NWA (JCP) World Championship Wrestling (November 16, 1985)

Original Airdate: November 16, 1985 (taped November 10)

From Atlanta, Georgia; Your Hosts are Tony Schiavone and David Crockett

NWA World and Six-Man Tag Team champions Ivan Koloff, Nikita Koloff, and Krusher Kruschev stop by the desk, promising to literally kill the Rock ‘n’ Roll Express at Starrcade. They were in the wrong era. Five years later, WCW was promoting actual ‘capital punishment’ matches

Jimmy Valiant v Tony Zane: This match starts at exactly four minutes and twenty seconds into the show, which is fitting since Valiant looks like he’s on all of the drugs. He makes quick work of Zane this week, finishing with an elbowdrop at 0:55. DUD

Jim Cornette stops by the desk for our weekly dose of political correctness. Man, even for 1985 he’s something

Billy Jack Haynes v Gerald Finley: I can’t decide what makes Haynes a bigger dork: having ‘NWA’ on his boots, or ‘Oregon’ on his tights. Haynes, Mr. Excitement himself, sinks his teeth into a bearhug right away, and holds on to that for a while. Really making the most of his TV time, that one. Full-nelson finishes at 3:29. ¼*

Krusher Kruschev v Larry Clarke: That version of the tag belts was never my favorite, but it definitely had its charm. The ones that came after were much better, however, as was the first WCW specific version that followed. Kruschev with a Russian Sickle to end this lengthy squash at 4:02. DUD

Ron Bass stops by the desk to hype up his Bullrope match with Black Bart at Starrcade, which ended up being a terrible, negative-star affair

Jimmy Valiant is back from… doing whatever it is he does when he isn’t out here… and he’s very excited about getting to spend some quality time with Big Mama and Miss Atlanta Lively

Ron Bass v Paul Garner: Why does everyone doing the cowboy gimmick look exactly the same? I don’t just mean the hat, or whatever, I mean they literally look exactly the same.  Bass with a clawhold at 4:26. This felt endless, with Bass just working a headlock for what felt like an eternity. DUD

NWA World Champion Ric Flair comes out to humblebrag. Minus the humble part

Barbarian v George South: Barbarian’s face paint was full Muta at this point, and I think he actually looked more intimidating with less paint. One of the few guys that’s ever been true of. Paul Jones with the mark of some good heeling, as he takes cheap shots at South despite Barbarian having firm control of the contest, and not needing the help at all. Barbarian with a flying headbutt drop at 3:34. ¼*

Six-Man Tag Team Match: Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, and Ole Anderson v Terry Taylor, Ron Garvin, and Pez Whatley: Ole and Pez start, and Ole immediately pulls him into the heel corner to tag to Arn. Arn tries a waistlock, but Pez dumps him to the outside to shake off a takedown attempt, and he shrugs Ole off when Ole tries coming in sans tag. Pez knocks Arn back to the outside with a pair of dropkicks, so he passes to Flair, but Pez reverses a wristlock on him, and passes to Ron. Flair comes at him with chops, but Ron responds in kind, and gets the better of it. Corner whip rebounds Ric into a backdrop, and Flair begs off. Garvin and Whatley wishbone the world champion, but Flair manages to whip Pez into a the Andersons, and Whatley ends up on the outside. Ric with a big chop on the way back in, and he passes to Ole, but Anderson fails to cut the ring in half. That allows a tag to Taylor, so Flair comes in to try a double team, but Whatley cuts him off. The babyfaces hold off some illegal moves, and the dust settles on Garvin pounding Flair again. Ric manages a drop-toehold to buy time for a tag to Ole, and the heels gang up on Garvin in their home corner. They cut the ring in half on Garvin, until Flair makes the mistake of going upstairs, and Ron slams him off. That allows the tag to Terry, and a backdrop on Arn gets two. Arn manages to dodge a dropkick, however, and he passes back to Ole to blast Taylor with a backelbow. Backdrop, but Taylor blocks, so Flair comes in to cut off a tag. He takes Terry into the corner for chops, but loses a criss cross when Taylor hooks a rollup for two. Arn cuts off the tag, however, and Flair bodyslams him on the floor to do some real damage. Inside, a kneedrop misses, allowing Terry to put him in a figure four, but Ole saves. Tag to Arn, but he misses a pointed elbowdrop, and Pez gets the tag - Roseanne Barr the door! Flair manages to trip a fired up Whatley up when he’s running the ropes, allowing Arn to cover - the referee counting three at 13:10 while Ric holds Pez’s leg from the outside! This was consistently good wrestling, with great babyface fire throughout, and energetic work from the heels. *** ¼ 

NWA United States Champion Tully Blanchard stops by the desk to put over the win for Flair and the Andersons, and he calls Magnum TA out for having rust on his motorcycle. Ooh, thems fighting words

Dusty Rhodes comes out, and apparently all he can think about while lying around in bed is Ric Flair. Whatever works. Dusty gets a good line in here, saying that he’s going to put Flair in the hospital for so long that Ric will run out of money. So, for like, what, two days?

The Road Warriors v Jim Jeffers and Mac Jeffers: Did Animal and Barbarian get a bulk price on that face paint, or something? Couldn’t they at least paint a different pattern? The Warriors hit the ring with fire to clean house,  and just brutalize these two jobbers, with both Mac and Jim doing a great job of selling for them. Animal with a big clothesline at 3:00. Fun squash, with the Warriors really feeling their oats, and having fun with it out there. ¾*

Tony brings Flair and the Andersons out, and they want Dusty to quit singing it, and start bringing it

Tully Blanchard v Jim Backlund: Tully’s NWA United States title is not on the line. Blanchard is good and angry this week, and he tosses Backlund around with gusto. Slingshot suplex finishes at 2:12. ¼*

The Road Warrior swing by, sharing that they don’t have any friends. Things just got really heavy here

Magnum TA v Joe Malcolm: Magnum wastes no time this week, delivering a dropkick and the belly-to-belly suplex at 0:25. Clearly that rust crack got to him. Afterwards, Magnum stops by the desk to threaten Tully some more. Where was he ten minutes ago? DUD 

Barbarian and Paul Jones come out, and Jones may do some good heeling out at the ring, but his mouth missed class

Ivan Koloff and Nikita Koloff v Rocky King and Adrian Bivens: The Koloff’s NWA World Tag Team title is not at stake here. The Russians want to hang the Soviet flag over the American one in the studio, but that goes nowhere. The announcers beg us not to try what we see at home, but rather get into amateur wrestling if we feel we need to mix it up. That warning would probably be better placed in a match that doesn’t feature two hundred simple clotheslines, I’d think. And one finishes Adrian off at 5:00. This was kind of a messy squash, but it made its point. DUD

Flair, Blanchard, and the Andersons come out to do some last minute trash talking, but Dusty and Magnum show up to respond in person. The heels are game to take them on since the numbers are in their favor, but the Road Warriors return to even the odds, and the heels bail to close the show

BUExperience: They’ve got some incredible characters, and some great angles, but the squash match format is a lot to take for two hours at a time. Luckily, they had a really fun six-man this week, which is definitely worth checking out if you haven’t seen it.