WWF RAW is WAR (May 26, 1997)

Original Airdate: May 26, 1997

From Evansville, Indiana; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Jim Ross

Jim Ross brings Shawn Michaels and Steve Austin out to discuss their reluctant partnership tonight, but before they have a chance to get too reluctant, the Legion of Doom hit the ring to break up the party. They want first shot if Michaels and Austin win the belts tonight, and that could actually be a pretty fun match, I hope we get it

 

The Legion of Doom v Jim Neidhart and Brian Pillman: The Foundation slide right in to brawl, but the LOD quickly clean house, and Pillman is fuming. Dust settles on Hawk and Brian to start, and Pillman is quick to take a cheap shot to get control, but he telegraphs a backdrop, and takes a matslam. Hawk with a sloppy press-slam, and then he does it a second time, doing a better job of it on the second go. Weird hearing the announcers openly talking about the LOD's past title reigns in different promotions. Jim tags in, but gets overpowered in an exchange with Animal, so Brian comes back in, but Hawk fights off the double team. Pillman begs off of Animal, but the Road Warrior doesn't fall for the cheap shot, and powerslams Brian. Clothesline, but Pillman ducks, and Animal takes a spill over the top to turn the tide. Back in, the Foundation fail to cut the ring in half, and Hawk gets the hot tag - Roseanne Barr the door. Hawk with a big boot on Brian, and it's Doomsday Device time, but Owen Hart and Davey Boy Smith run in for the DQ at 4:26. Afterwards, the Foundation deliver a beat down, so Shawn and Steve return to make the save, and hell, that would be a pretty fun 8-man. Maybe someone should book something like that. I think there's an In Your House coming up in July, might be a good spot for it. Unfortunately for Michaels and Austin, they quickly end up turning on each other, and it turns into a pull apart brawl between the two of them, as the Foundation scurry away. ¼*

 

Backstage, Sunny squirts on Honky Tonk Man. Still an improvement over working with Rockabilly

 

Backstage, Paul Bearer is not stupid. He is ugly, though. And fat. Sorry, that's mean. I mean, it's still true. But no need to be mean. Even to the uglies and the fats

 

Bob Holly v D-'lo Brown: It's race car time! And, because Faarooq joins us on commentary for this one, it's also race card time! Holly with a rana right away, and a clothesline follows. Cross corner whip works, but the charge in doesn't, and Brown uses a bodyslam to set up a pair of legdrops. D-lo with a vertical suplex for two, but Holly catches him with a dropkick during a criss cross. Brown throws a knee to cut him off, however, and D-lo adds a slingshot legdrop for two. A punch gets two, so Brown starts unloading in the corner, but Bob turns the tables. He tries another rana, but Brown counters with a sitout powerbomb at 3:14. Brown looked super green here, but it was mostly okay. ¾*

 

WWF Champion Undertaker has a decision to make. Good thing he's hanging around in his dark room filled with purple glowing light. Looks like a good place to think

 

King of the Ring inflatable chair ad

 

King of the Ring Tournament Quarterfinal Match: Goldust v Jerry Lawler: Well, at least Lawler's really mean-spirited commentary towards Goldust on last week's show makes more sense now. And speaking of which, King cuts a pre-match promo that makes last weeks stuff seem positively kind - telling Goldust that his dad is disappointed in him because he marred the 'biggest gold digger in Georgia,' calling him a 'flaming fag,' and noting that he should have named his young daughter 'Target,' because everybody in Atlanta has a shot. Wow, wow, and wow. Also wow: this gets him a babyface reaction. Goldust, understandably, doesn't take that too well, and he attacks before the bell. Backdrop works, but he telegraphs a second one, and Jerry turns the tide. He tries a backdrop of his own, but Goldust blocks, and it's Curtain Call time, but the King holds the ropes to block. Goldust dives with a flying axehandle instead, but Jerry throws a punch to the gut to block, and he delivers the Piledriver. He stops to yell at Marlena instead of covering, however, allowing Goldust to recover with a piledriver of his own for two. Goldust with mounted punches, and he unloads in the corner, so Jerry goes to the eyes. That allows the King a turnbuckle smash and a fistdrop, as the announcers name drop Jim Crockett. This period is getting weirder and weirder by the minute. Lawler works him over in slow, dull fashion, but misses a clothesline, allowing Goldust to come back with a bulldog. Goldust with a clothesline and a ten-punch count - including the usual sexual assault. 1997 was a very different time. Charge in the corner misses, however, so Jerry jaws as Marlena again, but gets slapped this time. That allows Goldust time to recover, but Lawler sweeps him into a leveraged pin at 5:22 - drawing a pretty sizeable babyface pop. Really dull, counterproductive match. ¼*

