WWE Roadblock (March 2016)

Original Airdate: March 12, 2016

From Toronto, Ontario, Canada; Your Hosts are Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, and John Bradshaw Layfield

Opening WWE Tag Team Title Match: The New Day v Sheamus and King Barrett: Kofi Kingston and Sheamus start, and they feel each other out, but Kofi would rather feel the rhythm and stops for a dance session. That gets him clotheslined by Sheamus, and Barrett tags in to stomp Kingston down in the corner. Kofi fights him off with a chincrusher to allow the tag to Big E, and he hits Barrett with a backbreaker on his way in, and the champs take turns stomping him down in the corner as Xavier Woods shoves a box of Booty-O's in his face. They were really hitting their entertainment apex during this period. Barrett manages to hit Kingston with a swinging scrapbuster to take control, and he unloads with mounted punches before passing to Sheamus for a scrap-backbreaker. The heels cut the ring in half on Kofi, until Sheamus dives off the top, but gets knocked out of the air with a dropkick to allow the tag to Big E. He comes in with several suplexes on Barrett, and a splash follows. Avalanche, but Barrett uses his boot to block, and hits a tornado fisherman suplex for two. Both guys tag, and Kofi flies in over Sheamus' head, then hits him with a springboard flying bodypress for two. Trouble in Paradise looks to finish, but Sheamus counters to the Texas cloverleaf, so Kofi turns it into a cradle for two, then hits the SOS. Tag back to Big E, but Sheamus avoids the Midnight Hour, and goes for the kill with Barrett, but Woods distracts the referee to prevent a count. That gets him chased around by Sheamus, but the distraction allows Big E to hit the Big Ending on Barrett at 9:23. Pretty basic, but fine. * ¼

Chris Jericho v Jack Swagger: The aisle is super long tonight. Like, is this the Ricoh Coliseum or Wembley Stadium? Jericho slaps him around to start, but that proves to be a mistake, and Chris ends up bailing following a flurry from Swagger. Swagger chases him back in for a backelbow, and it's into the corner for a ten-punch, but Chris manages a cheap shot while the referee is stepping in. Jericho pounds him down and knocks him to the outside with a baseball slide, as the commentators find about ten different ways to unintentionally make Jericho sound old as fuck. Chris whips him into the barricade, then takes him back in for a chinlock, but Jack escapes, so Jericho throws a dropkick for two. Chris works a double-chickenwing next, but Swagger manages to slug free, so Jericho tries a bulldog, but ends up getting dumped into the corner. That allows Swagger to start making a clothesline filled comeback, but the Swagger Bomb hits knees, and Chris hits that bulldog. Lionsault, but Jack dodges, and the Swagger Bomb gets two. Jericho tries a schoolboy into the Walls, but Swagger blocks, and goes to the Patriot Lock, but Chris blocks, and throws an enzuigiri. Codebreaker, but Swagger counters with a backdrop driver for two, so Chris tries a bodypress, but Swagger counters to the Patriot Lock! Chris makes the ropes, so Swagger charges at him, but ends up eating turnbuckle, and Jericho gets the Walls on at 7:55. Fun little back-and-forth match. ***

