WCW Monday Nitro (March 31, 1997)

 Original Airdate: March 31, 1997

From Roanoke, Virginia; Your Host is Tony Schiavone with Larry Zbyszko (hour one) and with Mike Tenay and Bobby Heenan (hour two)

The nWo arrive outside the building. Poor Kevin Nash looks so lost without Scott Hall. Damn rehab

 

Giant and Lex Luger v Roadblock and Rick Fuller: You know there's a lot of humanity in the ring when freakin' Luger looks small. And everyone in black, too. Giant starts with Fuller, and tosses him around with ease. Over to Luger for a 2^nd rope axehandle, so Fuller goes to the eyes, and cross corner whips him. Avalanche misses, however, and Lex uses a side suplex and a clothesline. Rick goes to the eyes again to allow the tag to Roadblock, and he corner splashes the Total Package. Clothesline, but Luger ducks, and rebounds with a running forearm smash. Fuller takes a cheap shot to put Lex back down, however, and Roadblock chokes him. Roadblock with a knee to the gut, and another run at the clothesline goes better. Legdrop gets him two, so he tags back to Fuller to unload chops. They work Lex over, but Roadblock misses an elbowdrop off the middle, and Giant gets the hot tag. The heels try double teaming, but that goes nowhere for them, and Giant chokeslams Roadblock for the pin at 4:45. The enhancement guys got too much in on Luger here, but it made for a better match than a straight squash. Afterwards, Harlem Heat run in to attack, apparently over Rodney Dangerfield. *

 

WCW Women's Cruiserweight Title Tournament Semifinal match: Toshie Uematsu v Meiko Satomura: Yay, Larry Zbyszko calling women's wrestling, 2020 should love this. Luckily, Mike Tenay joins us as well. This is a weird deal, as they created this title, held a four-woman tournament on WCW TV... and then never mentioned it again. It was defended in Japan (GAEA promotion) before being abandoned almost a year to the day after the first champion was crowned. Uematsu comes out of the corner with a running dropkick at the bell, but Meiko reverses a whip into the ropes, and goes after the arm. Cross corner whip sets up a corner forearm, and Meiko adds a bodyslam to set up a flying frogsplash, but Uematsu lifts her knees to block. Uematsu with a corner whip to set up some weird taunts, but Meiko gets pissed, and pounds her down. Meiko goes upstairs, but Uematsu slams her off, and dives with a flying splash at 2:21. Not much to it, but it was decent. *

 

Psychosis v Villano IV: They trade wristlocks to start, until Villano throws a headscissors, but Psychosis wins a criss cross with a clothesline. He drops Villano crotch-first across the top rope, and uses a flying spinheel kick to knock him to the outside. Psychosis dives with a flying corkscrew senton on the floor, but a flying DDT on the way back in misses, and Villano covers for two. Villano with a sunset flip for two (almost turned into a Canadian destroyer there), as we abandon the match to cut to the back, where the nWo are standing around chatting. Was that really pressing? Back in the ring, Villano continues to dominate, and a suplex sets up a flying moonsault, but Psychosis dodges. Psychosis capitalizes with a superkick, and the flying legdrop ends it at 4:32. Pretty basic cruiserweight match. Nothing special, but fine. * ¾

 

Gene Okerlund brings Ric Flair out, and he's super popular here. Roddy Piper joins him, and they do their usual boast filled mutual admiration thing... and that's about it. They're entertaining enough, but this was pointless

 

WCW Television Title Match: Prince Iaukea v La Parka: Parka tries charging with a running dropkick, but Iaukea sidesteps him, and blasts his challenger with a backelbow. Corner charge hits boot, allowing Parka a spinheel kick, and he cracks Prince with a nasty chop. Parka tries a flying moonsault press, which I think Iaukea was supposed to dodge, but they mistime something, and have a nasty collision. They quickly recover with Parka using a slam to set up a flying senton splash for two, and a springboard flying moonsault is worth two. Parka tries a charge, but ends up on the outside for his efforts, and Iaukea springboards after him out there. Chops, but Parka whips him into the guardrail, and he grabs a chair. Parka sits him down in the chair before knocking him out of it with a tope, but Iaukea manages a superkick on the way back in, and the champ dives with a flying bodypress - Parka dodging. That wasn't even close to hitting even if Parka never moved. Back to the outside, Parka uses a chair-assisted baseball slide on him, then springboards off of the chair with a dive. Back in, Iaukea fights him off with another superkick, and this time the flying bodypress puts it away at 4:46. Seemed like they were having communication issues throughout here. *

 

Lord Steven Regal v Chris Jericho: Okerlund talks to Regal on the way to the ring, and he promises to win the TV title back from Iaukea at Spring Stampede. I don't hate on Prince like most fans do, but after that last match, I think this officially makes Regal a babyface. Feeling out process to start, with Regal dominating on the mat. Jericho throws a spinheel kick to knock him to the apron, and a springboard dropkick knocks Steven to the floor. Chris suplexes him back in to set up a Lionsault for two, and he takes Regal upstairs for a rana, but Steven blocks. Regal kicks him in the head after getting down off the ropes, and it's uppercut time. Regal with a short-clothesline, but Jericho dodges, and throws a superkick to stun him, then a bridging rollup for the pin at 2:28. Totally did not expect that result. Too short to be anything. Afterwards, Regal snaps and epically destroys Jericho, and it takes a slew of lower card guys to put a stop to the beating. ¾*

