WWF Superstars (January 5, 1997)

 

Original Airdate: January 5, 1997 (taped December 17, 1996)

From Daytona Beach, Florida; Your Hosts are Jim Ross and Jim Cornette

Doug Furnas and Philip LaFon v Pierroth and Cibernetico: Mil Mascaras sits in on commentary here. Really. Furnas and Pierroth start, and Pierroth ends up on the outside in short order. Tag to Cibernetico, and Furnas catches him with a dropkick. Tag to LaFon, and he takes Cibernetico down with an armdrag, then delivers a savate kick. Meanwhile, Mil sounds like he’s doing commentary on golf here. Gosh, this whole AAA deal was doomed from the get-go. LaFon holds Pierroth in a headlock for a bit, and he passes to Furnas, leading to Pierroth blowing a combo for them. I don’t know if there was a language barrier there, or what, but it looked terrible. The heels get control on Furnas, and they cut the ring in half, but Cibernetico gets suplexed, and LaFon gets the tag - Roseanne Barr the door! LaFon with Saito suplex on Cibernetico for two, but Cibernetico shoves the referee into the path of a 2nd rope bodypress from LaFon, and the official disqualifies the Mexican team over it at 4:38. This was brutal. Afterwards, Pierroth grabs a mic, and cuts a promo on Mascaras. In Spanish. DUD

Flash Funk v Salvatore Sincere: I don’t know who this ring announcer is, but he sounds like the guy who was doing ECW shows in 1993. That’s not a positive comparison. Funk’s entrance is way, way too long. Flash gives him a lot of shine here, before finishing with the flying 450 splash at 3:40. ½*

Sultan v Matt Hardy: Bob Backlund sits in on commentary here, to much snark from Ross. The big talk this week is Marlena flashing Sultan last night on the debut of Shotgun Saturday Night. Sultan with the camel clutch at 1:29. DUD

Hunter Hearst Helmsley v Freddie Joe Floyd: The WWF Intercontinental title is not on the line here. Floyd gets a takedown into a waistlock, and HHH is pissed as he needs the ropes to break. Hunter with an authoritative takedown of his own, and he takes Floyd into the corner to crack with chops. Hunter with a hanging vertical suplex to set up a kneedrop, and he puts the boots to Floyd a bit. HHH unloads in the corner, and he lands a high knee out of the ropes. Helmsley with a snapmare to set up a fistdrop, and he ropechokes Floyd from there. Hunter with more chops in the corner, but Floyd catches him with a kick, and makes a comeback. Freddie with a flying backelbow for one, but he telegraphs a backdrop from there, and eats a pedigree at 5:00. This didn’t really flow well, but it was mostly decent. ¾*

The Starburst Fruit Twists Rewind is the finish to the tag match earlier. I sure hope the good folks at Starburst didn’t spend too much on that ad buy

Undertaker v Goon: Cornette promises a ‘New Years gift’ for Undertaker later, which is kind of late, honestly, James E. The referee gets bumped, so Goon grabs his hockey stick, and goes to town on Undertaker. Not that Undertaker sells any of it. Undertaker with the tombstone at 3:32. Afterwards, Cornette offers Undertaker a body bag as the ‘present,’ which feels like… a pretty useless gift for him, honestly. Undertaker responds by tombstoning him, and stuffing him in the body bag. The very bag he was on his way to return. Irony. DUD

BUExperience: Dead crowd, dead matches, near dead promotion.