Original
Airdate: February 24, 1997
The Godwinns v The New Blackjacks: The Blackjacks attack for a brawl right away, but the Godwinns dominate, and manage to clean house. Dust settles on Phineas Godwinn and Blackjack Windham, and wow, Windham got old. Or maybe it's just the moustache that makes him look this way, but regardless. They spill over the top, and Blackjack Bradshaw tags in to slug it out with Phineas. Bradshaw hits a clothesline, but misses an elbowdrop, and Henry Godwinn tags in for a tandem clothesline for two. Henry with a backdrop and a clothesline, so Windham takes a cheap shot from the apron, and Bradshaw clotheslines him over the top. Windham abuses him out there before rolling him in to cover for two, as we spot Ken Shamrock out in the crowd, who Lawler claims he's friends with. The Blackjacks work Henry over a bit, but he fights Bradshaw off with a side suplex, and gets the tag off to Phineas - Roseanne Barr the door. Phineas gets Windham in a sleeper, but Bradshaw breaks it up with the Clothesline from Hell, and Windham covers at 5:06 - the referee not noticing Phineas' foot on the ropes. This wasn't a good match, but they worked a more brawl heavy style to appease this crowd, which is a smart thing. Afterwards, the referee gets slopped for being a moron. ½*
ECW Tag Team Champions The Eliminators hit the ring with Paul Heyman, taking out one of the ring crew with the Total Elimination on their way in. This was really crazy to twelve year old me at the time, as someone who was just starting to discover ECW, and couldn't believe other people knew about this little dirty secret promotion. Even stuff like the tag belts looking like knockoffs of the WWF Intercontinental title belt was so jarring and rebellious at the time. Of course, Paul and the ECW crew are over huge with this crowd, and Heyman acts as ring announcers to introduce the next match
Stevie Richards v Little Guido: Watching the bWo do their thing on WWF TV... in 1997... in front of Vince McMahon... is still kind of surreal. Heyman sits in on commentary for this one, which should be fun. I never really got why they had the ECW guys fight EACH OTHER on this show, though. Like, shouldn't they be invading to go after the WWF guys? Guido tries a sneak attack, but Stevie quickly fights him off with a sidewalk slam, while Lawler makes the awkward argument against the bWo being 'another ECW rip-off.' That feels so awkward, almost like an ad for the nWo and WCW. ECW World Champion Raven shows up in the aisle, distracting Stevie, and allowing Guido to dropkick him to the outside. Raven confronts him out there, allowing Guido another sneak attack, as we get a split screen to Goldust cutting a promo against Savio Vega. I guess maybe they were worried people would tune out without seeing any of those massive WWF stars. Guido with a sitout powerbomb for two, and he works a chinlock. Stevie escapes, so Guido uses a facebuster, but Stevie fights him off with a rocker dropper, and adds a powerbomb. Stevie Kick finishes at 3:40. Not a good match, but still feels kind of surreal, even now. ¼*
Arm Wrestling Match: Sunny v Marlena: Honky Tonk Man hosts this, which feels like such a drastic change in direction from the ECW stuff that I'm lucky I didn't get whiplash. Though the segment, with the hot women in skimpy outfits, is right at home tonight. Sunny decides to steal Rick Rude's act since she's wearing a robe tonight. Hey, fair. I cut Rick Rude promos almost anytime I'm wearing a robe, regardless of the situation. Marlena, meanwhile, is still selling the attacks from Chyna, so Sunny offers to accept a forfeit. Marlena responds by calling her a whore. Well, that escalated quickly. They get down to wrestling, with Marlena dominating, so Sunny throws powder in her eyes to avoid the loss. That draws Savio Vega out, for some reason. To apparently rape Marlena, it turns out is the reason. That draws Goldust out, and it's match time!