 

Michael Wallstreet leaves the building in a huff

 

WCW Women's Title Match: Akira Hokuto v Debbie Combs: Apparently Combs used to be Randy Savage's girlfriend back in the ICW days, but she's pushing 40 at this point, and looks out of place here. Not that 40 is old, but she looks significantly older than that. Hokuto dominates, but Debbie manages a sloppy gutwrench suplex for two during a criss cross. Combs adds a bodypress for two, as Heenan reveals an Asian fetish. Hokuto fights her off with a bridging German suplex for the win at 2:33. This was really bad, with Combs looking like a total amateur, despite some twenty years in the business, and being a former NWA Women's champion. –¼*

 

Okerlund brings Madusa out, but Hokuto takes offense to her getting promo time while Hokuto is still in the aisle, and it turns into a brawl

 

We take a look back at the last year or so in Sting's life

 

The Amazing French Canadians v Jeff Jarrett and Steve McMichael: The Horsemen dominate Carl Ouellet early on, so Jacques Rougeau tries to help with a cheap shot, but both Canadians end up on the outside. Dust settles on Jacques and Jeff, and Carl does a better job of taking an appropriate cheap shot to get control. They work Jarrett over with a combo, but Jeff fights Carl off with a dropkick in short order, and Steve gets the tag. As McMichael runs wild, Public Enemy runs out to attack Jarrett, and Jacques gets hold of the briefcase in the chaos. Steve gets whacked with it, and Carl covers at 2:58. Barely a match, just background for the angle. Afterwards, Okerlund comes in to chat, and I've gotta say, I'm such a sucker for Debra's southern beauty queen act. Lacey Evans wishes she could get the bit over like her. DUD

 

Lee Marshall is in Huntsville Alabama with the 1-800-COLLECT Road Report

 

Hugh Morrus v Chris Benoit: Morrus attacks before the bell, pounding the Crippler down. Chris fights back with chops, and he manages a vertical suplex. Into the corner for more chops, but Morrus turns the tables, and uses a cross corner whip to set up an avalanche. Shook the ring on that one. Morrus uses a powerslam to set up a dive, but he takes way too long getting to the ropes, and Chris hooks a bridging German suplex at 1:37. Would it kill them to give anyone some time tonight? Afterwards, the Dungeon of Doom immediately run in to attack, complete with Jacqueline getting to hit him with a flying splash. Instead of all the terrible bullshit women they were basing this division on, they should have just run Madusa/Jackie, because that probably would have been pretty good. Or at least interesting. Ric Flair runs in to make the save, and it's literally the same exact thing as last week. ½*

 

Diamond Dallas Page v Lance Ringo: It's Pulp Fiction come to life! Lance brings Kimberly's Playboy issue with him, which proves to be a mistake, as DDP flips out, and destroys him. Inverted atomic drop and a cross corner whip lead to a side suplex, so Ringo bails to the apron, and snaps Page's throat across the top rope when Dallas comes after him. Ringo with a springboard missile dropkick, but he wastes time gloating, and Page recovers with a fireman's carry into the Diamond Cutter at 1:58. That was a cool variation, but the 'out of nowhere' factor is a better fit for the move. Afterwards, Page clarifies that he's not embarrassed of his wife's Playboy spread, his problem is how Randy Savage treated Kimberly at Uncensored. That draws the Macho Man himself out, who clarifies that DDP has no balls anyway, so it shouldn't be a problem. Ooh, low blow, Macho Man. Or, well, it would be. You know, if DDP had any balls. ¼*

 

The Steiner Brothers v High Voltage: Scott Steiner starts with Kenny Kaos, and quickly pumphandle-slams him. Over to Rick Steiner for a Steinerline, and he drops Kenny with a German suplex. Kaos bails, so Rick goes after him, but that allows Robbie Rage to dive with a cheap shot on the floor. Back in, Voltage work over Rick, but Rage wipes out while trying a springboard flying somersault senton splash, and Scott gets the tag - Roseanne Barr the door. Suplexes all around, and Scott finishes Rage with the Steiner Screwdriver at 3:23. Quick, but watchable. *

 

WCW World Tag Team Champion Kevin Nash and WCW Cruiserweight Champion Syxx come out to take over the announce booth (complete with a hilarious frantic escape from Heenan), complaining that most of the nWo didn't show up tonight, so they couldn't run wild like they usually do. But they don't need them anyway. Well, which is it, guys?

 

BUExperience: Another week with very little of note going on. You’d think that would mean they’d focus more on the in-ring side, but instead it’s just a bunch of quickie nothing matches all night. RAW wasn’t great, but it felt more eventful and impactful, so give the WWF the win this week.

 

Monday Night Wars Rating Chart

	3/31/97
Show	RAW	Nitro
Rating	2.7	3.4
Total Wins	17	56
Win Streak		39
Better Show (as of 3/31)	29	42