WWE The Great American Bash (July 2008)

Original Airdate: July 20, 2008

From Uniondale, New York; Your Hosts are Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler (RAW), Jim Ross and Mick Foley (Smackdown), Mike Adamle and Tazz (ECW)

Opening WWE Tag Team Title Fatal Four-Way Match: John Morrison and Miz v Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder v Jesse and Festus v Finlay and Hornswoggle: First fall wins it. Festus clears the ring at the bell, so the heels throw Hornswoggle to the wolves, but it backfires when the little guy dives after the champs with a tope. This is a rare modern era show with the entrance on the right side of the screen, and it's really jarring. The dust settles on Miz and Festus, and Festus dominates him in the corner before passing to Jesse for a monkeyflip and a modified legsweep for two. Finlay tags himself in, but gets nailed with a big boot from Festus before he can get his hands on Miz (the legal man), resulting in the champs working Finlay over. Miz hits a Russian legsweep for two, and a catapult sends Finlay right into a punch from Morrison, which in turn sets him up for a slingshot elbowdrop. That's a neat little combo. John grounds Finlay in a chinlock, but he starts to escape, so Morrison tries to cool him out with a neckbreaker, but ends up getting tackled before he can keep control. Ryder takes advantage of the situation by tagging himself in and trying to finish Finlay off himself, and he works a headvice. Lots of restholds for a match with eight people in it. Over to Hawkins, but their attempt to cut the ring in half ends badly, and Finlay hits Ryder with a rolling fireman's carry slam for two. He gets the tag to Hornswoggle, but the referee misses it, allowing Hawkins and Ryder to get a cheap shot in, and they ground Finlay in a chinlock. He finally gets the tag to Hornswoggle, but Jesse quickly tags himself in as the little guy runs the ropes, and he hits Hawkins with a Thesz-press and a swinging fisherman neckbreaker for two. Tag to Festus for a flapjack and a splash, so the champs run in to try and save things, but Festus dumps them. He and Jesse go for the kill, but Ryder trips Festus up, and Hawkins pins Jesse to win the title at 9:08. Pretty lame match. *

WWE United States Title Match: Matt Hardy v Shelton Benjamin: Shelton takes him right to the mat at the bell, and schools him with some quick cradles, but lets his guard down following a shoulderblock, and gets caught with a small package for two. Benjamin tries to slow it back down with a headlock, but Matt wants to criss cross, and that goes Hardy's way with an armdrag into an armbar. Benjamin dumps him over the top and hits a baseball slide, so Matt tries to use a slingshot on the way back in, but Benjamin sends him crashing into the post to put a stop to that. Back in, Benjamin hooks the leg for two, and a side suplex is worth two. A sloppy backbreaker leads to a cravat, then into a clutch, as Benjamin can't seem to figure out exactly what he's trying to do. He scraps the whole thing and starts over with another backbreaker, and apparently it was a mat-based abdominal stretch he was trying for. Matt powers out of it with a Samoan drop for two, so Shelton tries another side suplex, but Hardy topples him for two. Side Effect, but Shelton reverses, and hits a neckbreaker into a dragon sleeper. Matt escapes, so Benjamin throws a leg-feed spinkick, followed by a stinger splash in the corner. Again, but Matt lifts a boot to block this time, and the champ throws a few clotheslines to set up a bulldog for two. Bodyslam sets up a 2^nd rope flying legdrop for two, but a 2^nd rope flying seated senton gets caught in a buckle bomb! Benjamin tries a powerbomb from there, but Hardy counters to a sunset flip for two, reversed by Benjamin for two. Hardy hits the Side Effect for two, but Benjamin blocks the Twist of Fate, and takes him up for superplex, but Matt throws elbows to block. He dives with a flying moonsault, but overshoots it, and hits his head on the way down - allowing Benjamin to hit the Pay Dirt at 9:36. A few rough patches, but generally fine. ** ¼

ECW Title Match: Mark Henry v Tommy Dreamer: Henry powers him around to start, so Tommy starts throwing rights, but Mark clotheslines him down and puts the boots to his challenger. Henry with a headbutt and a headvice, but Dreamer starts to fight free, so the champ switches to a wrenching a wristlock. He tries a splash, but Dreamer manages to move, and he nails the champion with a seated dropkick. Dreamer with a neckbreaker for two, and the DDT looks to finish, but Tony Atlas distracts him to give Henry a chance to recover. Tommy goes up to the middle rope to dive, but Colin Delaney turns on him (in super, super obvious fashion - like, why else would he randomly climb onto the apron?) to allow Henry to retain at 5:31. Bad match, bad finish - what a combo! –¼*

