WWF Prime Time Wrestling (April 28, 1986)

Original Airdate: April 28, 1986

 

Your Hosts are Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan, and Bobby is rocking a full Goodfellas look this week. He’s like Archie Bunker meets Henry Hill. So, basically, Paulie Walnuts

 

Nikolai Volkoff v Tony Garea: From New York City on April 22 1986. Volkoff unloads in the corner right away, as Lord Alfred Hayes notes that he and Garea were celebrating the Queen’s sixtieth birthday the night before by drinking Cokes. Sure. ‘Drinking.’ Volkoff misses a corner charge to allow Tony a cradle for two, and he grabs a standing side-headlock, but Volkoff gets into the ropes. He tries a punch during the break, but Tony blocks him, and delivers an atomic drop for two. Volkoff fights him off, but misses a dive off the middle, and Garea drives a knee into the hamstring. Tony goes after the leg in the corner, but Volkoff fights him off with fists, and Freddie Blassie gets a cheap shot in for good measure. Irish whip backfires when Tony rebounds at him with a right, and a backelbow puts Volkoff down for a kneedrop for two. Sunset flip gets him two, and a backslide is worth two. Cross corner whip works, but the charge in doesn’t, and Volkoff delivers a backbreaker at 6:52. Volkoff looked really bad out there, moving really poorly, but the match was competent. *

 

Back in the studio, Gorilla and Bobby discuss Ernie Ladd, and Gorilla notes that bad knees did his career in, and then gets under Bobby’s skin by reminding him that the same thing will happen to King Kong Bundy before long

 

Jake Roberts v Scott McGhee: From New York City on April 22 1986. Will Ferrell comedies have totally ruined ‘McGhee’ as a surname. Jake takes his time with him, but McGhee gets fired up with a dropkick, and a gutwrench suplex gets him two, so Roberts bails. McGhee gives chase, and delivers a hiptoss on the way back in, setting up a kneedrop for two. McGhee with a stomp to the groin, and a matslam sets up another kneedrop, but Jake dodges it this time. That allows Roberts a short-clothesline, so McGhee tries a rollup, but Jake drops him with the DDT at 4:01. Very slow stuff here. ½*

 

Back in the studio, Gorilla is still taunting Bobby about Bundy, now wondering if Bundy could handle having the snake draped over him like McGhee just did

 

Gene Okerlund catches up with Tito Santana so they can reminisce about his career, and Tito’s still sour about Randy Savage taking the WWF Intercontinental title from him back in February

 

Back in the studio, Bobby is literally laughing at Santana

 

King Tonga v Paul Christy: From New York City on April 22 1986. Gorilla notes that if he were ever accosted in a dark parking lot somewhere, he’d definitely want Tonga on his side. To say the least! Tonga works the arm, but Paul gets an attitude, so Tonga wrecks him in the corner. Paul tries working a headlock, but Tonga won’t even go over for it, and sets him on the top turnbuckle like a child. Paul tries going to the eyes and choking, but that just succeeds is pissing Tonga off, and a superkick drops Christy. Tonga goes up with a flying… something… for the pin at 5:57. Looked like he was going for a kneedrop, then changed his mind half way, and ended up just kind of landing on him with no real direction. Boy, this promotion sure took their time with squash matches in those days, didn’t they? ¼*

 

Back in the studio, Bobby thinks he and Bundy got ripped off at WrestleMania 2 because they weren’t told about the new cage design beforehand. If anything, wouldn’t that style be much easier for that egg shaped fatso to scale?

 

Lanny Poffo v Rene Goulet: From New York City on April 22 1986. “It wouldn’t be an episode of Prime Time without Rene Goulet,” notes Gorilla. I guess there’s a reason I never really watched. Poffo has a poem before the bell, which I didn’t realize was part of his act as a babyface/pre-Genius. Goulet stalls forever before the bell, but then gets schooled by Lanny once they get going. Goulet gets control by working the arm, so Poffo forces a criss cross to speed things up, and a sunset flip gets him two. Rene bails, as Gorilla has a fit about Poffo doing backflips off the top rope as a taunt. He’s got a point, though, it’s unnecessarily risky. I like when announcers bring stuff like that up, it adds to the realism. I wish they still did that today, especially with some of the crazy moves guys do that look like they hurt them as much (or more) than their opponent. Inside, Poffo works a headlock, but Goulet counters to a headscissors, and this guy looks like he’s been going to Sideshow Bob’s barber. Poffo escapes, so Goulet slaps him across the chops, and then stalls. Poffo catches up to him in the corner and unloads, and a cross corner whip flips Rene over the buckles, and Lanny crotches him on the top rope from there. Goulet ends up on the outside, but manages a knee on the way back in, and he delivers a pair of double stomps. Series of right hands set up a springboard kneedrop for two, and a clothesline finds the mark. Goulet grabs a clawhold, but Poffo escapes, only to miss a dropkick. That allows Goulet a somersault cradle for two, and he adds an elbowdrop for two. I’ve known it for twenty years, and I’m still shocked that Lanny is Randy Savage’s brother. Back to the clawhold, but Lanny fights free again, and delivers an atomic drop. Backdrop sets up some mounted punches, and a bodyslam sets up a flying moonsault, but Goulet dodges. Goulet covers for two, but his own trip to the top ends badly when Goulet slams him off! Lanny adds a somersault senton splash, and it’s over at 13:16. Way too long. *