NXT Tag Team Title Match: The Revival v Enzo & Cass: Man, Enzo & Cass' run was really short, wasn't it? They're still in NXT at this point, and now, just two and a half years later, both got called up, flamed out, and are out of the promotion entirely. It's also worth noting that Carmella looked much, much hotter dancing around in the background with this group than as a solo act. Dash Wilder starts with Enzo Amore, and the champs waste no time getting in some cheap shots. Right down to business, I love it! Unfortunately for them, Enzo fights off Dash with a headscissors, and dropkicks Scott Dawson ahead of tagging out to Colin Cassady. Cassady with a sidewalk slam on Dash for two, and he works an overhead wristlock, so Dawson distracts the referee so Dash can go to the eyes to escape. Man, the Revival was so great, and now they're basically lost in the shuffle on the main roster. They try another double team, but Cassady clotheslines them both over the top to clean house, then throws Enzo out at them like a weapon! Dust settles on Dash and Amore, but Enzo quickly runs into yet ANOTHER great cheap shot set up from the champions, and they cut the ring in half with expert precision. Seriously, the way they've been wasted on the main roster is practically criminal. Dawson misses a charge while he has Enzo in a tree of woe to allow the hot tag to Cassady, and Roseanne Barr the door! Cassady with a round of big boots all around, and they go for the kill on Dash with the rocket launcher, but Dawson knocks Enzo off the top rope! That earns him a punch in the mouth from Carmella, and Enzo dives with a flying DDT on Dash, then schoolboys Dawson for two! Cassady is still down on the outside, however, and Amore gets overwhelmed in a double team, and pinned at 10:11. Not quite on par with their TakeOver: London match, but still good. ***

WWE Divas Title Match: Charlotte v Natalya: Feeling out process to start, dominated by Natalya, but the champ keeps avoiding the Sharpshooter. Natalya hits her with a baseball slide on the outside, but ends up getting yanked from the apron to the floor, and Charlotte takes her in for some mounted punches for two. Natalya's not an unattractive woman, but her choice of ring gear doesn't play to her strengths, and is not flattering. Charlotte knocks her around with some headscissor abuse on the mat, but Natalya manages a schoolgirl for two, so Charlotte clotheslines her down to keep control - earning a little dance from papa Ric at ringside. Charlotte with a neckbreaker for two, and she goes to work on the leg, but Natalya counters the Figure Eight with a small package for two. Charlotte fights her off in the corner and clips the leg to keep control of the match, and she bashes the leg into the post, but Natalya reverses the momentum to send Charlotte into the steel! That leads to a slugfest, and Natalya gets the better of it with a Russian legsweep, followed by a discus clothesline. Sharpshooter, but Charlotte claws at her cheek to block, and schoolgirls for two. Big boot sets up the Figure Eight, but Natalya reverses, so Charlotte slides off the apron to get a hanging version of it. She follows up with the Natural Selection for two, and an exploder suplex sets up a flying moonsault, but Natalya blocks by sitout powerbombing her off the ropes for two. Sharpshooter, but Charlotte counters with a small package. Back to the Figure Eight, but Natalya blocks, and this time gets the Sharpshooter on right at center ring! Good reaction from the crowd on that one! Ric Flair tries to help her to the ropes, so Natalya stupidly lets off to yell at him instead of milking the hold for all it's worth, and Charlotte schoolgirls her into a leveraged pin at 13:32. Didn't love that finish. **

Handicap Match: Brock Lesnar v Bray Wyatt and Luke Harper: Brock destroys Harper in the corner to start, and chucks him with a release German suplex to send poor Luke to the outside. Wyatt tries to help him out there, but Lesnar stalks after them like the Terminator, and tosses Harper back in. A distraction from Bray allows Luke a tope, and he manages to blitz Lesnar on the way back in to actually get control. Pair of superkicks and a discus clothesline get two, so Luke tries a crippler crossface next, but Brock powers out into a release German. Harper responds with a big boot and a superkick, but another discus clothesline is countered with another German suplex. Brock adds a few more (since that's what Brock do), as Wyatt bails up the aisle before he gets any. F5 finishes Harper at 4:01. I don't think Bray's quite grasped the finer points of handicap matches. ¾*

