WWE Money in the Bank (May 2020)

 

Original Airdate: May 10, 2020

From Orlando, Florida; Your Hosts are Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, and Samoa Joe (RAW); Michael Cole and Corey Graves (Smackdown)

Opening WWE Smackdown Tag Team Title Fatal Four-Way Match: The New Day v Lucha House Party v The Forgotten Sons v Miz and John Morrison: First fall wins. Kofi Kingston and Gran Metalik start, and we get a reversal sequence right off the bat, ending in Kofi hitting a splash. Another sequence ends in Metalik armdragging him over, and at least this match has so many people on the apron that it kinda sorta feels like there are fans in the stands. They keep reversing each other and doing really basic stuff, until Wesley Blake forces a tag in, and the Sons double up on Metalik. Metalik manages a springboard backelbow to fight them both off, and Morrison tags himself in. He tries a corner whip on Metalik, but gets reversed, and Metalik throws a dropkick. He goes up for a dive, but John follows him to the top, so Metalik reverses the momentum for a Spanish fly out to the floor - landing on a bunch of guys for a dog pile. So weird watching that kinda spot with no crowd reaction. Back in, Metalik covers for two, but another trip to the top ends in him getting caught in a tree of woe, and Steve Cutler capitalizes. Cutler with a backelbow for two, and he hiptosses Blake onto Metalik for two. The Sons do a good job of cutting the ring off and working Metalik over, but Cutler ends up walking into a tornado DDT, and tags are made to Lince Dorado and Morrison. Lince dives around on John, but Kofi shows up, and somehow ends up being the guy in trouble. Miz and Morrison go for the kill on him, but Kofi fights them both off, and hits Miz with the Boom Drop. Kofi doing the clap before Trouble in Paradise is especially stupid in an empty building. Miz counters it to a figure four, but Kofi quickly fights him off, and New Day hit Cutler with a combo for two. Midnight Hour looks to finish, but Morrison cuts that off, and Roseanne Barr the door, we've got a kettle on. Everyone trades off, until Big E catches Metalik with the Big Ending at 12:01. These kind of matches aren't really my thing, and without a crowd to react to all the big dog pile sequence and stuff, they fall especially flat. It was fine. **

R-Truth v Bobby Lashley: This is scheduled as R-Truth taking on Montel Vontavious Porter, but then Lashley just kinda decides he wants the match instead, and so there you go. R-Truth tries to run, but Lashley corners him, and unloads. He chucks R-Truth across the ring before dropping him with a spinebuster, but R-Truth escapes a hanging vertical suplex. He tries mounting a comeback, but Lashley quickly cuts him off with a spear at 1:43. Uh, yeah. DUD

WWE Smackdown Women's Title Match: Bayley v Tamina: I like how Tamina just kinda walks to the ring like she's going to work. And I don't mean that sarcastically - I think it's really stupid when people are doing their exact same entrance routines in an empty building, like they're in a videogame. Like when you'd build a custom high school gym arena in a game, and then you'd book Randy Orton or John Cena, and they'd do these overblown entrances to no one. Actually, Shawn Michaels' was always the worst, with the bowing pyro, and the lame round of applause from the middle rope. Anyway, Tamina powers Bayley around to start, and how are people not falling asleep watching the weekly shows like this? It's just so... quiet. Even the commentary sounds so relaxing. You'd think their ratings would have seen an uptick just because everyone's passed out, and can't change the channel. Bayley manages to sweep her challenger off of her feet, and Tamina gets her leg bashed into the post a few times. Dropkick to the leg gets two, and an elbowdrop is worth two. Tamina fights back with an avalanche in the corner, but a superkick gets countered when Bayley catches the leg into a kneebar. Tamina's selling makes her look like she's trying to will herself out of bed in the morning more than fighting severe pain. Anyway, she makes the ropes. Bayley pounds her, and a kneesmash sets up a fireman's carry, but Tamina topples her. Bayley bails for a drink of water, and she throws a splash of it in Tamina's face AFTER DRINKING FROM THE BOTTLE! Tamina flips the fuck out (and rightly so), and beats Bayley around ringside, before wiping her out with a superkick on the floor. Unfortunately, you can't win the title on the outside, so no cover. So Tamina picks her up, but instead of rolling her inside to, you know, pin, she just chucks her into the announce table instead. Well, that's one strategy. Back in, Tamina goes for the flying splash, but Bayley blocks, so Tamina superkicks her instead. Samoan drop connects, so Sasha Banks teases a run-in, but Tamina scares her off. And then chases her like a moron, despite having Bayley beat. And that allows Bayley to sneak up with a crucifix at 10:29. Terrible finish to a really boring match. DUD

