WWF Coliseum Video Collection: WrestleFest ’91 (1991) (Version II)

 

WWF Coliseum Video Collection: WrestleFest ‘91 (1991)

Coliseum Video compilation. The front cover features Greg Valentine hiptossing Rick Martel, and promises grooming tips from Brutus Beefcake, so you know this one’s gonna be a’good. For a moment, I thought Martel was Paul Roma. But then I realized no one would ever put Paul Roma on the cover of a video tape they hoped to sell for actual money, and so it must be Rick Martel

Randy Savage, recently retired but apparently having Vietnam style flashbacks to WrestleMania VII, hosts from pool side. Where he's all alone (as made painfully obvious by the very wide opening camera angle), with only his dark thoughts to keep him company. That's kind of fucking depressing. And he immediately sounds edgy about having to play host rather than wrestle. Yeah, get used to that 'Mach. And he's super fucking bitter at Ultimate Warrior. I appreciate that he didn't just immediately become a happy-to-lucky babyface, he still had some edge for a while

Earthquake is getting ready to shave his chest, but apparently he's got to wrestle Warrior, so now that's out the window. And who hasn't been there?

Ultimate Warrior v Earthquake: TV taping dark match from February 19 1991 in Fort Myers Florida. That mullet was a bad look on Warrior. Not that it was a GOOD look on anyone else, but it was definitely a step down for him. Earthquake tries a sneak attack, but Warrior quickly fights him off, and Earthquake bails to the outside to regroup following a jumping shoulderblock. Cue a distraction from Jimmy Hart to lure Warrior to the outside, and of course, the moron falls for it. That allows Earthquake to take control, and he goes to work as they head back inside. Bearhug wears Warrior down for an elbowdrop, and it's Earthquake Splash time, but it only gets two. And triggers some CRACKING UP!! So. many. clotheslines. Bodyslam sets up a splash at 5:36. Wow, that was a shockingly clean finish. I know Earthquake was being phased down by 1991, but I still expected some sort of cheap DQ. The match was terrible regardless, but at least it was terrible with a clean finish. DUD (Original rating: -½*)

Back at the pool, Savage is literally shaking with rage, and takes a drink to calm down. Okay, despite the insanely bright color palette, this is getting dark

Big Boss Man v Mountie: TV taping dark match from Green Bay Wisconsin on May 7 1991, featuring a Manager Cam gimmick with Jimmy Hart. Which basically means most of the match is shot over Hart's shoulder. Mountie tries a sneak attack, but eats a big boot (and a good one), and Boss Man gives him a spinebuster. Boss Man, in a clear display of abuse of police authority, steals Jimmy's jacket to beat on Mountie with for a while, until Mountie finally just bails. Would it be considered police brutality since they're both law enforcement? Boss Man drags him back in for a pair of straddling ropechokes, followed by a cross corner whip, but a corner big boot misses. Well, he hit one earlier. You can't expect to win all the time, Boss Man. Mountie capitalizes by going to work on the leg, but he wastes time gloating, and walks into a Boss Man Slam at 6:13. Another super boring match, and the Manager Cam gimmick added nothing. ¼* (Original rating: DUD)

The Rockers v Power & Glory: From Prime Time Wrestling on April 23 1991 (taped April 15) in Omaha Nebraska. Shawn Michaels starts with Paul Roma, and I suddenly have the urge to watch a single's match between these two. Tell me that wouldn't be pretty good, circa 1994. Roma cheats to get control, and he pounds Shawn into the corner with rights, but Michaels reverses a cross corner whip, and uses a rana into mounted punches. That draws Hercules in, but the Rockers dispatch him with stereo superkicks (though Marty Jannetty's totally missed), and Roma suffers the same fate to make it a clean house. Dust settles on Marty and Paul, and Roma takes a cheap shot to get control again. That allows Power & Glory to double team in their corner, but Marty uses speed to evade, and he takes Paul's head off with a clothesline for two. Jannetty quickly grounds him with a chinlock, but gets distracted by Slick, and Hercules takes a cheap shot to turn the tide. Power & Glory go to work on Jannetty, and Marty is doing a great job of selling, while Shawn is doing a great job of getting over his frustration at the heel tactics. Both Shawn and Bret Hart are two of the most underrated tag wrestlers of all time, and if they hadn't broken out as top level singles, they'd probably get their proper due. Roma misses a corner charge to allow the hot tag to Shawn, and Roseanne Barr the door! The Rockers go for the kill on Roma with stereo dives, but Slick gets involved, suckering them into a chase for the countout at 10:50. The Rockers steal Slick's hat afterwards, as a measure of revenge. A step down from their SummerSlam '90 opener, but perfectly competent wrestling. * ¾ (Original rating: *)

Back at the pool, Randy continues to day drink, but now he's starting to get restless, and decides he wants to play pool. Yeah, give the jittery guy you just filled with booze a large stick, brilliant

Ted DiBiase talks slowly so Kerry Von Erich can understand him. That's considerate