 

In the studio, Gorilla is still worked up about Lanny’s attempts at high risk moves, and notes that he’d better tone it down, or he’ll wind up with a career ending injury sooner than later. I can only imagine what Gorilla’s take on modern wrestling would be

 

Two-out-of-Three Falls Match: Mr. Fuji and Professor Toru Tanaka v Jose Gonzales and Lenny Hurst: From New York City on August 1 1977. We’re joined in progress here, with the babyfaces making a comeback, and cleaning house. The crowd is insanely hot for this. Tanaka fights Gonzales off long enough to jab in the throat for two, and he passes to Fuji to work a nervehold. He really is every bit Yokozuna’s manager, isn’t he? Gonzales escapes, so Fuji uses a hangman’s clothesline for the pin at 2:24 shown. Why is the referee for this a seventy year old man? And is that why we need a three hour break after the fall? The heels continue to work over a dazed Gonzales as the match gets going, but Tanaka telegraphs a backdrop, and Hurst gets the tag. He comes in hot on both heels, but Tanaka fights him off, and uses a series of rights to send Lenny to the outside. Back in, Tanaka chokes him down with a cobra clutch, and scores the pin at 5:23 shown. I’m not sure how much was cut out of this one, but what was left isn’t really worth your time.

 

Gorilla wonders if, perhaps, Tanaka will come back to the WWF again any day now. I wonder why they never brought him in as a manager? Maybe he was too physically imposing, compared to the smaller Fuji?

 

Sivi Afi v Iron Mike Sharpe: From New York City on April 22 1986. Sharpe tries pounding him into the corner to start, but misses a forearm against the turnbuckle, right on the bad arm. Well, it’s never going to heal now! An extremely sloppy and mistimed criss cross ends in Mike holding a hammerlock, but Afi escapes with a rollup for two, and a pair of dropkicks send Sharpe to the outside. Inside, Afi throws more dropkicks, but Sharpe is able to dodge one, and the tide is turned. Mike with a cross corner whip, but a clothesline misses, and Afi fires off a bodypress for two. Sharpe gets control with a bearhug, and sinks his teeth into that for a while, but Afi rings his bell to escape. He adds a series of turnbuckle smashes, but a corner splash misses, and Mike backelbows him to set up an elbowdrop. Second one misses, and Afi makes a comeback, before missing an elbowdrop of his own. Way too much of this match is hinging on elbows. Oh, but Afi is so fired up that not even that can derail his comeback! Splash off the middle misses, allowing Mike a takedown for two, but Afi is STILL fired up, and reignites his comeback again! He must be on the really good stuff tonight! Headbutt drop to the groin gets him two, and a bodyslam sets up a pump-splash for two. Backdrop, but Sharpe is able to block with a knee. He dumps Afi over the top, but Afi skins-the-cat to block, and they both end up out there for a brawl. Afi gets the better of it, and Mike is counted out at 13:51. Sharpe did a good job selling throughout, but the match was nothing special, and ran too long. ¾*

 

Back in the studio, Heenan complains about the poor officiating in the last bout, and I’m quite shocked that Gorilla doesn’t even pile on! That must have taken every bit of his restraint

 

Okerlund catches up with Jimmy Hart, who has brought his underwear in with him for the occasion. Also Adrian Adonis and Hoss Funk

 

In the studio, Heenan compares Corporal Kirchner to the Boy Scouts, since they all wear uniforms, so it’s all the same. Hard to argue with that kind of logic

 

Iron Sheik v Corporal Kirchner: From New York City on April 22 1986. Sheik attacks as Kirchner climbs into the ring, and nails him with a clothesline, then chokes him down. Sheik with a backdrop, but Kirchner comes back with a bodyslam, and he adds an elbowdrop. Kirchner drags Sheik into the corner to crotch on the post, and a headbutt rattles him for a vertical suplex for two. Gutwrench suplex gets two, but Kirchner misses a dropkick, and Sheik delivers his own gutwrench suplex for two. I always loved Sheik’s take on that move, it looked great. Sheik works an abdominal stretch next, but Kirchner escapes via hiptoss, and adds a kneedrop. Elbowdrop isn’t so lucky for him, however, and Sheik tries a backdrop, but Kirchner counters with a sunset flip for two. Sheik tries the backdrop again, but Kirchner boots him in the face to block, so Sheik tries begging off instead. He dumps Kirchner to the outside when Kirchner takes the bait, and Nikolai Volkoff is waiting to clobber him - only for the referee to see it, and call for the DQ at 5:31. ½*

 

Back in the studio, Gorilla apparently can’t contain himself any longer, and has to rip into the refereeing. We knew it was only a matter of time

 

BUExperience: I didn’t love this. I know this is kind of what Prime Time was all about, but man, fifteen minute house show matches from the likes of Rene Goulet and Sivi Afi is not a very good watch.