Sami Zayn v Stardust: Feeling out process to start, and Stardust manages to wrap him around the post to get control. He hammers Sami in the corner ahead of a gourdbuster for two, and Stardust goes to the mat with a waistlock, as the announcers get into the action by discussing WrestleMania. And not even the one that was coming up a few weeks after this, but the one from freaking 1990. Stardust with a reverse Boston crab, but Sami inches towards the ropes, so he releases, and drops him with a uranage for two. Sami fights back with a cradle for two, so Stardust nails him with a clothesline to prevent a comeback, then hits a vertical superplex for two. Stardust responds to the kick out by slapping Sami with his glove, but that ignites a fiery comeback, and Zayn unloads a ten-punch. Bodyslam sets up a dive off the top, but Stardust is up to avoid it, so Sami dumps him to the outside instead. He dives with a somersault suicida, and the Blue Thunder Bomb gets two on the way back in. Reversal sequence ends in Stardust hitting a springboard kick for two, but Zayn drops him into the corner with an exploder suplex, and the Helluva Kick finishes at 12:21. This was unconscionably long for the story being told. ¾*

Main Event: WWE World Heavyweight Title Match: Triple H v Dean Ambrose: Dean looks positively scrawny here. It's kind of funny watching HHH in this run opposite my reviews for 1996 WWF, where they're talking about how Jake Roberts is basically a walking miracle for even being able to lace his boots at age 41, and here HHH is world champion at half a decade older than Jake was then. Feeling out process to start, with both guys working smoothly together. Funny bit, as Ambrose tries to take control of the match by going after the biggest target on HHH's body: his nose. And it works! Dean dumps him to the outside for a clothesline, and he starts targeting the knee as they head back into the ring. HHH bails to get away from the abuse, so Ambrose follows for a catapult into the post, only to get dropped head-first into the steps by the champion! Hunter then drops him front-first across the barricade, but Dean beats the count in, so HHH snaps his throat under the bottom rope with a catapult for two, then delivers a release gourdbuster. HHH stretches him on the mat, but Ambrose won't quit, so Hunter drops a series of three elbows instead, then corner whips his challenger. Ambrose tries slugging his way to a comeback, but HHH is ready with a rotating spinebuster for two, and he takes him upstairs for a superplex - only for Ambrose to block with a headbutt, then dive with a flying elbowsmash! Both guys stagger up for a slugfest, and Dean actually gets the better of it in the corner, allowing him a bulldog for two. Into the corner, Ambrose uses a ten-punch count, but HHH escapes with an inverted atomic drop. Pedigree, but Ambrose counters with a somersault cradle for two, but Hunter blocks the Dirty Deeds. He uses a kneeling facebuster, but Dean rebounds with a clothesline for two. He looks for a follow-up, but HHH manages a lariat to buy time, but Ambrose backdrops him over the top to block the Pedigree. Tope, but HHH slugs him out of the air to block, and uses the time to prep the announce table. That allows Dean to recover, however, and HHH takes a trip into the steps before he can use the table. Dean rolls him in and heads up, but HHH knocks him off the top before he can dive. Pedigree, but Ambrose counters to a figure four, and HHH has to resort to slugging his way free. He tries a side suplex, but Dean back flips out of it, and takes the champ down in a sharpshooter! Hunter makes the ropes to save himself, but walks into the Dirty Deeds as he recovers, and it looks like a three count, but the referee spots Dean's foot under the ropes after counting, and immediately negates it. Stupid Ambrose wastes times arguing about it instead of just finishing the prone champion off, and HHH schoolboys him into a leveraged pin for two. Glad that wasn't the finish, because it would have really soured an otherwise very good match thus far. HHH takes a bump over the top off of a corner whip, allowing Dean to finally hit that tope, and he goes up for a flying elbowsmash on the outside! Bonus points for mocking the crotch chop on the landing! Ambrose puts him on the announce table to set up a flying elbowdrop off of the barricade, but he takes too long executing it, and ends up going through the table puzzle himself. HHH hauls himself into the ring, but Dean can't follow in time, and the Game retains by countout at... no wait, Ambrose makes it! Unfortunately for him, he walks right into the Pedigree at 24:43. This was actually quite a good piece of business, and totally pay per view quality. *** ½

BUExperience: This one is far from essential, but it works well enough on the strength of a few good matches, and feels really breezy at under two and a half hours long – especially compared to the endless marathons that WWE specials have become in 2018.

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