WWE Survivor Series (November 2021)

Original Airdate: November 21, 2021

 

From Brooklyn, New York; Your Hosts are Jimmy Smith, Byron Saxton, and Corey Graves (RAW); Michael Cole and Pat McAfee (Smackdown)

 

Opening Match: Becky Lynch v Charlotte Flair: Becky is the WWE RAW Women's champion and Flair is the WWE Smackdown Women's champ, but this is non-title. They slug it out right away, and Flair goes for the Natural Selection early, but gets trapped in a Dis-Arm-Her instead. She escapes and tackles Becky down for mounted punches, but they spill to the outside, where Lynch sends her into the post. Flair beats the count, so Becky puts the boots to her, but Flair counters a chokeslam with an STO across her knee. Big boot follows, so Becky bails to the apron, but gets sent into the post out there for her trouble. Flair tries diving after her with a flying moonsault press, but Lynch pops up, and shoves her off the top and into the barricade. Becky follows, but gets side suplexed onto the barricade before she can strike, and both scramble to beat the count. Inside, she slug it out again, won by Flair. She takes Becky into the corner for chops, but Lynch is all fired up, and fights her off. Dis-Arm-Her, but Flair counters with a schoolgirl for two, and then uses a modified chokeslam for two. Becky goes for the hold again, but Flair keeps blocking, so Lynch unloads on her in the corner instead. Suplex, but Charlotte reverses her into the buckles, and she goes up for the flying moonsault. Lynch dodges, so Charlotte regroups with a standing version instead for two. Suplex, but Lynch counters with an inside cradle for two, and a guillotine legdrop is worth two. Rings of saturn into a cradle gets two, so Becky unloads a few uppercuts, but runs into a headbutt while trying a charge. That gives Flair a two count, but Lynch blocks a German suplex. Flair stays on her with a side suplex, but Becky blocks that as well, so Flair just blasts her with a big boot instead, for two. Bodyslam, but Becky counters with an inverted DDT for two. That allows her a flying legdrop attempt, but Flair dodges. Becky barely sells it, but that’s actually believable considering the level of padding she’s got to cushion that landing. Lynch with a figure four, but Flair reverses, so Lynch grabs the ropes to save herself. Flair uses a big boot to knock Becky to the outside, and she dives with the flying moonsault press on the floor. “Didn’t get all of it,” note the announcers. That’s putting it diplomatically. Inside, that gets two, so Flair goes for a fujiwara armbar, but Becky makes the ropes. Flair responds by unloading with chops, and she hooks a rollup, but gets busted using the ropes at two. That allows Lynch a reversal, and she scores the leveraged pin at 18:14. This was good work all around. *** ¼

 

Survivor Series Elimination Match: Team RAW (Seth Rollins, Bobby Lashley, Finn Balor, Kevin Owens, and Austin Theory) v Team Smackdown (Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Jeff Hardy, Happy Corbin, and Xavier Woods): Owens and Woods start, but instead of locking up, Kevin just hops out of the ring, and pulls a Bad News Brown at 0:38. Dust settles on Austin and Woods, and Xavier dominates. The Smackdown team take turns abusing Austin, and why is Baron dressed like he’s on Ocean Drive in 1996? And the 90s throwback actually makes sense, since it takes me back to when the WWF and WCW would rip each other’s gimmicks off. I mean, it’s supposed to be a take on MJF, right? Complete with fake Wardlow and everything. Austin manages to evade long enough to tag Balor… who promptly gets himself into the same situation. They work Finn over, until Lashley decides to come in, and things break down. In the chaos, Balor is able to dive on Corbin with the Coup de Grace at 7:33. Dust settles on Balor and Hardy, and they trade some basic stuff for a bit. Over to Rollins to pound Jeff with axehandles, but he fights both guys off with a Whisper in the Wind. Meanwhile, Lashley posts Drew on the outside, as his entire team just stands around and watches it happen in their own corner. What a bunch of dorks, no wonder no one takes this promotion’s storytelling seriously anymore. Woods does some sticking and moving on Austin, but gets knocked off the top by Lashley while trying a dive, and Bobby spears him. Hurt Lock, and that’s it for Xavier at 13:07. Good for Bobby. He’s the only guy in this thing still acting like he’s part of a real sport, and not just play acting in his underwear. Drew comes in to showdown with Bobby, and he wins a big slugfest, but walks into a reverse STO. Bobby adds a spear in the corner, but a cross corner whip backfires when Drew rebounds with a clothesline. Second clothesline knocks Lashley over the top, and Drew follows for a brawl - both men getting counted out at 16:01. Thirty+ years, literally everything in the promotion has changed a dozen times, but they’re still booking Survivor Series matches the same way. Rollins taunts Drew on the way out, but gets clobbered, allowing Sheamus to take control as things settle back down. Seth blocks a corner charge to allow the tag to Balor, but he walks into a front-powerslam for two. Finn fights back with a sling blade and a running dropkick to set up the Coup, but Sheamus dodges, and sticks him with the Brogue Kick at 19:14. Austin hustles in with a dropkick on Sheamus for two (as the announcers continue to reference AEW by calling him a ‘young buck’), and he passes to Seth for a suplex for two. Seth works a chinlock, but Sheamus fights free, and uses a backbreaker across the knee to allow a tag to Jeff - Roseanne Barr the door! The Smackdown team dominates, and Sheamus goes for the kill on Rollins, but gets distracted by Austin, and eats a superkick for two. He looks to escape, but Hardy is in trouble, and Austin schoolboys Sheamus at 24:24. Sheamus decides to kill a gloating Austin on his way out, and then takes Hardy down as well, just for good measure. That allows Rollins to capitalize with a flying frogsplash, but Jeff gets a shoulder up at two. Okay, actually, the Survivor Series booking clichés aren’t the only thing that hasn’t changed… we’ve been watching Jeff Hardy get destroyed and fight from underneath for thirty years, too. He manages a Swanton Bomb to pin Austin at 26:38, and tries a cradle to end Seth’s night, but it only gets two. Twist of Fate sets up another Swanton, but Rollins lifts his knees to block, and the curb stomp wins it at 29:38.