WWE Universal Title Match: Braun Strowman v Bray Wyatt: Bray tries to get all touchy feely at the bell, but Braun wants none of that. He knocks his challenger around, as the commentators remind me that Strowman used to be part of the Wyatt Family. Shit, I'd completely forgotten that whole period. Bray tries working a standing side-headlock, but the size difference makes that pretty much impossible to hold, and I'm not sure why he'd even try it. Strowman easily escapes, and sends Wyatt to the outside for some abuse on the floor. Back in, Strowman hits an avalanche, which sends Bray falling back out of the ring. That sets up Braun charging with a shoulderblock on the floor, but Wyatt sidesteps, and Strowman takes a bump into the announce table. Wyatt adds a DDT on the floor as the pig boy puppet shows up in the front row. Yes, really. It was one thing getting super goofy with the WrestleMania match, but it's off-putting in a regular match. Like, it's a puppet. We know it's a puppet. We've all seen A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, we know how puppets work. What's the point supposed to be? Wyatt with a senton splash and a tornado DDT, but Sister Abigail only gets two. Another one, but Braun counters with a chokeslam this time, and hits a pair of avalanches. He dumps Bray to the outside to charge into with his running shoulderblock into the barricade, and Braun puts on an old Wyatt Family mask to mess with Bray. And it totally works, sending Bray into fits of laughter. Wyatt thinks Braun has come home, but then Strowman discards the mask, and slams Wyatt to retain at 10:42. Stupid finish, boring match. ¾*

WWE Title Match: Drew McIntyre v Seth Rollins: They measure each other for a bit to start, with McIntyre dominating. Seth tries taking him into the corner for chops, but Drew reverses a cross corner whip, and throws a big chop of his own to put the challenger down. Another corner whip flips Seth over the buckles into another chop, and McIntyre uses a vertical suplex for two. Bodyslam, but Seth slips free, and throws a dropkick at the knee. Drew keeps powering forward, so Rollins dropkicks the knee again, and dumps the champion to the outside to turn the tide. Seth with a tope, and he takes Drew back inside to start working the leg. McIntyre fights off a leglock attempt, so Rollins uses a sling blade for two, and now he's able to slap on a half-crab. Drew starts inching towards the ropes, so Seth shifts to an STF to cut him off, then a crippler crossface. McIntyre makes the ropes anyway, so Seth shoves him to the outside for another tope, then dives with a high knee from the apron. Rollins springboards off of the barricade with another high knee, then off of the announce table with a third. No wonder Triple H loves this guy. Another tope, but this time McIntyre catches him in a suplex onto the announce table to block, and that buys the champion some recovery time. Back in, Drew uses a pair of overhead suplexes, followed by a big boot. McIntyre with a flying clothesline, and he's really working that non-existent crowd. He goes in for the kill, but Rollins bails to the apron, and he snaps Drew's throat across the top rope to shake him off. Seth tries a springboard, but McIntyre dodges, and uses a rotating spinebuster to set up a somersault cradle for two. Double-arm DDT, but Rollins blocks, and uses an enzuigiri to set up a superkick for two. Flying frogsplash gets two, so Seth grabs a chair, but the referee talks him out of it. Not sure what the whole point of that detour was, and it killed the whole momentum of the match. Curbstomp, but McIntyre dodges. He goes upstairs, but Rollins follows with a vertical superplex into a falcon arrow for two. Curbstomp, but McIntyre moves again, and the double-arm DDT gets him two. I appreciate how Drew is still selling the leg, even if Rollins has long forgotten about working it. You do you, Drew. McIntyre takes it upstairs for a superplex, but Seth blocks, and Drew ends up in a tree of woe. Rollins sets up a dive, but Drew sits up in the tree, and sends the challenger flying off the top! That looked awesome! Drew goes for the Claymore Kick, but Rollins is ready with a superkick to block, and the curbstomp finally hits for two. Another one, but McIntyre blocks this time, so Rollins throws a superkick - only for Drew to rebound back with a Claymore to retain at 19:22. Well, at least there were no puppets. **