Goldust v Savio Vega: Goldust kicks the shit out of him for putting hands on Marlena, but Savio manages to go to the eyes to shake him off, and he puts the boots to Goldust. Miguel Perez Jr sits in on guest commentary for this one, and just seeing him makes me shudder, knowing what trauma we're in for with the Gang Warz shit. Also, that back hair. Thankfully he's wearing a shirt here. Savio with a sidewalk slam for two, and he works a nervehold. Why is Sunny still out there? I mean, I'm not complaining, but is she managing Vega now? Because, actually, she'd fit right in with the Nation. In the broken white trash wing with PG-13 and Crush. And speaking of Crush, he hits Goldust with a piledriver on the floor, as Goldust continues to absorb punishment. Savio with another nervehold, but Goldust forces a criss cross, and uses a bodypress for two. Vega fights him off with a spinkick for two, and it's back to the nervehold. I guess all the heel mannerisms take it out of you. Savio takes it into the corner for abuse, but Goldust fights him off with a DDT, and this piece of shit match needs to end. Savio cuts him off AGAIN, this time with a bodyslam, but a splash hits the knees. He really went for it with that one, nice. Goldust finally starts making a comeback, but gets crotched on the top turnbuckle while going for a dive, and Savio follows up for a superplex. Goldust fights him off with headbutts and a liplock, and he comes down to put the boots to Savio. Cue interference from Crush, and Savio throws a spinheel kick. Which blinds Goldust, somehow. And then Crush just runs in to attack him for the DQ at 9:04. This felt endless, and fuck, would a finish kill them? We've had four matches, and only the one from the rebel, out of control promotion had a clean finish. Afterwards, the Nation beat on Goldust, until Miguel runs in to make the save. The crowd pops for him, but this guy was dead on arrival. ¼*
Speaking of dead, here's a flashback to 1993, when Tiny Tim came to RAW, and got insulted by Jerry Lawler. What is their continued fascination with bringing up that stupid old bit again and again?
Speaking of Jerry Lawler, he goes over to say hi to his 'friend' Ken Shamrock, who is in the crowd tonight. First rate segues tonight, guys. I was worried after that Honky Tonk Man thing, but you showed me. This was the first time I think they directly referenced UFC (or any MMA) on WWF TV, and obviously that influence/crossover would only grow from there. Anyway, Jerry's trying to name drop all over the place, but Ken says he doesn't know who he is, and he's actually pretty funny in his delivery
Slammy Awards ad
Taz v Mikey Whipwreck: "Man, has this show sucked without ECW, or what?" asks Heyman. He's tremendous. And not wrong. And another good segue, going from Ken Shamrock to Taz. It must have been pretty funny for Ken to watch a guy like Taz. Taz keeps taking him down and trying for the submissions, but Mikey keeps getting into the ropes. Taz with a nice bridging northern lights suplex for two, and a tiger suplex follows, as Faarooq shows up on split screen to hype his match with Undertaker tonight. Mikey tries fighting back with a sunset flip for two, but Taz quickly cuts him off, and delivers a whiplash. Is it a reference to Honky Tonk Man? I sure hope so. Taz works him over, as Sabu shows up on the top of the entrance set, diving to take out a bunch of guys in Taz's entourage. Looks like he missed his cue there, AND botched the move. It's almost a Sabu trifecta! Taz, nice guy that he is, helps him out by botching a spot where he's overhead suplexing Whipwreck over the top onto Sabu. Back in, another suplex sets up the Tazmission at 3:36. This was okay. Heyman was a lot of fun. ¾*
Slammy Awards ad
The Headbangers v The Legion of Doom: This is the LOD's surprise return, back for the first time since disappearing following SummerSlam 1992. They get a great reaction, though this run would end up being really disappointing. Not unlike their first WWF run. They clean house, and the dust settles on Animal and Mosh. Much destroying occurs. Tags all around, and Hawk hits Thrasher with a 2nd rope axehandle, so Mosh tags back in. The Headbangers try a double team, but Hawk shrugs it off, and kills Mosh with a cross corner clothesline. Suplex-slam and a fistdrop get two, so Mosh tries choking him out with his t-shirt, but Animal gets the tag, and powerbombs his ass for two. Headvice (and a nice one - he looks like he legitimately wants to rip the dude's head off), but Mosh makes the ropes, so Animal backelbows him. Back to Hawk with a dropkick for two, and he grounds Mosh in a bodyscissors, and then delivers a hanging vertical suplex. Mosh goes low to buy time, but Hawk no-sells the follow ups, and tags. Animal tries a backdrop, but Mosh manages to block, and finally gets out of there long enough to tag. Of course, Thrasher gets immediately mauled as well, but Hawk misses a corner charge, and ends up on the outside. That allows the Headbangers to finally get control, and they cut the ring in half on Hawk. He fights them off long enough for the tag to Animal, and Roseanne Barr the door. The LOD win the brawl on the outside, but no one minds the count, resulting in a double countout at 9:42. Why did this take so long, and go to a non-finish? It's the LOD! Just let them go out there and squash the shit out of guys in two minutes, or less. Another match tonight without a clean finish, as apparently they thought the key to overtaking WCW is to just pretend everyone on the damn roster is unbeatable. ¾*
