WCW Monday Nitro (July 22, 1996)

Original Airdate: July 22, 1996

From Orlando, Florida; Your Hosts are Tony Schiavone and Larry Zbyszko (hour one); Eric Bischoff and Bobby Heenan (hour two). We’re still outdoors at Disney-MGM again this week

We start with a clip of Eric Bischoff and Muhammad Ali at Halloween Havoc '94 to remind everyone that Ali had worked with WCW before, since he was in the news after lighting the Olympic torch a few days earlier in Atlanta. And then we see clips of Shaquille O'Neal too, since he's in the Olympics as well. The Ali thing was borderline on its own, but coupled with Shaq, this just comes off as a painfully desperate attempt at looking cool and mainstream

Last week, the nWo covered over the WCW logo with their own, and also didn't abide by open container laws! They're totally out of control!

Scott Norton v Squire David Taylor: Norton uses his size to knock him around at the bell, so Taylor slips between his legs on a criss cross, and throws a dropkick. European uppercuts rattle Norton, but he refuses to properly sell anything, and sends David to the outside with a clothesline. Scott forces him back in, but misses an avalanche, and Taylor fires off more uppercuts. Norton still isn't selling jack shit. Scott dumps him back to the outside for a slam, but he sends him over the top while doing so, and that's a DQ at 1:45. Wow, that was a lot of suck for under two minutes. Lots of no-selling? Check. Bad finish? Check. Bad booking? Check. DUD? Check.

The Horsemen are hanging out at their VIP table, when Gene Okerlund stops by to steal a banana. And squeeze a few melons, probably

Konnan v VK Wallstreet: One dude in the crowd REALLY hates Konnan! Reversal sequence to start, dominated by Konnan, so Wallstreet takes a cheap shot, and turnbuckle smashes him. Wallstreet with a sleeper, but Konnan uses a stunner to quickly escape, and a dropkick sets up an armbar. Wallstreet goes to the eyes to escape again, and this time tosses Konnan to the outside for a trip into the steps. WCW's ring steps are almost comically undersized, causing guys to have to bend down super far to make contact with them. Back in, Wallstreet works the leg a bit, but gets caught using the ropes, and Konnan schoolboys for two. Wallstreet cuts him off with a bodyslam to set up an elbowdrop for two, and it's chinlock time. Boy, I never thought I'd say that a dress pants, dress shirt, and necktie would be a better look for a wrestler than a singlet, but then I saw VK's outfit here. Seriously, how bad does it have to be when the freakin' office wear looks preferable? Wallstreet misses a charge to allow Konnan a comeback, so VK tries the Crash, but Konnan reverses the cradle at 5:15. I've seen worse. *

Okerlund brings Lex Luger, Sting, and Randy Savage out for an interview, and Savage has got one of his primo WWF era outfits on tonight! Yeah buddy! Luger can't even be bothered to wear the TV title around, so I guess he started caring about the belt as much as the bookers did by this point

Glacier vignette. He's coming! And he knows relatively lame looking karate moves!

Uh. Yeah. I don't even know how describe the next segment. Or, well, not so much that I 'don't know' as I 'don't want to.' Basically, it's Renegade, Alex Wright, Jim Powers, and Joe Gomez hanging out on a beach, and removing articles of clothing every time the camera cuts back to one of them. Maybe they were trying to grab whatever demographic was into Shawn Michaels' stripper routines?