Survivor: Seth Rollins

Well, that certainly felt like the equivalent of the owner of the shop giving himself the employee of the month award. *

 

Rock's 25^th Anniversary 25-Man Battle Royal: We've got Drew Gulak, Shelton Benjamin, Omos, Humberto, R-Truth, Otis, T-BAR, Cedric Alexander, Chad Gable, Erik, Ivar, Jinder Mahal, Angel, Shanky, Mansoor, Robert Roode, Ricochet, Dolph Ziggler, Sami Zayn, Commander Azeez, AJ Styles, Apollo Crews, Cesaro, Angelo Dawkins, and Montez Ford. So this a celebration of Rock’s debut at Survivor Series 1996, and is a tie-in with his new movie (Red Notice on Netflix, which was okay), and also Pizza Hut as well, since why not? Anyway, it’s a battle royal - you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all. And this is one. Though, this one also features wrestlers eating pizza mid-match, which only happens, I dunno, a quarter of the time? I’m not really sure, I usually skim battle royals anyway. Which is perhaps especially fitting tonight, since I think Pizza Hut uses skim milk cheese on their pizzas, don’t they? Again, I’m not really sure, I’m more of a Domino’s guy anyway when it comes to big chain pizza. So, Omos wins at 10:38, last eliminating Ricochet. ¼*

 

Randy Orton and Riddle v The Usos: Orton and Riddle hold the WWE RAW Tag Team title, while the Usos hold the WWE Smackdown Tag Team title, but neither is on the line. Riddle starts with Jimmy Uso, and he dominates him in the early going, but gets into trouble after (shockingly) acting like a douche, and the Usos cut the ring in half. Is Orton auditioning to be Adam Sandler’s twin for some ill-advised sequel to Jack and Jill? Because that’s the only reasonable explanation for that mustache. Unless maybe Sandler is trying to build a WWE career? I don’t know which came first, but I don’t have time to hash out this chicken or the egg situation, because Orton gets the hot tag. But now I’m not paying attention because I have eggs and corned beef hash on the brain. Boredom and free association have brought us to this. Can AEW say the same? Would breakfast foods have ever even crossed my mind if I was watching one of their shows? Exactly. Exactly. Food for thought. Though, not actual food, let’s be clear. Not eggs. Not hash. Not even a pretzel. Pretzels are also like wrestling holds, sometimes. Not too many pretzels in this match, though, just moves. Like when Jimmy dives off the top, but lands in an RKO at 14:45. ½*

 