Shawn Michaels Tell Me a Lie music video. I like how they just repurposed the same song from 1995. But, hey, it was one of the most manipulative and effective songs they ever had, so can't really blame them
Tommy Dreamer v D-Von Dudley: Heyman is back, thank goodness. I should note that all of the ECW guys have been dropping f-bombs on camera all night long. Tommy dominates, and hits a bulldog early, then dumps D-Von over the top. Dreamer follows to whack him with some weapons he grabs out of the crowd, and he hits a vertical suplex on the floor. Tommy baseball slides the steps into his face, but Dudley manages to get control with a sidewalk slam on the way back in, as Lawler and Heyman bicker on commentary. Poor Vince as the little kid in the middle of mom and dad's spat is a funny visual. Dudley tries a headbutt drop off the middle, but it misses, and Dreamer gives him a piledriver. He grabs a chair, so Dudley grabs Beulah to use as a human shield. Unfortunately for him that backfires when she mulekicks him, and Tommy finishes with a DDT at 4:34. We ignore all of that, though as Undertaker is cutting a promo on split screen. Afterwards, the Dudley Boyz attack Tommy, but Sandman makes the save. A beer drinking redneck with no respect for authority? Yeah, like that'll ever get over in the WWF. This probably the best representation of ECW on the show tonight. Heyman thanking Vince for 'letting me plug my pay per view' as he leaves is a funny touch, even getting a legitimate chuckle out of McMahon. * ¼
We take a look back at all the shenanigans involving the WWF Title match last week, ending in Sycho Sid winning the belt, and triggering a tantrum from Bret Hart after the show went off the air. Sadly, he didn't air draw any letters this time
Todd Pettengill comes out to try and interview Ken Shamrock again, and he gets a much warmer welcome. Ken's got his wife and father with him, and Todd wants to know who he's got in the WrestleMania main event. "Undertaker's got more balance," notes Shamrock. Yeah, no shit
Undertaker v Faarooq: Faarooq gets in Shamrock's face with some dad joke type stuff during the entrances, and I dig it. WrestleMania already feels like such a cold show with Sid/Undertaker on top. I get how they got there, but it's probably the least interesting thing possible. Faarooq stalls a bunch before the bell, and then after it as well. He tries to use the Nation as a distraction to take control, but Undertaker fights that off, and hits the ropewalk forearm. Clothesline knocks Faarooq over the top, but he beats the count, so Undertaker turnbuckle smashes him. Cross corner whip works, but the charge in doesn't. Faarooq with his own cross corner whip, but his own charge in doesn't work either, and Undertaker covers for two. This is the most intense game of knifey/spoony I've ever seen. Elbowdrop, but Faarooq dodges, and hooks the leg for two. Riveting. Faarooq with a matslam, and a clothesline sends Undertaker over the top, where a still unnamed D-Lo Brown attacks. Inside, Faarooq clips the leg, and works him over, but a splash hits the knees. He needs to take some advice from Savio on that one. No matter, Faarooq just clips the leg again, and goes back to work. Cross corner whip works, but he badly telegraphs a backdrop, and Undertaker counters with the rocker dropper. Legdrop, but Faarooq dodges, and goes back to the leg. Why is almost every match tonight overstaying its welcome? Probably the short staffed roster, but still. Faarooq misses another corner charge, allowing Undertaker to try a schoolboy, but it only gets two. You never see that one from him. And for good reason, based on that execution. Faarooq tries to hang on with a chinlock, and boy is this referee overzealous. Undertaker escapes, so Faarooq powerslams him for two, but a dive off the top ends badly when 'Taker catches him in a powerslam of his own. Undertaker makes the comeback, so the Nation runs interference, and Faarooq hits a piledriver. Undertaker no-sells, so the Nation just run in for another stupid DQ finish at 13:27. And then the LOD run out, which makes sense, since Hawk is probably pissed that 'Taker stole his piledriver no-sell spot. Apparently someone saw something here that I didn't, because this ended up a PPV main event a few months later. ½*
BUExperience: The ECW stuff was a pretty big deal, but the show itself made me long for the one hour format again, as it felt like it dragged on for a long time. Also, for a supposed renegade group who wants to burn things to the ground, ECW was fairly toned down, and didn’t interact with the WWF crew at all. Definitely not on the level of the nWo as far as a badass invasion goes.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.