Ted DiBiase v Kerry Von Erich: TV taping dark match from Orlando Florida on February 18 1991. Von Erich has Virgil in his corner to really piss off the Million Dollar Man tonight. The commentators note that not having Sensational Sherri at ringside to counteract Virgil is going to make this tough for Ted, so I guess we're pretending this was shot after WrestleMania VII. DiBiase wastes time jawing at Virgil, allowing Von Erich to attack, and send Ted into the steps on the outside. Back in, Ted tries fighting him off with chops in the corner, but Kerry reverses a series of turnbuckle smashes, and schoolboys him for two. Clothesline sends Ted bailing for the outside, but Virgil chucks him back in, and Von Erich schoolboys again for two. Ted bails again, so Kerry sends him into the steps out there, and hits him with the Tornado Punch. Ted barely acknowledges it, however, so Kerry tries a second one, but ends up hitting the post in the process. That allows DiBiase to smash him into the steps, and back in we go, with Ted going to town in the corner. DiBiase with a clothesline to set up a fistdrop, and he tosses Kerry to the outside as a taunt at Virgil. Ted tries slamming him back in from the apron, but Virgil trips him up, and Von Erich topples for the pin at 6:20. Not much to this one. ¾* (Original rating: ¼*)

Davey Boy Smith v Haku: From Prime Time Wrestling on March 11 1991 (taped February 19) in Fort Myers Florida. Haku goes after the arm to start, but Davey tries a fancy reversal, so Haku just pokes him in the eye. So refreshingly direct. Criss cross ends in Bulldog dropkicking him to the outside, and Haku regroups out there for a bit. Back in, Bulldog uses an armdrag, prompting Haku to complain of hair pulling, so Smith bodyslams him. More hair pulling complaints, but Smith shrugs them off, and grabs a sleeper. Haku fights him off, so Bulldog uses a drop-toehold into an armbar. Monkeyflip, but Haku counters with an inverted atomic drop, and he plants him with a piledriver for two. That was a beauty of a piledriver. Sleeper, but Bulldog escapes, and a criss cross allows him to throw a bodypress for two. Haku quickly cuts the comeback off, however, and he takes it to the mat with a chinlock. Kind of going backwards there, aren't we? Davey fights free to trigger a slugfest, which turns into them trading headbutts, and Haku gets the better of it. Dropkick, but Davey dodges, and comes back with a backdrop. Series of clotheslines get two, but another backdrop gets blocked with a kick to the face. Haku whips him into the ropes to finish off, but he's still groggy, and Bulldog is able to hook a crucifix at 7:51. A little boring during Haku's heat segment, but generally watchable. ¾* (Original rating: ¼*)

Savage is playing billiards, talking to himself, and pretending the cue is a machine gun. You know, totally normal behavior.

Brutus Beefcake is in the Barber Shop for the promised segment on grooming tips, which consist of covering some poor guy in mud, and then removing it with a leaf blower. Everything about Beefcake's outfit and hairstyle make me uncomfortable here. Not in a homophobic way, it just seems so unsanitary

Greg Valentine v Rick Martel: TV taping dark match from Biloxi Mississippi on March 12 1991. Martel shows off to start, but quickly gets caught in an overhead wristlock, and needs the ropes to save himself. He tries one of his own, but Greg counters to a hammerlock, but Rick rolls into the ropes again. Martel bails to regroup, gets himself all psyched up... and still ends up getting caught in a headlock. Really basic stuff, but this sort of thing is better at engaging a crowd than just doing a bunch of out of context high spots. Rick tries a high knee in the corner, but misses, and Hammer goes to work on the leg. Martel manages to fight him off long enough to pounce with a choke, and he dumps the Hammer to the outside, sending Greg into the apron out there. Back in, Rick keeps on him with a 2^nd rope axehandle to the lower back, and he slaps on an abdominal stretch. Greg uses a hiptoss to escape, but frankly Martel had it coming for not using the ropes like a proper heel. Rick tries to save himself with another 2^nd rope axehandle, but Valentine gutpunches him this time, and starts making the comeback. Clothesline puts Martel on the outside, and Valentine stupidly chases after him for the double countout at 8:22. Really? THESE guys are too protected to do a job? ½* (Original rating: ½*)

Warlord v Koko B. Ware: From Prime Time Wrestling on March 4 1991 (taped February 19) in Fort Myers Florida. Slick's hat is decidedly less fancy here than in the tag match earlier, but this was actually taped before, so you really have to feel for the man. He had a brand new hat, and those horrible jerk Rockers ruined it! That really burns my ass. Warlord tries powering him around at the bell, so Koko sticks and moves, but ends up getting backdropped over the top for his trouble. Ware tries a slingshot sunset flip on the way back in, but Warlord manages to block, and he goes back to pounding. Bearhug wears Koko down, but Ware still manages to dodge an elbowdrop, and he hooks a schoolboy for two. Missile dropkick gets two, but a dive misses, and Koko knocks himself silly on the ropes. That allows Warlord a running powerslam for the pin at 6:24. ¼* (Original rating: DUD)