Shawn Michaels v Chris Jericho: Shawn looks half asleep here. If it were the 90s, I'd assume he's just all pilled up, but since it's 2008, I guess that's just his 'serious face.' Slugfest to start, dominated by Jericho, but a criss cross goes Shawn's way with a big chop. Shawn goes to work in the corner, but he's favoring his ribs, which slows him down some. He manages to clip Jericho's knee to set up his version of the figure four, but Chris makes the ropes, so Shawn puts the boots to him instead. He keeps after the leg, but Chris reverses a whip into the corner, sending Shawn flipping onto the apron for a springboard dropkick out to the floor. Chris rolls him in and punts him in the ribs, then drops his ass with a side suplex - stopping to talk trash throughout. Bow-and-arrow, but Shawn slugs free, so Chris drills him with an enzuigiri for two. Bodyslam leads to a dive off the middle rope, but Michaels catches him in an inverted atomic drop, and manages a jumping forearm. He favors the ribs as he looks for a follow-up though, resulting in Jericho getting him in the Walls! Shawn manages to get the ropes, so Chris goes to town in the corner, but HBK stuns him with a clothesline to block a bulldog attempt. That was a nicely timed counter. Michaels heads up for the elbow, but the ribs are still slowing him down, and Chris is able to crotch him on the top turnbuckle. He follows him up for a superplex, but Shawn fights him the whole time, and manages to knock him off top set up the flying elbowdrop! Superkick, but Lance Cade runs out to distract him, and Jericho recovers as Michaels is busy fighting him off. Chris sneaks up with the Codebreaker, but Shawn holds the ropes to block, then somersault cradles Jericho for two. Oklahoma roll, but Jericho reverses for two, so they slug it out again - Shawn getting the better of it this time, and hiptossing Chris over the top onto Cade! Michaels dives after them with a flying moonsault press, but despite having two large targets, manages to land right in between them for a complete miss. They sell it anyway, though. He tries to force Chris back in, but Jericho throws an elbow at him on the way, which busts Shawn open over the eye. Nasty gash, too. Jericho capitalizes on Shawn's full crimson mask as they head in, mercilessly hammering the cut, and even letting Lance get in some abuse from the floor when the referee's back is turned. Shawn tries a crippler crossface to turn things about, but Jericho drops him into the middle rope to escape, and goes after the gash again. The referee intervenes, but Shawn begs him not to stop the match, so Jericho punishes him with a flurry of mounted punches to the cut. Still, Michaels pleads with the referee not to stop it, so Jericho kicks him right in the head, and keeps working the cut until he's covered in HBK's blood as well. This is a nasty bladejob. Shawn still won't quit, so Chris just hammers him and hammers him until the referee stops the damn match at 18:20. This didn't quite get to that next level, but it was a good match with two very distinct portions. ***

WWE Divas Title Match: Michelle McCool v Natalya: This is to crown the first champion. Natalya looks weird as a redhead wearing bland enhancement scrub gear. McCool takes her down in a waistlock, so Natalya reverses, but McCool turns it into a cradle for two. Dropkick gets two, and Michelle drills her with a few European uppercuts, but a wheelbarrow bulldog attempt ends badly when Nattie drops her across the top rope. Natalya works a surfboard, but McCool counters to a grapevine, so Nattie hides in the ropes. Natalya wraps her around the post for two, and she applies the Sharpshooter, but McCool makes the ropes. Natalya drags her away and tries again, but McCool counters to a grapevine, and we have a champion at 4:38. Truly epic. Afterwards, a still blood covered Chris Jericho interrupts the victory celebration to inform the crowd that they should save their ticket stubs because Shawn Michaels has been diagnosed with a detached retina and his career is over. Great heel work from Jericho here. ¼*

World Heavyweight Title Match: CM Punk v Batista: Feeling out process to start, and Batista goes for the front-powerslam early, but Punk slips free to try a rollup, but Batista isn't having any of that, and big boots the champion down for two. Punk tries a schoolboy, but again can't get Batista down, so he throws an enzuigiri to knock the challenger to the outside. Punk hits him with a baseball slide and tope out there, and he rolls the challenger in to cover for two. Half-nelson cradle gets two, but Batista reverses a cross corner whip, and then delivers one of his own for good measure. Batista with a vertical suplex for two, and he puts Punk in a camel clutch, but the champion won't quit. Batista responds by hammering on the lower back, but Punk manages to fight him of with a leg lariat, and a springboard flying bodypress gets the champion two. Punk charges with a follow-up, but Batista is ready with the front-powerslam, and it's Batista Bomb time, but Punk holds the top rope to block. He escapes to the apron and throws kicks at Batista from there, ending with a big roundhouse for two. GTS, but Batista blocks, and smashes the champ in the corner a few times to swing the momentum back into his favor. He tries a superplex, but Punk grabs the arm to block, and hits a springboard clothesline for two. He works a headlock and a series of kicks, but Batista fires back with a clothesline, and he unloads in the corner. They spill to the outside, where Punk tries a dive off of the apron, but Batista catches him in a spinebuster on the floor. Batista rolls him back in, but Kane attacks the challenger before he can follow, and Punk is disqualified at 11:04. This was a pretty good match the whole way through, but the ending killed all the good will they'd built up. And then afterwards, Kane beats them both up just to give this even more of a TV match finish feel. ** ½