Survivor Series Elimination Match: Team RAW (Bianca Belair, Rhea Ripley, Zelina Vega, Carmella, and Liv Morgan) v Team Smackdown (Sasha Banks, Shayna Baszler, Natalya, Toni Storm, and Shotzi): I see Shotzi has also fallen victim to the main roster last name omission. Carmella starts with Storm, and decks her right away, but then bails to go fix her makeup. She wants to come back in sporting some kind of protective mask, but gets distracted with it, and Storm schoolgirls her at 1:09. I love Ripley’s reaction to that. Dust settles on Belair and Shotzi, and Bianca takes her down with a waistlock. Bodyslam, but Shotzi blocks, and delivers a splash for two. Belair with a frogsplash for two, and she passes to Liv for a dive off the middle for two. That did not look good. Shotzi fights her off long enough to pass to Natalya, and she comes in with a suplex on Morgan for two. Liv fights back with a sunset cradle for two, and they do a pinfall reversal sequence, ending in Morgan missing a charge. That allows Natalya to deliver a seated dropkick for two, but Liv fires back with a sunset cradle for two. Why is this pairing the best thing about the match so far? Tag to Ripley to bash Natalya with a two-alarm no-release short-clothesline, and a headbutt leads to a seated dropkick for two. Nattie fights her off with a German suplex to buy time for a tag to Baszler, and they give Rhea a tandem hanging vertical suplex for two. Baszler goes to work on Ripley, and an inverted gutwrench suplex gets her two. Knee in the corner misses, however, and Ripley turnbuckle smashes her, as Sasha and Shotzi get into a fight in their corner. Ripley tries the Riptide, but Baszler blocks, so Rhea tries a powerbomb instead, but Baszler counters to a cross-armbreaker. She shifts to a sleeper, but Ripley fights to a vertical base, and tries for the Riptide again, but Shotzi comes in to cut it off. That triggers a brawl between the two teams, and Baszler gets another sleeper on, but Ripley breaks free again. Tags to Belair and Banks, and the crowd comes alive for that one. They posture for a bit, until Sasha manages to take her down for the Bank Statement, but Bianca powers to a vertical base. Belair with a fallaway slam, but an attempt at a handspring moonsault gets blocked. That allows Banks a tornado DDT for two, but Belair fires back with a spinebuster for two, as their entire teams continue to play dead on the outside. Belair presses Vega onto Banks for two, and Vega hits a kneesmash in the corner from there. Canadian destroyer, but Banks blocks, and uses the lungblower to set up a tilt-a-whirl cutter from Storm at 14:07. Liv comes in, so Storm tries the cutter on her, but Morgan counters with a backslide for two. Schoolgirl gets two, as does a rollup, so Baszler comes in to try and save. Liv dumps her, however, and a DDT sends Toni packing at 15:14. Baszler comes in to put Liv in a sleeper, but Morgan escapes with a cradle for two. She tries another DDT, but Baszler counters to the sleeper, and ten Shotzi and Sasha take turns splashing Morgan at 16:25. Dust settles on Ripley and Banks, and Sasha slaps her, but Rhea fires back with a brutal looking headbutt. She other really bashed her there, or she’s amazing at making it look good. Ripley with a suplex for two, and a missile dropkick connects, but Banks falls into the Smackdown corner for a tag. That allows Shotzi sliced bread, and Baszler puts Ripley away at 17:55. That leaves Belair alone, and Baszler is quick to pull her into the Smackdown corner before she can distance herself. Natalya tags in, but walks into a hanging vertical suplex for two. Some help from her team allows her a powerbomb, and Sasha tags herself in, but then Shotzi tries to steal it. That leads to another squabble between them, possibly because Shotzi is still jealous over the fact that Sasha still has a last name. So as they argue it out, Banks is counted out at 20:04. And her idiot team actually celebrates her elimination, since no one ‘gets it’ anymore in this promotion. Natalya discus clotheslines Belair to set up the Sharpshooter, but Belair powers free, and cradles at 21:23. Baszler hustles in to try and put it away, and she manages to drill Belair with a knee ahead of a sleeper, but Bianca escapes via dragon facebuster at 22:00. Shotzi comes in with a headscissors tree of woe, but Belair rolls through a flying bodypress attempt. Shotzi fights back with a facebuster, and a straddling ropechoke gets her two. Sliced bread, but Belair blocks her, and the Kiss of Death finishes at 23:45.

Survivor: Bianca Belair

Man, the women are saving the show tonight, aren’t they? ** ¾

 

Main Event: Big E v Roman Reigns: Big E is the WWE Champion, and Roman is the WWE Universal champion, but neither are up for grabs. They size each other up for a while to start, with Reigns stalling a lot. Reigns gets control by pounding on him for an extended period, which is decidedly not interesting, and even the commentators sound bored. Big E fights him off so he can do some pounding of his own, but he misses a splash on the apron, allowing Roman to get control again. More pounding, and an elbowdrop gets him two, so he works a chinlock. He settled into that one so gently that you’d think it was a cuddle. Backelbow gets him two, and a big boot is worth two. Big E fights him off with a belly-to-belly suplex to set up a splash, but a charge runs him right into a Samoan drop for two. Roman unloads in the corner, but Big E manages to catch him with a uranage for two, and he goes for the leg to try a submission, but Roman escapes. That felt really out of nowhere, considering Big E didn’t so much as even swipe at the leg before suddenly going for the kill with a hold. Reigns with a powerbomb for two, but the Superman Punch misses, so he recovers with a uranage for two instead. He lands the Superman on the next try, but Big E growls at him to block the spear (yes, he literally growled at him to block a move), and his own spear knocks Reigns off of the apron. Big E hustles to roll him back in, but Reigns is ready with a spear for two. Maybe he found earplugs while he was on the outside? Guillotine choke time, but Big E railroads him into the corner to block. He tries another spear, but Roman catches him in the guillotine to block. He has it locked in, but Big E powers into the Big Ending to escape, only for Reigns to get into the ropes at two. Roman bails, but Big E is on him for a smash into the announce table, followed by trips into the post and barricade. “Taking it into a higher gear,” note the announcers. Second? Reigns reverses him into the steps and lands a Superman on the floor, before finishing with a spear on the way back in at 21:52. This should have been a lot of fun, instead of the slow, dull, sleepy excuse for a main event it was. ½*

 

BUExperience: Will watching this show kill you? I dunno. But it certainly felt like it was trying.

 

DUD