Monday, December 12, 2022

WWE WrestleMania XXVII (April 2011)

Original Airdate: April 3, 2011


From Atlanta, Georgia; Your Hosts are Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, and Jerry Lawler


Rock acts as the guest host, right on the cusp of becoming one of the biggest movie stars on the planet


Opening World Heavyweight Title Match: Edge v Alberto Del Rio: Del Rio pounds him down early on, but ends up getting backdropped over the top. To the outside, Edge gets reversed into the steps, and Del Rio covers him for two on the way back in. Del Rio works an armbar, but Edge dumps him to the outside again to buy time, and the champion dives after him with a somersault plancha. He didn’t really make that one look too good. Del Rio manages a suplex on the way back in, but Edge fights back with a spinheel kick, and adds a big boot before Alberto can cut him off again. Edge with a flapjack for two, but Del Rio fights back again with a kneeling armbreaker. He goes for a follow-up, but the champ counters with the Edge-o-Matic. Rollup, but Del Rio reverses, and shifts it into a cross-armbreaker - only for Edge to make the ropes. Edge fights him off, and the champ goes upstairs, but Del Rio knocks him off with an enzuigiri for two. Edge with a schoolboy for two, and an implant DDT follows. Spear, but Del Rio gets out of the way, and gets the armbreaker back on! Edge shifts into a cradle for two, and uses the momentum to shift into his reverse sharpshooter. Brodus Clay tries helping Del Rio into the ropes, but Christian takes him out, and Edge spears him at 11:07. This ended up being the end of Edge’s career until 2020 (though he worked a ten-man tag dark match two days later, before stepping away). Solid match, and a good way to open, with the crowd hot throughout. **


Rey Mysterio v Cody Rhodes: Rhodes is dressed like WALTER before Austria discovered Burger King tonight. Rey tries a charge, but Rhodes backdrops him over the top, so Rey lands on the apron, and dives back in on him. Rey peppers him with shots, but Rhodes manages a clothesline to cut him off, and Cody goes right for the bad knee. Rey fights him off, so Rhodes cross corner whips him, and softens him up in the corner some. Rhodes with a springboard kick for two, and he works a reverse chinlock from there. Is that Charlotte Flair in the first row, opposite the hard camera? Rhodes with a whiplash for two, and a really cool hanging vertical superplex follows. I haven’t seen that before, and it’s awesome. It only gets two, however. To the outside, Rey manages to use a headscissors to send him into the apron, and Mysterio delivers a flying seated senton on the way back inside. Bridging cradle gets him two, but Rhodes blocks the 619, and uses a catapult under the middle rope for two. Rhodes goes for the knee again, so Rey dives at him with a flying moonsault press for two, and the 619 connects now. Rey goes up for a flying splash, but Rhodes blocks, so Rey kicks him in the head instead for two. Rey steals Cody’s protective mask, and he delivers a few jumping headbutts with it, followed by a flying headbutt drop for two. Rhodes bails, so Rey tries a tope, but Cody blocks. Inside, the Cross Rhodes finishes at 11:56. Not a bad match by any means, but just felt like it never found a groove. * ¼ 


Eight-Man Tag Team Match: Big Show, Kane, Kofi Kingston, and Santino Marella v Wade Barrett, Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, and Ezekiel Jackson: Santino and Slater start, and Marella misses a bicycle kick right away, allowing Heath to pound on him. Over to Show, and he has a much easier time with Slater. Chokeslam, but Jackson comes in to block on Heath’s behalf, triggering a sequence where everyone comes in with signature spots. That all ends in Show knocking Slater cold with a punch for the pin at 1:32. DUD


Randy Orton v CM Punk: The New Nexus are barred from ringside for this one. Orton takes him down for mounted punches right away, and a lariat levels Punk. Clothesline sends CM over the top, but a whip into the steps out there is blocked, and Punk kicks the steps into Randy’s knee. Punk with a flying bodypress for two on the way back inside, so Orton tries fighting him off with an inverted headlock backbreaker, but the leg slows down a follow up, and Punk clobbers him to keep control. Punk works a tree of woe, but an attempt at a flying axehandle ends in Punk getting crotched on the top turnbuckle. Orton vertical superplexes him off for two, and a pair of clotheslines lead to a snap powerslam. More mounted punches, and an Olympic slam gets him two. Punk fights back with the anaconda vice, but Randy gets into the ropes. Orton drops him with a rope-hung DDT, and it’s RKO time, but Orton backs off. He wants the punt instead, but Punk swipes at the bad leg to block. He goes up for a dive, but lands in the RKO at 14:43. Not bad, compared to watching paint dry. ½*


