WWE SummerSlam (August 2008)

Original Airdate: August 17, 2008

From Indianapolis, Indiana; Your Hosts are Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler (RAW), Jim Ross and Tazz (Smackdown), Todd Grisham and Matt Striker (ECW)

Opening Match: Montel Vontavious Porter v Jeff Hardy: Porter charges, but Hardy dodges, and kicks his ass all the way out to the floor. Back in, Jeff uses a bodyslam to set up a slingshot legdrop for two, and he grabs an armbar. Porter escapes, so Hardy tries a charge in the corner, but MVP counters with an overhead suplex into the turnbuckles for two. That was NASTY! Porter uses a front-facelock to wear him down for two, and he grabs a reverse chinlock, but Hardy is near escape, so MVP shifts to a kneebar. Jeff makes the ropes and tries a springboard, but Porter slugs him out of the air, and starts dropping knees across the lower back for two. He slams Jeff into the turnbuckles to set up a tree of woe for two, but Hardy escapes an overhead backbreaker rack with a neckbreaker, and he uses the corkscrew kick to set up the slingshot kick - only for Porter to block with a boot for two! MVP uses a dropkick to set up a charge, but Hardy manages a sling blade to counter, and he adds a Russian legsweep to set up a cradle for two. Slingshot kick, but Porter catches him in a powerslam, only for Hardy to counter with a sunset flip for two. Whisper in the Wind sets up the Swanton Bomb, but here’s Shelton Benjamin to distract him with his loud Ed Hardy shirt. Can't get more 2008 than that. That allows Porter to dodge the dive, and Jeff is done at 10:11. It was what it was. *

WWE Intercontinental Title and WWE Women's Title Mixed Tag Team Match: Kofi Kingston and Mickie James v Santino Marella and Beth Phoenix: Mickie and Beth start, and James tries taking her down, but Phoenix uses raw power to block her at every turn. James manages a dropkick to the knee to set up a dropkick for two, but Beth drops her with a side suplex, and passes to Marella. They're still allowing true mixing at this point, so Mickie has to fight him off before tagging Kofi. Kingston flies in with a flying bodypress for two, and he unloads in the corner to send Marella to the outside. Beth comforts him out there to prevent a dive from Kofi, and the distraction allows Marella to snap Kingston's neck across the top rope with a neckbreaker for two. Inside, Marella works a cravat, but Kofi starts to escape, so Beth tags in to cut things off. The challengers cut the ring in half on Kingston, but he slips free long enough to tag, and Mickie comes in hot on Beth. Rana sets up a flying Thesz-press, but Marella breaks up the cover, and Roseanne Barr the door! Marella manages to dodge Kingston, but eats a DDT from Mickie - only for Beth to sneak up with a wheelbarrow facebuster to win the Women's title (and give Marella the Intercontinental title) at 5:41. ½*

Shawn Michaels comes out to announce that, as a result of injuries sustained against Chris Jericho at the Great American Bash, he will have to retreat back into retirement. And you know he's serious because he brings his wife with him, and everything. At least in the 90s he could do these without needing someone to literally hold his hand, but people do change with age. And she's crying, so this is, like, super emotional, you guys. I make fun, but it's actually a good segment, and the crowd is eating it up. Just as Shawn gets done thanking the fans from the bottom of his heart, here comes Jericho himself (in a suit and tie!), and he refuses to accept Michaels' retirement unless Shawn tells him to his face that he (Jericho) is responsible. He wants the pleasure of hearing it, but Shawn refuses, and tells Jericho off. Jericho takes a cheap shot as Rebecca is trying to pull Shawn out of the ring, but Michaels instinctively ducks it like Joey after accidentally proposing to Rachel, and Chris ends up hitting her instead! And he's really "sorry." The crowd totally buys this whole thing (with great little background details like Lilian Garcia jumping up and covering her mouth in shock in the corner of the frame, or the announcers sitting silently), and it's just terrific. Great, great angle, though it probably should have happened on TV instead of pay per view

ECW Title Match: Mark Henry v Matt Hardy: That ECW belt is so ugly looking, even by modern belt standards. Matt sticks and moves at the bell, but gets pounded into the corner, only for Henry to miss an avalanche. That allows Hardy to hit the Twist of Fate, but Tony Atlas pulls Matt out at two to break the cover, and the referee actually disqualifies Henry over it at 0:34. Huh? Like, not even a warning? This was stupid and terrible, and had no place on pay per view. DUD

