WWE Crown Jewel (November 2022)

Original Airdate: November 5, 2022

From Riyadh, Riyadh Province, Saudi Arabia; Your Hosts are Michael Cole and Wade Barrett

Opening Match: Brock Lesnar v Bobby Lashley: Lashley attacks on the outside before the bell, knocking Brock into the steps to injure his leg right away. Lashley with a spear as they head inside to officially start the match, so Lesnar bails, but Bobby follows to spear him through the barricade out there. Back in again for another spear, and he covers for two this time. Full nelson, but Brock counters with a German suplex, and then adds a few more. F5 gets F2, and Lashley blocks a second one, dumping Lesnar over the top. Lashley follows to bash Brock into the post out there, but Brock blocks another spear on the way back in, so Lashley chokeslams him instead. Full nelson looks to finish, but Brock kicks off the ropes into a (sloppy) cradle at 5:59 (6:17 total). This felt really long for a six minute match. DUD

WWE Women's Tag Team Title Match: Alexa Bliss and Asuka v Dakota Kai and Iyo Sky: Bliss and Kai start, and they trade wristlocks. Alexa tries a tornado DDT out of the corner, but Kai blocks, so Bliss hooks a cradle for two. A series of cradles get the champion a series of two counts, and Bliss continues frustrating her with a drop-toehold. Tag to Sky for a bodyslam, but Bliss blocks, and passes to Asuka. They feel each other out a bit, dominated by Asuka. Back to Alexa for a tandem suplex, but Sky lands on her feet to block, so Asuka bulldogs her instead for two. Tag to Kai, but Bliss is ready for her with a dropkick, and the champs clean house. That allows them to hit stereo hip attacks and stereo baseball slides, and the dust settles on Asuka and Kai. Cheap shot from Sky allows Kai to knock Asuka over the top, but the champ beats the count, and the heels work her over. Asuka fights off a double team long enough for the hot tag to Bliss, and Roseanne Barr the door! Bliss plants Kai with a tornado DDT for two, but Sky gives her a butterfly backbreaker before she can continue. Sky tries going upstairs, but Alexa hits her with a Canadian destroyer for two. Bliss goes upstairs, but the challengers head over for a tandem superplex - only for Asuka to rush over for a tower of doom spot. Cliche, you hear me calling? Twisted Bliss looks to finish Kai, but Dakota lifts her knees to block. Bliss manages a DDT instead, so Nikki Cross runs into beat up Bliss. That allows Kai to cover, and we have new champions at 12:50. *

Cage Match: Drew McIntyre v Karrion Kross: Kross dominates for a while, until Drew drops him with a neckbreaker, and a scoop sitout brainbuster gets him two. Drew with a chop in the corner, and he superplexes him, but Kross comes back with a knee for two. Kross climbs for the escape, but Drew cuts him off, and superplexes him back in. Drew goes for the door, so Scarlett pepper sprays him, and Drew falls back, blinded. Kross crawls for the open door, but Drew manages to grab him in an anklelock to cut the escape off. Drew lands a Claymore kick, so Scarlett padlocks the door shut, apparently unaware that there isn’t a roof on the cage. Luckily for Drew, he does have eyes, and just climbs out at 13:00. It’s probably already pretty obvious by my level of play-by-play, but I was really bored with this one. ¼*

Six-Man Tag Team Match: AJ Styles, Luke Gallows, and Karl Anderson v Finn Balor, Damian Priest, and Dominik Mysterio: Karl and Finn start, and they trade waistlocks, looking for a takedown. It turns into slugging, and a criss cross is won by Anderson. Tags to Gallows and Priest, and they do some measuring. Tags to AJ and Dom, and Styles dominates the youngster. The babyfaces work Mysterio over in their corner, until the kid manages to bail, and Priest nails Karl when Anderson tries to chase. Inside, that gets Mysterio a two count, and the heels go to work on Anderson. Karl manages to catch Priest with a neckbreaker, but Balor pulls AJ off of the apron to prevent the tag. Karl still manages a spinebuster to fight off Priest again, and this time Luke is able to get the tag! Styles Clash looks to put Balor away, but Finn blocks, and gets AJ in a figure four. Karl saves, and everyone trades off with signature moves - ending in Balor taking him down for two. AJ goes for the Phenomenal forearm, but Rhea Ripley trips him up, and Balor is able to deliver a flying double stomp at 14:00. Whoever is giving the ‘go home’ signals on this show is on point! ¾*