The Hall of Fame Class of 2011 (Shawn Michaels, Abdullah the Butcher, Sunny, The Road Warriors, Bob Armstrong, Jim Duggan, and Drew Carey) come out to take a bow. Pretty good class, though I can’t remember a single thing about the actual ceremony 


Jerry Lawler v Michael Cole: Steve Austin acts as the special guest referee for this one, and both Jim Ross and Booker T fill in for Cole and Lawler on commentary. Stunningly, this is Lawler’s first ever WrestleMania match, despite being in the promotion since 1993. Cole refuses to get in, saying that he needs more ‘warm up time,’ but Austin isn’t having any of that, and rings the bell, then tells Lawler to go and drag him in if he has to. Jerry takes out Cole’s backup (Jack Swagger), so Michael gets on his knees, begging to call the match off. Lawler responds by bashing Michael’s head into the wall of his cubicle (Cole had been calling the show from his own plexiglass cubicle, so as to sit apart from the rest of the announcers), and here we go! Swagger manages to nail Lawler as they head inside, allowing Cole a baseball slide, and Jack puts the King in an anklelock on the floor. Inside, Cole works on the leg, and a pump-splash gets Michael two, as they completely lose the crowd. Cole pulls down his strap to mock Lawler ahead of putting him in an anklelock, but the King manages to escape. That allows Jerry to put the boots to him, so Swagger throws the towel in on Michael’s behalf, but Austin refuses to accept the surrender. Swagger gets in Steve’s face, and you can guess what happens next. So, with that shenanigans out of the way, Cole decides to beg and plead with Austin to end the match. That doesn’t go well, and the King unloads on Michael with a series of punches. Lawler with a standing dropkick to set up a 2nd rope fistdrop, but King pulls him up at two. Luckily, they’ve managed to get the crowd back into it here. Jerry with an anklelock, and Cole openly taps, but Austin isn’t in the mood to accept it. He taunts Cole for a bit, dragging it out as Michael screams in pain, before finally calling for the bell at 13:45. But then, afterwards, the Anonymous RAW General Manager chimes in, reversing the decision. So Cole wins by DQ. This should have been much, much shorter. They had enough interesting stuff, and enough smoke and mirrors, to make an six minute match work, but not a fourteen minute one. And there was absolutely no reason for a screwy finish. It’s a blowoff match between two announcers on the biggest show of the year. What are you waiting for? -¼*


No Holds Barred Match: Undertaker v Triple H: Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler take over on commentary for the rest of the show, and things immediately perk up. Slugfest to start, initially controlled by HHH, but ending in Undertaker dumping him over the top. Undertaker follows for another slugfest on the outside, and HHH eats the steps to end this one. Undertaker preps an announce table, but takes too long, and gets sent through Cole’s cubicle. HHH tries a Pedigree on the announce table, but gets backdropped on the floor instead, and this thing is kinda dragging here, with very slow action. Undertaker with a suicide dive on the floor, and man, that one almost went La Parka on them. Undertaker tries a tombstone off of the steps, but HHH blocks, so Undertaker tries a charge, but Hunter is ready with a rotating spinebuster through an announce table. Inside, Undertaker manages a chokeslam for two, but Hunter blocks the Last Ride. HHH with a ten-punch in the corner, so Undertaker tries countering to the Last Ride, but HHH blocks. That leads to a reversal sequence, ending in HHH delivering another rotating spinebuster for two. HHH grabs a chair, but Undertaker knocks it away from him with a big boot, and blasts him across the back with the weapon. One to the head, but HHH blocks, and delivers a Pedigree for two. Superplex, but Undertaker counters with the Ride for two. Tombstone only gets two, so Undertaker tries a second one on a chair, but HHH counters with a DDT onto the steel. Both guys stagger up, and HHH strikes first with a Pedigree for two. Another Pedigree gets another two, so HHH unloads with the chair, but Undertaker refuses to stay down. In a reversal of last year, Undertaker staggers up, refusing to die, so HHH gives him the throat slashing motion, and delivers a tombstone of his own for two. That was a great sequence, and the crowd bought into it big time. It even draws a ‘this is awesome’ chant, in the days before those seemed to happen in every match. HHH responds by grabbing a sledgehammer, but Undertaker counters a shot into the Hell’s Gate! HHH tries using the hammer to break himself free, but he’s too woozy, and can’t grip it properly. Undertaker digs in with the hold, and Hunter taps at 29:21. Far too long, unnecessarily long. It’s clear that they were trying to recapture the magic of the two Shawn Michaels matches, and while this was okay, it felt forced to a degree, and certainly nowhere near that level. What I really didn’t like about this one is that they were selling like they’d been out there for twenty grueling minutes within the first five, and that the match settled into the signature move/nearfall, signature move/reversal stuff, with little originality to show. Again, this wasn’t a bad match, but like a lot of things with HHH, it felt like the work of a man with a severe inferiority complex. I liked their match from ten years prior - which was far looser, and felt organic - far more. ** (Original rating: ** ¾)