World Heavyweight Title Match: CM Punk v John Bradshaw Layfield: Bradshaw pounds him to start, but Punk gets the better of a few criss crosses, and JBL takes a bump to the outside to sell a dropkick. Punk dives after him with a tope, and a flying bodypress gets two on the way back in. Charge, but Layfield uses a shoulderblock to get the better of it, and he unloads in the corner. JBL uses a fallaway slam off the middle rope for two, and he corner whips the champ ahead of a bearhug. Punk slugs free, but Bradshaw quickly pounds him back down for two, and hits a floatover suplex for two. Saito suplex gets two, and he grounds Punk in a waistlock next, but the champ slugs free again. Bradshaw traps him in an abdominal stretch instead, but Punk manages a hiptoss to escape, and he drops his challenger with a bulldog. GTS, but the ribs are hurting him, and Bradshaw is able to counter with a short-clothesline to set up a series of elbowdrops for two. I always get nervous when John does that, because he looks like he's on the verge of a massive heart attack most of the way through it. Bradshaw tries another short-clothesline, but Punk ducks this time, and throws a roundhouse kick for two. Springboard flying bodypress follows, but Bradshaw catches him in a powerslam for two, only for Punk to fire off a spinheel kick to prevent a follow-up. That allows Punk a corner whip, but Bradshaw blocks another bulldog, and takes the champ upstairs with a side superplex for two. Poor Punk is bleeding from the TOP of his head as a result of accidentally knocking heads with John earlier on. Bradshaw tries another short-clothesline, but Punk counters with the GTS to retain at 11:15. Nothing special, but good, though the finish felt completely out of nowhere, and fell a little flat. ***

WWE Title Match: Triple H v Great Khali: HHH gets in his face at the bell, and cuts him down to Pedigree size, but Khali blocks. Undeterred, HHH keeps hammering, but Khali shrugs him off with a two-handed chokeslam, and the champ puts the ham in 'cHAMp' with his selling here. Khali with a headvice, but HHH escapes, and Khali bails to the outside after the Game takes a shot at his leg. Hunter follows, but Khali throws him into the barricade to keep control, and he goes to work in the corner as they head back in. Khali with a short-clothesline for two, and he works multiple nerveholds between various poundings. Hunter manages a kneeling facebuster, and he tries the Pedigree again, but Khali backdrops him over the top to block. Hunter sweeps him off of his feet so he can bash the challenger's leg into the post from out there, but Khali smacks him down before he can capitalize, and latches on another headvice as they head back inside. Khali puts the squeeze on him like a Hasbro WWF figures commercial, but HHH manages to slug free, and the Pedigree finishes at 9:20. It seemed like HHH was looking for his Flair moment where he proves that he can carry any worker to a good match, but HHH just wasn't at that level anymore by 2008. Maybe 2000, but not 2008. And maybe even 2018, since he's pretty fully embraced the smoke and mirrors routines these days, usually with great results. ½*

John Cena v Batista: This is a much hyped first ever one-on-one meeting between the two. Batista dominates the initial lockup, but Cena gets the better of a criss cross with a bodyslam, and both back off. They continue measuring each other, but Cena dodges the Batista Bomb, so Batista uses a jackhammer for two instead. Cross corner whip gets reversed, however, allowing Cena a suplex for two. Batista fires back with a sidewalk slam for two, but the Batista Bomb nearly gets countered to the FU, and Batista is forced to clip the leg to block. Batista capitalizes with a kneebreaker into a figure four, but John makes the ropes to save himself, and powers Batista onto his shoulders for a fireman's carry over the top rope! That gives Cena some time to recover, and he manages to hit Batista with a pair of jumping shoulderblocks as the Animal climbs back in. Five Knuckle Shuffle sets up the FU, but Batista blocks, and drills him with a big boot. That leaves both men looking up at the lights, but Batista is up first, and he railroads John into the corner. Batista follows in with a corner clothesline, followed by a spinebuster, and it's Bomb time, buddy! Cena manages to sweep the leg to block, however, and he puts Batista in the STFU! Batista makes the ropes, so Cena tries the FU, but Batista counters to a chinlock/bodyscissors combo. Terrible looking one, too. Cena escapes, so Batista throws a spear at him for two, but John counters a front-powerslam into the FU for two! John goes upstairs with the flying rocker dropper, but gets caught in a sitout powerbomb for two - and I TOTALLY bought that as the finish! Like, I already typed 'for the pin,' and had to backspace. Oh, but then Batista hits the Bomb right after for the real pin at 13:42. This was very direct. Like, they went right into hitting the big moves and stuff, and never looked back. It needed a few more minutes of foundation first, but still a good match overall. *** ¼

