WWF at Madison Square Garden (March 16, 1997)

Original Airdate: March 16, 1997

From New York, New York; Your Hosts are Jim Ross and Jim Cornette

Opening Match: Sultan v Flash Funk: Sultan attacks before the bell to put a stop to Funk's dancing, and he works Funk over for a while in dull fashion. Flash uses his speed to get the better of a criss cross, and a pair of superkicks put Sultan on the outside. Back in, Sultan calls for a test-of-strength, but Flash tries getting funky, so Sultan just slugs him down instead. Sultan works a double knucklelock on the mat, but Flash runs the ropes to escape, and throws a pair of dropkicks. Sultan fights him off again with a superkick, however, and a pair of headbutt drops follow. Sultan with a gutwrench stomachbreaker for two (called a 'reverse backbreaker' by JR), and he grabs a sleeper, but Funk slugs free. He corner whips Sultan to set up a side suplex, and a flying twisting splash gets him two. A somersault legdrop off the middle looks to put it away, but Iron Sheik is distracting the referee, so no count. Flash tries staying on the man with another dive, but now Bob Backlund is distracting him, so Flash dives onto him instead. That allows Sultan to recover, and he hits Flash with a powerbomb on the way back in, then puts him away with the Camel Clutch at 7:43. This was pretty dull, but inoffensive. ½*

The Godwinns v The New Blackjacks: The Blackjacks charge in to kick start things with a slugfest, but the Godwinns hold their own, and things settle on Henry Godwinn and Blackjack Windham. Henry works the arm before passing to Phineas Godwinn, but he fails to cut the ring in half while working the arm, and Blackjack Bradshaw tags in. Phineas manages to reverses a cross corner whip, and he backdrops Bradshaw on the rebound. Tag to Henry for a combo for two, and a backelbow gets him another two. Irish whip, but Bradshaw reverses, and delivers a big boot to buy time to tag. Windham tries a vertical suplex, but Henry reverses for two, and Phineas tags back in. He quickly runs into trouble, however, and the Blackjacks go to work. Phineas manages a side suplex to escape a sleeper from Bradshaw, and that's enough for the hot tag to Henry - Roseanne Barr the door! The Blackjacks try a double team, but Henry catches Bradshaw with a powerslam for two to block a dive off the top, and he adds a belly-to-belly suplex for two. Slop Drop hits, but Windham bashes him to prevent a cover, and he makes one of his own to pin Henry at 8:12. Solid enough. * ½

Dok Hendrix brings Bret Hart out to discuss his cage match for the WWF Title against Sycho Sid. Which is scheduled for tomorrow night on RAW, but also scheduled as a dark match on this show, so they're really careful not to date the promo. 'Impending' title match, and such. Anyway, if Bret wins, then the match against Steve Austin for WrestleMania 13 will be for the title, which probably make that show a little better remembered if it was. Anyway, not a particularly important promo here, but it hit all the big talking points

Crush v Aldo Montoya: Aldo tries a sneak attack with a sleeper at the bell, and I'm actually really enjoying Cornette on commentary tonight. His voice is annoying, but he does a great job of calling things. Crush escapes the hold, so Aldo tries a DDT, and a flying bodypress gets him two. Aldo with a pair of clotheslines, but a third gets countered with a pop-up flapjack, and Crush adds a tilt-a-whirl before finishing with the Heart Punch at 1:47. Just a squash. Afterwards, the Nation beat Aldo down, but Ahmed Johnson runs out to chase them off with a 2x4. Funny moment, as the curtain doesn't close behind them, so the TV audience can clearly see Ahmed just stop running after them the second he gets behind the curtain. DUD

Ahmed Johnson v Savio Vega: Savio cuts a promo before the match, trying to convince Ahmed that he never got his promised WWF Title back in 1996 because he's 'colored,' and he should join the Nation. Of course, he's kind of leaving out that he never got his shot because he got hurt... and at the hands of Faarooq, no less. It's actually not a bad promo, and probably should have been on TV at some point instead of wasted on a house show. So Ahmed pretends to think it over, and then kicks the shit out of Savio to start the match. Johnson with a backdrop and a corner whip, but he misses the charge in, and Vega pounds him. Vega with a cross corner whip to set up a spinheel kick in, and he grounds Johnson in a reverse chinlock. Backdrop, but Johnson counters with a sunset flip, so Savio punches him in the face to block. Savio keeps working on him, but Johnson powers into a uranage, and he adds an axekick. Savio throws a knee to the gut to cut off the comeback, however, and he grabs a sleeper. Johnson fades, but manages to escape before the third arm drop, and he makes a comeback. Another axekick misses, however, allowing Vega a superkick, and Ahmed ends up on the outside. Cue Crush, but Johnson fights him off with the 2x4, and he comes back in to hit Savio with a spinebuster. Pearl River Plunge hits, but here comes the rest of the Nation for the DQ at 8:44. Well, you knew that finish was coming. The Nation unload on Johnson after the bell, as the crowd chants for the Legion of Doom, but no cavalry comes. ½*