Six-Person Tag Team Match: Dolph Ziggler, Michelle McCool, and Layla v John Morrison, Trish Stratus, and Nicole Snooki Polizzi: Weird to think Trish was just 35 at this point, and already long retired. The heels attack before the bell, and we get a pullapart, ending in Snooki paintbrushing Ziggler. The dust settles on McCool and Stratus, and Trish dominates with chops. Facebuster follows, and man, the crowd is gone here. Trish with the handstand rana, but Michelle blocks, and both women end up going tumbling out to the floor. Layla runs over to back her partner up, but Trish takes both of them out, and a schoolboy gets her two on the way back in. Roundhouse kick gets another two, so Ziggler comes in, but Morrison cuts him off. Tag to Snooki, and now the crowd comes to life to boo her out of the state. Snooki with a handspring backelbow on McCool, and a splash finishes at 3:57. Wow, Snooki’s performance here was nothing, even by celebrity standards. Two moves?! DUD


Main Event: WWE Title Match: Miz v John Cena: Cena gets a big entrance, complete with a choir playing him out. That was really well done, in that it was both bigger than a normal entrance, while still remaining somewhat understated. Feeling out process to start, dominated by the challenger. They trade some two counts, but the crowd isn’t getting invested, since no one is buying any of that as meaningful after years of conditioning the audience to expect tons of finishers and reversals. Cena dodges a corner charge, and dives with a flying rocker dropper for two, but then misses a corner charge of his own. Miz with a kick for two, and some punches for two. Cena makes a comeback, but Miz blocks the Attitude Adjustment, and drops him with a DDT for two. Miz with a neckbreaker for two, so Cena finds an inside cradle for two, but Miz blocks the AA again. Cena traps him in an STF instead, but Miz escapes, and Cena eats an exposed turnbuckle to set up the Russian facebuster for two. He tries a second one, but Cena blocks, and the referee gets bumped in the process. That allows Cena the AA, but there’s no one to count. That allows Alex Riley to come in, and he blasts John with a metal briefcase to give Miz a dramatic two count. He goes for the case again, but Cena counters with another AA for two, and the crowd is alive now, at least. They spill to the outside, and take a bump into the front row, giving us a double countout in the main event of WrestleMania at 14:43. The crowd rightly shits all over that one (or, more accurately, just kind of let out a bunch of disbelieving groans), but here’s Rock to save the day. That finish deflated the crowd so badly that they don’t even really pop for him. So Rock looks for a microphone, when suddenly the RAW GM chimes in. Rock goes to read his message, but decides he’d rather not. He breaks the laptop, and makes the call to restart the match himself - and add a no DQ, no countout, and no time limit stipulation. Both guys come back inside, and Cena sets up for another AA, but Rock stops it by dropping the challenger with a Rock Bottom! That allows Miz to cover, and he gets the pinfall at 15:16 (19:41 total). Oh man, that was somehow almost an even more disappointing finish than the double countout! This was really weak, as they finally got the crowd into it, and then killed them with that dumb double countout/restart/screwjob finish. This was monumentally stupid booking, but at least it was going somewhere. Afterwards, Rock beats up Miz as well, so he can stand tall, while the two full timers main eventing the show play his bitches. ¼*


BUExperience: This show didn’t feel like a drag to watch, but man, there’s just very little to get behind here. 


*

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