 

Backstage, Steve Austin is ready to give an interview, when he gets jumped by the Hart Foundation. After the commercial break, Steve goes searching for the Harts, but instead finds Shawn Michaels - who was also attacked by them

 

Rocky Maivia v Flash Funk: They do the babyface clean break in the corner on the initial lockup, and a criss cross ends in Rocky hammering him with rights, as the Headbangers show up with those King of the Ring inflatable chairs to join the commentary team. Rocky tries a side suplex, but Funk slips free, and hits a corkscrew kick for two. Funk with a cross corner whip followed in by a clothesline, but a uranage gets reversed for two. Maivia tries an armbar, but Funk quickly escapes, and sweeps him down. Rocky kips up and tries a dropkick, but Flash dodges, and uses a spinkick to knock Maivia to the outside. Rocky was supposed to go over the top there, but he totally messed it up. Funk with a plancha, and suddenly the Headbangers decide to attack both guys for some reason. And the referee doesn't even really care. Back in, Maivia with a flying bodypress at 3:36. This whole thing was a huge mess, and with a terrible, nonsensical finish to boot. DUD

 

It's time for the next part of Jim Ross's sit down interview with the 'real Mankind.' He played high school lacrosse! Honestly, that only makes him more of a monster in my eyes. He relates a great story here of getting hit in the nuts, which resulted in them swelling up to the size of grapefruits, and getting him female attention for the first time in his life. I believe this was the origin of 'grapefruits' as a euphemism on WWF TV. These segments remain great, as they take advantage of Mick Foley's natural charisma and personality

 

The Sega Slam of the Week is Brian Pillman hitting a neckbreaker on Shotgun Saturday Night

 

Backstage, Bret Hart accepts Shawn Michaels' stipulations for King of the Ring. Didn't he already do that last week? Meanwhile, Pillman throws down a challenge to Austin for the show. That is, if Bulldog and Owen leave anything of him after tonight

 

Ahmed Johnson v Vader: If Vader wins, he gets a spot back in the King of the Ring tournament. I'd forgotten how absolutely bizarre the booking of the tournament was that year. And the whole show, for that matter. Ken Shamrock is out to do guest commentary on this one, thankfully sans inflatable chair. Ahmed's walk to the ring may be slower than Iron Sheik’s at WrestleMania X-7. Both guys are wearing the same colors, which are also the same colors of the ring, set design, and show logo. So, good branding, if nothing else. Vader tries to push him around to start, though his attempts at intimidation seem less effective when the guy who beat his ass so badly that he lost his spot in the King of the Ring tournament is on commentary. Johnson gets fired up and slams the big man around, and actually gets the better of trading fists in the corner, as the announcers hype the upcoming UFC pay per view. You could point to almost any moment of a RAW in 1997 and find something just surreal. Vader works him over in slow fashion, until Ahmed suddenly catches him with a spinebuster at 3:03. Total crap. Something in the water in Evansville? DUD

 

Call the WWF Hotline to find out of there is dissention in the ranks of the Nation of Domination! Say what you will about Gene Okerlund's sales tactics, but at least he actually pushed stories someone might give a shit about

 

Backstage, Paul Bearer notes that he's going to wreck Undertaker's life worse than any giant, warrior, or immortal ever could

 

Hunter Hearst Helmsley v Rockabilly: Criss cross allows Hunter a high knee to start, but Rockabilly reverses a cross corner whip, and gives him both sides of an atomic drop. Clothesline gets two, so HHH goes to the eyes to buy time, and a kneeling facebuster connects. Hunter with a vertical suplex to set up a kneedrop for two, so Rockabilly goes to the eyes, and hits a rocker dropper - Chyna pulling him off of a cover at two. Rockabilly stays focused on Hunter with boots in the corner, but Honky Tonk Man's attempts at using the guitar get thwarted by Chyna, and HHH delivers the Pedigree at 3:06. They just can't seem to decide who is a face and who is a heel from week to week with this show. DUD

 

Undertaker is still in his purple closet, doing what a man has to do. Whatever that is. Might involve butt sex. Not sure

 

Sable comes out to advertise the King of the Ring inflatable chair. Man, they were going all in on the chair, huh? I wonder why. It's only $70 after shipping. A bargain for a cheap piece of plastic

 

Back to the real Mankind, who hitchhiked to Madison Square Garden to see Jimmy Snuka and Don Muraco in a cage in 1983, which elevated that match to somewhat mythical status for years, when it's actually a pretty shitty match. It's also hard to believe that was only fourteen years prior, because Mankind does not seem like a dude who was in school only fourteen years prior. So seeing that match leads to the creation of Dude Love, including clips of Mick taking a crazy bump off the roof of a friend’s house during a backyard wrestling match. That led to him getting actual training, and become Cactus Jack, including clips of him doing crazy hardcore death matches in Japan. And there, among the barbed wire and beds of nails, he realized that 'Mrs. Foley's baby boy is finally home.' This was all suitably mind blowing at the time, and actually productive, too