New York City Parking Lot Brawl: John Cena v John Bradshaw Layfield: This is less a 'parking lot' than it is a large garage that has a bunch of cars set up in a circle to form a ring. JBL arrives first (with a crowbar in hand) and cautiously searches for Cena. He thinks he sees him inside of a car, so he stalks up onto the hood - only for Cena to appear in the driver's seat of another car, which he uses to ram the one Layfield is standing on. Cena unloads, and slams Layfield's head underneath the hood of a car, then attaches some jumper cables to Bradshaw's balls so he can roast those chestnuts on an open fire. That's not even seasonally appropriate! Layfield tries to take off in a car, but Cena throws a keg at the windshield, and drags him out for more abuse. He tries whipping Layfield into an open car door, but Bradshaw reverses to take control of the match, and he bashes John's face into the door. Layfield drags him onto the hood of a car for a swinging neckbreaker for two, which is weird. Like, just do a brawl. No need for wrestling moves. Layfield throws Cena through a windshield, then dents the roof of the car by DDT'ing John onto it for two. Shockingly, none of this has led to blood yet. Layfield throws Cena face-first through a side window, but still not even a drop of blood. He puts Cena down for a nap in the backseat of a car, then retrieves a can of gasoline from his limo, which he pours over the vehicle Cena is catching some shuteye in. He lights it up, but a bunch of crew guys quickly run in with fire extinguishers before it goes too far. A furious Cena comes out of the wreckage and attacks, sending Bradshaw crashing into the side of a car a bunch of times. He leaves Layfield down in the passengers seat, and then commandeers a forklift so he can shish kebob the side of the car. That feels like a huge violation of OSHA regulations, but then that seems like a minor thing to worry about compared to attacking jumper cables to someone's balls, or arson. Cena then uses the forklift to drive Bradshaw out into the arena, where JBL falls out of the car and starts crawling away from him. Cena shows no mercy, stalking Bradshaw onto the ramp for a brawl over to the entrance area, where he hits him with the Five Knuckle Shuffle. FU on the stage looks to finish, but Cena decides he wants to do it onto the hood of the car instead, but it backfires when Bradshaw chucks him off of the stage, and through the windshield. That allows Layfield to cover, and he pins Cena in the wreckage at 15:00. This was ALL gimmick, and didn't have the blood (both literally and in the Mozart in the Jungle 'she plays with the blood' type sense) that a good brawl should, but it was pretty entertaining for the most part. * ½

Main Event: WWE Title Match: Triple H v Edge: They spill to the outside right away, where HHH sends his challenger into the barricade, then snaps his throat across the top rope as they head back in. Hunter with a pair of kneedrops to the back of the head, and a cross corner whip leads to a forearm smash that sends Edge crashing to the outside. HHH is just savaging him here. He follows to the floor for a charge, but Edge drops him into the barricade to block, and hits a corner spear on the way back inside. Edge with a few corner whips, and he pulls HHH back to the outside for a whip into the steps, then a drop across an announce table. All of that gets two on the way back in, so the challenger works a bodyscissors, but HHH shifts his weight, and rains blows down to escape. Edge throws a dropkick to block the Game's follow-up, so HHH bails to the apron, but Edge's attempt to spear him off misses, and the challenger takes a bump to the floor. He beats the count in, where HHH is waiting with a flurry of fists, followed by a clothesline. Kneeling facebuster sends Edge bumping back to the outside, so HHH chases after him for a trip into the steps and the post. Edge manages the Impaler on the floor, and it's looking like we may have a double countout, but Edge manages to power the champion back inside to cover for two. Edge tries a flying dropkick off the middle, but HHH catches him in a catapult, and adds a DDT for two. Edge fires back with the Edge-o-Matic for two, but the spear misses, and HHH schoolboys him for two. Edge pops off a big boot to keep HHH from turning the tide, but another try at the spear again ends badly - this time with Hunter dropping him in a rotating spinebuster. Pedigree, but Edge railroads him into the corner to block, and vertical superplexes the champion - just as Alicia Fox (in her introductory angle as Edge's wedding planner) runs out and steals the title belt. She passes it to Edge, but Edge's wife (Vickie Guerrero) interferes because she wants to whack her own husband with the weapon. That leads to a catfight between the women, and Edge accidentally spears Vickie while trying to break it up, which allows HHH to hit the Pedigree at 16:47. This was a technically fine (if pretty boring) match, that turned into silly soap opera overbooking at the end. ¾*

BUExperience: Sorry, you are not a winner. Please try again.

DUD