Braun Strowman v Omos: See now, and try to follow me here: both guys are really big. They do a test-of-strength to start, and Omos has his number. Omos with a cross corner whip, and an avalanche follows, between mountains of trash talking from both guys. Omos with a big boot, and he works Braun over with punch/kick stuff. To the outside, Braun tries a charge, but gets clobbered, and Omos works a choke on the way inside. Corner charge misses, however, and Braun busts out a front-powerslam at 7:17. This was unbelievably dull. DUD

WWE Undisputed Tag Team Title Match: The Usos v Ridge Holland and Butch: Jimmy Uso and Butch start, and Butch manages a schoolboy for two right away. German suplex follows, so Jimmy bails, and regroups. The Usos decide to walk, but Butch attacks before they can get away from ringside, and he brings Jimmy in to work the arm. The Usos manage to turn the tide and go to work on Butch, until Holland catches a tag, and Ridge comes in with some power stuff. Brawl breaks out, and Roseanne Barr the door, we’ve got a kettle on. Combos, combos, combos, and Butch gets pinned at 10:47. ¾*

WWE RAW Women's Title Last Woman Standing Match: Bianca Belair v Bayley: Belair dominates early on, so Bayley grabs a kendo stick, but can’t get anywhere with it. She grabs a chair, but Belair dodges that as well, and then dropkicks it back at the challenger. Bayley goes for a ladder next, so Belair hits her with a plancha to cut that off, but an attempt to drop Bayley onto the steps gets blocked. Bayley sends her into the barricade, and she adds a vertical suplex on the floor. Bayley dives off of the rail with a clothesline, but Belair manages a suplex in the aisle, but the challenger beats the count. Bayley hits her with a piece of the rail before taking it back inside, where the challenger cracks her with a chair. She finds the failed kendo stick from earlier to beat on the champion with, and a brawl onto the entrance stage ends in Bayley hitting a belly-to-belly suplex. That leaves both women taking the count, and Bayley is up first, but Belair follows. Bayley takes her down in a crippler crossface, and Belair fades, but beats the count. Bayley responds by driving a golf cart at her, but that goes nowhere. They fight onto the roof of the cart, and Bayley ends up going through a table as they head back down to ringside. She beats the count, so Belair traps her in between the sides of a ladder, and that gets her a cheap win at 20:26. I didn’t get into the drama of this one at all, and I thought the finish was really cheap, with Belair basically tricking her way to a win against a still very vibrant Bayley, instead of beating her challenger so badly that she simply can’t continue. ½*

Main Event: WWE Title and WWE Universal Title Match: Roman Reigns v Logan Paul: Posturing to start, with the champion trying to intimidate him. Reigns dominates the match, and he gets Paul in a chinlock at center ring, but Logan refuses to lose. Reigns responds by taking him into the corner for a pummeling, and a clothesline gets the champion two. Roman goes back to the chinlock, but Paul fights free with a gutwrench suplex, and he makes a comeback. 2nd rope somersault neckbreaker gets him two, and he pops Roman with a jumping forearm. To the top with a flying bodypress, and a standing moonsault follows for two. Superkick, but Reigns counters with a uranage for two. They spill to the outside, where Reigns ends up sprawled on the announce table, and Paul dives with a flying splash to drive him through it - all while holding a smartphone to take a selfie with! Paul got some serious height and serious distance on that one. The Usos show up, so Jake Paul comes out to back him up (complete with music and graphics, despite not even being part of the promotion), and Jake chases them off. Logan rolls Roman in to finish with a flying frogsplash, but it only gets two. That draws Solo Sikoa out, so Logan does a dive to the outside to help Jake from getting cornered - only to eat a Superman punch from a recovering Reigns. Spear finishes at 24:47. I’m not sure I understand (let alone ‘like’) booking a rookie to hang with a dominant world beater like Reigns for twenty five minutes, but the match felt big, and that’s at least something. *

BUExperience: Why do I bother with modern wrestling? I mean, it’s clear I don’t get any real enjoyment out of it, and haven’t in forever. The new shows do good numbers, but it’s not like I’m not chasing pageviews, or trying to build an audience. I basically just watch this for me, and this is definitely not for me. Life is not easy when you’re an obsessive. 

DUD