards the former, because I think they shot all the Razor Ramon stuff after the fact, and needed to cut some stuff to make room for it

Billionaire Ted's Wrasslin' War Room, baby! Say what you will, these skits have more spark and life in them than anything else on tonight's show so far. This week, Ted wants to buy the WWF, but when he can't, he decides to start calling Huckster 'Boy Toy' instead. Once again, funny stuff. A lot of it went over my head as a kid in 1996, but I appreciate it more now

Vince brings Goldust out for an in-ring interview, with Goldust wasting no time in making McMahon feel uncomfortable. But that isn't his main goal tonight. He's here to talk about Razor Ramon again, noting that he wants him more than 'any man or woman can ever want a human being.' Dustin Rhodes was brilliant in this role, hitting every note with perfect creepiness

Razor Ramon arrives at the building, and he's looking for Goldust in all the wrong places

Undertaker v Isaac Yankem: If they needed to cut something, they could have started with Undertaker's entrance. Lawler gives Yankem a pep talk before the bell, but Undertaker still destroys him anyway. Tombstone, but Yankem escapes to the outside, so 'Taker follows for a slow, boring brawl out there. Undertaker keeps dominating, so Lawler attacks Paul Bearer to try and steal the urn chain, but 'Taker chases him off. The distraction allows Yankem to recover though, and Undertaker gets rammed into the post. Inside, Isaac puts the boots to Undertaker, and works a half-crab. Guess they needed a breather from this blistering pace. Yankem moves on to a bearhug, as Dok pops up on split screen to hype up another interview with Goldust after the match. Yeah, everything about the way this is being presented makes me think that all the backstage Goldust/Ramon stuff was taped separately, and that's why they clipped the Smoking Gunns match. Yankem continues working him over in dull fashion, but fails to hit a tombstone, and Undertaker delivers his own at 9:28. This one could be marketed as a cure for insomnia. Terrible. –½*

Backstage, Dok talks to Goldust as promised, but Razor marches up and pops him in the jaw, then proceeds to kick the shit out of him all around the backstage area in pretty brutal fashion. They even spill outside for a brawl in the snow, until Goldust escapes in a Cadillac - though sadly not the gold Cadillac from WrestleMania

Meanwhile, Sunny's porno audition continues

BUExperience: Everything other than the Goldust/Ramon stuff and the Billionaire Ted skit were awful this week. No wonder this show got decimated in the ratings. I haven’t seen the opposing Nitro yet, but unless it was an hour of Mean Gene bending over in his underwear and cutting farts, I’m going to go ahead and guess it was better than this.

Monday Night Wars Rating Chart

1/15/96

Show
RAW
Nitro
Rating
2.4
3.5
Total Wins
8
8
Win Streak

1
Better Show (as of 1/8)
3
12



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