WWF Tag Team Title Match: Davey Boy Smith and Owen Hart v Doug Furnas and Philip LaFon: Hart and Furnas start, and a criss cross ends in Doug hitting a hiptoss, and then armdragging Owen into an armbar. Cornette continues to be fantastic on commentary as LaFon tags in to work a wristlock, but Owen forces a criss cross, and uses a drop-toehold to take LaFon down. LaFon counters to a hammerlock, however, as Ross hypes the Slammys by noting how excited LaFon is for it. Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen Phil LaFon as anything even resembling 'excited,' but I'll take your word for it, Jim. Tag to Davey, and LaFon holds off his power offense with armdrags until Bulldog gets frustrated, and bails. Smith manages to get LaFon into the heel corner for Owen to double up on, but the champs end up colliding, and they tease issues. That allows LaFon to bash their heads together, and he hits Hart with a spinheel kick. Tag to Furnas to unload in the corner, and the challengers go to work, but Owen fights LaFon off to allow the tag back to Bulldog. LaFon tries charging him, but Smith moves, and Phil takes a bump to the outside, where Owen is waiting to attack. The champs go to work on LaFon, until Phil manages to catch Owen with a DDT, and there's the tag to Doug. Furnas comes in hot (fitting), and it's suplex city for the Bulldog. Rana looks to finish, but Owen breaks up the cover, and Roseanne Barr the door. Doug tries to suplex Bulldog, but Owen sweeps the leg to allow Smith to topple him, and Hart holds the ankle down until the three count at 13:20. They definitely had it in the lower gears here, but still better than anything else we've seen so far tonight. **

WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Rocky Maivia v Hunter Hearst Helmsley: Before the bout, HHH officially introduces us to Chyna, who is now his valet. I think is the first time she's ever been referred to by name. Feeling out process to start, as Cornette does a great job of putting over the different styles here. HHH catches him with a hotshot during a criss cross to take control, and a cross corner whip rebounds Rocky into a swinging neckbreaker. Rocky tries flashing off a small package, but it only gets two, and Hunter punishes him in the corner. HHH with a high knee for two, and he works an abdominal stretch, of course using Chyna for leverage. The referee busts them, allowing Rocky to hiptoss out of the hold, but a splash attempt hits the knees. HHH with a vertical suplex to set up a kneedrop for two, and a backbreaker follows. HHH tries a leveraged pin for two, and the crowd is just dead as HHH works him over here. He dumps Rocky to the outside for Chyna to abuse, but she actually doesn't take the bait, and the champ uses a slingshot sunset flip on the way back in, but Hunter reverses the cradle for two. HHH with a backelbow, and he goes to the top for a dive, but Rocky pops up, and armdrags him off. That allows the champion to start making a comeback, and he uses a side suplex for two. Bridging fisherman's suplex gets two, and a belly-to-belly suplex is worth two. Floatover DDT sets up a flying bodypress, but Chyna pulls him off at two. That allows HHH to hit the Pedigree, but Goldust runs in to attack - causing a DQ, but saving Rocky's title at 13:37. Well, you knew there was no way we were getting a clean finish here. Afterwards, Goldust beats the crap out of HHH, so Chyna runs in to get in his face, but Marlena dives on her with a choke until officials can intervene. Too bad they didn't do a mixed tag for WrestleMania, because all of the heat here was for the women, and it would have been a much hotter match. * ¼

Goldust v Faarooq: Sunny acts as the guest ring announcer for this one. Faarooq grabs the microphone after the bell, saying he won't wrestle a "damn fag." Wow. Also kind of gets the crowd on the wrong side of things, since it sounds like the majority of them agree with Faarooq. Goldust goes after him anyway, and he drags him in to armbar. Yeah, that'll show him. Faarooq escapes the bevy of armbars and works Goldust over in equally dull fashion, as Ross notes that Faarooq was 'formerly known as Ron Simmons.' I'm surprised they'd even acknowledge that. Goldust tries to fight back, but Crush trips him up, and Faarooq capitalizes with a nasty piledriver for the pin at 8:23 - Crush pushing his foot off the ropes before the referee sees it. This was really boring. DUD

Hendrix brings WWF Champion Sycho Sid out to do his end of the hype job for the cage match, as well as WrestleMania. I'm most surprised Sid didn't accidentally mix up/reveal the dates that Dok and Bret were so careful to avoid earlier

Main Event: Casket Match: Undertaker v Vader: Undertaker slugs him into the corner to start, but Vader reverses a cross corner whip, and follows in with an avalanche. Undertaker fights him off with a clothesline, and he comes off the top with a ropewalk forearm, then big boots him over the top. Undertaker follows to beat on him with a chair out there, but he misses an elbowdrop after they head back in, and Vader clotheslines him over the top. Back in, Vader delivers another clothesline, but Undertaker ducks a third, and sets up the chokeslam, so Vader kicks him downstairs. Vader with an elbowdrop to the groin, but a dive off the middle gets caught with a powerslam, and 'Taker delivers the chokeslam. Tombstone looks to finish, but Mankind pops out of the casket with the Mandible Claw when Undertaker goes to roll Vader in. I knew there was a reason they weren't making any casket attempts. And, wow, it actually works, and Vader gets the win at 7:16. I dunno. I know there are those who will disagree, but Undertaker and Vader never had any chemistry. ½*

BUExperience: With a week to go until WrestleMania nobody was looking to risk their spot on the big show by getting hurt here, and so it was strictly low gear stuff all night. I really enjoyed Jim Cornette’s commentary, though.

DUD