ECW Eastern Championship Wrestling (August 31, 1993)

Original Airdate: August 31, 1993 (taped August 7)

From Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; Your Hosts are Jay Sulli and Eddie Gilbert in the studio. Gilbert is wearing a Beavis and Butthead t-shirt, and does impressions of them, since 1993. He brings Jay a bottle of Crown Royal, which is hopefully a parting gift for this goof

Stan Hansen opens the show, clarifying that no matter how drunk or stupid he is, he won’t forget the date of UltraClash I, because Terry Funk will surely call him up and remind him 

Sal Bellomo stands for the USA. While dressed like a Roman gladiator. Meanwhile, the Koloffs are still from the Soviet Union, despite it being 1993

ECW Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinal Match: Ivan Koloff and Vladimir Koloff v Sandman and Salvatore Bellomo: Ivan and Bellomo start, as Paul E. Dangerously calls Sulli an idiot for not knowing that the USSR isn’t a thing anymore. Sal dominates Ivan, so both guys tag out, and Vladimir has better luck with Sandman. The Russians cut the ring in half on Sandman, and I notice that the camera man has a t-shirt that reads ‘Cito Sucks.’ I have no idea what ‘cito’ is, but how bush-league and unprofessional can you be? Vladimir hits Sandman with a belly-to-belly suplex to go for the pin, but Bellomo whacks him with a boot, and puts Sandman on top at 3:39. DUD

Tod Gordon brings out the six participants in the $5,000 Battle Royal set for UltraClash I. Trying to convince us that this promotion even has $5,000 to give away is the biggest breach of kayfabe in history. We’ve got: Miss Peaches, Hunter Q. Robinson III, Tigra, Angel, Freddie Gilbert, and Sherri Martel. Freddie tries to give Sherri flowers, but that earns him an earful from Angel, and she drags Freddie away from the ring. Also, all the other participants have left, though for no discernible reason, so we just get a promo from Sherri to wrap the segment up

Back in the studio, the random homeless dude from last week is back, and he’s bringing Sulli donuts. He’d be welcome with me

ECW Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinal Match: Eddie Gilbert and Dark Patriot v The Super Destroyers: We’re joined in progress (looks like the match just started), with Patriot hitting a DDT on Destroyer II for two, and a clothesline follows. Over to Gilbert for a turnbuckle smash, but it gets reversed, and Destroyer II tags out.  Destroyer I hits Eddie with a loaded mask, and a running powerslam finds the mark, so Shane Douglas distracts the referee to prevent a count. That allows Hunter Robbins to pass Destroyer II something, and Destroyer II turns on Destroyer I to allow Eddie the pin at 1:56 shown. No rating, but what was shown was nyet good

The Headhunters v Miguel Perez Jr and Mr. Danger: They spill to the outside for a brawl right away, and the Hunters give Danger a powerbomb for two. Perez does a bladejob to put the Hunters over, but a trip to the top ends in Miguel superplexing him off. Perez adds a flying dropkick to knock him to the outside, and he dives after him with a plancha. Perez unloads with a chair out there to bust him open as well, and Danger dropkicks him as they go back inside. Perez tries a flying twisting somersault senton splash, but it misses, and the Hunter dives with a flying moonsault. That draws Danger in to cradle the other Hunter, and the referee counts both pinfalls simultaneously - the bout ruled a draw at 4:58. Terrible finish, but these guys were working and bumping way too hard for this promotion/show. ¾*

Tito Santana and Stan Hansen v Don Muraco and Shane Douglas: This was taped the following day, August 8 1993, also in Philadelphia. Stan and Shane start, and Hansen takes him to school. Over to Tito for stereo backelbows for two, but Shane manages to pass to Muraco before the assault can continue. Don manages to get control with a nervehold, and the heels cut the ring in half on Tito. Tito reverses a suplex on Shane to allow the tag to Hansen, and Roseanne Barr the door! The top rope snaps off as they brawl, and Hot Stuff International run in on the babyfaces for a DQ at 6:36. Eddie tries to throw a fireball at Stan, but Hansen ducks it, and it hits Patriot instead. ¼*

BUExperience: Why do I torture myself with this show?