Main Event: Money in the Bank Ladder Match: AJ Styles v Daniel Bryan v Rey Mysterio v Aleister Black v Otis v King Corbin v Asuka v Carmella v Lacey Evans v Dana Brooke v Nia Jax v Shayna Baszler: The idea here is that we get the two matches (men's and women's) simultaneously, both taped from WWE Headquarters in Stamford Connecticut. Both groups start downstairs (men in the gym, women in the lobby), and they have to fight up to the roof where there is a ring set up, and the two briefcases hang. Watching them do entrances in an office lobby is really fucking weird. So Asuka kicks off the women's side by diving off a balcony onto the rest of the girls in a dog pile sequence, and she sneaks onto an elevator to head upstairs. The other women go for the stairs to chase, as we cut to the men's side, where Rey is trying to use various weight machines to springboard off of, but gets dropped by Black. Meanwhile, Corbin grabs a large weight and chucks it at Bryan, but Daniel ducks, and the weight shatters a mirror. I've always hoped to see more shots of that gym, since way back when I saw pictures of Bret Hart working out in it in a WWF Magazine from the mid-90s. So, at least this match gives us that. Otis ends up pinning AJ underneath some weights, and everyone else takes off running for the roof, with Rey encountering Brother Love in the men's room on the way. Well, at least he washes his hands. That's true love, brother. The men end up brawling in a hallway over rights to an elevator, as the women fight it out in a stairwell as they chase Asuka - whose elevator still hasn't arrived. That must be the world's slowest elevator, maybe Otis could take a look at it for them. And speaking of Otis, Bryan kills him with Yes Kicks in a hallway, as Doink the Clown hides from the chaos behind a chair. Would it have killed them to at least put him in the full costume? Shayna, Dana, and Nia end up in a conference room, where Brooke gains control with a chair, and she grabs a random decorative Money in the Bank briefcase, but Stephanie McMahon shows up (with her bit clearly taped elsewhere, nowhere near the match) to tell her that it's the wrong case. Carmella then smashes a painting over her head to add injury to insult, as AJ wants around looking for Rey. Why? Like, why waste time searching every room for Mysterio? Get to the roof! He ends up in an Undertaker themed room, and starts having flashbacks to their WrestleMania match, allowing Black to lock him in the roof and leave. Meanwhile, Paul Heyman as getting ready to have a true feast over in catering, when the men and women all show up to ruin it - resulting in a food fight. Nia kills some bitches as Otis has a snack, the poor guy losing focus of the match when he finds a pie station. Well, that's happened to the best of us. John Laurinaitis shows up to get his mind back on track, and man, whoever decided this match needed a musical score... and then picked THAT one, should be fired, or maybe shot. I never thought I'd miss these commentators. The girls are still chasing Asuka (who still somehow hasn't reached the roof, fifteen minutes in), as AJ and Daniel brawl into Vince McMahon's office (complete with casting couch), but get chased out by the boss. Wait, wasn't AJ locked in that Undertaker room? Vince then rubbing Purell on his hands after they leave is pretty funny, though. Asuka finally makes it up to the roof and into the ring, but the other women are on her tail before she can go for the case. Nia ends up dominating, and she tries to climb, but gets cut off. Lacey climbs, but Asuka pulls her off, and give them this, it's a really cool setting for a match, if nothing else - especially with the cars going by on the highway in the background. I'm honestly surprised they've never run anything up there before, other than taping that opening for RAW back in the 90s. Anyway, Asuka makes it up a ladder and grabs the women's case at 21:49. Well, she wanted it more. So now Otis shows up alone, but he's too fat to climb, breaking the rungs of the ladder as he tries. Okay then. Corbin hits him with the ladder right in that fat gut, but misses a charge, and Otis hits the Caterpillar. Why even bother with the theatrics when there are no fans? Just drop the elbow! No matter, because Black shows up to kick him in the head, and Mysterio springboards off the top with a dive. That leaves Black and Mysterio climbing opposite sides of the ladder for the case, but Styles arrives to tip them over. Corbin chucks both Mysterio and Black off of the roof (onto a lower section of the roof, though they don't make that clear, so you just have to assume they're both now dead), and AJ hits Otis with the Phenomenal Forearm. AJ climbs, but Corbin is following up the other side, and they fight over the unhooked case. They struggle, until Elias shows up to hit Corbin with a guitar. That gives AJ the case, but he fumbles it, and Otis catches it at 27:00. Uh, pretty clearly a win for AJ there. I don't think there's ever been a rule that you have to hold the briefcase for any period of time, just get it off the hook. I didn't like this. I enjoyed both of the cinematic mode matches from WrestleMania, but this one just felt silly and childish. Elements of it were fun, but it just didn't work as a main event wrestling match. *

BUExperience: Worth it?

DUD