Eight-Man Tag Team Match: Kevin Sullivan, Hugh Morrus, Barbarian, and Leprechaun v Renegade, Alex Wright, Jim Powers, and Joe Gomez: And speaking of those beach bums, here they are. Renegade in particular looks bloated as hell, with almost all his muscle mass and definition fading since the push in '95. Leprechaun runs around the ring like a maniac as the bell rings, and things settle on Morrus and Renegade to start, but the camera ignores it - turning away and literally marching to the dressing rooms in order to avoid having to watch any more of this. When even your paid camera people can't stand your booking, it's time to rethink things. Turns out they're heading for the production truck, where the Outsiders have stormed in, and are taking over. Or, well, I think they are. The lighting is so bad that it could really be anyone there. Maybe even Glacier, I don't know. They mess with the show by having the ringside cameras do all sorts of weird pans and close-ups of fans while continuing to completely ignore the match, until security finally has them removed. With that out of the way, we go back to the wrestling, where Sullivan is kicking out of a sunset flip from Gomez, and Powers tags in. Morrus quickly dumps him, which Jim sells for about an hour to give Teddy Long time to show up, and give him a pep talk. Well, whatever he says apparently works, because a fired up Powers charges back in, and Roseanne Barr the door! The beach bums dominate the brawl, but WCW World Champion Giant shows up on behalf of the Dungeon of Doom, and he chokeslams Renegade for the DQ at 5:28. We only saw, like, maybe a minute of the match total, so no rating. Who cares though, it wasn't about that anyway. Giant cleans house on the bums after the bell, and calls Gene out so he can accept Hollywood Hogan's challenge for Hog Wild. Giant notes that when he won the belt, he swore an oath to defend it against all comers. Wait, really? An oath? Wow. Think they make you put one hand on the booking sheet? Nice to see them do something with Giant, at least, as he's been a lame duck of a champion since the nWo angle kicked into gear

Diamond Dallas Page v Prince Iaukea: Iaukea uses his speed to evade DDP at the bell, and throws a dropkick, but Page counters a corner whip with a short-backelbow. Page adds a tilt-a-whirl slam before tossing Iaukea to the outside, but Prince manages a springboard flying bodypress for two on the way back in. Springboard bodypress gets two, but Page reverses a cross corner whip, and the Diamond Cutter ends it at 1:42. They're booking like Vince Russo on a coke binge this week. DUD

Video package review of the Kevin Sullivan/Chris Benoit feud

Dean Malenko v Chavo Guerrero Jr: Hopefully this gets more than two minutes. Fiery criss cross to start, dominated by Malenko. He hits Chavo with a sweet gutbuster for two, and a pop-up flapjack follows, but Guerrero plants a dropkick as they criss cross again, and Malenko bails. He stalls enough to break the momentum, and takes control again on the way back in, rattling Chavo with a turnbuckle smash ahead of a saito suplex. Fallaway slam and a cross corner charge both hit, so Dean takes him up for a superplex, but Chavo blocks, and dives with a flying sunset flip for two. Malenko quickly cuts him off with a clothesline, as we switch commentary teams at the top of the hour, and Dean takes it to the mat with a headscissors. Malenko with a bodyslam to set up a springboard legdrop for two, and he goes to the chinlock, as the rednecks in the crowd start to feel their oats. Dean with another bodyslam ahead of an STF, but Chavo escapes a bow-and-arrow, so Malenko stomps him to keep control. Dean unloads in the corner before delivering a brainbuster, and he quickly follows up with a powerbomb, but here's Jimmy Hart to distract him. That allows Chavo a schoolboy for two, and small package is worth two. Dean tries to save it in the corner, but Guerrero fights him off, and dives with a flying dropkick - only to get caught in the Texas Cloverleaf at 7:49. Good wrestling here, telling a good story with Malenko dominating the rookie, but Guerrero refusing to quit fighting. This aired opposite the shenanigans that opened RAW, and I'd give the WWF the edge. ** ¾

Meng v Ice Train: I won't have any problem if this one is quick, though. Train is too busy playing to the crowd to pay attention to Meng, and gets jumped. Criss cross allows Train a bodypress for two, but Meng quickly pounds him back down, and tosses him to the outside for a beating on the floor. Train gets the high ground on the way back in to try and take control, and a sunset flip is worth two for him, but Meng cuts him off with a clothesline for two. Bodyslam sets up a legdrop for two, so Train tries a small package for two, but can't quite turn the tide. Meng unloads with headbutts, so Train tries a bodyslam, but gets toppled for two. Just give up already! No one likes you! Meng tries a nervehold, but Train seems confused by it more than anything else, and comes back with a jumping clothesline for two. Meng with more headbutts and a reverse chinlock, but Train fights free, so Meng unloads with chops in the corner. Train turns the tables, and manages a cross corner clothesline, as well as an avalanche. Powerslam gets two, so Train comes off the middle rope with an axehandle, but Meng kicks him in the head to block. He then dumps him back to the outside for no apparent reason, allowing Scott Norton to attack for the DQ at 6:11. This went on forever, and had a terrible finish to boot. I'd give the edge to the WWF with the Mero/Goon match, which was pretty lame, but at least it had a finish. ½*