Main Event: Hell in a Cell Match: Edge v Undertaker: Kind of weird to think that Undertaker was the grizzled old guy on the roster TEN YEARS AGO, and here he still is playing that role in 2018, while youngster Edge is already long retired. Undertaker tries to corner him at the bell, but Edge sticks and moves to avoid getting trapped against the buckles. He tries a ten-punch, but 'Taker shoves him off, and nails him with a big boot. Well, at least it wasn't the Last Ride cliché. That allows Undertaker to go to work in the corner, and he tosses Edge over the top, following out for a ram into the cage. Undertaker with a series of headbutts on the floor before whipping Edge into the steps, and he uses the guillotine legdrop on the way back in. Undertaker brings the steps in with him, and he props them up in the corner to try a snake-eyes on, but Edge blocks the follow-up boot with an elbow, and he tosses 'Taker into said steps. Edge adds both a dropkick and a spear against the steps, and then stops to take about a half hour stacking up a pair of tables on the floor. He grabs Undertaker for a suplex onto the stack, but 'Taker blocks, so Edge snaps his throat across the top rope instead, then beats on him with a chair. Edge grabs a third table to bring into the ring with him, and everything here just feels so unnatural and coordinated. Instead of using any of the, I dunno, dozen or so weapons already scattered around, Edge needs to stop AGAIN to bring a ladder into the mix, and he beats on Undertaker with a chair in between setting up whatever Kevin McCallister bullshit he has in mind. Finally, he puts Undertaker on the table and heads up the ladder with the chair to dive off, putting the Deadman through it with a chair-assisted flying elbowdrop for two. Well, good for him. He grabs another chair to set up a one-man conchairto, but Undertaker grabs him by the throat to block, and slugs at Edge until Edge bails to the apron. Undertaker blasts him with a big boot to send Edge crashing into the cage, and he follows to bash him with the steps. He tries a snake-eyes out there, but Edge shoves him into the cage to block, and charges with a spear to put 'Taker through one of the walls! That opens up a nasty gash in Undertaker's arm, and they brawl out of the cell, where 'Taker whips him into the barricade. He takes a swing with one of the monitors from the announce table, but Edge ducks, and returns fire with another monitor. They both end up on the announce tables, and Edge runs across them to put 'Taker through the puzzle with a spear. Oh darn, some poor intern probably spent their whole entire Sunday piecing that together! Back into the cell, Edge grabs the ladder to bash the Deadman with, and he finds a spare TV camera underneath the ring to nail Undertaker with as well, for two. Spear, but Undertaker catches him in a chokeslam for two - as the commentators try to get 'Demon from Death Valley' over as yet another nickname for him. Undertaker tries the Last Ride, but Edge goes low to block, and delivers the Impaler for two. Edge goes for the ladder, but Undertaker fights him off, and tries the Ride again, but Edge counters with a spear for two. He takes 'Taker into the corner for a ten-punch, and you can guess what happens next. For two. I know I say it, like, A LOT, but that's the worst, least believable transition there is. I mean, how is it plausible that ANY wrestler wouldn't know better by this point, let alone one who has wrestled 'Taker so many times before. Undertaker tries a Tombstone on the steps, but Edge counters with the Edge-o-Matic onto them for two, and he tries his own version of the ropewalk forearm, but Undertaker crotches him on the top to block. That allows 'Taker to follow upstairs, and he launches Edge off, through the double table stack on the floor to satisfy ol' Chekhov! Back in, Undertaker throws a spear, and tees off with the TV camera - prompting a funny line from the commentators about how the camera is HD: human devastation. Well, not 'funny' in an intentional way, but whatever. Undertaker then gives Edge one last taste of his own medicine with a one-man conchairto, and the Tombstone decisively finishes at 26:44. So, basically, he did exactly what Joe Pesci wanted to do to that punk McCallister before that weird old shovel dude stepped in. This wasn't bad at all, just not my cup of tea. So much of it just seemed manufactured and overly scripted, and the whole thing felt like it dragged on for too long. ** ¾

BUExperience: Pretty lackluster overall. Not bad, or anything, but it didn’t feel like anything of consequence happened, and there were no standout great performances. It’s a pretty breezy watch though, especially compared to the bottomless pits that the 2018 shows feel like.

**