 

WWF Tag Team Title Match: Owen Hart and Davey Boy Smith v Shawn Michaels and Steve Austin: This is Shawn's first match since forfeiting the WWF Title back in February. Interestingly, his last match also saw him team with Austin at a house show in New Jersey. The challengers attack during the entrances, and the dust settles on Owen and Steve to start - despite Shawn protesting. Criss cross allows Austin a knee, and he capitalizes with a trio of pointed elbowdrops. Sharpshooter, so Bulldog runs in, but Steve fights him off. Back to Owen with a bodyslam to set up a 2^nd rope pointed elbowdrop for two, and Michaels tags in with a flying axehandle. Shawn works a wristlock, but Owen reverses, and rakes the eyes. Tag to Bulldog, and a shoulderblock sends Shawn flying back in a major oversell. Criss cross goes Shawn's way with an eye poke, and a rana sets up mounted punches. Another criss cross ends in Michaels hitting a leg-feed enzuigiri for two, and Steve tags back in to gleefully stomp Davey in the bulldogs. I like how Shawn and Steve can't even get along for a moment outside of the ring, but once inside, their mutual hatred of the Harts has gelled them into a tag team unit. Owen with a cheap shot on Austin, so Steve goes after him on the outside, allowing Hart to drop him across the guardrail. Back in, Hart works a chinlock, but Steve fights free, so Owen tries a sleeper - only for Austin to knock him silly with a jawbreaker. Both guys manage tags, and Shawn comes in hot on Bulldog with a jumping forearm. Dropkick follows, but a criss cross ends badly when Smith press-drops him crotch-first across the top rope. Shawn bumps to the outside off of it, and Hart is right there to ram him into the post for good measure. Back inside, Bulldog sends him halfway across the ring with a catapult into the corner for two, and a cross corner whip flips Shawn into the Running Powerslam, but Steve saves at two. Austin keeps brawling with Owen as the referee tries to restore order, allowing the champs to switch off without a tag, and Hart deliver a gutwrench suplex and a legdrop for two. Chinlock, but Shawn fights free - only to run into an overhead suplex for two during another criss cross. The champs double up in the corner, and their heel tactics are A-level as they cut the ring in half on HBK. It's interesting how both guys rose to fame as babyface tag guys, yet they're both such perfect heels. Owen tries a superplex, but Shawn fights him off, and dives with a flying bodypress for two. He goes for the tag, but Hart cuts him off with a spinheel kick, only to miss a charge in the corner. That allows the tag to Austin, and you'd better believe he comes in hot. Stunner on Bulldog, but Owen cuts it off, so Shawn comes in with a Superkick on Smith - Steve covering for three at 12:18. The Foundation immediately run in, of course, and they put a beating on Michaels, as Austin just calmly walks away with his title belt, not a care in the world. He decides to attack an exposed Bret Hart at the top of the ramp, however, and pounds him down for a while until the Foundation can save. This was non-stop action, and a really fun match, though the finish felt a little out of nowhere. Or maybe I'm just too conditioned to modern tag matches, where the hot tag leads to another twenty minutes of nearfalls. **** (Original rating: **** ½)

 

The SuperSoaker Rewind is the finish to the tag match we literally just saw. Someone should demand a recount

 

Backstage, Austin celebrates his title win alone, until Shawn shows up to demand his share of the credit

 

Vince McMahon brings Paul Bearer out, and Paul wants a response to his ultimatum. It's been 'burning inside of him,' he notes, in a nice bit of foreshadowing. He talks about the Undertaker's parents’ funeral, and how he was the funeral director, and met/abducted... apparently... child Undertaker that day. But there was not just two graves that day, no, there were three. That draws a stormy Undertaker out to cut Paul's story off, and he pretty much straight up threatens to murder Bearer. He grabs him by the throat and forces him to his knees, but Paul says something to him that gets Undertaker to back off, and drop to his knees in the old signature salute to Bearer just as the show goes off the air. See kids, blackmail works

 

BUExperience: Some really great stuff in the Foley interview, the Undertaker angle, and the tag title match, and lots of really, really, really bad stuff in, well, everything else. I wouldn’t call this a good episode, but the big stuff was enough to make it memorable, that’s for sure.

 

Monday Night Wars Rating Chart

	5/26/97
Show	RAW	Nitro
Rating	2.7	3.3
Total Wins	17	64
Win Streak		47
Better Show (as of 5/19)	33	45