Macho is done with fun and games. Now he's sitting alone, in a dark room, watching a tape of the Retirement Match at WrestleMania VII

The Hart Foundation v The Legion of Doom: TV taping dark match from Biloxi Mississippi on March 12 1991. The Foundation's WWF Tag Team Title is not on the line here. Oddly, they don't even have the belts with them, nor are they announced as champions, despite being so. That kind of thing happened in WCW all the time, but usually the WWF guys would have their belts with them if they were still champions. I'm guessing they knew this was being taped for Coliseum, and that the Foundation would no longer be champions by the time the tape came out, so why make it feel dated. Jim Neidhart and Animal start, and Animal gets the better of a power exchange. Tags all around, and Bret Hart tries whipping Hawk into the ropes, but nearly gets press-slammed. He slips free and tries a rollup, but Hawk blocks, and dumps the Hitman over the top. Hawk pounds him on the floor before rolling him back in for a backdrop, but Bret is ready with a swinging neckbreaker for two, and he tags out to the Anvil. Criss cross sees Bret take a cheap shot to put Hawk down, and Jim capitalizes with a clothesline. Looked like Hawk was supposed to go over the top there, but they messed it up. And, yep, Jim then dumps him to the outside for Bret to abuse, and back in, he hits another clothesline for two. The champions-but-not-champions go to work on Hawk, and they're just going full heel here, openly cheating, and not even being subtle about it. I'm kind of surprised, because usually when Bret would play heel in a babyface/babyface match, he was very good as walking that line. They hit Hawk with the Hart Attack, but a frustrated Animal breaks up the cover, before getting sent back out by the referee. That allows Bret to stay on Hawk with an inverted atomic drop, and he pounds him into the home corner for a double team with Anvil, but Hawk dodges them. Hot tag Animal, and Roseanne Barr the door! Animal whips them into each other to get rid of Anvil, and it's Doomsday Device time, but Jim crotches Hawk to stop it. That allows Hart a victory roll on Animal for two, and he launches Jim into him with a slingshot shoulderblock. Rocket launcher, but Bret gets caught in a powerslam on the way down, getting pinned at 11:27. Not great, but a fun final hurrah for the Foundation as a heel team. Don't get me wrong, the Foundation are awesome bad guys, but it would have been fun to see the LOD heel it up here instead. ** ¼ (Original rating: *)

Marty Jannetty v Tanaka: From Prime Time on April 2 1991 (taped March 15) in New York New York. Marty tries distancing himself from Tanaka's martial arts kicks, but ends up getting caught with one, and Tanaka works a headlock. Marty forces a criss cross and nails Tanaka with a right hand to knock him to the outside, and Jannetty works a headlock of his own once Tanaka comes back inside. Tanaka forces a criss cross of his own to escape, but Marty outthinks him, and throws another right to put Tanaka back on the outside. Marty dives after him with a plancha this time, and holy shit, Lord Alfred Hayes is actually not annoying me on commentary. Which I've found to be a trend in watching these old tapes lately. I must be getting soft in my old age. Mr. Fuji distracts Marty and the referee to allow Tanaka to pull a top turnbuckle pad off, though he's so slow at doing so that it stretches your ability to believe it. And then he doesn't even get it off in the end! So instead of using the buckle, Tanaka just settles for coming over and yelling at Jannetty, so Marty dives at him with a jumping backelbow, and he adds a superkick. Tanaka begs off in the corner to send Marty into the 'exposed' top turnbuckle, though it isn't actually exposed, and thankfully Marty doesn't sell it as if it is. Good for you, Marty, keep your dignity. It won't last much longer, but it's still 1991, and you don't know that. Marty misses a corner splash, taking a bump to the outside in the process, and that turns the tide. Back in, Tanaka goes to work with a headbutt drop to the groin, but a corner charge hits boot, and Marty dives with a 2^nd rope facebuster for two. Schoolboy gets two, so Tanaka pops him with a superkick (which misses, though Marty does sell this one), and a jumping forearm follows. Big chop sends Jannetty over the top rope, so Marty tries slipping back in between Tanaka's legs, but gets clobbered. Tombstone, but Marty reverses, and holy shit, he just SummerSlam '97'd him. And, yeah, you'd better believe that's it at 10:51. Sean Mooney: "what a victory for the Rocker Shawn Michaels... 's partner Marty Jannetty!" Good save their, Sean. Tanaka looked really bad here, and I'm surprised this made TV, let alone a video release. Marty did a good job of holding it together, though. * (Original rating: ½*)

Back at home, Savage's WrestleMania tape has finally reached the reunion with Miss Elizabeth, which thankfully puts him in a far better mood

BUExperience: Not much here, but the only meeting between the Legion of Doom and the Hart Foundation is worth a look, and Savage’s tape long therapeutic journey through the stages of grief is something to behold.

A decent addition to your Coliseum Collection