We take a look back at Hollywood Hogan's heel antics over the last couple of weeks. This aired opposite four segments of various backstage going-ons over on RAW, and I'll again give the WWF the head-to-head edge. At least that was fresh material

Glacier promo

Hog Wild promo

Eddie Guerrero v Psychosis: The measure each other some to start, and go to the mat to trade holds as they feel one another out. Psychosis gets him in the corner for some chops, but a cross corner dropkick misses, and Guerrero wins a criss cross with an armdrag. Another one goes Psychosis' way with a dropkick, so Eddie uses a monkeyflip and a clothesline to send the masked man over the top. Looked like he was supposed to go over from the monkeyflip, but he couldn't quite get it. Guerrero dives after him with a flying bodypress, and a side suplex connects for two on the way back inside. Again, but Psychosis back flips out of it, and throws an enzuigiri to set up a legdrop to the back of the head. Bodyslam leads to a flying spinheel kick (a cool spot that you almost never see), and Eddie ends up on the floor, so Psychosis dives after him with a tope. The lack of guardrails at this venue results in Eddie nearly taking out the front row, in a funny bit. Psychosis with a wild flying legdrop on the way back in (so much height!), but Eddie manages a victory cradle for two, and a nice rana leads to a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Another one, but Psychosis counters with a rana into a cradle for two. Looked like Eddie was supposed to reverse the cradle there, but they messed it up. No matter, Psychosis powerbombs his ass to set up a flying corkscrew senton splash for two, but Eddie takes him upstairs for a rana off the top to set up the flying frogsplash at 9:06. Man, Psychosis jobs a lot. The finishing sequence felt rushed, like they had more planned, but were going long, or something. This aired opposite the Mankind/Floyd and Goldust/Horowitz squashes, and it's an easy win for Nitro. ***

A limo has pulled up outside the venue, so Arn Anderson goes over to inspect it, but can't see through the tinted windows. 80s Arn would have smashed through that shit with a tire iron

Six-Man Tag Team Match: Lex Luger, Sting, and Randy Savage v Arn Anderson, Chris Benoit, and Steve McMichael: Woman looks like she's auditioning for a Scarface remake here. Sting takes out all three Horsemen at the bell, but gets overwhelmed, and tackled by McMichael. That allows Arn to toss him to the outside for Benoit and McMichael to abuse, but Savage chases them off before they can get too far. Back in, the Horsemen go to work, cutting the ring in half on the Stinger. McMichael is working hard here, and the limited bursts this match type affords him is allowing him to look good, while Arn and Chris (and Sting) do the real heavy lifting. He does end up looking like a total fool while trying a slam/suplex/I-dunno-what at one point, with Sting looking like he's begging him to just fucking put him down already, before he breaks his neck. He finally fights Anderson off long enough for the hot tag to Luger, and Roseanne Barr the door! Big brawl, and Savage manages to steal the briefcase away from Debra long enough to whack Benoit for Luger to pin at 6:55. Savage never even officially tagged in! This was basic, but energetic. And at least it had a finish. I was totally expecting an nWo attack. Afterwards, the babyface team all cut promos to set up Hog Wild, and that's it. No nWo, no one coming out of the limo, nothing. Okay. This aired opposite the Gunns/Michaels and Johnson main event on RAW, and that's an easy win for the WWF. *

BUExperience: When the show featuring Goon and Freddie Joe Floyd is outperforming your show, you know your show sucks. Actually, contrary to how history presents it now, from a quality standpoint Nitro was a lot more interesting to watch prior to the Hogan reveal than it has been since.

Monday Night Wars Rating Chart

	7/22/96
Show	RAW	Nitro
Rating	2.2	2.6
Total Wins	17	23
Win Streak		6
Better Show (as of 7/22)	10	29